S/O - Have you ever got into an argument with another parent at the playground?

[Magpie]

The "playground toys are/aren't for sharing" thread got me wondering about this.

Have you ever actually argued with another parent at the playground?

I can think of one time. I was watching my kids at the pool one summer when my son was three and my daughter five.

Off on the other side of the pool was a mother, smoking and talking to her friends. Every now and then she'd call to her son (who looked to be about 5), "Get out of the pool! We got to go!" He'd ignore her, and she'd shrug and go back to talking to her friends.

Her son, for some reason, got up into my son's face. My boy may have been just three, but he was a big, solid kid. The older boy was shorter and skinnier than him. The water came up to their waists. After a few brief moments of this kid shouting at him, my son shoved him hard and the boy sat down in the water.

The kid's reaction was remarkable. He bounced up like he was on springs, and began slugging my son like a very tiny, ineffectual boxer. My boy was so startled, he just stood there with a perplexed expression on his face. It was actually hilarious.

I stood up to wade in and grab my son, when the mother begins to yell at me that my little thug had touched hers' first and tried to drown him. I just rolled my eyes at her, thinking, "Seriously, lady?" and collected my boy. She, on the other hand, couldn't stand to have water touch her delicate not-so-little toes, so she continued to sit on her rear and yell at her boy, who continued to ignore her and do as he pleased.

I told my son to stay away from that kid, and please don't push people in the pool, and then sent him off to play on the swings. Which he was amenable to, still seeming to be entirely confused as to what had just happened.

And that's it! Not much of a conflict. Mainly just notable for the other mum's complete lack of interest in actually parenting her offspring.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

No I haven't. I did follow two kids to their house after they kept pushing my son off of his bike in front of our house. They were about 10-11 and pretty big kids and my son was 6. I gave them a piece of my mind. Their front door was open and their mother never came out side and I was pretty loud. A neighbor came out and thanked me for telling them something because, according to her, they were out of control and no one does anything.

 

[Klayfish]

Playground, no. Sports field, sure. It happens sometimes. DS9 is a physical player, both in football and lacrosse. He's not afraid to knock someone on their rear, and hits really hard. He knocked another kid over in a lacrosse game (and took the ball from him). Parent from the other team started yelling at the ref. I didn't say anything, I just sat there smirking. He kept on going on, then yelled "Get that goon out of the game". I looked over at him and said "That 'goon' is my son. Have an issue, then don't let your kid play lacrosse". We exchanged a few words and I just stared him down until he stopped talking.

Even parents on the same team argue sometimes. Happens on our football teams from time to time. No actual fights, but a few arguments here and there. Words are exchanged, then everyone moves on...and often at the end of practice they shake hands and laugh about it. On the football team, you sort of become "family" and families argue sometimes.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

At a baseball game there was a boy, about 7 or 8, sitting behind us who kept spitting things our way. Sunflower seeds, pieces of his straw, etc. His oblivious mom was chatting annoyingly on her phone the whole time. Eventually, one of his spit objects landed in my $5 lemonade (that park didn't have lids for some reason). I was pretty mad about it, so I turned around and told the kid to stop spitting, as his objects were landing on me and in my drink. Well, finally, his mother decided she could pause her conversation, and went off on me for saying something to her snowflake. She's lucky I was 6 months pregnant at the time or my drink would have been on her head.

 

[MamaBelle4]

Not another parent, but only because I didn't know who was the parent.

We were at McDonald''s playplace. My brother had JUST adopted a sweet 7 year old boy and we had all the kids together. My DD6 came over to her aunt and told her someone was hitting her son (who was 3). Aunt didn't believe her, but I did. Then new nephew came over to my brother and sister in law nearly crying. The same little .... was calling him bad names.

I had had enough. I tore up the equipment and at the top "announced" to the kids that there was no reason to be mean to others and if it continues I would be finding their parents and letting them know what they're doing.

The bullies chose my nephew with developmental issues and my new nephew with diabetes who is a bit behind as well because of his upbringing. I wasn't going to stand for it.

 

[justussix]

I coached my son in a coach pitch youth baseball league, probably 1st or 2nd grade. He was a big kid and we practiced a fair amount just the two of us. I could throw a little heat his way and he'd T off on it. Real good hitter. When my son came up to bat in games, I'd back up an throw it in there, because I knew he could hit it. The other team provided the catcher, of course, so I would talk the coach and catcher (who was there only to make plays at the plate, not actually catch my pitches) and let them know I'd be throwing a little harder to this batter. They were fine with it, and would back out of the way letting the pitches go to the backstop. Keep in mind, this is the age where the coach usually kneels about 15 - 20 ft from the plate and soft tosses. I was backing up to 40 ft and pitching with a normal overhand motions

Anyway, my son comes up to bat, and I throw a noticeably harder pitch to him. He missed that one. Some lady in the crowd, no idea who, but clearly didn't know it was my kid, yells out, "DON'T THROW SO HARD, THEY'RE JUST KIDS!!!" I smile and fire the next one in, and my son crushes it. We had a good laugh about that after the game. She never confronted my on the sidelines though.

