SAHM....help me prepare!

[crisi]

Some people think that by the time you factor the hot water bill and detergent, cloth aren't cheaper enough to make it worth the bother. I don't know that I agree - if you are watching pennies, the bother isn't much.

When we looked into it, cloth was cheapest (but you could spend a small fortune on diaper covers, which are the greatest invention known to man, but expensive), a diaper service more, and disposibles more. But the difference wasn't huge.

Even if you go cloth, you'll probably want disposables for trips outside the house - it won't be a huge drain on the budget, but you probably won't avoid them completely, either.

If you go disposibles, find out who the loss leaders on diapers in your area are. WalMart is usually pretty good - they sell diapers at a loss, hoping you'll buy other things there. Same with formula, if you need (or choose) to use it - shop whomever the loss leader is. This doesn't always work, my son broke out from certain brands of diapers, so we couldn't just wear what was on sale. And some kids need specialty formulas.

On the breastfeeding front - don't assume breastfeeding will work. Register with all the companies to get formula coupons and samples, just in case. The food shelf will be more than happy to get cans of formula you don't use. Also, network with other new moms, breastfeeding moms often do this, so they often have cans of formula around they won't use. (Some breastfeeders think this is a bad idea, if you have formula around it can be very seductive when you are tired and your nipples are cracked, the extra trip to the store, they feel, might be the difference between success and failure - I think they don't give us enough credit).

 

[PrincessMommy2]

I think you've gotten lots of great tips here...I wish I had half of these when I had my first! I have been a SAHM for almost 4 years and I had every intention of returning to work once my maternity leave was over. However, when the time to go back was approaching, I realized I just could not leave my daughter in daycare all day. DH and I decided I was not going back to work and we cut our income in half. Yes, we were scared about how we were going to do it because we thought we really needed my income. We were lucky that it all worked out for us, though because I know some Moms who would love to be home with their kids and just can't afford to. Kudos to you for planning in advance!! Anyway, as far as tips.... I had way too many baby clothes (Half were packed away with tags still on them!), we had to have all the little gadgets that really were not used enough to make it worth buying them. With number 2 we were much more practical, hand me downs are not a bad thing!! I did breastfeed both, which saved a lot of money. But, for some women, formula/bottles are better for them. I never used cloth diapers, but I will say that after buying nothing but Pampers for our first because we were told they were the best (and most expensive), I tried other less expensive brands for number 2. Wal-mart and Target brands are just as good as Pampers and are much less expensive! The same thing with the baby wipes - or you can make your own!

Good luck!! You will never regret the decision to be home with your kids when they are young!!

 

[Carrie Ellis]

A gift that was given to me that probably saved me $100s of dollars w/ my twins was homemade baby wipes.

You will need a rubbermaid container-3quart. I would buy two. I use ONLY Bounty Big Roll paper towels. I don't know if any others work. Someone else might know! I use the electic knife (such as for cutting turkey) and cut them in half. You can use any serrated sp? knife. It will look like two big rolls of toilet paper! When I buy a pack of towel (usually a 2 pack), I cut them all at once so it is very quick to make a fresh batch.

Place the 1/2 into the rubber maid container. Then take 2 cups of water ( I use a 2 cup measuring cup) and add 1 T. of baby wash soap. Mix and pour over towel (in container). let it sit and asorb for a minute. After that the brown roll in the middle is easy to remove and will start the "pull" of the paper towel-now wipes-out.

I loved these. They are gentle and can be used for hands and faces and the you know what!

I always had two made and carried one in the car. After intial investment of the container and soap....each time you make a bucket it will cost around .50 to .75! Comapred two $2.50 for wipes at the store.

And boy do you go through them the first year!

My neighbor decorated the outside using cut out baby wrapping paper. She overlapped baby type pictures from the paper and used glue (forgot the name but you buy it at craft stores) that is clear and you brush it on.

 

[GoofItUp]

This advice is great....thank you all!! I'm going to print out this thread and keep it in a safe place. There's some things I can work on now, but I'll need to re-read this every so often so I can remember all the different things to do.

 

[hercamore]

I have been a SAHM for 23 years!

Best money we ever spent was on our popup camper many years ago.

Great way to take affordable family trips and you have all your stuff in one place and kids love camping. Lots of campgrounds in Fl including Disney. Great way to tour the Naitonal Parks, too.

herc.

 

[Carrie Ellis]

I am a SAHM kind of with 2 sets of twins. I went to college, received two degrees and began a full time job before my 1st set was born. I know now that I was depressed to some degree after the babies were born. Being a mom and wife is rewarding but not the same type of instant "job well done" kind of thanks as you might receive at your place of employment.

I went back to work after my 1st were one and my husband and I worked opposite shifts. We did manage but it was tough on us not seeing each other.

We moved to DC, both with promotions and placed our boys in a"preschool" (fancy name for daycare). I did not feel right about it. When the second set came along I ended up taking a year off and now I work one day in the office which is my husband's flex day and the other week I work out of the home a couple hours a day.

This is good for my soul. The flex day (he works 9 hour days so every payperiod equals only 9 days) that my husband stays home allows him to get a small taste of what I do, which produces respect and I get a chance to talk to grown ups.

It does not have to be all or nothing!!

 

[MrsPete]

I've stayed at home for extended periods, but I'm pretty much a working mom. Still, I'm frugal and can give you some good advice on this topic:

Live on one salary for a while -- we did this for the first three years of our marriage, and we didn't regret it a bit. It's not 100% reliable though: you'll spend DIFFERENTLY when you're at home. More in some ways, less in others.

