Retard

[cardaway]

I'm guessing that most of the people defending the use of the term "retard" or saying it isn't as bad as the "N" word, actually use it in conversation or allow their kids to use it.

Not this person.

Has there ever been an acceptable use of the words used as racial slurs?
On the other hand the word ******** was used by professionals for a very long time.

 

[Goofyluver]

I feel I can't agree, retard and gay both have perfectly acceptable meanngs and usage it is the insulting usage which is wrong and should not be used, the 'N' word does not have acceptable usage in my eyes and should never be used.

The OP likened retard to the 'N word' when clearly it is not the same. However I agree that it should not be used in the context in which it has mostly been discussed.

I agree that the word can be used correctly. What I stated in my post is that people use the word "retard" to attack and demean people. And it is uncceptable. I find it offensive and it's wrong.

Retard = slow such as Fire retardand

Special (needs)= people

Ummm...except that people don't use "retard" for fire retardant.

 

[Nancyg56]

Explain to me why using the word "retard" is any better than using any other derogatory word. Yes, there are other meanings for the word. But, that is not what the OP is speaking of.

My son is cognitively delayed. And that word..."retard"...it cuts me like a knife. It's no different than if he were African American and someone called him a name.

People abuse the word...they use it to attack and demean. And that is what makes it just as wrong as using a racial or ethnic slur---both of which attack and demean.

It's unacceptable and people should never say it.

Take a walk in my life and then speak to how the word is not as bad as other words.

You try to help your son see why others call him names...when all he does is work as hard as he can to get by. You try to help your 6th grade child understand why everyone else around him can do things that he can't. You try to help forge relationships between your child and other children when he is cognitively and developmentally 4-5 years behind his age peers. You try to go to sleep every night when all you can do is worry about what your child's life will be like when he can't get past a second grade reading level. You try to comfort a child who is in tears because someone made fun of him because he couldn't answer a question in class over multiplication, when he doesn't even know what multiplication is. You try to hold and calm down your baby when someone calls him a "retard."


Ohhhh...but it's not that bad right???

This word is socially acceptable and it shouldn't be. I understand exactly what the OP was speaking of. Words hurt...

What an eloquent way to explain why the word is so offensive. Thank you, I tried but I just could express myself as well.

 

[djm99]

Anyone with an IQ below 70 has a diagnosis of Mentally ********. When the state of Missouri changed (again) to that wording it was hard to swallow for some. Up until maybe 2002 students had an Educable Mentally Handicap 'title'. I guess because I understand what retardation is (and I'm constantly re-explaining it to my students and parents) it doesn't bother me so much. I just think the individuals that spit out ‘retard’ are ignorant at best. I totally understand and see the value of individuals with that 'label'. I see what they can and how they often function in our society as solid law abiding citizens.

My students (I teach Special Ed – MR students) are the kind of kids that go to work EVERYDAY on TIME. They are normally not the complainers, hardly ever the agitators and some of the employer’s most loyal workers. Sometimes they are teased about that 'label' so I work on their self-esteem as often as possible. Although the label 'retard' would not be politically correct and just silly in general, those who have that label have many different resources that are barely tapped into. I hope to see this improve in the future.

 

[momof2inPA]

I am saying that retard is a perfectly acceptable word for 'to slow'.

What I am concerned about is the removing from use a word for the sake of a single unacceptable meaning.

What are you, a linguist? That's not the meaning we are discussing.

 

[momof2inPA]

Not this person.

Has there ever been an acceptable use of the words used as racial slurs?
On the other hand the word ******** was used by professionals for a very long time.

.. but not retard.

 

[momof2inPA]

Anyone with an IQ below 70 has a diagnosis of Mentally ********. When the state of Missouri changed (again) to that wording it was hard to swallow for some. Up until maybe 2002 students had an Educable Mentally Handicap 'title'. I guess because I understand what retardation is (and I'm constantly re-explaining it to my students and parents) it doesn't bother me so much. I just think the individuals that spit out ‘retard’ are ignorant at best. I totally understand and see the value of individuals with that 'label'. I see what they can and how they often function in our society as solid law abiding citizens.

My students (I teach Special Ed – MR students) are the kind of kids that go to work EVERYDAY on TIME. They are normally not the complainers, hardly ever the agitators and some of the employer’s most loyal workers. Sometimes they are teased about that 'label' so I work on their self-esteem as often as possible. Although the label 'retard' would not be politically correct and just silly in general, those who have that label have many different resources that are barely tapped into. I hope to see this improve in the future.

