S/O Travelling without your spouse

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by disykat, May 15, 2018.

  1. Gumbo4x4

    Gumbo4x4 Note to the ladies who forgot to

    Jan 19, 2012
    With the kids, it’s always both of us. But, we’ve also taken trips completely apart from the rest of the family. DW has done many weekend lake trips with girlfriends, and I’ve done a couple myself along with the occasional hunting trip. And we’ve mixed in some kid free trips for just the 2 of us.
  2. Colleen27

    Colleen27 DIS Veteran

    Mar 31, 2007
    I travel without my husband a lot, partly because he doesn't love to travel the way I do and partly because he has less time available to take. We're both okay with that now but getting there took time because DH doesn't value travel as highly as I do and sometimes saw it as me "wasting money", and I didn't like traveling without him as much when it involved wrangling three kids solo. Now that the youngest is 9, I'll happily take off with any or all of the kids in any combination and there's no stress to it, but when it was a toddler and two tweens... Yikes!

    I do wish my husband was more open to travel. There are a lot of adventures we used to talk about when we were younger that he's since decided are too much for whatever reason - too long a drive, too long a flight (he hates the idea of trans-oceanic flights), too foreign, too much time away from home, etc. I suspect when the kids are no longer at home and asking him to come along, he'll become even more resistant. It isn't a deal-breaker because he doesn't want me to stay home to humor his preferences and I don't plan to let it stop me from going places, but I would prefer if I could share those trips with him.
    Last edited: May 16, 2018
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  4. MamaBelle4

    MamaBelle4 DIS Veteran

    Feb 29, 2016
    Since we've been married we've not travelled apart from each other except when I had to travel for work.

    I wouldn't necessarily be against it, and if he didn't want to go somewhere, I'd either go alone or with a sibling/friend. But we are pretty similar in what we like, so that's not really an issue with us.
  5. gillep

    gillep DIS Veteran

    Oct 12, 2009
    My husband and I both travel for work and he works really long hours so I prefer to vacation together, and use that as our time to reconnect. That said, neither one of us has an issue traveling without the other. My husband goes camping or to a running event with his friends every year or so, and my friend and I go to DL for a long weekend every year for the Halloween festivities.
  6. waltonmkb

    waltonmkb Mouseketeer

    May 2, 2011
    My husband and I do all combinations. He goes on trips alone, I go on trips alone, our son and I go on trips without my husband, we go on trips as a family, and my husband and I go on trips together without our son.
  7. scrhsa

    scrhsa DIS Veteran

    Apr 14, 2014
    Being that my husband was in the Coast Guard, I traveled without him quite a bit. Mostly just home to visit family. I do still travel without him some. I know he doesn't like it so I try not to go too often. Poor guy, I'm taking the girls and we'll be gone for 2 weeks next month. Going to spend a week dog sitting for my sister and then we are going to head to Fla. to visit my oldest and take a day for Disney. I'll be going by myself in Oct. when the oldest's baby is born too. Hopefully he will be able to get some time and meet me there. A lot of the time, he doesn't like where we go(even just day trips) so, tuff nuggies buddy, you get to stay home. But I refuse to here him then complain about not going places with us!
  8. Jennasis

    Jennasis DIS life goes on

    Jun 11, 2000
    Separate vacations? No. We enjoy each other's company far too much and would never enjoy a vacation without each other. We have taken many non-vacation trips without one another. He's away on business right now and in two weeks Im going to visit my family for a baby shower without him.
    Klayfish and dotfurio like this.
  9. dotfurio

    dotfurio DIS Veteran

    May 22, 2014
    We've always traveled together outside of a couple work trips he's gone on. I don't think I'd like traveling alone or even with friends, really.
  10. loves to dive

    loves to dive DIS Veteran

    Aug 21, 2011
    My honey hates travelling except to dive, I love to travel so I go without him. When my mother was alive she would go with me, my adult son goes with me if he can schedule it, otherwise I go solo. I actually prefer to travel by myself every once in awhile, I just need the alone time. Honey enjoys the time I'm gone, he can lay around and not do anything and just be a man.
    disykat likes this.
  11. nicolita3

    nicolita3 DIS Veteran

    Sep 1, 2006
    My DH hates going to Disney and I respect that so my mom and I will go together .
    disykat likes this.
  12. disykat

    disykat DIS Veteran

    Jun 5, 2000
    The people I know that travel separately are usually when one of the couple has no desire to go overseas, so they plan a trip with a friend. It's really not about not wanting to be together. It's simply that one doesn't enjoy that kind of travel and the other really wants to go.

