Rumors and reputations among teenagers

[SillyMe]

My dd14 told me today that a girl (ex-friend) is telling everyone in school that my dd is a "prude" and she can't believe that my dd's boyfriend is going out with her. Why would he want such a "prude"?

Now, my dd is a tough kid and not afraid to speak her mind and stand up for what she believes in. She told the girl that at least she's not a "s---" like her (which sadly is the truth, by the way...this KID has been having sex since she was 12 years old ).

Back when I was a teenager it was a "negative" rumor for girls to be known as the ones who "get around". It was a bad rep to have. Has that changed? When has it become "cool" to have that reputation?

 

[Kirby]

It's still not cool. My daughter just turned 15 and there is always so much drama going on. Having a reputation as a s--- is still not good. It sounds like that the ex-friend is just trying to get a rise out of your daughter.

 

[L107ANGEL]

It's still not cool. My daughter just turned 15 and there is always so much drama going on. Having a reputation as a s--- is still not good. It sounds like that the ex-friend is just trying to get a rise out of your daughter.

I agree!!!

 

[SillyMe]

It's still not cool. My daughter just turned 15 and there is always so much drama going on. Having a reputation as a s--- is still not good. It sounds like that the ex-friend is just trying to get a rise out of your daughter.

Are you sure you don't know this girl? That's exactly why she's doing it. She loves to stir up trouble.

I know, we know it's not cool...but what I meant is do the kids in school think it's cool now?

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Wow! If I was in school today and someone called me a prude, I would be flattered. In a time of so many hoochie-mama teenagers, being a prude is a good thing.

 

[SPAM]

i think its bad both ways. its bad if you are a s--- but its just as bad if you are a prude. Apparently you are not accepted unless you fall somewhere in the middle.

 

[Kirby]

No, it's still not cool. But the word s--- is not just used for a girl that is easy anymore, it applies to the way they dress, they way they act, etc. And yes, they are looked down on.

In fact, I have heard that word used so much here lately about this person or that person, it is banned in my house.

 

[IloveWINNIEthePOOH]

For the guys, a girl who is a s*** is cool, and they'll use her to get.. somewhere and then forget about her. When the girls hear about another girl being like that, she's immediately thought of as trashy (except the ones who are like her).
So as to whether or not it is "cool"- in my opinion- NO!

Just the insight from a 16 year old living in high school drama!

 

[KarenAylwood]

i think its bad both ways. its bad if you are a s--- but its just as bad if you are a prude. Apparently you are not accepted unless you fall somewhere in the middle.

I agree.

 

[simba928]

In my school, it is worse to be a s---, but it isn't good to be a prude either. A lot of the freshmen this year are the former. They just don't fit in with the rest of the school. And a couple of them are trying out for guard, which is the opposite of the guard image. We have attitude, we aren't sluts, but we aren't prudes. It should be an interestin year if this happens.

But just tell your daughter to ignore the ex-friend. As you said, she is just trying to stir up trouble. She is definitly not worth the time nor energy to worry about it. Easier said than done, I know, but if your daughter shows that she is upset, then the other girl has "won".

 

[Daxx]

Why would he want such a "prude"?

Tell her to tell this girl that he opts for a prude b/c he's smart -- he doesn't want to be a daddy and/or get some god-awful venereal disease that the slutty boys and girls pass around.

That ought to shut the girl up!!!!!!!! I know if someone said that to me, I'd be pretty speechless!!

 

[Loubon]

Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere.

 

[SillyMe]

Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere.

Lou


I don't know why, but a "prude" image to me is a girl who wears a sweater buttoned up to her chin and walks with her shoulders and back completely straight. My daughter doesn't dress like that, yet she doesn't dress like a ho. She's an average kid who does fall into the "in between" category.

I told her to tell the chick that her boyfriend likes her because she is a girl he respects, unlike her. Oh boy, and I know her mom. You know the saying...the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My 15yo DS had an incident on the bus last week. A girl said some things to him which really upset him I finally got him to give me an example of what she said when he said that she was harassing him and she asked him if he was a virgin and then asked him if he was, well I can't say the word here since it can get a person banned, but if he was, uh, hard, right then. Nice, huh? Guess in her opinion being a virgin at 15 was abnormal. Pretty sad.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

I don't know if this would help her any, but I was called the same thing. It was so bad once that some male friends (and they were teasing, not trying to be mean) started calling me P-R-U-D-E. They heavily accented the E part, and eventually called me "E" for short.

I confessed to my best friend (best friends are so great) that it bugged me, and she gave me a pin that said _______ are beautiful. I have no idea what the _____ originally was, because she'd cut out a big E from a magazine and an 's, so my pin says (I still have it), "E's are beautiful!"

I got called "Shirley Feeney" in grade school (I'm dating myself here) and "E" in high school.

But I never spent a night crying about how a guy left me right after I did the deed with him...and I didn't have guys telling their friends about how I behaved during you-know-what and then having those guys write quotes of what I'd said on my locker.

Please tell her that the girls who are doing this stuff are doing it because they're looking for love. They are only more upset when they do that and still don't get loved. It is a vicious cycle and those girls - contrary to what they say - are never happy. Heck, I still know women in their 30s and 40s who behave this way. Some of them have never been married, and some are divorced. They are miserable.

And please tell her not to call people s---s. She should just stop talking to this girl. That is no way for a lady to behave. We don't call people that - we just talk about it with our moms and best friends.

E's are beautiful! And they have happier lives (during, and especially after high-school).

 

[MUFFYCAT]

Girls can be terrible. My DD is in the 9th grade. They can be so mean to each other.

 

[FroggyinArk]

been there,, wait,, still am there... alchohol helps.

 

[ShuisFan584]

i think its bad both ways. its bad if you are a s--- but its just as bad if you are a prude. Apparently you are not accepted unless you fall somewhere in the middle.

I agree with this. Well, not that I agree with the reasoning for this at all, but this is the way it was when I was in high school.