Requesting your childs classroom teacher?

[Bob NC]

Then he gets in trouble for goofing off and/or talking.

Maybe a good request would be to have your son stop goofing off and talking.

 

[MAGICX2]

Maybe a good request would be to have your son stop goofing off and talking.

Sorry, but we have worked on this repeatedly. In Kindergarten he was given first grade work to work on when he was finished at his "centers." Because he would get done with the work before any of the other children and then want to talk and play around. He was a 5 yo for peet's sake.

He is a very social and outgoing child who loves to interact with others. I was even afraid of the whole ADD/ADHD stigma (I totally do not mean any disrespect to anyone with this statement) being placed on him, but the teachers as well as the counselor assured me that this was not the case. The Kindergarten teacher told me point blank that she was running out of things for him to do. We are a large district. There were 7 kindergarten classes and 8 first grade classes. His first grade teacher had gone on maternity leave in April the year he was in K. So when she came back in the fall she really didn't want to be there. She was out at least once a week leaving a sub to her class. Her heart was just not in it this last year and she had a very short fuse. At one point they were sending DS to advanced reading with the 2nd graders, but said that they could not put him into advanced classes until 3rd grade. This is one of the major reasons we want a teacher that will gel with him. Someone who is energetic and excited about what they are doing and are happy to have a child that challenges them as much as they challenge the child. (In a good way.)

Thanks for all the responses. A lot of good advice has been given here, but I am still undecided on what to do. I know there are two teachers I will definitely de-request because I have seen them in action and they are YELLERS! DS does not respond to yelling well. He is very good at tuning it out.

 

[Terry36]

Sorry, but we have worked on this repeatedly. In Kindergarten he was given first grade work to work on when he was finished at his "centers." Because he would get done with the work before any of the other children and then want to talk and play around. He was a 5 yo for peet's sake.

He is a very social and outgoing child who loves to interact with others. I was even afraid of the whole ADD/ADHD stigma (I totally do not mean any disrespect to anyone with this statement) being placed on him, but the teachers as well as the counselor assured me that this was not the case. The Kindergarten teacher told me point blank that she was running out of things for him to do. We are a large district. There were 7 kindergarten classes and 8 first grade classes. His first grade teacher had gone on maternity leave in April the year he was in K. So when she came back in the fall she really didn't want to be there. She was out at least once a week leaving a sub to her class. Her heart was just not in it this last year and she had a very short fuse. At one point they were sending DS to advanced reading with the 2nd graders, but said that they could not put him into advanced classes until 3rd grade. This is one of the major reasons we want a teacher that will gel with him. Someone who is energetic and excited about what they are doing and are happy to have a child that challenges them as much as they challenge the child. (In a good way.)

Thanks for all the responses. A lot of good advice has been given here, but I am still undecided on what to do. I know there are two teachers I will definitely de-request because I have seen them in action and they are YELLERS! DS does not respond to yelling well. He is very good at tuning it out.

See bolded above. Bottom line, do what is best for YOUR son!

 

[Terry36]

Maybe a good request would be to have your son stop goofing off and talking.

WTH!

 

[RUDisney]

I have a friend who was ALWAYS at the school doing something, working, volunteering, just chatting you get the idea. She got every teacher she wanted for EVERY one of her children. This people, is how it is done!

That's how I've gotten my DD into the classes of the teachers I wanted. Well that and the fact that she has an IEP for reading and so I've gotten close to the itinerant reading staff. They've worked with me to get her into the right classrooms. She actually was pulled out of itinerant support for the last quarter of 5th grade and did better than ever on her report card.

I have a friend who absolutely refused to allow her son into one of the 3rd grade teacher's classrooms. Guess who her DS got? Yep, THAT teacher. My friend went to the office and told them that she would not allow her DS to be subjected to that teacher. Her DS had her as a permanent sub in 1st grade for part of the year and came home crying each day. She was a screamer who didn't teach and gave 3 hours of homework per night to the 3rd graders. My friend's request was honored and her DS was moved into another classroom. The principal was concerned that maybe she was trying to get her DS into a class with more of his friends, but my friend was adament that it was all about the teacher and not about his friends.

 

[freckles and boo]

I have never requested a teacher, but I have requested that my daughter be placed in a different classroom than her best friend (who happens to live rigth next door). Her BFF is fiercely competitive and has to be the best at everything, all the time. My daughter can roll with it socially, but at school it was a huge distraction. It also made my kid feel like crap no matter how well she was doing with her classwork, and I was sick of it. I approached the principal with a "I know this is asking a lot, but..." attitude and she was very understanding about it.

