Relocating

[Frances999]

DH and I went out for lunch today (a rare luxury!) and he told me that he has been asked to move out to near San Francisco, California in 2007 for 10 months. A major part of his job is travelling (usually to the Far East) but never for more than a few days. His company will pay for a house and car during the time period - but I am unsure about the whole idea. I don't want to disrupt our children's education/friendships and it would be a difficult concept moving half-way across the globe. Obviously we have a long time to think about this, but I was wondering if any of you have ever done something similar?

The idea is optional - his work are not enforcing it - but it would be "difficult" if he could not go. Obviously he could go by himself, but 10 months is a long time, even with numerous visits. However, I don't know how the children will adapt - the education system, way-of-life, lifestyle - all this is different.....this will be a difficult decision

 

[natalielongstaff]

personally i would go for it ! 10mths is not a huge amount of time and im sure your children would benefit a lot. that said i know its a big step so i can understand your feelings,.

you never know till you've done it i suppose

 

[wilma-bride]

Obviously it's a big decision and not one you can take lightly. Depending on the ages of your children, it may be a huge upheaval just for 10 months. On the other hand, children adjust well and it would be a great experience for you all.

We are in a similar situation in that, today, DH has been told he will not be moving back to where our home is so we have to consider whether I will return there alone or whether we will all move together - to wherever!

Whatever you decide, Frances, I am sure you will make the decision based on what is best ofr you and your family. Good luck with your decision

PS If you decide to go, can I come and visit you

ETA: Due to my Dad's and now DH's job, I have moved around a lot over the years. As a child, I went overseas a couple of times and it did take some getting used to. Even at the moment, we are still a long way from home (it feels like it anyway). It can be very hard to adjust to a new place, where you know nobody and things are unfamiliar but I do it because the option to stay where I am without DH is not the preferable one (tried it for 6 months and HATED it). Another thing I would say is it is a LOT EASIER to handle as a child than as an adult. If you would like any more advice or to chat a bit more about your options, feel free to PM me

 

[Miffy2003]

What a tough one Frances.

I think I would go for it. What a marvellous life experience to have for your children - they aren't at exam age yet, are they? I am thinking if they were you might not be as keen?

I think this could be a wonderful opportunity. But as you say, such a difficult decision!

 

[mandymouse]

If it was me, I would go for it, but it all depends on your kids and their ages, if they are young they would probably find it easier to adjust, if they are older I would worry about exams etc. It will obviously take a lot of thought though, but what a great opportunity, just take your time in making your decision

 

[Frances999]

Thanks for the replies

Our children are 3, 5 (soon 6) and 7 (soon 8).

ETA: Due to my Dad's and now DH's job, I have moved around a lot over the years. As a child, I went overseas a couple of times and it did take some getting used to. Even at the moment, we are still a long way from home (it feels like it anyway). It can be very hard to adjust to a new place, where you know nobody and things are unfamiliar but I do it because the option to stay where I am without DH is not the preferable one (tried it for 6 months and HATED it). Another thing I would say is it is a LOT EASIER to handle as a child than as an adult. If you would like any more advice or to chat a bit more about your options, feel free to PM me

Thanks, Joh. It will be difficult to adjust to an unfamiliar place, but what you say about being away from your DH for 6 months and hating it is making me feel I would feel the same way.

I think it would certainly be a life-enhancing step. We are going to look into the area where we would stay, the schooling, the access to airports etc. We need to have a decision made by March, so there is a while yet.

Thanks again

 

[KayleeUK]

How exciting for you I think I would go for it. 10 months is a long time to be without him for both you and the children.

 

[vicky1bfc]

I would go.What a wonderful experiance it would be for you all.Your lucky as your children are still quite young and at that age i think they seem to settle more quickly.Kid's can make friends with the click of a finger so i wouldn't worry about that.I would be more concerned as to if i could settle but 10 months really isn't that long.

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[ely3857]

How exciting for you I think I would go for it. 10 months is a long time to be without him for both you and the children.

Ditto, but it is easy for us to say when we dont need to decide!



Jodie

 

[florida sun]

Good Luck to you Frances in whatever you decide, I know this must be a really tough call to make.


Sue

 

[wils]

I lived in the Middle East between 8 and 11 and found it a great experience.

I think I'd go for it but I can understand your aprehension. My parents were lucky enough to be able to go to Dubai on a 'look see' trip before making a decision though I guess nowadays the internet can help answer a lot of questions!

