Regional Traditions

[IheartMickey]

Kindof like the posted speed limits in NJ, especially on the Parkway (Garden State Parkway for non NJ folks) and the Turnpike are simply suggestions for how fast you should drive.

ETA Oh yes of course, how could we forget those of us that live NJ and Oregon do not pump our own gas?

Omg when I used to drive on the Garden State to get to Atlantic City I would be flooring it and people would still be passing me going at least 90mph!

I miss AC too! My aunt and uncle are high rollers at Golden Nugget (Formerly Trump Marina) and brought my mom and I for free one 4th of July weekend and we got to see the fireworks from one of the decks and it was so fun!

 

[design_mom]

I would like to see which of my posts you feel that I was saying that the south has superior manners to the rest of the country.

I'd have to go back through all the pages to find something -- and I'm not even positive that I could find something direct. You really didn't pop onto my radar until the tantrum story and the subsequent "lighten up, Francis" post.

I still don't really get the humor in the tantrum incident as it relates to manners. Maybe you had to be there, or maybe you have to have a more intimate knowledge of southern manners than I have. It came off as "she's trying to be as respectful as possible even when she's being naughty" (whether that was to "lighten her sentence" as you later clarified, or just because southern children have such good manners) Really, it sounds like she's just trained to say "no, ma'am" any time she says "no." There wasn't anything respectful about it.

I realize it was an anecdote, and you didn't expect people to take it seriously, but among the other posts (not necessarily yours) about southern manners, southern breeding, etc., several of us interpreted it as "we have such good manners here, that our children are respectful even when they're naughty." I also thought the "lighten up, francis" post was rude. Rather than acknowledging that you could have communicated something you didn't intend to, you put it back on others by saying "Geez, you people can't take a joke!"

As long as we can agree that no region holds a "lock" on good manners, then I think we're in agreement.

 

[Bnb0627]

Omg when I used to drive on the Garden State to get to Atlantic City I would be flooring it and people would still be passing me going at least 90mph!

I miss AC too! My aunt and uncle are high rollers at Golden Nugget (Formerly Trump Marina) and brought my mom and I for free one 4th of July weekend and we got to see the fireworks from one of the decks and it was so fun!

Lol yeah 90 is the norm for me anyway on the Parkway or A.C. Expressway

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I'd have to go back through all the pages to find something -- and I'm not even positive that I could find something direct. You really didn't pop onto my radar until the tantrum story and the subsequent "lighten up, Francis" post.

I still don't really get the humor in the tantrum incident as it relates to manners. Maybe you had to be there, or maybe you have to have a more intimate knowledge of southern manners than I have. It came off as "she's trying to be as respectful as possible even when she's being naughty" (whether that was to "lighten her sentence" as you later clarified, or just because southern children have such good manners) Really, it sounds like she's just trained to say "no, ma'am" any time she says "no." There wasn't anything respectful about it.

I realize it was an anecdote, and you didn't expect people to take it seriously, but among the other posts (not necessarily yours) about southern manners, southern breeding, etc., several of us interpreted it as "we have such good manners here, that our children are respectful even when they're naughty." I also thought the "lighten up, francis" post was rude. Rather than acknowledging that you could have communicated something you didn't intend to, you put it back on others by saying "Geez, you people can't take a joke!"

As long as we can agree that no region holds a "lock" on good manners, then I think we're in agreement.

I just think that if someone is going to publicly call a poster out for something, you need to be able to back it up with facts. You said that I implied that the south has superior manners and now you are backtracking saying that maybe I didn't. If you are going to accuse me of something, I would like to know exactly where you got that idea. That way, I can watch what I say next time. If you are unable to find something that backs up such a claim, though, then you are making a false claim.

 

[design_mom]

I just think that if someone is going to publicly call a poster out for something, you need to be able to back it up with facts. You said that I implied that the south has superior manners and now you are backtracking saying that maybe I didn't. If you are going to accuse me of something, I would like to know exactly where you got that idea. That way, I can watch what I say next time. If you are unable to find something that backs up such a claim, though, then you are making a false claim.

I'm saying I don't know that I can find a post where you directly said "I think southern manners are superior to other areas of the country" in those exact words.

I do believe you *implied* that southern manners are superior with your tantrum story. (I've quoted it before, and I can go back and find it again if you insist.) You have "explained it away" as a joke -- but your explanation doesn't make sense to me. (And you seem to be viewing it as a stand-alone anecdote, where I viewed it in the overall context of the on-going discussion regarding "southern manners".)

I am not going back on what I said. I do believe you implied it. You have "explained" but I do not see how your explanation relates. However, if we are in agreement that no area has a lock on good manners, then I'm willing to let it go as "i just don't get it" with regards to your "joke."

ETA: And when I quoted your first post, it was intended as a compliment -- these things can be discussed as differences without getting into better/worse and you did start out that way. (I don't feel the same way about the tantrum post, but I didn't intend to attack you or anything...)

