Sad for my husband (20+ year friendship down the drain)

[MushyMushy]

My husband's been friends with this guy since their teen years, but at some point this guy just never grew up. He decided to become a full-time musician, which meant to him that he couldn't work any other job. Therefore, he's a broke full-time musician.

Over the years he and my husband would re-establish contact, this guy would ask for money (which we couldn't provide), then they would drift away again. This past year, they've been getting close again, although this guy asked for money 4 different times. The last time was the last straw for my husband (finally!) and he told the guy that maybe they just needed a final break.

What gets my husband (and me) the most is that this guy keeps going on and on about how "hard" he works, but can't get ahead. You know, my husband is a talented musician in his own right, and we know plenty of musicians who know that they have to work day jobs in order to support themselves to continue to play 3-4 gigs every week! This guy refuses to even take on part-time or seasonal work to bring in a little cash.

Now this guy is posting all over Facebook looking for sympathy, acting like such a victim in all this.

It's easy for those of us on the outside to believe that this break was good and a long time in coming! But my poor hubby is really hurting over it. I just don't know what to do for him other than to try to cheer him up and let him know I think he did the right thing.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It's easy for those of us on the outside to believe that this break was good and a long time in coming! But my poor hubby is really hurting over it. I just don't know what to do for him other than to try to cheer him up and let him know I think he did the right thing.

Yep that is me. You are intutitive.

Honestly your husband is mourning the loss of an "image" of a friend. The real guy is someone your husband does not know. That is the harder part of it. He probably feels betrayed.

Just lots of hugs and say little.

 

[diznygirl]

Oh goodness, sounds exactly like my little brother. Can't get a job, he has a job. Then why is he always broke? And we are all horrible for not supporting him.

Mystery Machine is right - it's an image, it's not reality. The reality is that we are better off without energy-suckers like this in our lives.

 

[MushyMushy]

I think "image" of a friendship is a perfect way to describe it. Plus it's a little bit of living in the past and mourning what this guy used to be. Although I can sympathize with my husband, I never knew this guy to be anything but what he is now.

I just have a hard time understanding how he can live with himself going around asking people for money like he does! I mean, I *might* do it if it meant keeping my kids fed or off the street, but that would be completely unthinkable.

 

[angie@dvcstore]

It's like if your broke get a job so you can support yourself in the meantime, i tell ya people just don't learn

 

[Disneyrsh]

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[PatsGirl]

No kidding...I can't believe how much trouble people get into online It's like they never leave their houses and if they did, they'd get in trouble then too!