Retard

[Fitswimmer]

I can remember as a kid "retard" used to be the word. I don't hear it so much anymore from DS's friends.

I do hear, you are so gay! Thats gay! Are you gay? UGH!

Our local newspaper just finished a series on what conditions are like for homosexual students in our local middle and high schools. There was an entire article on the phrase "That's so gay!" The kids use it to describe anything they feel is stupid or not cool. The article said that the kids really aren't calling the entire gay community stupid or not cool-they are using it unconciously. I'm not sure I'm buying that. Sexual identity is a HUGE issue in those middle and high school years and I think it's more likely that they are using it to make sure nobody thinks that they're gay or to insult others that they think might be.

The series made me very sad for gay and lesbian kids going to school these days. I had hoped that things were better, based on the attitude I see from DN-but she's in college. High school and middle school seems to be the same minefield it was back in the Dark Ages when I went there. Conform or be bullied.

 

[Charade]

You better reread what you just wrote...I hope you did not mean it the way it sounds

I think she did and I agree. If some black people routinely refer to each other as "N", they obviously don't think it's all that offensive.

I've never heard mentally challanged people refer to each other in the same regard using the word retard.

 

[Lisa_M]

Agreed. I'd also like to add gay to the list.

I completely agree. These are two words I hear regularly around the halls of school and from my SIL and I can't stand it. I would also like to add statements such "That's gay" and others of the sort to the list.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

I was about to post the same thing. It must not be too offensive if it is OK to use among themselves.

Themselves, as in "those people"?

 

[freckles and boo]

Check out this;

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/itn/20070710/ten-love-declares-smoking-ban-********-ea4616c.html

CL isn't exactly a bastion of civility on her best days. She appears to be pathetic and self-absorbed most of the time.

Retard (the noun), is almost always derogatory when used to refer to a person. ******** (an adjective) is also frequently abused. Context is everything and usually the words are used to slam others. You can't get around the pain they cause.

 

[Charade]

Themselves, as in "those people"?

No, themeselves. Why try to make it more than it is?

 

[Ciao Mickey]

I don't think one group owns the title of Most Offensive Expression Used Against Them. There is no Market to Corner here

They are all meant to degrade. They are all meant to make the user of the word feel superior. They are all meant to tell the victim that they are "beneath" the person using the derogatory word


The Polish, The Italians, African Americans, The Chinese, The Japanese, folks from the Middle East, The Jewish People, Native Americans, those from Puerto Rico, homosexuals and, yes, people with Down Syndrome. They all have had very negative words used against them in the past, and will continue to have those words thrown in their faces in the future


And, yes, they are all in the same ballpark.

I agree.

 

[Fitswimmer]

Here's the article I referred to earlier:

http://www.dailyrecord.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070709/COMMUNITIES/707090302&theme=GAYTEENS

The title is "That's so Gay" Innocent tease or Harmful Taunt?

I'm glad that this kind of thing is getting publicity, hopefully things will change.

 

[hentob]

If it is just as bad would you title a thread with the N word? It is up there with Idiot or moron. Also you will not get points for this thread.

The derogatory slang for Puerto Ricans is filtered out and of course the N word is as well. I would imagine the rotten word for gays is not compatible with The DIS filter. But I could easily get away with writing derogatory words for Italians, Polish, Middle Eastern, etc.

Just because it isn't filtered by The DIS, doesn't mean it isn't wrong. Also, I wouldn't get points b/c The Mods know I am not using it to call someone a name. I bet if somebody came on these boards and called a person w/special needs a name--They would MOST CERTAINLY get points.

I don't want to turn this into a "My community's hurtful words are worse than yours". They all are damaging. I just wanted to educate folks that my Title Word is very hurtful.

 

[Magickndm]

No, themeselves. Why try to make it more than it is?

Because it's the Dis?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Themselves, as in "those people"?

Come on now. Let's not turn this into something it isn't. I think the poster was referring to a particular group of people who would be offended by such a word. It would be the same as if this conversation was about Italians, Asians or even the garbage man.

Wanted to add-
Bill Cosby did a big thing on this saying that if you do not want people to refer to you with a negative slang word then you cannot use it amongst yourselves and then decide that others are offensive when they use it. I agree with him. If I walked around calling all my friends boogers and then you said it and I was offended then that is wrong. JMHO.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

The derogatory slang for Puerto Ricans is filtered out and of course the N word is as well. I would imagine the rotten word for gays is not compatible with The DIS filter. But I could easily get away with writing derogatory words for Italians, Polish, Middle Eastern, etc.