 

[luvsJack]

Not at the playground but at a ball field. Older son was playing ball. Younger son had gone to the concession stand to get drinks for me and him and he bought a whistle. He was coming back to our seats, carrying the drinks and had the whistle in his mouth. There was a group of boys in the tunnel under the stands. Now he may have been blowing the whistle (and it would have echoed in there) or he may not have been, I don't really know but the boys jumped on him. Another team parent's dd came and got me and I went to investigate. Of course the boys had taken off. So, I got the girl (ds wouldn't) to point them out and of course by that time they were all sitting with one boy's mom. So I went to her and told her what happened. She began to tell me how it wasn't her responsibility because only one of the boys was hers and she didn't think he did anything but she admitted that the other two boys came to the ball field with her. We didn't technically argue but I told her that since the boys were with her that yes, they were her responsibility and that they owed my son two drinks and an apology. She started having a fit that they didn't have money and she wasn't paying for something that wasn't her responsibility. I just kept saying "but you brought them with you, you should be supervising them". By this time the girl had gone to get one of the coaches of the league and he came over and told the boys they needed to sit with the mom the whole time they were there and that fighting at the field would not be tolerated. He never said a word to her. At that point I just went back to my seat and watched the game. And she kept them right beside her the rest of the time she was there. (I thought later that her younger son may have been on this coach's team and that's what got their attention)

I did notice through the season that if she ever brought those other two boys again, they stayed out of sight.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Not at the playground. Parents can be completely irrational when it comes to their kid's behavior. I'm not about to get into anything with a stranger, it's just not worth the aggravation.
In the neighbourhood or with people I know? Yes.

 

[georgina]

As with many of the other responses, our incident was at a game with a parent from our team. There is one obnoxious dad who yells at his daughter the whole game. When he started yelling at my DD by name I told him to stop yelling at my kid. He was offended but did stop. One of the reasons my DS stopped playing soccer was he didn't like parents on the sidelines yelling at him

 

[wenrob]

Not at the playground, no. Being the Team Mom of DD's soccer team, I've diffused many, many situations with parents and coaches including tossing parents from a game and separating coaches who have nearly come to blows. I'm small but mighty and if you put me in charge I will be assertive if you decide to be a *nickname for Richard* in front of little kids you're supposed to be setting an example for. Once both of our coaches were out and I had to coach a game. A couple of dads who would never even dare to question the regular coaches decided this was the time to go full on anarchy and coach their girls themselves even trying to call time outs. I guess they thought I'd be a pushover without the coaches to back me up. I pulled their girls until they could act like adults and not grade school bullies.

 

[wenrob]

As with many of the other responses, our incident was at a game with a parent from our team. There is one obnoxious dad who yells at his daughter the whole game. When he started yelling at my DD by name I told him to stop yelling at my kid. He was offended but did stop. One of the reasons my DS stopped playing soccer was he didn't like parents on the sidelines yelling at him

This was against league rules when my DD played and usually the source of having to toss a parent from the game. If those of us in charge did not get a handle on it the refs would call the game. That only happened once in my ten seasons and that dad was banned from games after that. The league would have 'Silent Saturday' and it was by far the girls favorite game of the season. No yelling, cheering, clapping etc. Even the coaches couldn't speak except for timeouts and switching girls.

 

[katie01]

This was against league rules when my DD played and usually the source of having to toss a parent from the game. If those of us in charge did not get a handle on it the refs would call the game. That only happened once in my ten seasons and that dad was banned from games after that. The league would have 'Silent Saturday' and it was by far the girls favorite game of the season. No yelling, cheering, clapping etc. Even the coaches couldn't speak except for timeouts and switching girls.

This is why I enjoy going to my DS's tennis matches. It's a quiet sport, no sideline coaching allowed

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I did get mouthy with our team mom once. Her son was on the team. They were about 8 or so. Her son was a very hands on playing kid. It's how he "played." He was borderline a bully at times. Pushing, shoving, tripping as part of playing. He would also get in your face to talk loudly or laugh loudly. Anyway he did something to my son and my son punched him in the nose. The mom came to me and told me that if my son hit a kid again he would have to leave. I told her that her son put his hands on my son first and my son retaliated and if she told her son to keep his hands off of him it wouldn't happen again. All is well now because my son is friends with him to this day but she was stunned when I gave her my response.

