S/O: Angel Trees- Long, winded VENT

[rynosmom]

I'm in the same boat OP. I went to pick an Angel from the tree at my gym. I walked away disgusted when the request I saw for a 2 yo girl was DIAMOND STUD EARRINGS! I don't even have those. Much less does my DD,

That takes the cake.

 

[TheLittleRoo]

2 y/o asking for diamond earrings....

That takes the cake.

See, IMO, that's Mama talking there... What 2 y/o could even say "diamond earrings"??

 

[cheermom1]

See, IMO, that's Mama talking there... What 2 y/o could even say "diamond earrings"??

totally agree Momma talking period - i saw one time this lady had three girls and they were in walmart and she was taking back three very nice pink coats to get the moneyafter christmas and the girls all had on old nasty looking coats that were either too big or too small i was so upset to see something like that - my point is that it sounds like the momma is thinking she can get money for them....jmho ....

 

[adisneymama]

Of course it was mama talking, but I feel like someone at Salvation army should have explained that this wasn't something appropriate. That is why I won't do angel tree anymore. This year since my brother is in IRaq we are adopting a soldier and my sil is trying to find a soldiers family that we can adopt as well.

 

[ADisneyQueen]

We do not have angel trees in stores here anymore, just toys for tots boxes. I really do not know why. Our church has a tree where you can buy a toy for child whose parent is in prison. I think the parent makes the wish list and gives the child the toy and one clothing article. The tree was bare by the 3rd service so we didn't get an angel.
We make shoeboxes for Operation Christmas child. My kids enjoy doing this. I'm sure the children who receive these are very poor and appreciate them/.

 

[DisneyKT]

We have a Giving Tree and there are no request. The paper just list the childs age and sex. So most people buy toys and one outfit. If you couldn't give much they requested soap or shampoo and socks.


Robin, first you should never feel bad for giving. Last year if it wasn't for people who donate one of my friends would not have had food,clothes or toys for her kids. When her husband left her took money and didn't pay any support until it was taken out thru the courts. So people can really make a difference she was so happy last year to have gifts for her kids and food that she cried for days

 

[mommyto_3princesses]

We adopted an elderly man through a local organization. The list had several items on it, including a robe and Christmas decorations. We had our trunk full for this person and amoung other things we got him a pz robe from the Disney catalog and lots of Christmas decorations. Through this organization you deliver the gifts yourself. Well, it did not go so well. He was very mean and grumpy, said that he did not need a robe, told us to take it back and he didn't was any Christmas decorations-he didn't even have a tree and the list said Christmas ornaments. I think the organization just put down whatever. We also got him a ton of food and when we went to put it in his fridge-it was full of BEER

So now we usually give to a local Childrens Hospital or a family that we personally know that is in need.

 

[secretpantssam]

We adopted an elderly man through a local organization. The list had several items on it, including a robe and Christmas decorations. We had our trunk full for this person and amoung other things we got him a pz robe from the Disney catalog and lots of Christmas decorations. Through this organization you deliver the gifts yourself. Well, it did not go so well. He was very mean and grumpy, said that he did not need a robe, told us to take it back and he didn't was any Christmas decorations-he didn't even have a tree and the list said Christmas ornaments. I think the organization just put down whatever. We also got him a ton of food and when we went to put it in his fridge-it was full of BEER

So now we usually give to a local Childrens Hospital or a family that we personally know that is in need.

Oh man. The story sounded so sweet until you actually got there. I'm sorry it didn't go well. Maybe the people who worked there put down those things because he wasn't cooperating and was grumpy with them.

 

[cswtmom]

This is just my thought.
Last year my daughter was on a "angel list" and I requested clothes for her I stated that she was a 7 year old and she wore girl size 5. I didn't check the gifts she got I just put them under the tree and on christmas morning when she opened that gift she asked me why " SANTA" got her clothles that were size 5 juniors and that they didn't fit her. The "angel" didn't leave any tags on the outfits and I couldn't find out where they got them so my daughter could wear them so I told her that santa does make mistake just like everyone else, so she said let donate them to someone who could use them. And yes I was very proud of her. But to tell you the truth I felt bad for her and I learned that I will check any gifts before putting them under the tree. That's maybe why people ask for gift card so they can get items that fit/ need ? Please don't think that I am ungrateful for the "angel", last year was the worst year of my life. I am a single mom and make minmal wage , I suddenly lossed my 23 year old son and with the cost of a funeral (over $12,000) I still have not been able to buy a plot or a headstone for him yet, I didn't have much money to spent on christmas. I would like to say THANK YOU to the "angels" out there from the bottom of my heart, you will never know how much the familys who recieve your gifts are grateful to you.

 

[tzolkin]

The Christmas Program I'm involved with does not take requests for gifts. We are given the names of families and the ages of the children. We put up trees with various tags (ex. girl age 4) at the churches. People are to bring in the gifts unwrapped and also some donate coats, snowpants, etc in various sizes.