If you really need to save money, get rid of one car. I know, this is America -- EVERYONE has a car. Well, think back to the 50s and 60s when SAHMs were the standard -- most people had one car. The second car is a huge expense, and with some planning one car can work for most SAHMs. We also made do with one car for the first three years of our marriage. Getting rid of one car saves in another way too: if you can't make impulse trips to the mall, you can't make impulse buys at the mall. You'll find that you're forced to plan your spending ahead of time, and you'll probably make wiser choices.

In fact, looking back to the 50s and 60s is a good rule of thumb for frugality. How were people able to survive on one income back then? Well, consider what they didn't have: cable TV, cell phones, cars for teens, fast food restaurants on every corner . . . Consider things that were considered standard middle class then (but are now looked down upon): kids sharing bedrooms, one-bath houses, camping as a vacation, sewing/mending clothing. If you pattern your spending after "the old days", you'll be able to afford the SAHM routine from "the old days".

Don't buy everything in Babies R Us. A great deal of that stuff is absolutely not necessary. Especially don't stock up on baby clothing that'll fit for only a few weeks. Make sure you have an ample supply of onesies, sleepers, and socks -- then 1-2 dressy outfits.

Is there a toy library near you? My kids OWNED very few toys when they were smaller, but they always had the best stuff. We'd bring home a huge dollhouse with all the trimmings one week, the next week we'd get a science kit, the next week we'd get the Little Tikes workbench, the next week we'd get a box of costumes . . . it cost $10/year to join. They never had a problem giving the toys back because they were excited about taking home something "new".

I tried cloth diapers, but I found that after considering the cost of the extra hot water washes, I was saving only pennies. I chose to focus on saving in other areas. I found a great source of second-quality disposables delivered right to my door, which was very convenient and less than half the price of Walmart diapers.

Homemade baby food is super easy and well worth the effort. I used to whirl it through my small food processor, then freeze it in ice cube trays, then finally transfer the cubes to ziplock bags. I could defrost just enough for a meal.

Breastfeeding is much easier than bottle feeding -- once you and the baby have established the habit. It's worthwhile for the savings. It's worthwhile for the convenience. It's worthwhile for the health benefits. Even when I went back to work, I had no problem breastfeeding on a part-time basis (the secret was plenty of water, juice, and milk -- if I got busy and didn't drink enough, I'd notice a decrease in my milk production the next day).

Do protect yourself financially. Make sure you have adequate insurance. If you were to be disabled or killed, your husband would need to pay others to take over your duties, and it wouldn't come cheap. Also, make sure you're able to step back into the work force if something tragic were to happen to your marriage or your husband's job -- keep your skills current, and maintain some key business relationships. Consider your retirement savings too. We all know plenty of people who've found themselves in unbelievable circumstances. Be prepared ahead of time so your family will not suffer if tragedy should strike. Having a "just in case" plan is not saying you're not committed to your children -- it means you're realistic and prepared.

 

[LKS]

I used a diaper service with my first two (12 and 10 years ago, respectively.) I loved it, but it was no cheaper than disposables, I'm sure. I just thought the disposable diapers seemed too rough, stiff, whatever, for a newborn. I worked full-time too, and I can tell you that the cloth diapers set the daycare gals back on their heels, but they all learned to do it and I hauled those used diapers back home each night to put in my pail for the service. Now I can't believe I did that, but at home they were great. You do have to change a lot more often, but it's good for baby anyway.

When I had the 3rd, 7 yrs ago, I had moved to a town with no service so used all disposables and they were fine.

But buying diapers and washing them - I don't care how much money it saved - there is NO WAY! I would eat spaghettios for a year to pay for the disposables.

 

[punkin]

To be honest, I did not wash my own diapers to save on money. Both my kids had extremely sensitive bottoms and did not do well in disposables. Also, 12 years ago, I could not find a diaper service where we lived so I bought the diapers. When the second one came along, I was a pro and didn't really mind using them.

 

[Carrie Ellis]

I agree so much with MrsPete. Very well said.

We did one car for a couple of years. Then my husband bought a used small truck for him. That worked even better.

You do spend differently. I buy a lot of new clothes for the kids a season before for next to nothing. I pack them in a tote and when the next season comes they have very nice new clothes. I can get them cheaper than some garage sales. I usually buy 1 size larger and have not had a problem with that but now my 8 year old boys are getting difficult to predict with jeans. I will have to buy those during the season.

Stay way way far from credit cards.


I am a full believer in SAHM keeping their skills up. Even my mom who stayed home all her life has very few options now that the kids are out.

 

[FayeW]

I read this in a magazine, and never forgot it. To prepare to be a parent do the following:

1) Borrow 2 baby goats, and take them to the grocery store with you to do your weekly shopping. (This will simulate shopping with toddlers)

2) Attempt to put an octopus, and all eight tenatacles, in a drawstring bag and close it ( This will be good practice for putting a squirming baby in a snowsuit)

3) Go to the drugstore, open your wallet, and tell them to help themselves. Arrange to have the rest of your paycheque sent directly to the grocery store.

I have no real advice of any value, except make sure that in all the attention you are lavishing on little Johnny or little Suzy by being a SAHM, you manage not to instill the notion that they are the very center of (everyone's) universe, and that they do not end up with some misplaced sense of entitlement. I have friends and acquaintances who have done this. A good friend has children who are polite enough, but she can't walk through the door without them asking what she bought for them. I look after some of their financial affairs, and they are bankrupting themselves to provide RIDICULOUS perks for the children. SHE received a substantial windfall in o/t pay, and gave 10% to EACH of the children, to spend as they wish. Not 10 mins before she told me about it, she was asking when they would receive some money I had arranged for them on their mortgage, because they need the money. Unreal.

The other person who treats her child like he can do no wrong has a child who is completely insufferable.