Reusing a wedding band

[dismom2005]

I recently went out on a date where the gentleman said he said he plans on reusing his wedding band if he gets remarried in the future and just changing the engraving inside . There was no next date, for other reasons but this was one one of the red flags. Agree or disagree? Poll coming...

 

[goofinoff]

I recently went out on a date where the gentleman said he said he plans on reusing his wedding band if he gets remarried in the future and just changing the engraving inside . There was no next date, for other reasons but this was one one of the red flags. Agree or disagree? Poll coming...

Tacky tacky tacky!!! I'm sure his new bride whoever she may be may have something to say about that!

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

BIG NO!!!

Only time I would recycle a ring would be if it was passed down from a family member or if it was an antique.

 

[Hannathy]

I'm just sitting here amazed how that topic came up on a first date


Things must have really changed in the decades since I had a first date.

 

[tar heel]

There is so much wrong with that. Unless, as another poster said, it is a family heirloom, then this is crazy. I can only assume that he is beyond cheap. If you ended up with him, you would probably have your squares of toilet paper rationed. If it's not cheapness, then it's cluelessness -- if he doesn't understand why that's not the way to start a new marriage, he doesn't have a clue. Definitely lousy husband material.

 

[dismom2005]

I'm just sitting here amazed how that topic came up on a first date


Things must have really changed in the decades since I had a first date.

Yes, that makes two of us...he brought it up for some odd reason and I was rather taken back, more with the idea of just changing the engraving, like you x out one name and put in another.... There is a reason why some people are single.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Maybe he brought it up to see what her reaction would be. Maybe he doesn't see it that way.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

I think he is a whackadoodle and I feel sorry for whatever poor sap winds up with him. I wouldn't expect 10 carats of diamonds...a plain gold (or even silver band) will do, but I don't want something that is a symbol of a broken committment with someone else. And even if it is just HIS band that is being re-used, that is just as weird, as it was a gift and symbol from the ex-wife, when it should be from me...just WEIRD!!!!

 

[dismom2005]

Maybe he brought it up to see what her reaction would be. Maybe he doesn't see it that way.

Not sure what you mean by this? Like he was testing me?

Honestly I don't even know if I even want to get married again, but I sure as heck would not want my name re-engraved over an ex-wife in an already used ring. I think passing it on to your child to have in the future is a much better option.

 

[Dreamer7787]

Whaaa? He brought this up on a first date? Weird.

And I would not be okay with using a ring from a failed marriage. I'm too sentimental to even consider it.

 

[sam_gordon]

Stupid question, but was he a divorcee or a widower? If the latter, I don't see it as any different than using a family heirloom. If the former, it says "cheap" to me.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

To me it would matter what happened to his previous marriage. If he is a widower and had had a happy marriage, I might be a bit more understanding. I would think that he's still not quite over her death and might be willing to see where things went over the next couple of dates.

If he was divorced, I wouldn't be staying for dessert!!!

 

[Imzadi]

There is so much wrong with that. Unless, as another poster said, it is a family heirloom, then this is crazy. I can only assume that he is beyond cheap. If you ended up with him, you would probably have your squares of toilet paper rationed. If it's not cheapness, then it's cluelessness-- if he doesn't understand why that's not the way to start a new marriage, he doesn't have a clue. Definitely lousy husband material.

I wouldn't change a single word of this post.

 

[dismom2005]

Divorced

 

[design_mom]

To me it would matter what happened to his previous marriage. If he is a widower and had had a happy marriage, I might be a bit more understanding. I would think that he's still not quite over her death and might be willing to see where things went over the next couple of dates.

If he was divorced, I wouldn't be staying for dessert!!!

I agree here. Unless it was an heirloom, then "new marriage = new ring." If his first marriage ended because his dear wife passed away, then I would be more understanding of his desire to keep the ring... but would worry that he wasn't quite ready for a new serious relationship. If he is divorced and still wants to keep the ring -- that's just weird. (And bringing it up on a first date seems weird no matter what the circumstances are!)

 

[usnuzuloose]

Not sure what you mean by this? Like he was testing me?

Honestly I don't even know if I even want to get married again, but I sure as heck would not want my name re-engraved over an ex-wife in an already used ring. I think passing it on to your child to have in the future is a much better option.

Sometimes people may say things to get their opinion. Did you ask what he meant by that? I guess I would have asked him if the woman if it was ok to reuse his band..This was a first date.

 

[Gigi22]

OP, did you challenge him about his statement? Even just asking him why he would bring the topic up on a first date? He sounds beyond weird to me.

I just voted 'other' in the poll. I would consider re-using a wedding ring for two reasons, if the ring were an heirloom ring, or if my intended was flat broke and I didn't want to make a big deal of getting a new ring. If I were going to get married for a second time, and my intended insisted on re-using his wedding band for no good reason, I would be equally insistent on a pre-nup.

 

[Peanut Giggleface]

I recently went out on a date where the gentleman said he said he plans on reusing his wedding band if he gets remarried in the future and just changing the engraving inside . There was no next date, for other reasons but this was one one of the red flags. Agree or disagree? Poll coming...

Wow, I agree with a lot of what other people have said aboutthis being wrong, tacky, cheap, clueless, etc. But I just want to add one thing: Run! Run now and run quickly. Don't look back!! There's lots of other fish in the sea and this one seems to have been bred and raised in some toxic waters. LOL but really, run!

 

[disney1990]

I agree with others. If he is divorced, NO. If his first wife died, I probably wouldn't have a problem with it.

 

[Dreamer7787]

I agree with others. If he is divorced, NO. If his first wife died, I probably wouldn't have a problem with it.

I think I would be more bothered by the latter (although either way I would want new rings). I'd feel like I was living in the shadow of the deceased wife. But like I said I'm sentimental. If FI died I would never be able to wear any piece of jewelry he got me without thinking about him, let alone a wedding band.