You have plenty of time to mull it over (I'd post on the main community or the family board requesting information about the area etc.)

I'm sure you'll be able to work out what's best and you can always sound ideas out on us!

Good luck

 

[disneyholic family]

your kids are at easy ages for something like this....

as is obvious from some of my posts, i have been dragged around the globe from the time i was in diapers (a great deal of my childhood and teen years spent in various places in the Far East.....as well as some in Europe)....

it was very easy when i was young, much more difficult when i was a teen......but i still liked it even then....but some teens really have a terrible time with it, but since your kids aren't that age, no need to consider teen problems..

in any case, your kids' ages are no problem....
well....not no problem at all, but any difficulties they have in school will be made up for by the experience of living and going to school in america....

of course, the 3 year old won't really remember.....the 6 year old will remember some of it.....and the 8 year old will most certainly be altered by the experience...most likely in a good way...

but all of this assumes that you can handle change....if you freak out, your kids will freak out...
my parents were always very adaptable....as am i (so my kids have survived relatively well as DH and I have moved around the globe)...

however, i've seen spouses who've had a terrible time adjusting to the change and as a result their kids don't do as well as they might otherwise.....

but from your posts, you seem to have your feet on the ground, so that shouldn't be a problem...

You say near SF, which could be many places....i don't know what your husband does, but if he's in high tech, one of the big high tech areas near SF is San Jose....a very nice place....extremely expensive, but since the company will provide housing you don't have to worry about that..
in fact, all of the SF area is extremely expensive.....one of the most expensive areas in all of the US....but if they're paying for your housing that's good..
you need to be careful about the area you pick to live in, but that's obvious..

you will probably also need a second car, but cars are cheaper than in the UK, so that shouldn't be too much of a problem either...

10 months isn't a very long time so you won't be away from family for too long...make sure that 10 months is written in a contract somewhere, or you might end up getting stuck there for longer....

also make sure that his compensation is high enough to pay for the very high cost of living in the SF area....it is really extraordinarily high....don't be fooled by how cheap things are in orlando...SF is a lot lot lot more expensive....

so i guess, given the above, i'm saying that you should go for it....

good luck in making your decision....and be sure your husband is very careful about what he negotiates with his company regarding the relocation.....

 

[jns]

if it was me
I would go for it
life is too short
your children are not too old / young

 

[Cyrano]

Frances I'm sure you'll decide on what is best.
For me I'd jump at the change as it is a wonderful way to be see a different country and new experiences

 

[Claire L]

Sounds like a wonderful experience for the whole family. I had a friend when growing up who went to DC as her Dad was in the Royal Navy, whenever she came home and told us of how much fun she was having we were all jealous at school!
Go for it as it is only 10 months
Claire

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

If you don't want to go I'll go instead!!!!!

Seriously, I LOVE San Francisco and would chew off my own leg for an opportunity to live in the area - even for 10 months. As others have said, your children will grow from an experience like this - it will give them a wider outlook on life and offer them a lot of new things.

It will also mean that your family can be together - this is more important than anything.

My vote is to go for it - let's be honest 10 months isn't THAT long even if you loathe and detest the place (which I doubt very much).

 

[diberry]

I'd definitely go for it too!! Such a wonderful opportunity for all of you. And think of the original Disneyland!!!!!

 

[gilld]

We have friends who did just that for a year, a few years back. Their children were similar ages to yours and they LOVED San Francisco.

We also have friends who went to Singapore for a year and had a wonderful time. Both families thought of it as an adventure and they were visited often by family and frineds. Go for it.

 

[catherine]

DH is from San Jose and I lived there for 10 years. We moved back when our eldest DD was 2. We have considered moving back several times and one of the reasons that we haven't is because of the education system in CA. As much as DMIL wants her DS and DGS living close by she suggested that we actually stay here until the girls are finished with their education as she feels that they will lose out if we move back. So I guess my biggest concern would be will the children have to start catching up when you move back in 10 months time. Having said that I just love the Bay Area and I would recommend it to anyone. There is so much to see and do and your children don't just learn in the classroom. As somebody already mentioned it is exremely expensive in San Francisco and the Bay Area in general, and childcare is astronomical, so you might want to consider that. All in all I would say go for it. I'm sure that you and your children will have an awesome experience!

 

[carolfoy]

What a wonderful opportunity! If my kids were up for it I'd go in a second, in fact if I wouldn't get exhusband and family problems I'd have taken my son miles away long before now!, If your kids think it'd be ok then dispell any doubts, after all a year or so is not long.