Sad ... I HATE where I live. Anyone else?

[DMickey28]

I just have to "vent" I guess. I can't really talk to DH about this because he feels bad that his job is keeping us here for a few more years.

I HATE it here. Yes, Hate. I am so homesick for Chicago. I only lived there for 18 months but I LOVED it. I LOVED everything about it except that my family wasn't there. I would rather move back to Chicago than back to Boston.

I hate S. Florida. I hate the weather. I don't like a lot of the people. I dislike the general enviroment like the streets, the shopping plaza's, the trees etc. I hate that I can't leave my house between May and October because it's just toooooo darn hot. It's already 81 degrees and muggy as heck out there. I hate the months May through December, not only because of the weather but the holiday season down here just feels wrong. Give me cold weather for Jan through March anyday. 3-3.5 months of cold yucky weather when you can take a vacation to warm weather is a lot better than 8 months that I hate here.

I hate that holiday season is around the corner and it feels like it's the middle of July. I am going home December 13 for three weeks this year. I can't handle doing my Christmas shopping here, trying to get into the spirit listening to Christmas Carols with the A/C blasting in the car.

My DS is only 5.5 months old. It was too hot this summer, and still is, to bring him outside for any length of time. He's too young. No walking unless it's at 7am. No playing at the park, no swimming at the beach. We have been house bound practically since he was born. It's from the house to the car to the mall/store to the car to the house. By then I am sweating as is DS in his carseat. In my opinion it's 100000% worse than the cold of the winter.

I am honestly shocked by my feelings. I have ALWAYS wanted to live in Florida. I grew up on the beach and I love Summer. Florida is too excessive for me. I want to take DS outside in a fall outfit and take pictures of him in the leaves with pumpkins. Getting him dressed up and going to the picture store in the mall so he can get some fall pictures is just soooo Wrong.

There are good things about there but they don't override the bad for me. January through April are beautiful. The beach and water is wonderful. WDW is only 3 hours away. Our family comes to visit a lot more because it's nicer to visit here than Chicago. DH's job oppurtunities is amazing but I can't wait until it's over. We are thinking of going to St. Louis after this. DH doesn't want to go back to Chicago because it's just too cold for him. That's fine with me, I just want to go somewhere that has seasons, somewhere that I can wear jeans and a sweater. Try wearing jeans here and you will be cutting them off with scissors because they melted to you in the humidity.

Ok, sorry ... I had to get that off my chest. I was listening to some music that reminded me of living up there and I got all sad.

Thanks for listening. Does anyone else hate where they live? Is it temporary?

 

[AmazingGrace]

For the first year that I was in Mississippi, I HATED it!! We had a crappy house on base. the area seemed depressed and it was NOT Texas.
Slowly, I got used to it, then even grew to love it. So much so, that we bought a house with the intention of staying there. Then katrina hit and the Air force sent us back to Texas. I love Texas and really feel at home here, but I miss mississippi more than I ever thought possible.

 

[binny]

I am sorry. I have lived in places that I hated as well.
I know that its hard. Do you know how long you will be "stuck" there? If I knew I was only going to be somewhere for a set amount of time I just started marking off the days on a calendar. That helped me be more positive about it. KNowing I wasnt going to spend the rest of life somewhere I hated.

OTOH I hated living here for the first 5 years. I thought I would never want to stay here. Tuesday is our 10 year anniversary of moving here and now I dont want to live anywhere else.

Good luck! I know your pain.

 

[kellyg403]

I disliked where we lived when ex and I got stationed here. Just seemed like it was always hot and muggy and not a pretty place to be at all. Then we got divorced and I realized I could live here far better than I could live back home. So the kids and I stayed. Now, this is their hometown and actually it has grown on me as well. When I go back to the DC subarbs I can't believe that I actually drove in that traffic to my job everyday. Yeah, there are more things to do for the kids but there is something to be said for the laid back life we have here. So, I can certainly sympathize. I would say it took about 5 years for me to say "yeah, I like it just fine here!"

Kelly

 

[Mono~rail]

I don't like living in South Louisiana at all. We moved down here a year ago from N. Louisiana, and I just can't get used to it. I've made a few good friends, but overall I just don't like it here.

I loved our house that we had to sell to move down here, and that is what I miss the most. I miss the town we lived in. It was so quaint and friendly. Everyday I miss my old co-workers.

My special needs DD went to an awesome therapy clinic, and when we went there it felt like being at a family member's home. Down here, I've found a good speech therapist, but she isn't even getting OT and PT because there isn't anyone to give it. I just get sick everytime I think about it.

Dh doesn't like living here either, but he likes his new job. He's happier career wise here than he was where we used to live, but we both still mourn for our old house and our old town.

 

[rie'smom]

I lived in Telluride and hated it. The mountain was practically in my backyard. Gorgeous scenery, skiing whenever I wanted, great shopping, and nice restaurants but too darn cold. All of my life up to that point was spent in south Louisiana during school and Destin,FL in the summer. Telluride was too darn cold. OP, I know how you feel. When I moved home, I was so happy that I could have kissed a crawfish.

