sad post-honest opinions please

[Ceila]

I had asked a few days before what my mom wanted to do for mothers day, and she wanted to go out to eat

By asking your mom what she wanted to do, and then agreeing to go out to dinner as per her wishes, you basically extended an invitation. By doing so, you accepted the responsibility of paying. If I invite, I pay, unless other arrangements are made, which in your case they were not. I believe you were wrong in this case.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Go back and re-read the title of the thread--the OP asked for honest opinions. Just because you disagree with some does not make them wrong.

Any occasion or holiday can be a gift-giving occasion.

Some people are selfish or tightwads and look for any excuse to not give a gift to someone else.

Some people are generous in nature and spirit and give freely to others and expect nothing in return.

Some people can't afford to give a store bought gift so they looked for other ways to show their love and appreciation.

I can only guess what category some of the posters fall into by their responses.

If my adult children called me and invited me out for dinner on Mother's Day, I would expect them to pay for my meal because they issued the invitation and because it is MOTHER'S DAY.

That's how we (my family and friends) do it in my world.

I am just amazed that so many people think it's OK not to give your mother anything for Mother's Day, not even a lousy card. What can I tell you, to me that's really sad.

Well I think it is ODD that you NEED a card. I think it is exhausting to live your life like that.

And see already you are sad about someone ELSE not getting a card. Now that is sad.

 

[luvsJack]

I agree, that "need" for a card sure is giving a little piece of cardboard a whole lot of power in the amount of happiness you feel on that one day. (dd and I are all about how much power we give to things and people right now)

There is no written rule that says a gift must be given on Mother's day. Some kids just call home and that is enough (remember that episode of Golden Girls where they are each waiting by the phone?). Its a day to remember your mom and to honor her; not necessarily buy her things.

Families are together so little these days that most mothers just want that time with their children. Its really no different than the fact that children need time not things; same thing with moms.

 

[arminnie]

my dad calls and says something is on his mind...he saw the cards mom had gotten for mothers day and was wondering where mine was...very passive aggressively. Anyway...I wasnt gonna let him go there (he did the same thing when I didnt get her one once years ago) and told him...well...many things and didnt hold back.
.....

then hung up on him.

Here's the only thing I'm going to give you advice on:
Your father asked you a question. Whether it was passive/aggressive or not, a lot of this drama might have been avoided by simply saying "I didn't get one."

Getting mad, defensive, "not holding back", hanging up - well that really doesn't accomplish anything but to stress yourself out more. And it sounds like you don't need one tiny bit more of stress in your life.

Your father probably "baited" you - and unfortunately for you (not him) you bit. Verbally abusive people (as you said he was) often do something like this, and love to get others in a tizzy. Sounds like you and your mother are okay.

 

[luvdzny]

I have a different reaction to this post. It seems to me that the OP is looking for someone to feel sorry for her. She mentions her Special Needs son frequently and how hard it is to care for him. I know how hard it is having a special child to care for, my DD is chronically ill. I think the OP would benefit from a support group or some respite care for her son, it sounds as though she is overwhelmed with the situation.

 

[Robindianne]

Well I think it is ODD that you NEED a card. I think it is exhausting to live your life like that.

And see already you are sad about someone ELSE not getting a card. Now that is sad.

That!