 

[bcla]

I don't know if I've gotten into an argument on the playground, but I have had to deal with playgrounds where toys have been left there and are essentially up for grabs. Since it's nobody's property any more, kids will argue over who gets to play with them and parents often need to intervene. It gets really tricky when it's just strangers on a playground. Often I'll just tell me kid to let the other kid have it because you never know when another parent will get defensive about it.

I have dealt with some issues when other parents yelled at me. Once it was at a fast food place where there was maybe a 1 year old (seemed to be learning how to walk) who was left to wander around. There was nothing intentional on my kid's part when walking by, but the kid was brushed, fell back, and bumped his head into a chair. The kid started crying and dad was yelling at me to watch my kid. I said nothing, but they were basically ignoring their kid was doing up to the point where he started crying.

 

[Branflakes]

When my boys were 3&6, we were T the zoo having a picnic at the play area. They had these echo funnels that went Into the ground, and if you spoke loudly into them, someone on the other side could hear you in their funnel.
So my then 3 year old is standing at one 6 year old across the playground at the other. An older kid, 12 with a few kids that were in a group with parents walking by, moved my older son out of the way, basically just pushed him aside, not a shove just enough to make him move and yelled into the funnel hey you little f***er. And then laughed with his otherwise immature friends. In about one flat second I was across the playground, i asked him how old he was, he said 12! I told he was a real jerk for what he said and if I at any time ever see him put his hands on my kid i'll have him arrested for assault. Basically trying to get his attention. He laughed in my face. So I hollered to the group of adults, that were about 20 feet away or so "who does this one belong to?" A mother said his name is Kellen, he is my son. I told her what he had done and that I didn't appreciate it, and further he should be mature enough not to behave like that.
This woman flat out told me to go F myself. I said back to her, ahhh I see now why "Kellen" behaves the way he does, he is a foul mouthed adolescent of a foul mouthed mother. And to keep her son away from the playground and from touching or bothering mine or anyone else's kid. I pointed to the sign that indicated it was a playground intended for kids under 10.
Well, she then said don't worry, he won't be bothering your retards! That's when several other parents at the playground, stood up and got involved, a few who had special needs kids AT the playground.
In the end, security showed up and escorted them out of the zoo. My girlfriends and I still talk about this to this day. And it was almost 18 years ago.
I wasn't trying to get into a fight in front of my kids, but I wouldn't have hesitated to defend myself had it come to that.

 

[DawnM]

I don't know if I've gotten into an argument on the playground, but I have had to deal with playgrounds where toys have been left there and are essentially up for grabs. Since it's nobody's property any more, kids will argue over who gets to play with them and parents often need to intervene. It gets really tricky when it's just strangers on a playground. Often I'll just tell me kid to let the other kid have it because you never know when another parent will get defensive about it.

I have dealt with some issues when other parents yelled at me. Once it was at a fast food place where there was maybe a 1 year old (seemed to be learning how to walk) who was left to wander around. There was nothing intentional on my kid's part when walking by, but the kid was brushed, fell back, and bumped his head into a chair. The kid started crying and dad was yelling at me to watch my kid. I said nothing, but they were basically ignoring their kid was doing up to the point where he started crying.

You reminded me. Once we were at Chick Fil A and this kid, probably all of 2 or 3 was wandering around by himself. It was very crowded in there and no one was looking for him! He crawled right up on my chair next to me and started playing with my hair and grabbing for my food.

I walked him, by hand, all the way around the restaurant but no one looked or said anything.

I brought him back to our table and at that point a restaurant employee came over and asked if he was ours. I said No, and that I had just walked him around to look for his family. The employee then told us the kid had been wandering for a while and took the kid and walked around some more. Apparently the parents were in a corner way off, and they weren't looking or worried at all. They seemed shocked that it was a problem!

That poor kid.

 

[bcla]

You reminded me. Once we were at Chick Fil A and this kid, probably all of 2 or 3 was wandering around by himself. It was very crowded in there and no one was looking for him! He crawled right up on my chair next to me and started playing with my hair and grabbing for my food.

I walked him, by hand, all the way around the restaurant but no one looked or said anything.

I brought him back to our table and at that point a restaurant employee came over and asked if he was ours. I said No, and that I had just walked him around to look for his family. The employee then told us the kid had been wandering for a while and took the kid and walked around some more. Apparently the parents were in a corner way off, and they weren't looking or worried at all. They seemed shocked that it was a problem!

That poor kid.

Well - in my case the kid was right next to the parents, but they didn't seem to be all that concerned that a beginning walker was standing in an area with lots of hard objects. At that age my kid was at home in a blocked off area or in a portable playyard. Away from home maybe we allow playing in a wide open space like a sandbox or a grass field. At a restaurant it would be still in an infant seat or stroller.