 

[HollyJoy]

I don't dislike where I live now, though there are other places I'd rather live. Maryland is so darn expensive, we are rather stuck where we are. Should we move, we probably wouldn't be able to afford to move back. With that said, I keep trying to convince DH to transfer down to Kennedy! I'd love to be near Disney

 

[DMickey28]

I am sorry. I have lived in places that I hated as well.
I know that its hard. Do you know how long you will be "stuck" there? If I knew I was only going to be somewhere for a set amount of time I just started marking off the days on a calendar. That helped me be more positive about it. KNowing I wasnt going to spend the rest of life somewhere I hated.

OTOH I hated living here for the first 5 years. I thought I would never want to stay here. Tuesday is our 10 year anniversary of moving here and now I dont want to live anywhere else.

Good luck! I know your pain.

We are here anywhere from the next year to another 3 years. That's another thing I struggle with, which has nothing to do with living here. We NEVER know, we are NEVER settled. I just want to settle down somewhere and not live for the next 6 months or the next 9 months and then we will see.

DH is working a job that he hates but it has an incrediable oppurtunity to secure our future. He is doing a great job at it and it's looking good but every day it's up and down. He is giving it 9 months to see how confident he feels about the end result. If he really feels in his gut that it's not going to pan out then we are going to leave, he has a plan for his next career move that I agree with. If we feel confident in the situation then he will continue on for the next few years until it's over. It's the not knowing that I hate too ... We came here for a chance, a chance that we along with our support network felt we couldn't not take. It has the potential to set up us for life and secure our future and the future of our children. Three years is a small price to pay for that in our minds.

Arghh ... that's a whole other thread in itself!!

Thanks for listening.

 

[KirstenB]

I"m sorry. FWIW, I think it's hard to live in a very hot or very cold place with a small child. In the winter, I'm grateful everyday that the temperature reaches above 45 degrees in the afternoon so dd and I can go outside. I grew up in the North, and as a parent, I have a very different outlook than that of a child. We kids loved living in Michigan, but looking back, Mom says she hated it. She said the entire winter seemed gray and cloudy to her. She felt trapped inside (with six kids, she always had a baby!).

I can easily imagine what you're saying about the heat. It sounds like you are trapped inside a lot of the year. Once your baby gets older, it'll probably be easier to go outside. You'll be sweating, but with a baby I was always worried, are they too hot? Will they dehydrate? Are they too cold? Could they get hypothermia?

My brother and his family live near Miami. He'll be stationed there probably 2 more years. He's a civil engineer, so he's working on a road project there. My SIL has a 6 yr old and an 8 mth old. I think she was okay with living down there with just her older son. She didn't like the heat, but he was old enough for her not to worry about him so much. I know with the baby, she feels much the same as you. I hope you enjoy going home for 3 weeks, that sounds great!

 

[jodifla]

We are here anywhere from the next year to another 3 years. That's another thing I struggle with, which has nothing to do with living here. We NEVER know, we are NEVER settled. I just want to settle down somewhere and not live for the next 6 months or the next 9 months and then we will see.

DH is working a job that he hates but it has an incrediable oppurtunity to secure our future. He is doing a great job at it and it's looking good but every day it's up and down. He is giving it 9 months to see how confident he feels about the end result. If he really feels in his gut that it's not going to pan out then we are going to leave, he has a plan for his next career move that I agree with. If we feel confident in the situation then he will continue on for the next few years until it's over. It's the not knowing that I hate too ... We came here for a chance, a chance that we along with our support network felt we couldn't not take. It has the potential to set up us for life and secure our future and the future of our children. Three years is a small price to pay for that in our minds.

Arghh ... that's a whole other thread in itself!!

Thanks for listening.

I think a lot of people feel as you do when they first move to Florida. Certainly a lot of people I hired couldn't make the transition and wanted to move home.

For someone such as yourself, who is only there a finite amount of time, my advice would be to enjoy the really good parts of Florida while you can....(by the way, you'll adjust to the heat, and will find you can enjoy the outdoors from about October through June, with only July, August and September being really really hot.)

But there a lot of neat things in Florida you can experience while it's only a car ride away, instead of a plane trip! Go to the Keys, go to the Everglades, hop on a cheap cruise out of Miami, see St. Augustine. Florida is chockful of neat places beyond the theme parks.

Take advantage of what's there while you're there.

For your child, I say: Do swimming lessons when you can! SoFla has really good swim facilities for infants in a way that the North does not. They mean business down there, and you can give the gift of swimming to your child for life! I was shocked at the difference in swmi programs when we moved out of SoFlorida. They were more like "rec" swimming programs taught by high schoolers, not real swimming classes taught by adult professionals who know all the tricks.

Good luck to you!

 

[JoBird]

I moved from Charleston SC where I had lived for 27 years to Rochester NY for a new job for DH.
At the same time, my Father was diagnosed with Cancer and given 3 months to live. So out of the top 5 stresses in life, I was dealing with three of the worst...supporting a husband and his new job, sickness and death of a loved one, and a move.

I hated my life. I had no friends there. Not one. I sat inside the house and watched the snow blow outside and cried and was miserable. Dh worked 18 hours a day, I had 2 young children and felt like no one could ever know what I was going through.

