Riddled With Guilt

[mickeyboat]

I agree. Accept the gift graciously and write a thank you.

What an incredible gift from your co worker.

Denae

 

[SC Minnie]

I agree with the others- accept the gift as it was intended.

You will never be able to keep things equal especially when you have a blended family and can't control what each child receives.

 

[lucyanna girl]

I agree with the others- accept the gift as it was intended.

You will never be able to keep things equal especially when you have a blended family and can't control what each child receives.

I also agree. My DD has had a Touch ever since they came out and loves it.

Penny

 

[Mom2Satan&Daisy]

I would thank her and give it to your daughter. I wouldn't look to sell it or give it away to charity. She could have done it herself, but didn't.

That's what I would do also.

I think asking to sell it or donate it would be tacky.

 

[Evil Genius]

Do kids this age really know the price difference of such items? or will they just see it as she got a different model than theirs?

Give your DSD the Ipod Touch as your very generous co-worker intended you to do.

 

[tinatark]

Think about it this way - your daughters were going to have nano's from their dad - and your step daughter was not going to have a music player. I know that you hated it then, that the other 2 would have something and the sd wasn't - but it didn't make you try to do something else with the gift, so why punish the sd by not giving her this gift that she has been given? Would you have told your daughters they couldn't play with their nanos because sd didn't have one? Make them leave them at their father's house? Your family dynamics are different, and everything just won't be the same for each of them.

I would just explain that to the three of them.

 

[OceanAnnie]

As she gave it to you to give to your daughter that's what I would do, with many thanks. She wanted your daughter to have it. If it were a case of donating it to a charity she could have done that on her own.

I would do ask she suggested. It wouldn't be a waste if your DD enjoys it. She probably will be thrilled and enjoy it as much as any other i-pod. Besides, you didn't truly "spend" more on her. It was a gift to you to give. Just my .02.

 

[littleteapot]

Do kids this age really know the price difference of such items? or will they just see it as she got a different model than theirs?

Give your DSD the Ipod Touch as your very generous co-worker intended you to do.

My 12, 10 and 8 year old know that Daddy's ipod is much cooler than my 12 yobs hand me down "mini" ipod (ie dinosaur)

I vote you give it to the 10 year old who was intended to receive it and ask her to share nicely when someone wants to watch a video. Likewise the child with the touch ipod might want to borrow a nano on occasion.

If the lawyer believes it was meant to be, accept the gift as given.

 

[Magic Mom]

I would thank her and give it to your daughter. I wouldn't look to sell it or give it away to charity. She could have done it herself, but didn't.

I agree.

 

[Camicar]

I think you need to accept this generosity graciously and stop overthinking it.

 

[rparmfamily]

Since your DSD will be writing a thank you note to the attorney, there is no way you can trade it/sell it/donate it,etc.

Keep it, give it to your step-daughter as a Christmas present and let her know where it came from (maybe that the lawyer had an extra and wanted her to have it) Perhaps your DSD could trade it herself at the Apple store if she wanted a different model after the holidays?

What an awesome gift.

 

[dislal]

As she gave it to you to give to your daughter that's what I would do, with many thanks. She wanted your daughter to have it. If it were a case of donating it to a charity she could have done that on her own.

I would thank her again and keep it. I think it would be insulting to do anything else. She wouldn't have given it to you if she really didn't want you to have it. Good Luck

 

[MushyMushy]

I can understand the quandary of wanting to keep things equal for the kids, but I honestly don't see any other way to handle it without being incredibly rude or tacky to the coworker! I think you should give the Touch to your SD as intended, and I like another poster's idea of having the kids share once in a while. Are they already good about sharing, or would that cause more problems?

 

[rentayenta]

I'm worried about that too. Especially with the nanos coming from their dad. DSD will also be getting nice gifts from her mother/mother's family. I'd hate to buy them $50 gifts and then hand DSD a $230 gift. It's really DS 6 that gets the shaft (gift-wise) since he doesn't have any other parents than DH and I. Then again, having both his parents together raising him is much better than any gift.

Maybe give it to your DD and spend the $50 you would have on your youngest child.

 

[Michelle67]

I think you should just gracefully accept it and give it to your step daughter. IMHO there is no point in trying to keep things "equal" for kids, especially when there are step parents and natural parents, "extra" grandparents, etc. involved. Besides, life is not fair or equal. I think it is best to just concentrate on getting kids things that they like, and not raise them to think everything has to add up to be the same. KWIM? For the six year old, I would probably get him an inexpensive MP3 player. He'll most likely be satisfied to have something to play music, and isn't going to care about the name brand. I just bought one for my five year old for $10 in the sales.

Reading your post also made me really grateful for my ex. He can be a selfish jerk, but the one thing he has always done was to include my younger kids. He never bought our daughter a Christmas gift without buying something for the other two. He bought our daughter her iPod one year, and while the younger two didn't get iPods or anything "equal" in value, they got toys that they really liked. I appreciate that about him, and I'd encourage any other divorced parents out there whose children now have half siblings or step siblings to consider doing the same.

 

[loco4dis]

Not to over-complicate things, but…

Is there any way you can talk to your ex, give the iPod Touch to the oldest child, and give the colored nanos to the two girls who are the same age? He won't be out any money over it, and he'll get credit for giving the Touch to his kid. In our house, the older kid gets the upgraded technology first — that's just the way it is. And the younger one, who has to wait a little longer, usually gets a newer model that is even nicer when it's her turn. Could that work?

 

[HelenePA]

Maybe give it to your DD and spend the $50 you would have on your youngest child.

this is exactly what I was thinking too

 

[SydneyBristow]

Maybe give it to your DD and spend the $50 you would have on your youngest child.

That sounds like a great idea.

 

[CanBeGrumpy]

Is there any way you could chip in with your ex to get the other two kids an Ipod Touch? If I am reading this right, it would cost you $80 per kid to upgrade the Nano to a Touch? That is only $30 more than what you planned to spend per kid. Of course, it would require the cooperation of your ex, but perhaps it would work? Good luck; it will work out somehow!!

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I would not give it back, ask them to donate it, or ask if I could sell it (REALLY? this is so tactless to me-I would be totally insulted if I had given this gift from my heart and the recipient asked if they could sell it!) Give it to the child the lawyer intended for you to give it to. If it is too "old" for the child, (kids can figure out electronics a lot better than we adults can. ) or too expensive..so what. If kiddo breaks it, she breaks it..no different than if she broke the $50 shuffle or the $150 Nano..you didn't pay for it..so what? The suggestion that DOES make a lot of sense is to find out if you can buy insurance..that can be your part of the gift.

What a nice gesture. The lawyer can certainly afford it, and you are very lucky to benefit from this circumstance. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth..don't sell the gift horse, don't donate the gift horse, don't return the gift horse. You will appear to be very ungrateful.