Regional Traditions

[deserrai]

I'm sorry but I just have to say something. I'm just so sick of hearing how people up north, especially NY and NJ, are rude. We are not rude. I hear please, and thank you all the time. People hold doors for me and I hold doors for them.

Northerners may be more direct but I'd rather know what people are thinking then get a "bless your heart" (which to me isn't polite at all).

I'm not saying any region is more polite than the other but southerners do not hold all the cards on manners and all northerners are not rude and unfriendly.

Sorry, this is a big pet peeve of mine, just had to rant!

I think part of why we (southerners) think people up north are rude is the way they talk. Very short and abrupt. Our office uses a consulting firm from Connecticut and when I first starting calling up there I remember thinking "Man, this woman is so rude!" However, I soon figured out it is just the way she came across and she was actually very nice.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

I think you just made a point. YOu are the first person to insult and where are you from?

Well, for those of us who ascribe to the linear theory of time, these insults seem to have come first. They may have been thinly veiled, in that "Southern polite backhanded passive aggressive" way, but they were insults none-the-less...

Good manners. I can't tell you how many people from other places comment on our good manners. We were raised that way and pinched and swatted when we didn't show good manners.

and...

Most southerners tend to be more friendly and talkative in public places. Like at the grocery store - people are a little more courteous. Down here (basically NY/NJ at the beach), people are generally pretty rude and unfriendly in public places.

and...

Texas,
Besides the ones already mentioned:
The manners - I love love love the manners!

As well as this peach, which implies again that the rest of the country lacks this...

The pride in God, State, Community and Country - Love it!

 

[mhsjax]

With over 7 million people living on one small island, not including those in Brooklyn and Queens, we have to use the left lane!

If we didn't , no one would get anywhere!!!

I bet. I am a 100% southern girl, but I don't do anything slow.

 

[mhsjax]

Well, for those of us who ascribe to the linear theory of time, these insults seem to have come first. They may have been thinly veiled, in that "Southern polite backhanded passive aggressive" way, but they were insults none-the-less...



and...



and...



As well as this peach, which implies again that the rest of the country lacks this...

YOu do realize that mamacatnv who loves the southern TX manners, isn't from the south, don't you?

 

[mamacatnv]

My DH the New Englander uses a buggy at the grocery store, I use a cart.

On the West Coast we have Mexican food, here in Texas the same food is called Tex-Mex.

Chow Mein in N. Calif and N. Nevada is made with noodles, in many other places it is made with all veggies, if you want noodles you order LoMein.

 

[deserrai]

I think ya'll should go back and revisit the multiple threads about saying yes ma'am and sir and calling adults by Ms, or Mrs and Mr. Last name. Most people form up north find saying ma'am and sir to be insulting. I think this is where the manners thing kicks in. YOu can't have it both ways. We consider it very good manners to say these things, yet many of the people here from up north consider it rude and sarcastic.

FWIW, I worked in a call center for years. There are VERY nice people everywhere and there are total jerks everywhere.

I did not find this out until I had a friend of my daughter's spend the night when she was in middle school. The girl's mother was from New York and when I asked her a question her response was "What?" I was very annoyed because the correct response is "Ma'am?" When I spoke to my daughter about it, she told me that it is insulting up north to say sir and ma'am. However, I consider her response rude. Even after my daughter told me that, I still find it rude. Just my southern breeding and I can't get beyond it.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

I think ya'll should go back and revisit the multiple threads about saying yes ma'am and sir and calling adults by Ms, or Mrs and Mr. Last name. Most people form up north find saying ma'am and sir to be insulting. I think this is where the manners thing kicks in. YOu can't have it both ways. We consider it very good manners to say these things, yet many of the people here from up north consider it rude and sarcastic.

FWIW, I worked in a call center for years. There are VERY nice people everywhere and there are total jerks everywhere.

I honestly have no idea what you are trying to say, but I think it is that you think your manners are correct, which means the fact that I do not ascribe to them is incorrect. That is subjective and proves my point. The fact that I do not say sir or ma'am does not have anything to do with my manners, so the fact that it is said in the South does not, ipso facto, make the South polite. It only means that in the South, sir and ma'am are appended to conversations as some sort of verbal tick. If I were to say "you know" as a verbal tick at the open of every sentence, you choosing to not add it does not make you impolite any more than my adding it makes me polite.

Actions speak a lot louder than words.

 

[mhsjax]

We are not all easily offended. I am offended when you post a generalization about an entire region. And then to top it off, you imply that we are ignorant regarding civil war history. So feel free to call me touchy if you wish. But you didn't like it when you felt that your region was being called rude. You called mine much more than that.

Total double standard.

 

[JaneBanks]

I guess I get no apology or at least an answer to my question?

 

[IheartMickey]

I'm not italian but I remember in school when it was manicotti day and kids saying they were getting man-a-cot-ee-- was like nails on a blackboard! I learned early from my italian speaking neighbors-mon a gaut

Yes! Thank you, I love you! It does drive me nuts when I hear people using the 'regular' pronunciation but now that I live in Florida I have to correct myself when they look at me strangely. I'm actually considering moving in a year or so closer to South Florida because there's more Italians and New Yorkers. Which means they have italian bakeries and delis. The things I can't get here in Central Florida is crazy, there's no italian butchers, no real italian bread (semolina) or pastries. And there's only one market about 25 miles away that sells the brand of canned crushed tomatoes we bought in NY.

