Riddled With Guilt

[shelly3girls]

Not to over-complicate things, but…

Is there any way you can talk to your ex, give the iPod Touch to the oldest child, and give the colored nanos to the two girls who are the same age? He won't be out any money over it, and he'll get credit for giving the Touch to his kid. In our house, the older kid gets the upgraded technology first — that's just the way it is. And the younger one, who has to wait a little longer, usually gets a newer model that is even nicer when it's her turn. Could that work?

This is exactly what I would do!

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

Not to over-complicate things, but…

Is there any way you can talk to your ex, give the iPod Touch to the oldest child, and give the colored nanos to the two girls who are the same age? He won't be out any money over it, and he'll get credit for giving the Touch to his kid. In our house, the older kid gets the upgraded technology first — that's just the way it is. And the younger one, who has to wait a little longer, usually gets a newer model that is even nicer when it's her turn. Could that work?

While this would keep things equal between the girls, the oldest is by far the least mature. In fact, I think his dad is nuts to spend 150 on the ipod nano for him. He has lost 3 pair of glasses and two (thankfully cheap, pre-paid)cell phones in the past year. This is the same kid who goes though several coats and school textbooks because he is always leaving them on the bus never to be seen again. I'm going to have to retain tight control over his nano. DD 10 is the most responsible with her things, followed by DSD, DS 6, and lastly DS 11 (will be 12 before Christmas).

I guess I could give him the touch and retain control of it myself .

 

[RitaE]

I would not give it back, ask them to donate it, or ask if I could sell it (REALLY? this is so tactless to me-I would be totally insulted if I had given this gift from my heart and the recipient asked if they could sell it!)

Well, it might be tacky to refuse the gift. But frankly it is at the very least - insensitive to give a $230 gift to one child in a family of 4 children. Maybe not tacky, but definitely insensitive although I'm sure the Lawyer had the best of intentions. The difference between the iTouch and the Nano iPods is pretty significant and stuff like this could really turn a Happy Christmas into a miserable visit from the green eyed monster amongst the pre-teens. And yes, 11 year olds know very well that iTouches are loads better than Nanos.

This is not a situation I'd want to deal with in my house.

I'd either find an equitable way to deal with the situation, or I'd politely return the gift to the co-worker with the explanation that I just couldn't accept it.

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

I can understand the quandary of wanting to keep things equal for the kids, but I honestly don't see any other way to handle it without being incredibly rude or tacky to the coworker! I think you should give the Touch to your SD as intended, and I like another poster's idea of having the kids share once in a while. Are they already good about sharing, or would that cause more problems?

DSD lives in Ohio with her mother (we're in Oklahoma). She is here for Christmas Break and 6-7 weeks of the summer. I'd have to send the iPod touch home with her. Her mother is nice but not technically savvy at all. She still hasn't figured out how to download the pictures off the digital camera we bought her for Christmas last year.

 

[NYPDwife]

Why don't you give the Touch to the oldest child and give the Nano to the younger one?

 

[RachelEllen]

My DSS wants a Itouch for Hanukah but will be getting a nano. We are not comfortable with him having unfettered access to the internet. (This is the kid who ran off to the computer to show us his favorite song, and we followed screaming "Stop" about 10 seconds later when it occured to both of us he was about to google "Naked Brothers Youtube"

Anyhow, I just mention this because if you want to refuse the gift, I think this would be a perfectly valid reason.

 

[MushyMushy]

DSD lives in Ohio with her mother (we're in Oklahoma). She is here for Christmas Break and 6-7 weeks of the summer. I'd have to send the iPod touch home with her. Her mother is nice but not technically savvy at all. She still hasn't figured out how to download the pictures off the digital camera we bought her for Christmas last year.

Ah, well that would make it easier for me, then. I'd just give it to her since she'd probably spend most of her time at her mother's!

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

Several people have said that the touch is much better than the nano. Can you tell me what the difference is? (Besides the price.)

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

Ah, well that would make it easier for me, then. I'd just give it to her since she'd probably spend most of her time at her mother's!

I guess the question I have with doing that is which type is easier to use? Since DSD's mom has so much trouble figuring out anything electronic, I want to be sure she can figure out how to use it.

 

[robinb]

I guess the question I have with doing that is which type is easier to use? Since DSD's mom has so much trouble figuring out anything electronic, I want to be sure she can figure out how to use it.

I have an iPhone which is a iPod Touch with calling capabilities. You load a Touch the same way as you load a Nano ... with iTunes off of a computer. The Touch will also be able to access the internet via a Wi-fi connection and you can play cool games on the Touch (loading via iTunes or through the Apple App Store "online"). I think you can also play games on the Nano but we don't have ours yet.

I do think the Touch is a little trickier but any 10-year old should be able to figure it out!

