Sadness during the Holidays

[tink_lover]

My neighbor just lost her mom. But I can't stop thinking about my SIL. She lost her sister and mother to cancer within weeks of each other a few years ago. She has one surviving brother. His wife was diagnosed 8 weeks ago with lung cancer (she never smoked) that has metastasized. She has been in the hospital since Thanksgiving and is expected to die at any time. I'm just so sad for SIL. Please think about those people going thru these hard times during the holidays.

 

[Rafiki31]

I have to agree with you. My cousin commited suicide on Thanksgiving, it was the first year without his parents (lost them both last year) and he was just laid off. If only we had taken more time to make sure he was doing ok. Its just awful, the wake was today and funeral tomorrow.

Please take a moment this holiday to check in on those that lost loved ones this year, or that may be depressed.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

Holidays are bittersweet for me. This will be my third Christmas without my dad. It feels like every holiday season is painfully the same, yet completely different. I don't know if that makes sense.

 

[bettyann29]

This year the holidays are a little sadder in our family.. We lost our Grandmother in May and within a month my Uncle passed away.. Both on my moms side.. My mom had a stroke right afterwards but thankfully has recovered.. The drs think the stroke was brought on by the stress of my grandmom and uncle passing away..

This year is especially tough for her.. Please keep my mom and our entire family in your prayers..

 

[need2cruise]

The past 2 years has been awful with the holidays--this year is going to be the worst w/ the most important part of our family gone......

But they are all smiling down from Heaven on us right, so just gotta look up and wave!

 

[IsZisIt]

I am fortunate that my family is healthy, but I am really sad this holiday season because my DH left me and my 2 DD's. He moved out yesterday and it has sucked all the holiday cheer right out of me.

 

[Rose&Mike]

to everyone. I have started this reply 3 times, and keep deleting. I have a really hard time at this time of the year. I fake it pretty good for DS, but it's hard. We have a great life, but no extended family to speak of. DHs parents both died a long time ago, and my parents were horribly abusive, so we've had no contact with them for many years. Christmas was a pretty miserable experience growing up, and sometimes those leftover feelings are hard to shake. I get really sad when I hear about huge family gatherings, and even when I hear people complaining about their family issues and the stupid gifts they receive. I have a great life, it's just hard to not be a little sad sometimes.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm so sorry.

My mom and her husband just lost a dear friend who was the DH in a couple that are their best friends. He was in a second motorcycle accident in several months. Both accidents very serious, but this time he had to be flown to Miami (from the lower keys) and was in ICU. He was too injured to have two much needed surgeries and just couldn't get well enough to have them and died 2 days after Thanksgiving.

They are devestated and I'm sure his wife is beyond devestated. His first bike is what saved his life in his first accident and this bike didn't have the same safety features.

I'm so sorry for everyone missing loved ones this holiday season.

 

[C.Ann]

Lots of lost loved ones among my family and friends - the hardest for me being my dad in '87, DH in 2005, my brother in 2006, and my dear, dear friend in November of 2008..

I try not to let it bring me down though.. There are others out there who are hurting too.. Of course I miss my loved ones - every single day - but I get through it by reminding myself that I still have loved ones I can focus on - and I would never want to do anything that would make their holidays sad..

To all who are hurting and sad:

 

[amyy]

I have been thinking a lot about this and it is nice to have a place to write it down. I am sorry to hear of everyone's losses. Last week a former co-worker of mine was killed in a car accident. She was only 43 with a husband and 3 children. In December several years ago my best friend's brother, wife and 2 children were all killed. It happen the night they put up there Christmas tree and I always think about it when I put up my Christmas tree. A friend of mine and her baby were killed in a car accident several years ago while they were stopped on the side of the road. Her husband was out of the car helping another family who had gone off the road. A tractor trailer truck couldn't stop and hit their car. They had gone out Chrismtmas shopping. I don't like to mention these things to other peope because it is so much sadness and I know they don't want to hear it but I still remember it all.

On a positive note some of you may know me from being on these boards. Last Christmas day my mother went in the hospital. I was beside myself. Sitting in the hall of the hospital just sobbing. You know that loud sobbing when you can't even catch your breath and everyone can hear you? I just totally fell apart. Anyway, that night people on here were so supportive. I am glad to say she is doing well this Christmas and will be coming to our house. Last Christmas we were eating a free meal a local agency put on at the hospital. This thread reminds me I need to get a check out to them. It meant so much that they took the time to do that.

