SADDAM TO INSPECTORS: LOOK, OVER THERE, ITS HEIDI KLUM
Iraqi Leader Up To Old Tricks, Experts Say
The first day of Iraqi weapons inspections began on an inauspicious note today as President Saddam Hussein interrupted an inspection of a suspected bio-weapons factory by calling out, Hey look, over there, its Heidi Klum!
The U.N. inspectors were momentarily distracted from their work as they looked, per Saddams instructions, for Ms. Klum instead.
When it became clear that the prominent underwear model was in fact not on site, the Iraqi leader quickly shifted gears, calling for a lunch break and hustling the inspectors out.
According to former weapons inspection chief Richard Butler, the Heidi Klum ploy is classic Saddam.
Anytime we got close to finding anything, he would jump up and tell us that Heidi Klum was there, Mr. Butler said today. I cant believe hes still pulling that ****.
The current head of the U.N. team, Hans Blix, said that the Iraqi leader also delayed the inspection team for up to an hour in the morning by making fun of Mr. Blixs name.
According to Mr. Blix, Saddam facetiously accused him of being one of Santas reindeer and devoted a full forty-five minutes to lame wisecracks in a similar vein.
The inspectors frustration continued as they tried without success to find a piece of enriched uranium the approximate size of a pin which Saddam had hidden inside what the inspectors called a large stack of hay.
And their inspection of a munitions plant was interrupted after they were forced to chase a wild bird believed to have been released by Saddam.
The inspectors later described the wild bird as goose-like.
***Borowitz Reports***
Iraqi Leader Up To Old Tricks, Experts Say
The first day of Iraqi weapons inspections began on an inauspicious note today as President Saddam Hussein interrupted an inspection of a suspected bio-weapons factory by calling out, Hey look, over there, its Heidi Klum!
The U.N. inspectors were momentarily distracted from their work as they looked, per Saddams instructions, for Ms. Klum instead.
When it became clear that the prominent underwear model was in fact not on site, the Iraqi leader quickly shifted gears, calling for a lunch break and hustling the inspectors out.
According to former weapons inspection chief Richard Butler, the Heidi Klum ploy is classic Saddam.
Anytime we got close to finding anything, he would jump up and tell us that Heidi Klum was there, Mr. Butler said today. I cant believe hes still pulling that ****.
The current head of the U.N. team, Hans Blix, said that the Iraqi leader also delayed the inspection team for up to an hour in the morning by making fun of Mr. Blixs name.
According to Mr. Blix, Saddam facetiously accused him of being one of Santas reindeer and devoted a full forty-five minutes to lame wisecracks in a similar vein.
The inspectors frustration continued as they tried without success to find a piece of enriched uranium the approximate size of a pin which Saddam had hidden inside what the inspectors called a large stack of hay.
And their inspection of a munitions plant was interrupted after they were forced to chase a wild bird believed to have been released by Saddam.
The inspectors later described the wild bird as goose-like.
***Borowitz Reports***
. She's a gift to the..........WORLD