 

[Disney Doll]

Sorry, but we have worked on this repeatedly. In Kindergarten he was given first grade work to work on when he was finished at his "centers." Because he would get done with the work before any of the other children and then want to talk and play around. He was a 5 yo for peet's sake.

He is a very social and outgoing child who loves to interact with others. I was even afraid of the whole ADD/ADHD stigma (I totally do not mean any disrespect to anyone with this statement) being placed on him, but the teachers as well as the counselor assured me that this was not the case. The Kindergarten teacher told me point blank that she was running out of things for him to do. We are a large district. There were 7 kindergarten classes and 8 first grade classes. His first grade teacher had gone on maternity leave in April the year he was in K. So when she came back in the fall she really didn't want to be there. She was out at least once a week leaving a sub to her class. Her heart was just not in it this last year and she had a very short fuse. At one point they were sending DS to advanced reading with the 2nd graders, but said that they could not put him into advanced classes until 3rd grade. This is one of the major reasons we want a teacher that will gel with him. Someone who is energetic and excited about what they are doing and are happy to have a child that challenges them as much as they challenge the child. (In a good way.)

Thanks for all the responses. A lot of good advice has been given here, but I am still undecided on what to do. I know there are two teachers I will definitely de-request because I have seen them in action and they are YELLERS! DS does not respond to yelling well. He is very good at tuning it out.

Since finishing his work quickly seems to be the root of his problem (in that he then has free time to goof around), whatever teacher he gets, perhaps you could ask him/her if you could find workbooks or extracredit stuff that he could bring with him to schoool to do once his assigned work is finished.

My brother and I were both like this in school...fast workers who finished before everyone else and then started futzing around with everyone else and getting them and ourselves into trouble. My mother spoke with our teacher and found workbooks that had work that supported what we were learning, and she sent them in to the teacher to be used as "extra" work when we finished the assigned work. Kept us busy and out of trouble, we were doing something where we were learning stuff, the teacher was happy. The teacher actually got to the point where she too would find appropriate extra work for us to. I feel like it enhanced our learning, & it certainly kept us out of trouble.

 

[SpecialK]

Maybe a good request would be to have your son stop goofing off and talking.

My youngest sounds a lot like your son. Finished all the work fast and then would start talking. We didn't put it on the teacher though. Took us all of third grade, but he came to understand that being finished was no excuse for poor behavior. We made sure he always had a book to read after his work was finished.

So - in essence - I agree with the above.

 

[5lilfish]

Our elementary school has a "no request" policy. My son is a wonderful student and usually is well-loved by his teachers, but there is a certain type of teacher that he does not do well with. I try to keep a little closer tabs on his placement. Thankfully, he's in middle school now and they take requests. I've worked with his guidance councelor to have him placed with the best match for him. She has been wonderful about looking out for him.

My girls are much more go-with-the-flow. I have "de-requested" a few teachers due to personal experiences.

Truthfully, though, even with a "no request" policy, I believe it's ok to state your opinion. If you have reasons (beyond hearing they are the best teacher), I think you should write a letter giving all your reasons for thinking your child should, or should not be placed with a particular teacher. I know that goes against the "no request" policy, but IMO you and the administration are on the same team. It is to everyone's benefit that your child be matched with the right teacher and if you have some insight into that process, you should speak up.

I also agree that you shouldn't put too much stock into what one or two people say about a teacher. My son had a terrible teacher match in 3rd grade. This lady was horrible with him...but she wasn't a bad teacher to about 90% of her kids. She just doesn't do well with a certain type of child. When people ask why I don't want my other kids to have this lady (I have no trust in her after our first experience...even though my DD's would probably be fine with her), I am careful to tell them that their child would probably do very well with this teacher.

Jess

 

[Marla Hellwig]

At our elem school - you could 'request' a certain teacher - one time - period

Her last year - there were 3 teachers - 2 female 1 male - I requested the male and the principal agreed that having the male influence every day would be great for her - since I am a single parent and she didn't have much male influence day to day

So she was set for the male teacher

2 days before school started, principal called to let me know that the male teacher was retiring and she would be with his replacement - female

She ended up having a pretty good year - in spite of everything

 

[TomLovesBecky]

You could not do this in our school district at all, they don't take requests and won't move a child unless there is a BUNCH of negative problems throughout the school year, but by then the damage is already done. This is why we no longer deal with the public schools here. Frankly it isn't fair that ANY kid has to deal with a lousy teacher, but that's the way it is sometimes. If I were you I'd call the principal and express my concerns but as others have said I bet the teacher assignment is already done for this year and your district may not allow reassignment without cause.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

I know there are two teachers I will definitely de-request because I have seen them in action and they are YELLERS! DS does not respond to yelling well. He is very good at tuning it out.

