Sadness during the Holidays

[clori]

My niece who turns 21 Saturday lost her 45 year old father in October. He wasn't a great husband and my sister got divorced about 19 years ago but he was a loving fathey. My niece did well Thanksgiving but never saw her father that day. Now she has her 21st birthday, father's birthday, Hanukkah and Christmas to get thru this month. She is having a rough time sleeping etc and her college grades which are usually all A/Bs are going downhill. My niece has two half siblings age 7&8 who are just starting to comprehend the finality of the situation.

 

[Evil Genius]

Hugs to all of you, it's difficult losing someone, but the holidays intensify it. I agree with the poster who said she can't listen to Christmas music. I'm the same way. I lost my sister, husband and mom within a 6 month span in 2007. Yeah I buck up and plaster the smile on my face, but there are alot of tears when I am home alone. I hope this thread makes people realize that they are not alone in their feelings.

 

[Tigger2252]

I am also having a difficult time with the holidays this year. My FIL died unexpectedly 3 days before Christmas last year. Then, on New Year's Eve my father fell in his driveway and, because he was on blood thinners suffered internal bleeding in his abdomen from the fall. He died 17 days later from infection. We had to have two wakes within two months.

My mother died nine years ago right after New Years Day. I was very close to my dad and my girls were as well. All of our holidays included him. I can't bear to even think about Christmas without him. Every time I do I just start to cry (like now). I have no desire to celebrate at all. My DH can't help because he feels just as bad about his dad. Our kids are older (22 & 16) and I can't even get any holiday cheer for them. I haven't put up the tree, and don't plan to. I don't have any presents for anyone, and I really would like to just sleep until after January 1st.

I hope by next year I will start to feel better....I used to love Christmas.

 

[Sukie]

Thanks for all of the posts. My mom died this past August. It is the little things that brings on the tears. to all.

 

[Tracy Savage]

This is our first holiday season without my Mom. I had a bad day today, and I'm sure that there will be more, but I try really hard to be positive and upbeat for my son and my Dad. plus my Mom would give me hell for moping around about her. Hugs for all, we will get thru this. They would want us to.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Holiday are rough. I feel so sad right now that I don't want to be here anymore. Life can be so cruel.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I am so sorry for your loss.

My sister's MIL has been diagnosed with cancer as a 4ish weeks ago. Currently she is at home with a visiting nurse recovering from a bowel incision. It is not going well.

My sister vents to me. It is very sad.

 

[MinnieTink]

I have been where some of you are. Sending hugs and prayers to you all.

 

[jx3smom]

This year is really tough on our family. I cry alot lately. My dad passed away on Dec. 3, MIL passed in June (only 67yo) from a massive stroke and I am going through chemo right now for breast cancer. It is so hard to get in the spirit.

 

[mickeyboat]

My FIL was diagnosed with stage IVB pancreatic cancer on Tuesday. Nothing is harder than watching your DH and DD9 holding on to one another sobbing. It's going to be a tough holiday.

 

[tink_lover]

Mickeyboat (and everyone else) - that's what my neighbor's mom just passed from - she was diagnosed with pancreatic stage VI 18 months ago. She found an aggressive oncologist and actually did very well with treatment. I talked to my friend (neighbor) a lot about it. She and her mom were extremely close. They had a lot of time to grieve this together and do some final things and say some final good byes and everything that needed to be said. Does that make sense? Blessings to all this season.

 

[mickeyboat]

Thank you tink_lover. It's amazing that your friend's mom got 18 months. We are not expecting that long, but whatever time we get will be cherished and used wisely.