Then one day, I read this by Maya Angelou:

"Sister, there are people who went to sleep last night,
Poor and rich and black and white,
but they will never wake again.
Sister, those who expected to rise did not,
their beds became their cooling boards,
and their blankets became their winding sheets.
And those dead folks would give anything,
anything at all for just five minutes of this weather,
or ten minutes of that plowing that person was grumbling about.
So you watch yourself about complaining sister:
What you're supposed to do when you don't like a thing is change it.
If you can't change it,
change the way you think about it.
Don't complain."

I read it every day of the time I spent in Rochester, sometimes more than once. I put it on my refrigerator and would stand there, reading and crying.

We stayed there 3 years, and since then we have lived in Arkansas, and now, we are in Pittsburgh.
While I don't "love" any of these places I have been; I know that something else is around the corner for us. We hope against all hope to get back south again.


I've been where you are now, and I hope you can find peace and happiness there in Florida.

Good Luck to you.

Jo

 

[Mickeyluver37]

I felt the way you do when we lived in Upstate NY (Fort Drum area). Except we had the long winters that trapped us inside, not the hot summers. The culture was very different from what I was used to as well. There is NOTHING to do up there. People are different too. They didn't even have a Target when we lived there!

I am so glad to be back in MD. I it here. I feel like I relate to a lot more people here (more professionals), have made a lot more friends, can find plenty more to do on the weekends with my kids. We are between Baltimore/DC though, so the downside is we pay way too much for our happiness!

I have watched some of our old friends migrate to NC and buy McMansions. It's tempting, but I don't think I'd like living in the south. I think the only place in the country I'd rather live is Southern California, and we can't afford that either.

 

[CathrynRose]

I hated Florida. I had to move back to Chicago.

I took advantage of the time we had there to 'sight see'. Now when I travel to Florida, I stick to WDW (and sometimes UNI/IoA) Ive seen enough...

Im sorry youre feeling that way. I know how miserable it can be.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

DH and I lived in West Texas 7 years that we didn't like very much --- we just didn't fit in very well, the weather was terrible, and there was absolutely nothing to do except go roam the mall. I liked the people there well enough, but I was very happy to leave.

I've never had an urge to move to Florida. I think it is a wonderful place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

We dont like where we live either. We are originally from NJ. Moved to NY then to Texas for about 4 years and now back to NY. DH is hoping to retire very early in a few years if his dads inherited property sale goes through. We dont like the people here in NY mostly and the prices of everything are so high. I cried when we moved to Texas and I cried when we had to leave Texas and move back to NY. The people are so nice and friendly down there and the expenses of things are alot less. Our 3 ds will be having lives our their own and if they want to join us fine, but all other extended family relatives are mainly deceased so nothing is really holding us back to the area. We can see them or fly back if we have to. We both cant wait to get back to Texas. Having dreams of drinking ice tea by the swimming pool. Hang in there.!!

 

[JunieJay]

I love hot weather but would never live somewhere that didn't have a change of seasons. I feel for you.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

OP - I feel you. We moved from Chicago to Florida in 2001. Built a house in Tampa.

It was horrible - Tampa has limited museums, culture, seems like every restaurant is a chain. Educational system is poor. The whole thing gave me the creeps.

So we sold the house, moved to Chicago in 2004 and have never been happier!

So we visit Florida a bunch (my parents have a house in Punta Gorda), and go to Disney twice a year (3 more weeks!).

Florida is the BEST place to visit.... but I did not like living there.

 

[Briarmom]

Let's see, dh is military, and in the 9 1/2 years we've been married, we've lived in:

North Dakota (which is where I was raised, so I don't HATE it, but wouldn't want to live there)

Mississippi: HATED it. Still hate it. I am scared we will live there again...

Phoenix, AZ: I hated it because of the weather mostly

Fairbanks, Alaska: Loved the weather and the location, hated our house. Really missed out on a lot there...

Phoenix, AZ again: Really liked it this time. Great school, shopping, house....had a good life there.

Giannaclis, Egypt: Hell. Hell looks like this place. No no no.

Havay, Belgium: We are new, but there are good and bad things here. Lots of people hate it here, but we are so happy to be in civilization...

So yes, I have hated places I've lived and it sucks. I hope you find peace soon.

 

[DMickey28]

DH was brought up in a military family and has lived all over as well. We have decided that we Midwesterners at heart and want a moderate climate. Well, I'd be happy back in Chicago but as a compromise I will take more moderate for DH.

Thank you for posting that by Maya Angelou, it hits home. I know I have it good and I know that things will change again. Sometimes it's hard to get out of your everyday pout!

Thanks for the other stories. It's interesting how everyone has a different utopia!

 

[holycow]

I feel your pain.

We just moved from FL. 18months ago. I've never been happier!~ DH is missing Fl. sigh....

We lived there for 7 yrs. and as I look back I say make the best of it. I like to do what I call 'exploring'. I know you have an 5mon. old (congrat!) but get out and explore. Put a backpack on..put the baby in and go for a walk on the beach. (that was my fav. thing to do...I really miss it.)

Good luck...Like I said I feel your pain I remember it so well!