The parents are then invited to attend the event where all of the items are set up according to ages. (People donating are aware that their gift is not going to a specific child.) So the parents have the opportunity to pick out the toys and an outfit for their child that they know they would enjoy. Additional items are brought over to the senior center by the kids, so the seniors without families also get a visit and get a few gifts to open.

 

[Ashlotte]

The tree at our church preschool had requests for gift cards to the GAP or Starbucks, etc. I skipped those and took one that was a gift card for a grocery store. That is a NEED. I prefer when they ask for something specific because I can usually score an awesome deal on a good brand. I like to give nice things, but I use my money wisely so that I can give more. $20 to the GAP may not even get them one thing, but asking me to buy a coat, socks, and mittens- I may be able to get all of those from various places for the same price.
Also, I get why they wouldn't want used things because some people see it as a dumping ground for old or broken junk (like a Goodwill center). But MY kids get used things all the time, and have in the past for Christmas. If I am not above that, why should people asking for handouts be? It just seems like if I am going to decline Starbucks, Wiis, etc because I think they are a waste of money, why would I waste that money for someone who really could use it on something better. I don't get it.

 

[melancholywings]

I wonder if you would feel okay about someone (possibly a relative) giving your children gently used toys? My motto is if I wouldn't buy it/accept it for my own child, I'm certainly not going to give it to someone else. Also, for many of these children they probably only own used toys and clothing. Why shouldn't they have something all their own, never before used or owned?

I completely agree with these two posts!

I give my child gently used toys proudly. I believe in the 3 R's - Reduce, reuse, recycle. While there's nothing wrong with new things I think our society gets wrapped up in having the latest, greatest, largest and shinest toy under the tree that they forget that 'new' doesn't mean better and contributes to our environmental problems.

 

[DisneyKT]

This is just my thought.Last year my daughter was on a "angel list" and I requested clothes for her I stated that she was a 7 year old and she wore girl size 5. I didn't check the gifts she got I just put them under the tree and on christmas morning when she opened that gift she asked me why " SANTA" got her clothles that were size 5 juniors and that they didn't fit her.* The "angel" didn't leave any tags on the outfits and I couldn't find out where they got them so my daughter could wear them so I told her that santa does make mistake just like everyone else, so she said let donate them to someone who could use them. And yes I was very proud of her. But to tell you the truth I felt bad for her and I learned that I will check any gifts before putting them under the tree. That's maybe why people ask for gift card so they can get items that fit/ need ? Please don't think that I am ungrateful for the "angel", last year was the worst year of my life. I am a single mom and make minmal wage , I suddenly lossed my 23 year old son and with the cost of a funeral (over $12,000) I still have not been able to buy a plot or a headstone for him yet, I didn't have much money to spent on christmas. I would like to say THANK YOU to the "angels" out there from the bottom of my heart, you will never know how much the familys who recieve your gifts are grateful to you.

 

[Anjelica]

I used to pick off our my works' Christmas tree several years right after I started working there. I got disgusted with it a few years ago when a majority of the requested items were not things that were "need" or even a small "want" but gaming systems, etc. Yes there were still some children that would ask for a Harry Potter book or a little girl who wanted a doll but it just got so ridiculous it completely turned me off.

It's sad because there really are people who truly need help. And you get a few bad apples that ruin it for the rest of the bunch. I'm so fed up with the entitlement mentality these parents instill in their kids.

While I haven't been directly involved with the Toys for Tots program in a couple of decades I believe that is one of the better programs for the kids. If you wish to provide a toy for a child who really appreciates anything that is a program I 100% believe in. (My dad help to establish the program in portions of Kauai when we lived there in the 80's).

Off topic a little bit but there was this guy who was begging for money outside of a restaurant in downtown St. Louis. My friend, who gives up vacations to do volunteer work in countries like Honduras, wanted to purchase some food for the gentlemen. Her husband talked her out of it because its actually illegal to do so in St. Louis and the local government actually wants you to direct these people to a pretty well run local charity/aid group (a group that helps you get a job and get on your feet, etc.). After they came out of the restaurant the guy was still begging for money but at the same time was on his "blackberry" type device texting away. That was priceless.

 

[TimeforMe]

I guess I'm missing something here. One GIVES because one wants to. I have NEVER seen an angel tree with requests for WII or such expensive items either at our church our in my local grocery store. This year I picked two off of our angel tree. One request was from a 12 year old for a watch and the other was for Power Rangers. IMO, one was relatively practical, one not so much. Did it matter? Not at all. It was what they wished for and every child should be able to have a watch and some action figures, right? The store requested that the gift be worth $30. When I think of how much money is spent on my children, it pained me to think that this present I was providing was possibly their "big" present. I do agree that those who have perhaps wished for a WII game system or something similar, should have been explained to that this was not practical. I couldn't afford to buy that either. But I simply would have chosen something I COULD afford to provide.

I also don't understand why asking for a gift card is so terrible. Some people prefer to just buy a gift card so the person on the receiving end can pick out something they'd like. Is that so awful?