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I'm saying I don't know that I can find a post where you directly said "I think southern manners are superior to other areas of the country" in those exact words.

I do believe you *implied* that southern manners are superior with your tantrum story. (I've quoted it before, and I can go back and find it again if you insist.) I believe you have "explained it away" as a joke -- but your explanation doesn't make sense to me.

I am not going back on what I said. I do believe you implied it. You have "explained" but I do not see how your explanation relates. However, if we are in agreement that no area has a lock on good manners, then I'm willing to let it go as "i just don't get it" with regards to your "joke."

I just find it very frustrating that this thread was going along very well. People were having a good time. Then, some posters decided to see things that were not there and call out posters for claiming that the south had better manners. All of the posters from the south who were called out for their posts that some claim made these statements pointed out that they said no such thing. Then, the posts that do say that they prefer the manners of the south are from people who aren't even from here. Then people start talking about slavery and other high anxiety topics, start accusing other posters of saying the south is better with manners even when they have made several other posts saying the contrary. I think it's absolutely ridiculous.

Yes, every single person in this country has manners. Every single person in this country has manners that are good and bad. Depending on the region, some consider certain things to be good manners that other regions don't place as much value on. All that really matters is the intent behind them. Some people prefer the manner at which that intent is expressed in the south. Others prefer the north east. Others still prefer the midwest. No one has the market cornered on good manners, but I completely fail to see why someone should not be able to say that they like the manners in one region without having to worry that someone is going to get all kinds of butthurt, call them out for something that was never said, and make accusations. Now, I'm not trying to pin this *all* on you as it wasn't just you. But you are the one to call me out for something that as never said nor implied, so that's why I did respond to you.

 

[JaneBanks]

I just find it very frustrating that this thread was going along very well. People were having a good time. Then, some posters decided to see things that were not there and call out posters for claiming that the south had better manners. All of the posters from the south who were called out for their posts that some claim made these statements pointed out that they said no such thing. Then, the posts that do say that they prefer the manners of the south are from people who aren't even from here. Then people start talking about slavery and other high anxiety topics, start accusing other posters of saying the south is better with manners even when they have made several other posts saying the contrary. I think it's absolutely ridiculous.

Yes, every single person in this country has manners. Every single person in this country has manners that are good and bad. Depending on the region, some consider certain things to be good manners that other regions don't place as much value on. All that really matters is the intent behind them. Some people prefer the manner at which that intent is expressed in the south. Others prefer the north east. Others still prefer the midwest. No one has the market cornered on good manners, but I completely fail to see why someone should not be able to say that they like the manners in one region without having to worry that someone is going to get all kinds of butthurt, call them out for something that was never said, and make accusations. Now, I'm not trying to pin this *all* on you as it wasn't just you. But you are the one to call me out for something that as never said nor implied, so that's why I did respond to you.

I'm sorry, but the bolded is just not true. A poster full out said that NY and NJ residents are rude. There was no assuming, and taking things the wrong way. It was said. I "stuck up" for us in the northeast and then I was told I started the insults which, I might add, I never said anything insulting.

 

[Mandychelle79]

Here is PA it's a joke. I don't know anyone that actually makes French Toast. We just say "It's going to snow! Quick, to the store! I must have French Toast!"

I didn't even realize people actually did that.

Western Pa, we run for Milk, Bread, Eggs and toilet paper And i always end up actually needing them and it just so happens a storm is coming also.

 

[DeaverTex]

I just thought of another one! In my hometown out in west Texas, we had Rodeo Day. It was an actual holiday that was the Friday of the start of the rodeo. All schools were out and many people didn't have to go to work. There was a parade and everything. Everyone went to the rodeo and there was a huge carnival along with the stock show.

Native Texan here. It was that way in Houston when I was a kid, back in the 1950's. The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo (then called the Fatstock Show and Rodeo) began when all the trail rides came into town. These were things like the Salt Grass Trail Ride and others, ranging from absolute -- and occasionally horse-killing -- authenticity to people who could barely sit a horse without falling off. The schools let out that day, and there was a big parade with the trail riders, high school bands, the rodeo "royalty", and local big shots. I can't remember when we stopped getting that as a school holiday, but I don't think it was much before 1960.

Oh, I also agree that BBQ means beef, although sausage CAN make the cut, and chicken is allowed as a courtesy to the people who won't eat red meat. Well, actually, Mrs. Tex prefers chicken.

I was raised to say ma'am and sir, mostly as an addendum to the words "yes" and "no", and not to be sassy about how I said them since they can be turned into insults by inflection.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

Native Texan here. It was that way in Houston when I was a kid, back in the 1950's. The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo (then called the Fatstock Show and Rodeo) began when all the trail rides came into town. These were things like the Salt Grass Trail Ride and others, ranging from absolute -- and occasionally horse-killing -- authenticity to people who could barely sit a horse without falling off. The schools let out that day, and there was a big parade with the trail riders, high school bands, the rodeo "royalty", and local big shots. I can't remember when we stopped getting that as a school holiday, but I don't think it was much before 1960.

