Saving Money VS. taking vacations?

[DLgal]

Why is that? Are parents mandated to pay for a kids university? That seems pretty onerous. And WHAT university is worth $45K per year for a simple undergraduate degree that probably wouldn't even result in an annual salary of $45K?

ITA. I am not funding my kids' college. My parents didn't pay for mine, I did, with loans. I am doing fine and if my kids go to college, they will have a decent 529 plan each with probably around $20-30k. That's a good chunk to get started and they will have to figure out the rest. My kids are both Autistic so college might not even be the best option for them. We are not putting college savings ahead of, really, anything. Each kid gets $100/month into the 529. That's all we will ever contribute. Our own retirement is way, way, WAY more important, as are our vacations.

OP, you have plenty of money in savings. Keep vacationing and don't stress about it. You seem to be doing very well financially.

 

[crisi]

OP, you have plenty of money in savings. Keep vacationing and don't stress about it. You seem to be doing very well financially.

Well that completely depends on how the money got there.

If they've saved $150k, they are doing great. And I wouldn't worry about it (I would worry about those pensions, but I'm a worrier).

If they inherited $200k a year ago, and before that had saved nothing, paid off $30k worth of debt and have overspent $20k this year, then they aren't doing so great.

I know a few people who have done the second - gotten some sort of windfall, and for awhile their finances look awesome, but its an illusion. You have to look longer term than the bank balance of a moment.

 

[ssawka]

Why is that? Are parents mandated to pay for a kids university? That seems pretty onerous. And WHAT university is worth $45K per year for a simple undergraduate degree that probably wouldn't even result in an annual salary of $45K?

ITA. I am not funding my kids' college. My parents didn't pay for mine, I did, with loans. I am doing fine and if my kids go to college, they will have a decent 529 plan each with probably around $20-30k. That's a good chunk to get started and they will have to figure out the rest. My kids are both Autistic so college might not even be the best option for them. We are not putting college savings ahead of, really, anything. Each kid gets $100/month into the 529. That's all we will ever contribute. Our own retirement is way, way, WAY more important, as are our vacations.

OP, you have plenty of money in savings. Keep vacationing and don't stress about it. You seem to be doing very well financially.

I never understood the need that some parents feel to fully fund their kids education. If the kids take out loans and choose a major carefully (IT, Health Care, Law, etc.) then they should have no problem paying back those loans once they are established. Now if they choose a non-marketable degree than college is a waste of time and money, unless they have the drive to continue their studies. This is not to say that the majors I have listed are the only worth whiled and marketable degrees, but I saw many students when I was in undergrad that simply picked a degree that they "enjoyed" without giving any thought to its marketability.

Now if parents can and want to help out, that's fantastic, but you need to put your retirement first. You are really doing your children a disservice if you pay for their education and do not take care on your own retirement. You will become a burden to your children if you lack the funds to support yourself when you can no longer work.

Also, what can a $45K a year school get you that a reasonably price public school cannot, besides a name on a resume? There is not necessarily a correlation between the amount you pay for an education and the reputation of the school? For example, I grew up in Pennsylvania and did my undergraduate studies at Penn State. Penn State has a great reputation academically and was one of the cheapest schools I could have chosen to go to. When it comes to education, the adage of "you get what you pay for" does not necessarily hold.

 

[disneymagicgirl]

I am with the others who say we have have no intention of fully funding out kids' college years. We will help, but it is not a priority. They need to study hard and access all the scholarships they can, choose an affordable school, and practical degree. I paid my own college and graduated with a nursing degree with only $25k student loan debt and am surviving just fine. I worked during college to help pay it as I went along as well as paying my own living expenses.

 

[crisi]

Also, what can a $45K a year school get you that a reasonably price public school cannot, besides a name on a resume? There is not necessarily a correlation between the amount you pay for an education and the reputation of the school? For example, I grew up in Pennsylvania and did my undergraduate studies at Penn State. Penn State has a great reputation academically and was one of the cheapest schools I could have chosen to go to. When it comes to education, the adage of "you get what you pay for" does not necessarily hold.

A couple of things. Usually very small class sizes for all your classes. Small classes also mean you get professor attention, few classes in a private college are taught by TAs and your prof knows your name, that can be nice when applying to grad school. Small private colleges often give undergrads experiences that you won't get as an undergrad at a public university with grad students - like helping with a prof's research. You get contacts, my husband's career has really benefited from alumni contacts, and that has paid his tuition over many times. Finally, when your graduating class has 200 people in it, the class has a certain intimacy in its alumni that tends to be lacking in larger schools - that intimacy opens doors thirty years later. During college, a small private liberal arts campus is a magical place - sort of like Disneyworld . Where a large or even medium state school is a little more like a Six Flags. As to reputation, some public colleges have great reputations, some have lousy reputations. Private colleges are the same. I went to a highly ranked public school, my husband to a highly ranked private one. I then went back and went to a school that isn't well respected, for good reason - but it was an easy degree that I wanted.