OK, that's all nice, but it doesn't explain why or how retard is a less demeaning and cruel word that the "N" word. It's a matter of perspective.

 

[Goofyluver]

Again, people abuse the word. No one is saying that when someone says something like: "******** growth" that it is harmful or inappropriate. (which by the way, my son's growth is stunted) That's not how it has been said to my son.

He has had a child come up to him and shout at him: "Retard!"

So...is this acceptable because he has an IQ of a certain number?? Absolutely not!

I also happen to work as a speech therapist and work with many children who are cognitively delayed. I see it from both sides, as a parent and as a professional. I understand about IQ. I understand about cognitive ability. This is not what this thread is about. It's about the thoughtlessness of some who choose to use the word "retard" in a demeaning way. And it needs to stop.

 

[DocDis]

It pained me to write it. But I wanted to make a statement I can't take it anymore. I am so sick of hearing young people SCREAM it to each other

Agreed! My kids heard older kids using it on the bus....repeated it at home...WHOA! Did they get a lecture!

 

[Nancy]

My kids were taught at a very young age that we do not use that word in our house in a negative form. Unfortunately as they got older I have caught them using it "oh that is so _________" and have to remind them constantly that I do not like the word used that way and as long as they are within my earshot they better not say it again.

 

[Andy B]

What are you, a linguist? That's not the meaning we are discussing.

No I am not a linguist, and I appreciate that is not the use being discussed and if you will have read all of my posts on this thread you will realise that, but you will also realise that a number of the posts seem to be talking about the word per se and not making reference to the usage.

The OP said

Please teach your children (esp. your teenagers) that this is right up there with the N Word

and said nothiing about usage.

PS I thought your comment to me was a little brusque.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

From the context, it is clear to me that the OP meant the word, not its derivatives, in noun (not verb) form. I cannot think of a single acceptable use for that word as a noun. Use it as a verb to discuss chemical reactions, fireproof clothing, whatever else you like, but as a name for a living breathing human being, it is unacceptable and we as a human race need to move past that. Using loaded words - such as this word, the n word and "gay" in a casual or malevolent manner is just unacceptable.

To anyone who has had to deal with this, I just say that people's words say a whole lot more about *them* than anyone else. When people use words like this, I tend to think less of them.

 

[Andy B]

From the context, it is clear to me that the OP meant the word, not its derivatives, in noun (not verb) form.

There was no context in the OP. I just want to prevent another good English word becoming unacceptable in total.

 

[6TimeMomma]

Not this person.

Has there ever been an acceptable use of the words used as racial slurs?
On the other hand the word ******** was used by professionals for a very long time.

Uh, yes, apparently. See the previous posts about how black persons call each other the n word all the time as a friendly term, I guess.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

For what it's worth, it would bother me for someone to call my son a "Downie" also.

A downie? People actually call someone with Down's Syndrome a "downie?!" Of all things! That's awful!! Same thing with "aspie."

 

[LindsayDunn228]

The derogatory slang for Puerto Ricans is filtered out and of course the N word is as well.

Ok, call me naive, but what on earth is a slang for Puerto Ricans?? PM me if necessary.

 

[Jennasis]

If I ever heard anyone refer to one of my Down Syndrome athletes as a "Downie" I would absolutely lose my mind.

And even though it might be clinically correct to refer to someone as mentally ********, I simply cannot bring myself to say it without wincing.

 

[cardaway]

Uh, yes, apparently. See the previous posts about how black persons call each other the n word all the time as a friendly term, I guess.

I see people have posted that argument but IMO it doesn't make it acceptable just because the people involved don't take offense. I've seen plenty of people not care that other people were called 'tards either.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Uh, yes, apparently. See the previous posts about how black persons call each other the n word all the time as a friendly term, I guess.

Not all black people use the N word.

 

[QueenGoblin]

I took a "Homosexuality and Literature" class in college that was taught by an openly gay professor. He talked about the fact that Gay, Lesbian and trangendered writers had started to use the word "Queer" to kind of take its power away. The thinking was that if they used it among themselves they could reclaim it and lesson its power to hurt. I'm not positive, but I would guess that the "n" word has been used the same way by rappers and comedians. I'm not sure it was successful for either word, and it is not the approach I would have taken personally, but I can kind of understand the theory behind it.

I'm sad anytime words are used as weapons of fear and ignorance, no matter what word it is.