I've also heard of South FL being called the 6th borough.

Oh and I'd much rather someone tell me to f--- off than the fake sweetness.

 

[deserrai]

My DS who just moved to GA, called me special from the grocery store to tell me there is BLUE BELL in Athens, GA!!!! (We're Okie transplants)

Which brings me to:

In VA, you do not go food shopping, you go grocery shopping.

Tea is sweet.

Coffee is always served with cream, even if it is milk.

Bless your heart is not ALWAYS "sweet rude".

Men in particular out in the country tend to have a softer, slower, not so twangy accent than deeper in the south.

In my particular area, folks get excited when it is oyster season, and also for soft shell crab sandwiches and shad roe.

Folks are quite "cliquey" here. Who are your people? And where are they from? Though everyone is friendly and polite.

But you can say anything about anyone if you follow it up with "Bless her heart."

 

[mhsjax]

I honestly have no idea what you are trying to say, but I think it is that you think your manners are correct, which means the fact that I do not ascribe to them is incorrect. That is subjective and proves my point. The fact that I do not say sir or ma'am does not have anything to do with my manners, so the fact that it is said in the South does not, ipso facto, make the South polite. It only means that in the South, sir and ma'am are appended to conversations as some sort of verbal tick. If I were to say "you know" as a verbal tick at the open of every sentence, you choosing to not add it does not make you impolite any more than my adding it makes me polite.

Actions speak a lot louder than words.

Yes they do. Bless your heart. By the way, if you don't like it down here, please feel free to leave or not to visit.

 

[JaneBanks]

Yes they do. Bless your heart.

So where is my apology for saying I was first to insult when I clearly wasn't? My response to you has gone completely ignored.

 

[mamacatnv]

I am really befuddled how someone would find the use of Ma'am and or Sir to be insulting and rude.
I'm not from the "North" persay, I'm from the West and while the use of Ma'am and Sir was not common place, I never found it insulting or rude.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I did not find this out until I had a friend of my daughter's spend the night when she was in middle school. The girl's mother was from New York and when I asked her a question her response was "What?" I was very annoyed because the correct response is "Ma'am?" When I spoke to my daughter about it, she told me that it is insulting up north to say sir and ma'am. However, I consider her response rude. Even after my daughter told me that, I still find it rude. Just my southern breeding and I can't get beyond it.

It all depends on how you say it. Its not like saying sir or ma'am is automatically insulting. Although ma'am tends to ruffle feathers more easily its not an outright insult. Usually the reaction is more like "oh, they called me ma'am. I must be getting old." I've never heard of anyone being insulted by being called sir unless it was very sarcastic.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

YOu do realize that mamacatnv who loves the southern TX manners, isn't from the south, don't you?

What does that have to do with the price of rice? You do realize there are people all over the place in their opinions, don't you? And stating that there are manners in Texas implies there are not manners elsewhere, regardless of where she came from?

Regardless, going back to the linear concept of time, who insulted whom, first?

 

[JaneBanks]

I am really befuddled how someone would find the use of Ma'am and or Sir to be insulting and rude.
I'm not from the "North" persay, I'm from the West and while the use of Ma'am and Sir was not common place, I never found it insulting or rude.

I really don't think it is insulting or rude, it's just not done. When speaking to a stranger you may say "Excuse me, Miss/Sir" but we don't address everyone like that.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

Its insulting to many here to be ma'am'd!

barbecue is anything cooked outside on a barbecue- not this pulled pork stuff.... could be chicken, burgers, hotdogs...anything

See, wee don't call the cooker a barbecue, either. We call them grills. And I agree that pulled pork is not barbecue. Here in Texas, brisket is king of barbecue, but we also include sausage and ribs in that grouping. Pulled pork? No. You want a sandwich? No problem. We will chop up some brisket for you.

My DH the New Englander uses a buggy at the grocery store, I use a cart.

On the West Coast we have Mexican food, here in Texas the same food is called Tex-Mex.

Chow Mein in N. Calif and N. Nevada is made with noodles, in many other places it is made with all veggies, if you want noodles you order LoMein.

I'm originally from west Texas and we never called it Tex-Mex. In the west and in the valley (at least, from what I have been told) the Mexican food is more authentic than what you get in central, east, and north Texas. I call what they serve in those areas Tex-Mex and (about to commit a huge Texas sin here) I really don't care too much for it. Now the stuff in in the west? I'd eat that everyday and twice on Sunday!

 

[Turn the Page]

Just my southern breeding and I can't get beyond it.

I never understood this phrase. What does it mean to have breeding? Did you come with papers?

 

[IheartMickey]

It all depends on how you say it. Its not like saying sir or ma'am is automatically insulting. Although ma'am tends to ruffle feathers more easily its not an outright insult. Usually the reaction is more like "oh, they called me ma'am. I must be getting old." I've never heard of anyone being insulted by being called sir unless it was very sarcastic.

I got called ma'am here in Florida for the first time a few months ago. I live in a rural area, more country than Orlando. My first thought was 'Wow, I'm getting old.'