Relatives might be coming....worried!

[Castillo Mom]

First let me say that I love my SIL and niece, and I get along very well with my BIL. I just found out that there's a good chance they may be going to WDW around the same time as us. My kids are older, 10, 12 and almost 15. My niece is 2. My SIL so far is planning on staying off site at her brother's timeshare and getting 5 day park hoppers. We, on the other hand are staying onsite and already have our PSs in place. She has no PS planned at all. I have a definite itinerary I want to stick to and it'll pretty much be go, go, go with the exception of daily breaks to rest/swim. We're also going to Universal and staying onsite and will have FOTL access. She already asked if there was a way we could switch off with our room keys so they could get FOTL on some of the rides and I said no because they're ecrypted with the name and age of the person it belongs to. She says she doesn't expect us to hang out all of the time because of the difference in our children's ages. I'm just not sure how we're going to make this work if they end up coming. I've been planning this vacation, our first at WDW, for 2 years now so this is a very special trip. I fear this could cause big problems. What to do!

 

[missydisney]

Wow I have been there. I would just be honest with her up front that you have been planning this for your family to spend time together and that all your plans have been made. Since you are staying in different locations maybe you could arrange to meet for a while one day or two. But I would let her know you have made PS and want to spend some quality family time with your kids.
Not being honest can lead to hard feelings and can really ruin your fun time. Better to make it clear what time you can spend together before you leave.
This is just my opinion but I have had relatives decide to join us on vacation and have traveled with friends. Better to have a clear understanding in advance. Hope it works out the way you want.

 

[Eeyore2003]

Something like this happened to me this year also. Last summer when my brother and family started talking about WDW, we asked my sister (not married), if she'd like to come also, so that it would be all of us. At first she said she would and we started making reservations for a two bedroom at OKW. Then she backed out, so my brother and I changed our plans to two studios. A few months ago, she asked if she could now go. I just said that we had our rooms set, our meal reservations all made and the schedule is really been planned minute by minute and very full. I just didn't know how I could adjust it anymore as we had been planning this for a year now. My children are grown, so it's just DH and myself from our family, and my niece and nephew are 8 and 11. I spent allot of time with them discussing our plans, ressies, breaks, rides etc. as I'm sure you did with your family. Even though I'm quite a bit older than my sister, we are very close and after I nicely said that we just couldn't change our plans at this late time, she didn't mention it again. If you can work getting together with them for a meal or some special time, that would be the MAX I would be able to fit in, and if this didn't work, I'd just be honest. It sounds like she certainly has no idea to the work and planning involved.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Yep, it seems that the only thing to do is let her know right up front that you will only be available for (fill in the blank) as you have scheduled the entire trip, including meals.

I'd be a little concerned about the request to use your FOTL passes. That has an air of "taking advantage" about it. You did quite well in your response to that.

Should you be alert to her potentially asking you, or one of your older children to babysit while you are all there? You might want a reply ready for that, if it is a possibility.

Take care now and enjoy your holiday. Sounds like you've put quite a bit of thought, and care and planning into it. Enjoy every minute!

 

[zurgswife]

Yep I would preschedule one or 2 times during your trip to include them....for a set amount of time....say like an hour or 2 before a PS so you can leave a a specific time....

But so there aren't any hurt feelings I'd make sure I'd schedule some time..

 

[Castillo Mom]

Originally posted by DVC~OKW~96
Yep, it seems that the only thing to do is let her know right up front that you will only be available for (fill in the blank) as you have scheduled the entire trip, including meals.

I'd be a little concerned about the request to use your FOTL passes. That has an air of "taking advantage" about it. You did quite well in your response to that.

Should you be alert to her potentially asking you, or one of your older children to babysit while you are all there? You might want a reply ready for that, if it is a possibility.

Take care now and enjoy your holiday. Sounds like you've put quite a bit of thought, and care and planning into it. Enjoy every minute!

You know, I didn't even think about a possible babysitting issue coming up. There's a distinct possibility she would ask my eldest son to watch my niece but I would have to say a resounding no because we're on vacation.

The other issue I have is that we were able to secure an Illuminations Cruise and knows about it. Knowing my niece, I don't think she'd enjoy it and she tends to be fussy. Again, don't get my wrong, she's a sweetheart but very temperamental. I know I may sound selfish, but I don't see us going back to WDW for quite some time and I want things to go as smoothly as possible.

 

[decker96]

I don't think you sound selfish at all. My sister and her family have expressed interest in coming with us on our next trip. Since it isn't until Oct. 2005, we've still got lots of time to plan, but we've already discussed that we won't be spending every waking moment together. It was hard to tell her that, but she totally understands. They have different things they want to do and they want to be alone as a family as well. We are planning on doing some things together -- character breakfast, MNSSHP and some touring, but we will also do things alone as well.
Being that you already have your PS's and have your plan in place, I would offer her a time when you think it is convenient to be with them. If she has no plans yet, she should be able to adapt. Even if it's only touring for an hour or so and eating lunch with them. Try to make her understand that WDW takes planning (some people just don't get that) and she can't expect you to forgo your carefully made plans just because they have decided to come at the last minute. Also, vacations are family time to be together without the craziness of day-to-day life. I'm sure she'll understand that you all want some quality time alone together. If you get along as well as you say, I wouldn't worry about it, I'm sure she'll understand.