 

[Magpie]

Well - in my case the kid was right next to the parents, but they didn't seem to be all that concerned that a beginning walker was standing in an area with lots of hard objects. At that age my kid was at home in a blocked off area or in a portable playyard. Away from home maybe we allow playing in a wide open space like a sandbox or a grass field. At a restaurant it would be still in an infant seat or stroller.

While I don't think the father should have yelled at you, I also don't think toddlers should have to be confined to car seats or strollers when out in public. Particularly if the parents are right there, as you said. When my two were just beginning to walk, we did let them stand on their own two pins whenever possible. I never worried about "hard objects". My own home was full of hard objects (IKEA furniture and a floor that was basically just thin carpet over poured concrete), and we just took the bumps in stride. And yes, there were a lot of bumps. Fortunately, kids bounce.

I might have been a bit annoyed if your child knocked my child over, especially if it seemed to be because he wasn't looking where he was going (versus, say, my kid running into him). But I would have likely been more interested in comforting my own child, than taking it up with you. With my own kids, I taught them that - regardless of intent - we're always responsible if our actions (however innocent!) lead to someone else getting hurt. If either of my kids had knocked a toddler over, they would have been expected to stop, apologize and make sure the little guy was okay.

 

[bcla]

While I don't think the father should have yelled at you, I also don't think toddlers should have to be confined to car seats or strollers when out in public. Particularly if the parents are right there, as you said. When my two were just beginning to walk, we did let them stand on their own two pins whenever possible. I never worried about "hard objects". My own home was full of hard objects (IKEA furniture and a floor that was basically just thin carpet over poured concrete), and we just took the bumps in stride. And yes, there were a lot of bumps. Fortunately, kids bounce.

I might have been a bit annoyed if your child knocked my child over, especially if it seemed to be because he wasn't looking where he was going (versus, say, my kid running into him). But I would have likely been more interested in comforting my own child, than taking it up with you. With my own kids, I taught them that - regardless of intent - we're always responsible if our actions (however innocent!) lead to someone else getting hurt. If either of my kids had knocked a toddler over, they would have been expected to stop, apologize and make sure the little guy was okay.

Well - my issue was that my kid wasn't being particularly careless. It was a public area and their kid just ended up with a bump into an object that happens to all kids. If something similar had happened to my kid at about the same age I certainly wouldn't have snapped at another parent. I'm pretty sure I would have said something like "don't worry about it" and I would have attended to my kid.

If anything, those parents looked like they were really stressed out about something. They were really young too. Still - I've never really been anyone to try to blame someone else if something happened to my kid short of something intentionally malicious, and I have a difficult time understanding why someone else is so quick to point fingers.

 

[Wendy31]

Long Back Story -

We were at an away Swim Meet last summer.

The rectangle pool w/ the lanes in which the kids were competing was connected to a smaller & shallower square pool. The only thing separating the two areas was a rope.

It was hot, &, as you can imagine, in between times the kids were swimming their heats, they were in that smaller pool. Well, the kids in the smaller pool were causing too much wave-action & ripples for the kids who were swimming heats. Additionally, there was no lifeguard watching the smaller pool. There was one lifeguard, & he was watching the kids who were swimming the heats.

So, the kids were told to get out of the pool - they could sit on the side & dangle their feet in the water but that was it. And, of course, that lasted all of 2 seconds before the kids were back in the water.

This smaller pool was closer to where our team's families were sitting, so the kids in the pool were all our kids.

And most of our parents were ignoring the ref's whistles to get their kids out of the pool. The kids would get out for 2 seconds & then be right back in. It was all of our younger swimmers mostly because the teams uses our older swimmers (including our 2 older kids) to help corall the kids behind the lanes & get them ready for their meets.

Anyway, the lifeguard & head coach from the other team eventually spoke to our coaches, & so our coaches & our team's president went around to all the parents & said we had to keep the kids out of the pool or we'd be forfeiting the meet.

DH was timing one of the lanes, so I was sitting w/ my parents & our younger DS who is not on the swim team. Next to us was a family whom I'd never seen before. And, after our team's president moved past our area, the dad from the family just started ranting & raving. He called the president a not nice word &, interspersed w/ various curse words, said no one could tell him or his kids what to do... yadda yadda yadda. And he was ranting loudly enough that my younger son could hear every single word.

And I'm normally not confrontational at all, but both the entitled attitude of "my kid doesn't have to get out of the pool" & the language just got to me. Plus, it was as hot as Hades, & I was cranky. LOL!

So I said something like, "Seriously? There are kids everywhere..." And then he called me a not nice word.

To which I responded, "Look, you can call me whatever you want, but I'd appreciate you not yelling so my son & all these other kids can hear you. And, if we can't keep our kids out of the pool, we're going to lose the meet."

About that time, the team's president came back around & spoke to the guy & then, in about 15 or so more minutes, the family left.

DH comes over later for a bottle of water, & I'm like, "You missed all the excitement!" LOL!