I would flip a lid if I knew teachers were YELLING at kids in school, any kids, mine or anybody else's. You can be reprimanded and fired for that here (I have several close friends who are teachers and they say it's a huge no-no). There is still a horrible teacher in the public system that I know of (could be more, she is just the one I am personally aware of due to experience) but she is not a yeller. She would have been fired long ago for that!

 

[merekc]

I am not flaming, nor do I wish to be flamed.. However, here are my two cents worth of stories.

1. My older sister heard how terrible Ms. C was (mainly from other kids) so she prayed all summer long to not get her. Was devastated when she found out she got Ms. C. She ended up being one of her favorite teachers of all time. Both sisters and I all ended up with Ms. C and we would all say she was one of our best teachers - Not only did we love her, but we learned alot. I agree with everyone who says that kids/families interact and have different experiences with any given teacher.

2. My parents would never go to the school to "defend" or "save" us kids. They knew my sister didn't want Ms. C, but they didn't put in a request not to have her. If we got in trouble at school, they didn't go in to defend us. We knew that if we got in trouble at school, we were in trouble at home. (By the way, I'm in my early 30's, not someone from the good, old days). They believed in teaching us that you need to learn to deal with what you get in life.

I know other familes we are close to that took the opposite approach and always requested their kids' teachers and went to the school if their kid got in trouble to find out why junior was accused of whatever.

I turned out pretty well. My siblings and I are all able to deal with real life including disappointment and do not rely on our parents to bail us out. Kids from these other families (in the instances that come to my mind), still rely on mom and dad to solve all their problems. Coincidence, IMHO I don't think so.

School is one of your first great lessons on life. In my opinion, kids need to learn to deal with what they get. Parents need to remember that teachers are not out to get kids, they are there to teach. Are there going to be teachers that are past needing to retire?- YES! Are there going to be teachers that are not going to be back next year because they suck? - YES! Just like some day your kid will work for someone that is totally incompetent and a jerk and they will have to know how to deal with it. It is part of life.

With that said, do what you think is right. I know for myself I will try not to interfer with my kid's education unless it is a major issue that I truly feel is harmful to my kid.

 

[MAGICX2]

I would flip a lid if I knew teachers were YELLING at kids in school, any kids, mine or anybody else's. You can be reprimanded and fired for that here (I have several close friends who are teachers and they say it's a huge no-no). There is still a horrible teacher in the public system that I know of (could be more, she is just the one I am personally aware of due to experience) but she is not a yeller. She would have been fired long ago for that!

I volunteered two days a week for two hours at a time for a teacher other than my DS's in K and in 1st. This 2nd grade teacher could be heard "raising her voice" (as the other teachers would call it) in the K hallway. She would sometimes be very belittling to the child in question. I do not condone this in any way and do not want my DS subjected to this on a daily basis.

 

[Chipmunk89]

We have the same "no-request" policy, but you can "De-request". And parents request and derequest ALL the time. And I have done it too. We moved to this district when DS was starting 1st grade. DS and teacher just did not click. (Outside of class, I loved his teacher. They were just not the right match in class.) Teacher was always on DS. Too slow, too neat, too talkative, messy desk, and sit still....Now, mind you, I volunteered in the class every day. And I could see how differently DS was treated. We were new and did not want to create waves.
But I did request a teacher for and grade. And we got her! DS loved his teacher. I let her know that 1st grade teacher thought DS had ADD/ADHD, to please keep an eye on him and tell me if she thought the same. She said she didn't see. Same with 3rd grade. I requested 2 teachers. DS got my first choice. He did wonderful! He earned Academic Excellence. Now 4th is right around the corner. We didn't request/derequest. The teacher I would have derequested is the Honors Math teacher. The teacher I would have requested is the Honors Reading teacher. DS8 will get both teachers this year. So it should be interesting.

 

[MAGICX2]

I am not flaming, nor do I wish to be flamed.. However, here are my two cents worth of stories.

1. My older sister heard how terrible Ms. C was (mainly from other kids) so she prayed all summer long to not get her. Was devastated when she found out she got Ms. C. She ended up being one of her favorite teachers of all time. Both sisters and I all ended up with Ms. C and we would all say she was one of our best teachers - Not only did we love her, but we learned alot. I agree with everyone who says that kids/families interact and have different experiences with any given teacher.

