Oh Kimmy, I'm so sorry that your family is giving you a hard time...this isn't something you need, on top of all the other stress you have with classes, planning for a wedding, etc.
I believe the bottom line (regarding the reception) is that you're an adult, who will be married to the love-of-your life soon, which makes his family, your family. If your mom cannot accept that they need to be invited too, then you might consider having your own open house/reception at you and your husbands house, or the local park like you suggested. If you throw it yourself, YOU can decide who to invite. That is what me and DH had decided to do when we got married....but unfortunately, we got caught up in new jobs and moved before we got to carry out our plans.
Why, oh why, do parents have to be difficult at the worse times?!
As to the showers...since you have everything you need already, I think I'd just say something like "I'm sorry Mom, but this is the man I love, and his family is my family too. You are putting me in an incredibly awkward position, by alienating my future family, I'd rather not have a shower at all than hurt people I love". She really needs to realize that leaving them out now will set the tone for the rest of the marriage by spliting up between the two families. I'd still go ahead and let DF's family throw a shower for you, and let them invite your family...most people (especially moms), don't like to be "outdone", and maybe then your mom would change her mind about the whole "we aren't going to invite them" attitude. Plus it would give them a chance to meet and get to know each other.
Those are just some ideas anyway...it's so hard giving advise when you're not aware of all the family dynamics.
Anyway, about the buttons, I'll be more than happy to try to get you some, it's no problem!! I'll also keep my eye out for the cake serving sets!
You take care, and try not to stress too much. If all else fails, leave them ALL behind and just elope on the Disney Dream!!