    I've also known men that take an annual hunting trip and the wives have no desire to go, so their wives plan an annual trip with a friend or family member someplace they like but know their husband wouldn't be particularly keen on.

    I was very happy that DH ended up liking to travel, but it was in no way a deal breaker for me when he didn't want to because I knew I could always do it without him.
    ols386, Gumbo4x4 and wenrob like this.
  13. AuntieMe3

    AuntieMe3 Mouseketeer

    Dec 12, 2016
    We take lots of trips separately...I go with our daughter, friends, by myself. :thumbsup2 He only goes with our daughter or other family members(bro/BIL or my dad, even) because that's who he's most comfortable with. He wouldn't go by himself because he enjoys being around other people.
    Last edited: May 15, 2018
  14. quandrea

    quandrea DIS Veteran

    Jun 24, 2010
    I’ve traveled with just the kids and dh has stayed home. Twice when we’ve got to WDW with friends, once with o my eldest daughter and in August, I’ll take all three to WDW. Too hot for dh. Five days is my limit. Miss him too much. Most travel is as a family. No desire to do girls trips.
  15. ols386

    ols386 I want to live at Disney World!!

    Jan 29, 2008
    We’ve traveled separately. I’ve gone with friends (without dh), to WDW several times. He goes on fishing trips without me, because I’m not into fishing. Occasionally we travel together. We are ok with traveling separately.
  16. ronandannette

    ronandannette I gave myself this tag and I "Like" myself too!

    May 4, 2006
    This is us too. Honestly, I'd LOVE to travel by myself, or stay home alone while he did because I'm an extreme introvert and would find the solitude of either scenario to be very "restorative". I don't really have the heart to press for it though. DH would never deny me anything I felt I needed but I know he'd feel left out if I planned something for myself expressly to exclude him. We've also got a finite budget for vacations and of course we get the best economy-of-scale by going together.
    Micca likes this.
  17. crazylady

    crazylady DIS Veteran

    Apr 22, 2012
    My husband doesn't love to travel so the kids and I do travel without him. I also periodically go on girl's trips with my friends or family. He is ok with both. I'd hate for him to use his vacation time for something he really didn't want to do. Often our trips without him are to visit my relatives.
  18. mousefan73

    mousefan73 DIS Veteran

    May 9, 2012
    I travel tons without my DH and leave the kids with him. But for him it’s no surprise, this was clear when we first met. I have family and friends all over the world. I do a girl‘s trip yearly with my mom to london. Also WDW is also a trip with me, kids and mom. DH goes a few times but I have to beg/ drag him.

    As a family we travel though often in the year.

    Now my SIL is a different story. But they are older 75/65. attached at hip. Her DH is her third child. She has a best friend who begsnher to go on trips. She won‘t. Sad IMO. Her life.
  19. jdb in AZ

    jdb in AZ It could end up curdled

    Feb 11, 2011
    DH has traveled to guitar player retreats, and I've gone to fiber arts seminars on both coasts. We would be absolutely miserable if we attended each other's getaways. I've also traveled out of state to help DD with new babies. DH joins us in time for the christening.
    Micca likes this.
  20. bobbiwoz

    bobbiwoz I'm happy to dance with you!

    Aug 26, 2003
    He wants to go to Yellowstone one winter, and that does not appeal to me at all. So far, he has not found anyone to join him. I hope he eventually does find someone or maybe he joins a group.

    I do travel without him, mostly girl trips to Disney, or maybe a girls cruise.
  21. Klayfish

    Klayfish DIS Veteran

    May 19, 2016
    I travel by myself for work or my racing hobby.

    However, I would never travel as in a vacation or a getaway without her. No way, no how.

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