2. My parents would never go to the school to "defend" or "save" us kids. They knew my sister didn't want Ms. C, but they didn't put in a request not to have her. If we got in trouble at school, they didn't go in to defend us. We knew that if we got in trouble at school, we were in trouble at home. (By the way, I'm in my early 30's, not someone from the good, old days). They believed in teaching us that you need to learn to deal with what you get in life.

I know other familes we are close to that took the opposite approach and always requested their kids' teachers and went to the school if their kid got in trouble to find out why junior was accused of whatever.

I turned out pretty well. My siblings and I are all able to deal with real life including disappointment and do not rely on our parents to bail us out. Kids from these other families (in the instances that come to my mind), still rely on mom and dad to solve all their problems. Coincidence, IMHO I don't think so.

School is one of your first great lessons on life. In my opinion, kids need to learn to deal with what they get. Parents need to remember that teachers are not out to get kids, they are there to teach. Are there going to be teachers that are past needing to retire?- YES! Are there going to be teachers that are not going to be back next year because they suck? - YES! Just like some day your kid will work for someone that is totally incompetent and a jerk and they will have to know how to deal with it. It is part of life.

With that said, do what you think is right. I know for myself I will try not to interfer with my kid's education unless it is a major issue that I truly feel is harmful to my kid.

I agree with you for the most part. I do not jump to the rescue of my DS during the school year. We have a policy about trouble in school, trouble at home. They have a "moving your clip" policy at our school. Each child is given a magnet clip. They move it to green for a warning=warning and discussion about behavior when they get home. They move it to yellow,10 min lost recess=Loss of tv/computer privlidges at home for the evening. They move it to orange, lose whole recess=loss of all privlidges for the evening and must do siblings chores for the day. They move it to red, visit to principles office=Loss of all privlidges for entire week.
Now, my son has only gone to orange once since he started school, and that was this past year. His moves usually consist of green and yellow, and it is usually for talking/goffing off.
We do let our children deal with the situation they are dealt, but I will not knowingly subject DS or DD to a teacher who I believe over steps their bounds by yelling/belittling a child.

 

[merekc]

I like the home punishment in correlation to the magnet system at school. We have something similar at school. I think I will incorporate a similar at home policy. We haven't had to deal with this yet, but best to be prepared. Thanks for the idea.

 

[MM27]

When I was student teaching, one of the things I noticed was that it is not necessarily a bad thing to be "that parent." The teachers did actually tend to bend over backwards to be careful with the children of "that parent" because they knew they'd hear about it otherwise!

Teresa

I can tell you, I for one do not "bend over backwards" just because a child has "that parent". My students are all important to me and just because they have a pushy parent I'm not going to walk on eggshells and give them better educational opportunities than a child without "that parent".

I know it happens because I had a student this year whose mother expected me to be that teacher and it didn't happen. The thing is she requested me.

Personally, if you think your child will do better with one teacher over another, request them if your school allows it. Isn't it all about your child being successful in school? I know my principal asks parents WHY they want a particular teacher.

Just be careful about what you choose. We have a teacher that all the kids want because she's "nice" but I can tell you every time I walk past her classroom she is sitting at her computer while the kids are working at their desks. As I tell my students as they are getting ready for the next grade, you want the teacher that is going to help you learn the most.

 

[GJM]

Our school also has a "no request" policy, I am actually OK with it. My DS started this new school towards the end of lst. grade. The teacher wanted to hold him back, we had him tutored over the summer and he went on to 2nd. grade.

His 2nd. grade teacher was wonderful, I can't say enough nice things about her. He did so well in her class and loved going to school everyday. She gave him the confidence in school and he scored higher then expected on this year end testing.

I did meet with the principal to discuss and mention that we just want to try and stay on the same track for 3rd. grade, my DS also does not do well with teachers yelling (yes, we have them in our school, I have seen it). I didn't request any certain teacher, because I really don't know which one would be good. Just that he would do well with a teacher like in 2nd. grade.

And I did mention that my DH will be depolyed in Sept. for a year, and I am sure that will affect my DS.

She was very nice and took wrote down all my concerns and told me they had new teachers coming in next year also, and they are great.

So we will see. After our problem with lst. grade and the teacher wanting to hold him back, I never realized how much you have to fight for your kids in school. If we let that happen, it would have been a huge setback for our DS.

 

[DevilDuckie]

When I was student teaching, one of the things I noticed was that it is not necessarily a bad thing to be "that parent." The teachers did actually tend to bend over backwards to be careful with the children of "that parent" because they knew they'd hear about it otherwise!

Teresa

That people cater to entitlement b.s to get them to shut up does not make it a good thing to be an entitlement b.