 

[patsal]

When I was young, we were poor, really poor. We knew we couldn't have the same things other kids had and it was ok. I still think that it is ok. We knew that needs came before wants and all that and we, for lack of a better phrase, "knew our place". I'm prety sure my Mom would have kicked us in the you know what if we even asked for things that many of our firends had--her answer would have been a sweater, hat or mittens are good things to ask for. I also knew education was the way out of that place and struggled until I clawed my way out of poverty. I cringe when I see ages like 17 on a giving tree--when I was 17 I worked full time still went to school--I found a place that convieniently ignored the labor laws so I could earn the money I needed to help out--I didn't need anything for Christams and would have felt really bad knowing that I asked for something that would prevent a smaller child who deserves a gift not to get one. To this day I am super practical about stuff--I even bailed on the wedding DH and I were going to have when I learned that a wedding dress was more than kitchen appliances! I figured I'd have the fridge a lot longer than I would be able to wear the dress!All I do is get to the tree as quickly as I can and look for an age that will work for me. This year I have a first grader that will get a Hanah Montana/ Myley Cyrus poster, hat, mittens and scarf, and a Hannah Montana doll. I will add a book or two as well. (a want, a need and a read are all covered then!)
I guess when I see things like Wii and MP3 player on a list I just opt not to do that one. When I go to poverty stricken areas to teach students who are out of school long term and need home instruction, and I watch kids who all have cell phones and and a house full of TV's competing for volume, but the family fights over which lunchable will be dinner or who gets the one orange I have to question priorities and I get frustrated too, OP.

FWIW I guess I should be more giving and less shocked, but if I had the kind of money the Wii required to just hand out, I think I'd rather make more than one kid happy for Christmas.

 

[kadesha]

I was looking for one to get off of our tree at church. Most of them were "personal music player." Yeah, right. I searched and searched and finally found one for an 18 mth boy that said "pajamas and stuffed animals." I am going to buy him pajamas, clothes, a coat, and some toys. But there is no way I will buy an Ipod for a needy person.

 

[RobinFabulous]

We're not needy by any means, we do okay, but we do have a special needs child. One year both of my little kids were attending Easter Seals and the FOP got together to raise money to give them a party and gave each child a $5 gift. We were blessed by that. I could have easily bought each of mine a $5 but knowing that the FOP thought of the families with special needs children (and some WERE struggling) still makes me cry. A few months later the employees at a large company here made each participant in their program (they have an adult program too) a blanket.

Last year Jonah attended a party given by the Steel Workers Association for all of the special needs children in the school district and the surrounding districts. They had lunch and goodies and Santa brought each boy a football and each girl a doll. You should have seen how happy those kids were.....


No matter what type of family you give to, I'm sure that they appreciate it. I know it makes a difference.

 

[disneymom3]

How in the world is a 10-year old who has little, and sees some of her friends at school with so much, wanting what THEY have greedy?

When you were 10, would you have been happy getting mittens as your only Christmas gift?

Face it...how many of our OWN kids NEED a Wii? None of them...NONE of them...but we buy things that they want because it makes them happy.

So why can't you keep the spirit of the angel tree and accept that you are fulfilling a wish for a kid who has no other hope of getting something they really want. Nothing says you can't still get them a pair of mittens...but consider that what really makes a kid happy on Christmas is getting something they want rather than need.

The bolded is what kills me about this need issue. How many of you really are giving your own kids mittens and a coat for Christmas??? Good grief. If you don't want to do it, then don't but good grief, most of these people are children. Last year I got DD an MP3 player for $10. Gave one to a girl her age on our church giving tree too. Found a digital camera this year for $45. Not the BEST quality but I am sure the child asking for it will be excited.

I know that sometimes the tags on the trees seem over the top and I am SURE there are people out there who scam the system. But I am also sure that many of these children have very little. The things my kids take for granted every day are a luxury in those children's lives. And sadly that is things like two pairs of mittens in case one is wet. So, I'll buy the mittens, but I will also buy the MP3 player.

 

[patsal]

The bolded is what kills me about this need issue. How many of you really are giving your own kids mittens and a coat for Christmas??? Good grief. If you don't want to do it, then don't but good grief, most of these people are children. Last year I got DD an MP3 player for $10. Gave one to a girl her age on our church giving tree too. Found a digital camera this year for $45. Not the BEST quality but I am sure the child asking for it will be excited.

I know that sometimes the tags on the trees seem over the top and I am SURE there are people out there who scam the system. But I am also sure that many of these children have very little. The things my kids take for granted every day are a luxury in those children's lives. And sadly that is things like two pairs of mittens in case one is wet. So, I'll buy the mittens, but I will also buy the MP3 player.

Actually my kids do get things like, coats, boots, scarves, mittens, underware and books for Christmas. Nothing against an MP3 player (and if that is exactly what it said I'd be happy to use my CVS ECB's to get a craig one), but when it says Ipod nano orange I have an issue and choose not to choose that child.