s/o rsvp thread--what if it was reversed

[ksjayhawks]

Curious to see how people would respond if the situation had been reversed. What if marymom came to the board and stated the following:

I am furious at amymom because my daughter is not going to be able to attend amymom daughter's birthday party at the bowling alley. The party is this Saturday and the RSVP date was 7 days ago. I called amymom today, Wednesday, to say my daughter would attend and to ask if she could take my daughter with her to the party. Imagine how shocked and angry I was when amymom said that she was sorry, but she had to turn a number in to the bowling alley on Sunday and it was too late to add daughter to the number. How can she do that to my child? She will be so sad that she missed the party. Honestly, it is just one more child, it won't cost that much, how could that be a problem?

How would you respond in this scenario versus the one in the original rsvp thread???

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Well, I am a man, so you don't say things like that to me unless you are ready to hear me say that you are a nutter and need to re-examine your sense of entitlement...

 

[themilesfamily]

I think DISboarders are pretty honest and would tell it like it is.

Marymom would be "gently" corrected.

 

[hereyago]

Tough cookies toots!

 

[freckles and boo]

It is all in the attitude. When people get indignant and self-righteous, no matter what side they are on, they lose my sympathy.

 

[PaulaSue]

Why would you be mad at another mom for your fought? You know most places have to turn in guest numbers early and you are very rude to think the rules don't apply to you.

 

[mjkacmom]

Or, how about:

I'm so mad at myself and sad for dd8. I received a birthday invitation from our neighbor, and as I opened it to get her number, realized that the RSVP date was 4 days ago, even though the party isn't until this Saturday. I called immediately, to see if it was too late, and she said yes, that she had already invited someone else. I guess I should've checked the invitation more closely when I received it, not remembering there was an RSVP date, and not realizing she needed to know the numbers more than a week in advance.

 

[MM27]

People would respond by saying how horrible it is that the child isn't being allowed to attend the party and they should make sure to take their child out for a fun day so they can forget about that horrible mother that refused to let the adorable, well behaved, gifted child attend the bowling party.

 

[laurie31]

Or, how about:

I'm so mad at myself and sad for dd8. I received a birthday invitation from our neighbor, and as I opened it to get her number, realized that the RSVP date was 4 days ago, even though the party isn't until this Saturday. I called immediately, to see if it was too late, and she said yes, that she had already invited someone else. I guess I should've checked the invitation more closely when I received it, not remembering there was an RSVP date, and not realizing she needed to know the numbers more than a week in advance.

This part would make me sympathetic to the late RSVP-ing mom, but you forgot the transportation part.

"And my car is in the shop, so I have no way to bring my DD to the party or pick her up but since we live right down the street, I thought it would be no big deal for the party girl's mom to swing by and pick up my DD on the way to the party and drop her off on the way home. But she says there's no room in her car. Can't she find someone else to drive my DD for me?"

If the party mom had room, maybe, but I can't see taking another car for the SOLE purpose of bringing a guest to the party.

If this were a real post, I would suggest to the OP that she try to find another party guest for her DD to carpool with. (if her DD can still attend the party).

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I would have responded the same way. I do often RSVP late and I would never presume a slot to be held. I have done so on accident or due to misplanning or due to a schedule change. None of this is the fault of the host/hostess.

And if I didn't get points--I would tell mom to suck it up and stop treating her child like a delicate snowflake over her lack of common courtesy.

I RSVP'd late (quite late_ a couple of weeks ago). Before I called, I let my kids know that I goofed and had not RSVP'd by the proper date. They were bummed, but I made it very clear that it was MY fault. In the end it was fine.

I didn't set them up with false hopes nor did I expect that mother to take the fall for my error.

There is absolutely zero excuse for anyone to expect their RSVP to be honored when it is late REGARDLESS of reason. And if I'm the moron, I don't expect host mom to have sympathy.

Sure their can be exceptions where a good hostess might try to have some understanding (say a death in the family or something else truly beyond your control)--but you still shouldn't expect it.

 

[disykat]

Either way I would still maintain that she missed the RSVP date. Too bad, but her own error.

 

[jazzielady]

Honestly, I don't think it's that big of a deal, either way. Having hosted, and my dd's having been invited to, various types of b/d parties, most party places have flexibility in their numbers. They don't care if one or two more kids show up, they make more money. In my experience, they set a minimum number of kids, rather than hold a parent to an exact number.

I just think that party venues understand the fluidity of a list of invitees.



Again, this is just my experience, and maybe it's different in different parts of the country.

 

[NikitaZee]

If a mom came on here upset with herself for forgetting to RSVP on time, and her daughter was missing the party due to her own error, I'd be sympathetic and suggest a nice afternoon doing something special together. If she posted on here that she was upset that the other mother wasn't accomodating her daughter due to the late RSVP, I'd tell her that she should blame no one but herself - apologize to her daughter for forgetting the RSVP date - and to drop her sense of entitlement.

 

[C.Ann]

If she posted on here that she was upset that the other mother wasn't accomodating her daughter due to the late RSVP, I'd tell her that she should blame no one but herself - apologize to her daughter for forgetting the RSVP date.

This - especially when numbers have to be turned in by a certain date..