I do want to point out that you do not have to be staying onsite to make ADRs. Anyone can make an ADR for any restaurant.
You also say that family size prevents you from staying onsite. Disney has accommodations for families of all sizes, and are further catering to larger families with the opening of AoA, which is an affordable alternative to the deluxe resorts.
ETA: The dining plan costs the same for all resort guests also, regardless of room category. I feel like maybe you needed to do more research before writing your post...
Disney does a wonderful job of providing a fun, safe, clean place for people to come and have fun. But Disney is also a business. If they think they've found a way to entice more people to stay on-site and it ends up working, that's a smart business decision on their part. If it doesn't work, I'm sure that they will make adjustments.
Also...there is a LOT of speculation going around about this RFID thing, and Disney has not made any announcements regarding the details. It seems like a lot of people are complaining pre-emptively...
1) I'll hold my hands up and say I had no idea you could make ADR's staying offsite. To my knowledge, that has never been pointed out on any thread I visited on this forum, and that is where I get my info from (just never thought to do a google.) That point can be ignored then, and I will edit the post.
2) The dining plan thing was to point out that the free dining plan offer gives you a free dining plan appropriate to your resort, so QS for mods and normal for deluxe, and I think that will most likely be the approach here, so IF there is a free xpass offer, it will probably be for deluxe, not for mods or value. I highly doubt you would get xpass included in a value, at least. They are investing a lot here, they need some return, and a few bucks more spent at shops won't cover it all as fast as they'd like.
3) We can't afford to stay in disney property. Full stop, it just isn't possible. I understand you might be fortunate enough, but we just couldnt afford too, and I know they can't cater for me exlusively, but I don't think its too much to ask that we be given the
chance to get equal access to rides, even if they charge more for off site than on site guests for this option it would still be better than not having it at all. I could cope with not eating onsite, not staying onsite or not doing all the special events, but the one thing that I really don't think should be changed is the equal access to rides.
Like I say, I have a rather unique view on this compared to most. You are free not to agree!
But you are right, this is all speculation, and probably wrong.

I just am not liking the look of this update. I will reserve my final decisions on whether I will ever go again till we get more news, but like I said, I just don't like the look of it. No final decisions, but I'm concerned atm. Plenty of unanswered questions, and its human nature to want to fill in the gaps, guess I just cant help myself!

I just wish Disney would hurry up and quash all the rumours... patience is a virtue I guess!