Pay for your kids college or don't - I respect it either way, but I ask that you respect my choice as well - you don't have to "get" it, but I do ask that you respect it. I hope that in having the money available to pay for their college, I'll be able to help my kid's get the same sort of jump on their adult lives that my parents were able to give me - while my friends were paying down student loans, I was buying a home. While they continued to pay down student loans, I started a stock portfolio - and started saving for my kids' educations. I remember being broke at 22, my income going towards my mortgage, but I didn't have loans, if I'd had loans, I wouldn't have been able to afford rent. Many of my friends were living in less than safe neighborhoods at that age, because that was what they could afford.

Other than my life, getting me through college without loans is the best thing my parents were able to give me, and something I will be eternally grateful for. I feel an obligation to pass that on to the best of our ability. Since our ability is significant, that isn't a problem. Its meant fewer vacations, but I'd give up every vacation to send my kids to school. Education is the one of the most important things I can give them to ensure their success.

 

[ssawka]

A couple of things. Usually very small class sizes for all your classes. Small classes also mean you get professor attention, few classes in a private college are taught by TAs and your prof knows your name, that can be nice when applying to grad school. Small private colleges often give undergrads experiences that you won't get as an undergrad at a public university with grad students - like helping with a prof's research. You get contacts, my husband's career has really benefited from alumni contacts, and that has paid his tuition over many times. Finally, when your graduating class has 200 people in it, the class has a certain intimacy in its alumni that tends to be lacking in larger schools - that intimacy opens doors thirty years later. During college, a small private liberal arts campus is a magical place - sort of like Disneyworld . Where a large or even medium state school is a little more like a Six Flags. As to reputation, some public colleges have great reputations, some have lousy reputations. Private colleges are the same. I went to a highly ranked public school, my husband to a highly ranked private one. I then went back and went to a school that isn't well respected, for good reason - but it was an easy degree that I wanted.

I am afraid that I have to respectively disagree with many of your points here.

First, in terms of experience, going to a large university provide me with the opportunity to work on an internship for a Fortune 500 company, who recruited me on campus. I am not sure I would have had the same opportunity had I gone to a smaller school. I also received my first job before I ever graduated thanks to on-campus recruiting.

Second, in terms of contacts, I currently have a nationwide network of contacts available to me thanks to my involvement with my fraternity. Furthermore, the fact that I went to Penn State has been a topic at nearly every job interview that I have ever had because there has almost always been another Penn State graduate at the company I was applying to.

Next, in terms of graduate school, I am currently working on a PhD and had absolutely no problem being accepted into any academic program that I have applied to.

Lastly, I find your "Six Flags" analogy extremely arrogant. College is what you make of it. You can have a great experience at either a large university or a small college. A larger university forces you to crawl out of your shell in order to get noticed by your professors, a lot like life in the corporate world. Much of it also depends on your learning style. I am very much a self-learner, so the larger class size suited me just fine. Others need the smaller classes to excel. There is nothing right or wrong with either approach. Besides, my original comment was related to public vs. private schools. No one said anything about the size of the school. I just mentioned Penn State because that is where I attended.

Pay for your kids college or don't - I respect it either way, but I ask that you respect my choice as well - you don't have to "get" it, but I do ask that you respect it. I hope that in having the money available to pay for their college, I'll be able to help my kid's get the same sort of jump on their adult lives that my parents were able to give me - while my friends were paying down student loans, I was buying a home. While they continued to pay down student loans, I started a stock portfolio - and started saving for my kids' educations. I remember being broke at 22, my income going towards my mortgage, but I didn't have loans, if I'd had loans, I wouldn't have been able to afford rent. Many of my friends were living in less than safe neighborhoods at that age, because that was what they could afford.

I agree! I am the last person to tell anyone what they should do with their money. My comment was addressing the PP that posted that the OP should not be taking vacations because they have children that will soon be heading to college. Well, no one should ever feel guilty for not seeing the need to fully pay for their children's education.

As for the paying back student loans, that goes back to my original point, which was that you can get a quality eduction at a cheaper school and be highly employable if you carefully select a major. I had very little help from my parents other than room & board and DW had no help from her parents. We were married one year after we both graduated, had a single family home in the suburbs a year after that, and still paid off all of our student loans within four years after graduation, mostly thanks to my salary. So, I am not sure if it would have made much of a difference if my parents had paid for my schooling and they would probably be completely broke now.