Oh, I also agree that BBQ means beef, although sausage CAN make the cut, and chicken is allowed as a courtesy to the people who won't eat red meat. Well, actually, Mrs. Tex prefers chicken.

I was raised to say ma'am and sir, mostly as an addendum to the words "yes" and "no", and not to be sassy about how I said them since they can be turned into insults by inflection.

In my hometown, I'm not sure if it is still a holiday or not. Crazy Houston decided to change the dates of their rodeo which made the rest of the state change. Out west, our rodeo was always in March and Rodeo Day always ended up being the Friday before spring break.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I just find it very frustrating that this thread was going along very well. People were having a good time. Then, some posters decided to see things that were not there and call out posters for claiming that the south had better manners. All of the posters from the south who were called out for their posts that some claim made these statements pointed out that they said no such thing. Then, the posts that do say that they prefer the manners of the south are from people who aren't even from here. Then people start talking about slavery and other high anxiety topics, start accusing other posters of saying the south is better with manners even when they have made several other posts saying the contrary. I think it's absolutely ridiculous.

Yes, every single person in this country has manners. Every single person in this country has manners that are good and bad. Depending on the region, some consider certain things to be good manners that other regions don't place as much value on. All that really matters is the intent behind them. Some people prefer the manner at which that intent is expressed in the south. Others prefer the north east. Others still prefer the midwest. No one has the market cornered on good manners, but I completely fail to see why someone should not be able to say that they like the manners in one region without having to worry that someone is going to get all kinds of butthurt, call them out for something that was never said, and make accusations. Now, I'm not trying to pin this *all* on you as it wasn't just you. But you are the one to call me out for something that as never said nor implied, so that's why I did respond to you.

The thread was going along well until someone flat out said people from New York and New Jersey are rude. I think they also made a comment about their accents. After a poster called out that post, there were a bunch of "see you've proving the point that people from the North are rude" posts.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I'm sorry, but the bolded is just not true. A poster full out said that NY and NJ residents are rude. There was no assuming, and taking things the wrong way. It was said. I "stuck up" for us in the northeast and then I was told I started the insults which, I might add, I never said anything insulting.

Ah, I see you are correct. I just saw the posters name and since her name says that she is in France, I assumed she wasn't here in the south, thereby putting her in the group I addressed in the sentence following the one you bolded. But, you are correct as she is a girl in the south so I was wrong and you are right. My apologies.


Still, I fail to see why people didn't just call out the poster(s) who flat out insulted other regions rather than grouping many of us in with them.

 

[mamacatnv]

Wow, solipsistic much?

 

[design_mom]

Still, I fail to see why people didn't just call out the poster(s) who flat out insulted other regions rather than grouping many of us in with them.

I think they were called out, and very few of them responded directly.

But there were a bunch of other posts where people either said "see? you're proving that northerners are rude." or "now you're ruining a nice thread." Or they threw out examples of good southern manners (or poor northern manners) as if to prove that southern manners were, in fact, superior. I felt that was the purpose of your tantrum post.

I apologize. It appears we're on the same side of the "no one place has better manners than another" issue. I still don't understand the tantrum post, but I am willing to believe that I misunderstood your intent. I apologize for "calling you out" although my purpose in bringing up any of your posts was to point out that your first post brought up a regional difference regarding manners in a non-judgemental way.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Ah, I see you are correct. I just saw the posters name and since her name says that she is in France, I assumed she wasn't here in the south, thereby putting her in the group I addressed in the sentence following the one you bolded. But, you are correct as she is a girl in the south so I was wrong and you are right. My apologies.


Still, I fail to see why people didn't just call out the poster(s) who flat out insulted other regions rather than grouping many of us in with them.

Janebanks did call the poster out. In response, she was told she was proving the point about Northerners being rude. That response cemented the fact the many of the comments on Southern manners were implying other regions have bad manners. At least it did to me.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I think they were called out, and very few of them responded directly.

But there were a bunch of other posts where people either said "see? you're proving that northerners are rude." or "now you're ruining a nice thread." Or they threw out examples of good southern manners (or poor northern manners) as if to prove that southern manners were, in fact, superior. I felt that was the purpose of your tantrum post.

I apologize. It appears we're on the same side of the "no one place has better manners than another" issue. I still don't understand the tantrum post, but I am willing to believe that I misunderstood your intent. I apologize for "calling you out" although my purpose in bringing up any of your posts was to point out that your first post brought up a regional difference regarding manners in a non-judgemental way.

No apologies necessary and I apologize for hypersensitivity.

Janebanks did call the poster out. In response, she was told she was proving the point about Northerners being rude. That response cemented the fact the many of the comments on Southern manners were implying other regions have bad manners. At least it did to me.

On behalf of my region, I apologize for those who say that we are more polite or better mannered. To me, saying such a thing directly contradicts such a statement. Please know that I in no way feel that the south has the market cornered on good manners. We have what we consider to be good manners just like every other region.