Gosh this was long. It feels good to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading and I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Rose&Mike]

amyy--glad your Mom is doing better.

 

[need2cruise]

I am fortunate that my family is healthy, but I am really sad this holiday season because my DH left me and my 2 DD's. He moved out yesterday and it has sucked all the holiday cheer right out of me.

Aww--I'm sorry to hear that. If you ever need an ear to vent on, just PM me and we can chat! Sometimes it helps just having someone you don't know to cry to! It's not always easy to rely on family/friends to tell the hard stuff to.

My BF died right before Christmas, intentionally. My friend thought it would be the end of things for her, it was just awful. But you know, in time the pain lessons, you pick up and you go on. You learn and you start finding the things that you have in life that matters. Hang in there, don't be afraid to cry, don't be afraid to yell and scream. Just stay true to yourself and your girls--let yourself have time to greive and then start working on the "new" you. I'll be praying for you and your girls---and I really mean what I said about PMing me if you need to talk!!

 

[dakcp2001]

hugs to all of you! The holidays are going to be tough this year for all of us!

 

[chrislove]

hugs

 

[karensi]

I lost my husband in Jan 2004 and my son last November ( the day after Thanksgiving).
I thought it was hard coping with the loss of my husband until I had to bear coping with the loss of my son.
It has really taken away something from the holidays. I have 2 DD's and 5 grandchildren, so I try to get into it, but its just not the same without my husband and son.
What I really find hard is listening to the Christmas music they play at work. Last year I mentioned to a co worker that the Christmas music really made me feel sad, as I had just lost my son the month before. She apparently told the others, and I then noticed that when I would come into work ( I just work 3 times/week) the Christmas music would be turned off. Sounds silly, I guess, but I really loved her for doing that for me.
Well, I worked last night, and a co worker put the Christmas music on, and again, it really made me sad. I won't say anything this year (can't be a scrooge all the time) but I really don't look forward to hearing Christmas songs for the next month.

Thanks for listening,

Karen

 

[stitch1986]

Holidays are bittersweet for me. This will be my third Christmas without my dad. It feels like every holiday season is painfully the same, yet completely different. I don't know if that makes sense.

I am the same way I got put on antidepressants 2 yrs ago because I missed my dad so much, he died feb 2002 but it is still hard for me due to I was extremely close to him and not having him I feel emptiness, and I know some ppl say you should of gotten over him by now and it hurts me that they think it is something I can get over quick. I was only 16 not even 2 weeks when he died but yes before I get over off topic I do get sad at the holidays

 

[IsZisIt]

Aww--I'm sorry to hear that. If you ever need an ear to vent on, just PM me and we can chat! Sometimes it helps just having someone you don't know to cry to! It's not always easy to rely on family/friends to tell the hard stuff to.

My BF died right before Christmas, intentionally. My friend thought it would be the end of things for her, it was just awful. But you know, in time the pain lessons, you pick up and you go on. You learn and you start finding the things that you have in life that matters. Hang in there, don't be afraid to cry, don't be afraid to yell and scream. Just stay true to yourself and your girls--let yourself have time to greive and then start working on the "new" you. I'll be praying for you and your girls---and I really mean what I said about PMing me if you need to talk!!

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[dumboiu]

Since losing my dear Mum last year, the holidays have not been the same. She loved the holidays, and so did I - but not-so-much anymore. I know I should try to be joyous and honor her memory, but honestly, I just can't do it yet. I still have a lot more grieving to do.

Often times, I get teary-eyed when I see decorations in the stores. I haven't gotten a tree as yet. I actually dread Christmas day. It just isn't the same. I do try to put on a happy face for DH and my kids, but I honestly don't feel in the spirit much. Neither does DH. It is so hard to lose someone you love so very much.

to everyone who is having a hard time this holiday season.

 

[tink_lover]

Update - my SIL's SIL died Monday night just about 10 weeks after finding out about the cancer. Never smoked. Had non-small cell lung cancer that metastasized. Mid-50's. So sad...

 

[Rose&Mike]

Tink Lover
I am so sorry.