I can easily been seen as a PITA customer when it comes down to having two boys 6 & under in addition to having to ask about 6 main allergens and most likely to see ingredient labels or to speak with a chef about prep options. And...i tip well for my inconveniencing when I can get the help that I need. (BTW, knowing that I require more attention, any restaurant trip usually involves reconn like checking website nutritional info and calling a manager in non-lunch/dinner hours to talk about our dining options)
I have had to leave restaurants when either the server couldn't figure out how to answer my question and/or the manager was unresponsive. It is disgraceful how often I will get a blanket, "yes, all our bread contains egg" (even from supervisors who are too lazy to check) when I've checked the corporate website and know a thing or two about cooking and common ingredients. I try to be understanding and trying to weigh attitude vs. training as some servers think that saying "i don't *think* the fries have egg in them". That's not an answer I can work with, but maybe they haven't been trained properly on how to handle a request like that. [/soapbox]
again, if someone is going to work with me (or at least be agreeable to getting a chef and taking my requests seriously) and do what they can to make our meal enjoyable i'm going the full 20-30% (pre tax). I feel it's my responsibility to give positive reinforcement back so that a request for ingredient information just doesn't get shut down for the next family (i actually was told in almost a Pretty Woman boutique style scene at a french bakery in town when i asked about egg/nuts, that "We Have Nothing For You Here. Nothing. Thank YOU." LOL)
FWIW, part of my hyper-planning at DLR is tied to at meal time being at known 'safe house' restaurants where there is a chef on site making the food that is able to customize a meal for us. Carnation, Cafe Orleans, Red's Rocket are all excellent. We had to get up and leave Wine Country Trat because they couldn't substitute a pasta from an adult entree to a kids entree--or for that matter even just give us a bowl of butter pasta!
i think it is also sad when people turn into vacation tippers and whereas they would normally tip moderately well at regular establishments, when at conferences and vacation spots where they don't have to worry about the return visit, they don't tip well at all. I worked at a local resort steak house and guests were taken aback by the higher entree prices ($18-$49) and even though the meal, the service, the conversation was great i'd get a $5 on a $150 check. I guess if nobody sees them do it, then it doesn't count?