 

[DisneyMim]

I agree with Zurgswife, you have to schedule some time or there will be hurt feelings. I have been there many times and I found the best way is to be honest about your schedule, tell them this is a special vacation for YOUR family, etc. etc. Then give them a couple of times you can spend time with them. Maybe one or two meals would be nice. Yes I know what your're thinking you already have your PS made, but you can call and add more people, I've done it many times so I know you can do it. We've been going to WDW since the 1970's and have had many times when family/friends have "messed up" our plans and I used to get upset, but now I just go with it. Some of our best times have been these times. Be sure to take some pictures of all of you. This will be much more important in years to come (trust me on this one). Some day you will look back and not remember the problems, you and your kids will remember the memories. I'm not saying to spend all your time together, (DO NOT DO THIS!!!), but a couple of hours will not hurt your vacation.

Have Fun!!!

 

[liabeea]

I have been planning a Thanksgiving trip for my family of 5 and word got out. Last count was 27 going. At least I've talked these guys into forgoing Christmas since we're all going together. NO presents to buy for this bunch, means more money for fun at WDW.

I'm planning Thanksgiving dinner for the group and have told them from there on out they are on their own. Our age range is from 18 months to 68 so needless to say there is no way we can stick together. I've directed them to the boards and other resources. It sounds like your families are different like mine and you could suggest the touring plan for small children to your sister.

Many Blessings
Lia

 

[Castillo Mom]

I agree. We made plans last week to go shopping today, so this morning I invited her over to my place so that I can help her put together a quick itinerary. It's going to be tough though because now she's considering staying onsite. I think it would be better for her. Money is a bit of an issue, but I'm going to help her run the numbers of what it would cost if she has to factor in car rental, parking fees, gas, etc. if not staying at Disney. If she decides on one of the values, it'll be much easier to put together an itinerary. Thanks of all of your suggestions!

 

[NancyIL]

I'll be at WDW the last week of October, and my sister, BIL and BIL's 4-year-old grandson (not related to me) will be there the first 3 days I'm there. When my sister asked if I'd be willing to babysit the little boy, I at first flat out said "no - they have babysitters there." My sister said, "Not even for a few hours?" If they were visiting me at my home and asked me to watch him while they went out, I wouldn't mind. But this is MY vacation, too!

 

[WDSearcher]

I think you might also want to consider the possibility that your SIL doesn't really want to get the two families together all that much, but feels obligated to because you'll both be in Florida at the same time.

It sounds as though it's more coincidence than planning that you and others in your family will be in Florida at the same time. It doesn't sound as though you guys had touched base about this beforehand -- she didn't ask if they could go along on your trip, and you didn't ask if you could tag along on theirs.

I say you ask her if there's something that all of you can do together, and then if you happen to run into each other elsewhere, play it by ear. Let her know you're open to all of you doing a "group activity" of some sort -- a few hours at DTD, for example, or gathering for the parade at MK -- but that you don't expect them to put their plans on hold for you either.

 

[Disney Debbie]

Are you planning to go to either of the water parks? If so, that's a good place to go with everyone. We met up with my brother and his family and my parents at BB last trip and the first thing we did was ride the family raft ride together. We also did the lazy river together a few times - and other then that we kind of did our own things. We had one central spot to meet up and we all ate lunch together as well.

Good luck - and I agree with all the folks that say be honest and up front NOW to avoid problems later.

 

[Star Wars Guy]

I'm lucky because my DW totally agrees with me about our trips to WDW being OUR family's vacation. When we've had relatives who were going to be there (or even travel with us), this is what we do.

1. Show them our daily itinerary including planned meals, etc.
2. Tell them that they are welcome to join us, but that this is OUR schedule and we stick to it.

This usually results in them meeting up with us are a couple points during the trip, but mainly we're still able to enjoy OUR vacation. It's not like we don't see them all the time either, so it's not like we're missing an opportunity to spend time with them.

As for the babysitting, we never have time to include that, and showing them the itinerary helps bring that point across.

 

[Lovetherodent]

Yes, go with the water park suggestion. Last year, some of my dh's family were in the World at the same time, staying off property. They're the get up late kind, and I did the early entry, break, evening schedule. I also had PSs made out in advance. Meeting at Typhoon Lagoon seemed to be the best thing ever. There was time to visit, time for the kids to play, etc. Our different touring styles didn't cause any problems because we were just hanging out at the "beach"