 

[WebmasterAlex]

My opinion:

1. Wrap ipod in pretty paper
2. Watch DD's face light up with happiness christmas morning
3. Have DD write heartfelt thank you note to nice lawyer lady
4. Move on with life

 

[rie'smom]

My opinion:

1. Wrap ipod in pretty paper
2. Watch DD's face light up with happiness christmas morning
3. Have DD write heartfelt thank you note to nice lawyer lady
4. Move on with life

Accept the gift with grace and give it to your daughter. So what if it eventually breaks? She'll remember it forever.

 

["Got Disney"]

As she gave it to you to give to your daughter that's what I would do, with many thanks. She wanted your daughter to have it. If it were a case of donating it to a charity she could have done that on her own.

I agree.....she will ask you after Christmas how your daughter liked the IPOD....I gave my son one last year for Christmas...he was 11. He did not use it the whole year but for a month. But he started using it again about a month ago. My 14 y.o used his all the time.

Even if she does not use it right away she will have it to use later. And she will. You will not have to buy one if you keep it. My boys are not allowed to take them to school or out of the house unless they are with us. They listen to them most of the time in the house unless we go on a trip.

Also she will feel as special as the other children getting the same thing. Does she have a cell phone? If so and you think that she is not to young for that than a IPOD is nothing.

My 11 year old does not have a cell because that I am worried about him loosing it. My other son has one that he got as he entered his freshman year in High School.

Give it to her. It is a great and wonderful gesture.....and it will make the person feel good for doing a good deed for someone else. If you must give it back I would be sure to say something like...I am so unbelievably thankful but after thinking about it I feel like he is to young and am so worried that he will loose it. Is there anyone else that you think could use it? And that's what I would say. Than I would be sure to give her/him a box of Chocolates with a thank you card and a thank you again written on it for being such a wonderfully kind person to think of my daughter at Christmas.

Make returning it to her/him as special as the giving of it....so that is how I would do it...just like that. She/he wants to feel special...be sure not to take that away from him/her

 

[yeartolate]

DSD lives in Ohio with her mother (we're in Oklahoma). She is here for Christmas Break and 6-7 weeks of the summer. I'd have to send the iPod touch home with her. Her mother is nice but not technically savvy at all. She still hasn't figured out how to download the pictures off the digital camera we bought her for Christmas last year.

Have her send the disk and then they can be loaded onto her daughters IPOD touch!

Life is not fair, I say graciously accept the heartfelt gift, and your kids/stepkids will learn a lesson in being happy for another's good fortune.

(I would of course only accept it if both parents were ok with the gift.

 

[wendy darling]

Is any way your older children could maybe share it? or you did say that all of children had birthdays coming up. maybe you could give her the gift as both a x-mas and b-day gift. I hope it all works out for you and your family.

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

or you did say that all of children had birthdays coming up. maybe you could give her the gift as both a x-mas and b-day gift.

Yes. They all have birthdays in December or January. I hadn't thought of that. Thanks for the suggestion!

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

DH suggested that we pony up the $150 to get DSD a pink nano and then give DS 6 the touch. His reasoning being that 1) DS 6 doesn't have another family giving him gifts; 2) He isn't too interested in music yet but he loves movies and games; 3)the three oldest (and most prone to fighting and jealousy) would have the same item, thereby eliminating any conflict; and 4) DS 6 is the most likely to allow us to carefully control his access.

Of course that does mean we would end up spending more than we planned. I don't think the sweet lawyer that gave me the ipod necessarily cares which kid gets it. She just wanted to help out. Again, the last thing I want to do is disrespect her gift in any way, shape or form.

I think I worry too much.

 

[WebmasterAlex]

I think I worry too much.

I'm thinking that's a strong possiblity

 

[wendy darling]

DH suggested that we pony up the $150 to get DSD a pink nano and then give DS 6 the touch. His reasoning being that 1) DS 6 doesn't have another family giving him gifts; 2) He isn't too interested in music yet but he loves movies and games; 3)the three oldest (and most prone to fighting and jealousy) would have the same item, thereby eliminating any conflict; and 4) DS 6 is the most likely to allow us to carefully control his access.

Of course that does mean we would end up spending more than we planned. I don't think the sweet lawyer that gave me the ipod necessarily cares which kid gets it. She just wanted to help out. Again, the last thing I want to do is disrespect her gift in any way, shape or form.

I think I worry too much.

Worrying about your kids is sweet, and part of being a parent. Have a great christmas, and i am sure all of your children will be happy with whatever you choose to buy them They are lucky to have you.

 

[MushyMushy]

My opinion:

1. Wrap ipod in pretty paper
2. Watch DD's face light up with happiness christmas morning
3. Have DD write heartfelt thank you note to nice lawyer lady
4. Move on with life

Very simple solution.

If I were feeling greedy, I think I'd buy a nano for the dsd and wrap the Touch up for myself. But then that's what's on my Christmas list this year anyway.