Just because it isn't filtered by The DIS, doesn't mean it isn't wrong. Also, I wouldn't get points b/c The Mods know I am not using it to call someone a name. I bet if somebody came on these boards and called a person w/special needs a name--They would MOST CERTAINLY get points.

I don't want to turn this into a "My community's hurtful words are worse than yours". They all are damaging. I just wanted to educate folks that my Title Word is very hurtful.

There was a poster who refered to middle eastern folks as "towel heads". That REALLY bothered me since I am part Lebanese. Nothing happened to them, though the post was eventually zapped.

Because it's the Dis?

But of course!

 

[hentob]

There was a poster who refered to middle eastern folks as "towel heads".

That is what I mean. Not all terrible, hurtful words will be filtered out by The DIS. It doesn't make them acceptable.

 

[Jennasis]

Oh hentob, you scared the bejeezus out of me. I was all ready to come out SWINGING, thinking somebody was using that word in a joking manner. It is a gigantic no-no around here. I am a coach for both my local and the US Special Olympic team and the "R" word is just not allowed EVER.

I have spent so much time trying to re-edutate my sisters and cousins (who all live back on Long Island and use the word every fercockta day), that it is demeaning and hurtful.

I will not get into a debate over whether the R word is worse than the N word. It's comparing apples to oranges. Both words are deragotory and meant ONLY to hurt. The main difference seems to be that the N word was CREATED for this purpose while the R word has been drafted into service to be hurtful and still has a very usable meaning.

 

[MAKmom]

The derogatory slang for Puerto Ricans is filtered out and of course the N word is as well. I would imagine the rotten word for gays is not compatible with The DIS filter. But I could easily get away with writing derogatory words for Italians, Polish, Middle Eastern, etc.

Just because it isn't filtered by The DIS, doesn't mean it isn't wrong. Also, I wouldn't get points b/c The Mods know I am not using it to call someone a name. I bet if somebody came on these boards and called a person w/special needs a name--They would MOST CERTAINLY get points.

I don't want to turn this into a "My community's hurtful words are worse than yours". They all are damaging. I just wanted to educate folks that my Title Word is very hurtful.

Your missing my point I must not have been clear. I am talking about the title of the thread would you ever use the N word as a title to " get our attention"? Even if it would not be filtered. It is a yes or no. My point being IMO most people would not.

 

[kdibattista]

Your missing my point I must not have been clear. I am talking about the title of the thread would you ever use the N word as a title to " get our attention"? Even if it would not be filtered. It is a yes or no. My point being IMO most people would not.

No, people would not. That's because the deragatory slang "retard" is acceptable, while "n" is not. That is the point of this thread. Neither should be acceptable.

 

[kdibattista]

Just wanted to add for anyone who seems to think this is not a big deal. As you know, my sister and niece how Downs (I post ad nauseum about them ). My brother was chapter president of his school's Best Buddies program, which pairs a developmentally disabled student with another student. My brother has maintained contact with all his buddies of the years. He got a phone call one evening from one his buddies who was hysterically crying. He was calling from a bus and there was a group of kids calling each other "retard" and couldn't understand why they were being so mean. They weren't directed it at him (as far as my brother could gather)... they were directing it at each other. Those developmentally disabled know the difference when it's deragatory and when it's not and it hurts them.... terribly. They already struggle enough in this life... they don't need to have anything added to it and neither do their loved ones.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

No, themeselves. Why try to make it more than it is?

I'm not trying to make it anymore than it is, just wanted clarification because frankly I hear different races using the N word.

 

[momof2inPA]

As someone who has a developmentally delayed sister, I find the "R" word just as offensive as the "N" word, and it hurts me to hear it. Does it hurt me as much as it hurts a black person to hear the "N" word? I have no idea. I'm not them. They're not me. Both words should be avoided. In my experience, people who use either or both words aren't the brightest bulbs in the package, anyway. Parents who tolerate their children using either, generally aren't the best parents.

 

[Tiffer]

Sorry I totally disagree. I think it has to do with personal experience probably.

But in society as a whole..it just isn't the same. Although I don't use the word and think it is wrong to use it.

If it is just as bad would you title a thread with the N word? It is up there with Idiot or moron. Also you will not get points for this thread.

Your missing my point I must not have been clear. I am talking about the [B]title of the thread would you ever use the N word as a title to " get our attention[/B]"? Even if it would not be filtered. It is a yes or no. My point being IMO most people would not.

Exactly what I was going to say. The "N" word would NEVER even be used as a title of a thread to make a point.

There are many words that are degrating and socially unacceptable, but I can't think of many that are as bad as the "N" bomb.