Other than my life, getting me through college without loans is the best thing my parents were able to give me, and something I will be eternally grateful for. I feel an obligation to pass that on to the best of our ability. Since our ability is significant, that isn't a problem. Its meant fewer vacations, but I'd give up every vacation to send my kids to school. Education is the one of the most important things I can give them to ensure their success.

Again, that is your choice and I do respect it, but not everyone sees it that way and no one should feel guilty for wanting to take vacations with their family instead of picking up the full tab for their children's education. My parents always made sure that we had a vacation every year and I am grateful for the experiences I had. It gave me a much broader education than I would have ever gotten from college alone.

 

[imsayin]

A couple of things. Usually very small class sizes for all your classes. Small classes also mean you get professor attention, few classes in a private college are taught by TAs and your prof knows your name, that can be nice when applying to grad school. Small private colleges often give undergrads experiences that you won't get as an undergrad at a public university with grad students - like helping with a prof's research. You get contacts, my husband's career has really benefited from alumni contacts, and that has paid his tuition over many times. Finally, when your graduating class has 200 people in it, the class has a certain intimacy in its alumni that tends to be lacking in larger schools - that intimacy opens doors thirty years later. During college, a small private liberal arts campus is a magical place - sort of like Disneyworld . Where a large or even medium state school is a little more like a Six Flags. As to reputation, some public colleges have great reputations, some have lousy reputations. Private colleges are the same. I went to a highly ranked public school, my husband to a highly ranked private one. I then went back and went to a school that isn't well respected, for good reason - but it was an easy degree that I wanted.

Pay for your kids college or don't - I respect it either way, but I ask that you respect my choice as well - you don't have to "get" it, but I do ask that you respect it. I hope that in having the money available to pay for their college, I'll be able to help my kid's get the same sort of jump on their adult lives that my parents were able to give me - while my friends were paying down student loans, I was buying a home. While they continued to pay down student loans, I started a stock portfolio - and started saving for my kids' educations. I remember being broke at 22, my income going towards my mortgage, but I didn't have loans, if I'd had loans, I wouldn't have been able to afford rent. Many of my friends were living in less than safe neighborhoods at that age, because that was what they could afford.

Other than my life, getting me through college without loans is the best thing my parents were able to give me, and something I will be eternally grateful for. I feel an obligation to pass that on to the best of our ability. Since our ability is significant, that isn't a problem. Its meant fewer vacations, but I'd give up every vacation to send my kids to school. Education is the one of the most important things I can give them to ensure their success.

I'm with you 100%! Education is a priority in our house. I also think picking a college that is a right fit for a student is important. Big state schools aren't the best learning environments for everyone. People who think "I did it on my own, so can my kids" don't understand it's not as easy as it used to be. I will be proud when my kids graduate debt free.

 

[ssawka]

I'm with you 100%! Education is a priority in our house. I also think picking a college that is a right fit for a student is important. Big state schools aren't the best learning environments for everyone. People who think "I did it on my own, so can my kids" don't understand it's not as easy as it used to be. I will be proud when my kids graduate debt free.

Education should be a priority. I would not still be in school if it wasn't. It is all about balance though.

 

[ssawka]

I'm with you 100%! Education is a priority in our house. I also think picking a college that is a right fit for a student is important. Big state schools aren't the best learning environments for everyone. People who think "I did it on my own, so can my kids" don't understand it's not as easy as it used to be. I will be proud when my kids graduate debt free.

Sorry, duplicate post.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Ssawka and Crisi, agree with you on different points. (Making way in large school; importance of low debt load.)

Would have liked to see your posts here: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=3195479&referrerid=70088

 

[disney1990]

Why do conversations have to turn so "toxic" with name calling? Everybody is different. Some people have the money & can pay for their kids college and some people can't. We help our kids, but didn't pay for it all. In the end, they had student loans. Our youngest would not have survived in a large college where classes sometimes have 200 or more students. She needed more hands on - her professors knew her name & if she wasn't in class and ran into them later in the day -- they knew who she was and wanted to know what was going on. Did it cost more money to be at a smaller school? Of course it did. But in the end, it was worth it.

 

[Colleen27]

Why is that? Are parents mandated to pay for a kids university? That seems pretty onerous.

And even if you do believe parents should pay for college (which, actually, I do), there's a lot of middle ground between not paying at all and saving enough to take a "sky's the limit" approach to choosing a school.

My kids will have a lot of help with college, enough that given smart choices they'll each be able to manage a 4 year degree without debt. That doesn't mean we have the cost of an Ivy League education saved for each of them, though, and we aren't willing to give up family travel and other extras to save more. It is all about balance - we save, we encourage them to work hard, and we talk about smart choices, but we don't feel obligated to sacrifice the things we enjoy most today to give them carte blanche in their educational choices tomorrow.

 

[cjbcam]

I have mixed feelings on this topic. I paid tuition, books and bills except rent. My parents paid rent. I am a big believer in if you work for what you get you appreciate it more than if it was handed to you.

 

[cjbcam]

I have mixed feelings on this topic. I paid tuition, books and bills except rent. My parents paid rent. I am a big believer in if you work for what you get you appreciate it more than if it was handed to you.

Sorry wasn't finished ... I think that helping your kids out and still being able to take holidays is way better than giving them the whole free ride. Making memories with your kids is way more valuable than them having to contribute to their own education.

 

[AJ1983]

Sorry wasn't finished ... I think that helping your kids out and still being able to take holidays is way better than giving them the whole free ride. Making memories with your kids is way more valuable than them having to contribute to their own education.

I agree 100%, as well as with your pp that kids appreciate more what isn't just handed to them. I also think its great to help your kids as much as you can, but I don't believe you should have to sacrifice everything in your own life (ie family vacations) in order to give your kid a "carte blanche" for their educational choices (I am paraphrasing another pp here who said its all about balance).

I just think the $45K /year suggested by a pp is ridiculous to pay for a liberal arts degree, regardless of whether its the parents or the students footing the bill. Oh, and I have an English degree...NEVER would have paid $180,000 for it. I paid for law school for less than half of that.

 

[Angie789]

I am a big believer in if you work for what you get you appreciate it more than if it was handed to you.

The research supports this - people who pay their own way through school report a higher degree of satisfaction with their education. They also go on to be the biggest alumni givers, by a very wide margin.

Back to the topic... I think it is very important to have special times with your family that are a break from normal life. But it does NOT have to be a Disney vacation, or any other budget buster. We start with the budget first - what can we afford to do while still meeting all our other commitments/goals? Once we have that number, then we go shopping for a vacation. I think people get into trouble when they get their heart set on a SPECIFIC vacation, and then start looking at the numbers. If it doesn't fit your budget, you either spend too much or feel disappointment about whatever you end up doing instead.

I know this probably isn't practical advise on THIS board, where 99% of posters have their heart set on Disney all the time, but if you can flip the order of deciding on a vacation and figuring out how to pay for the vacation, you might get better psychological results!

 

[disykat]

We happily gave up on many vacations so we could be in a financial position to help our kids with college. That said, it has to be a balance. We felt it was important to vacation. For us, that didn't mean WDW very often because we live on the other side of the US, but our kids have been in about half of the states, have visited relatives, have experienced train travel, plane travel, a cruise, and experienced accommodations that ranged from tent camping to condo stays.

We gave up staying in nice resorts and we gave up traveling overseas. We didn't give up vacations, we simply vacationed within a budget that fit our priorities. For us, the priority was having money to help our kids with college.

I don't know very many people who "fully fund" college because they expect their kids to hold jobs etc., but most parents that I know try their darndest to help their kids keep the debt load down.

The OP sounds like she's in a position to vacation without guilt. I think she needs to give herself permission. It's all about being realistic with your finances and planning accordingly.

 

[imsayin]

The research supports this - people who pay their own way through school report a higher degree of satisfaction with their education. They also go on to be the biggest alumni givers, by a very wide margin.

Can you direct me to where that research is? I hear people say this all the time, but it wasn't my experience, so I'm curious to see the research.

 

[Angie789]

Can you direct me to where that research is? I hear people say this all the time, but it wasn't my experience, so I'm curious to see the research.

PMed you. This is getting very far off topic.

 

[kymom99]

We have paid to send our son to private school for elementary and high school. Once he gets to college, he is going to take on some of the burden. My husband works for a local university so he can go there for 1/2 price. It is the same school I attended, so it will certainly be good enough for him. I have told him that if he has a strong calling towards a major that is not offered there, we will do what we can to make it happen. But I am not going to worry about paying for a college experience based on the prestige of the school or the popularity according to his peers.

When we were preparing for high school, many of my son's classmates' parents would say, "I don't know where he wants to go to high school yet." Wait, what?? Kids are choosing their high schools now? Not in my house. Many of them chose a private school a county away which costs more and provides no transportation, mostly because their friends all decided that was the cool place to go. Never would that fly with me. My son is having awesome experiences and getting a fine education at the school he is attending. And he can step out on the driveway at 6:27 AM and a bus will pick him up. I am all about being practical.

I would never short change my only child, but I also will not give in to pressure to foot the bill for a college based on any perceptions of the grass being greener somewhere else. I am a teacher and I know that statistics are used to recruit and can be manipulated to show whatever we want them to show. I am in the group that says education is what you make of it.

Soooo....take your vacations and live life. If you are mindful of your financial situation, things will be okay.