? Regarding leaving child alone in room

[veraletta]

I was left home while my mother and step father went on trips to the Bahamas and out west, they would go for a week at a time. They felt it was okay to leave a child at home at the age of 8 and my brother was 9.

They left us home all the time of course that was before welfare, we were left home every night while they went to the bar.
So maybe that's why I just couldn't bring my self to leave my children home alone, as I was scare to death being home alone or with my brother.

So in saying this I just would like to ask you to ask your child first to see if it's okay with them. If they don't mind, then do what you want. I just never could bring my self to do it , until they were around 14 years old.

I know she not talking about leaving them alone all night or all week, but I would like to think your child will have some say in it.

I'm not judging any of you that do leave your children home alone, I just felt I should tell you why I never left my child home or by them self, because of my own fears.

protect them without becoming a helicopter parent, I'm afraid its too late for me, as I know I was one of them.

 

[robinb]

So in saying this I just would like to ask you to ask your child first to see if it's okay with them. If they don't mind, then do what you want. I just never could bring my self to do it , until they were around 14 years old.

I know she not talking about leaving them alone all night or all week, but I would like to think your child will have some say in it.

I'm sorry that your parent's abuse led you to be overprotective. You should have never been left alone for that long when you were that young. I can understand that you would react in the completely opposite direction in an attempt to prove to your own kids that you love them more than your parents loved you. BUT ... I think it is just as damaging to smother a child as it is to make one fend for herself when she is quite young.

Anyway ... to answer your question, my DD *begs* me to leave her at home if I happen to have to do some grocery shopping when she is home. She HATES the grocery store and my DH travels on business so I am a "single mom" most weeks. Sometimes I make her come along with me and sometimes I allow her to stay at home as long as she stays inside with the door locked and does not answer the door. I have my cell phone with me and I am gone for less than an hour. I always come home to her glued to the TV .

 

[veraletta]

That's why I can't judging any of you that do, as I know I'm a smothering parent, thank goodness my children are all grown now.
It's less stress for me, LOL
I can't help it, I just know how scared I was all the time.
I think if your child doesn't mind being home alone then that's great and by all means you should let them be alone, as long as you feel okay with it.
Only you know your child.

 

[chrisw127]

My kids are all younger, so it's a non-issue for us, but for me, I'd follow the same rules at Disney as I would at home: In other words, I wouldn't leave an 8-year old alone, particularly one who is asleep. I know my six-year old would probably wake up and immediately walk out in the hallway wondering where I'd gone off to.

I think 13 is maybe the youngest I would leave alone in a hotel room, and even then, only for a few minutes (like running to do some laundry). I'm pretty wary about my kids in hotels, even at Disney which I generally regard as being safe.

 

[livie1205]

I agree it should be what the parent and child are ok with.I just think it was silly to scare someone to death by saying that they would end up in JAIL for child abuse because it was against the law in Florida when it is not.That was not good or true advice...I thik she should make sure the child is awake and knowing what is going on or tell the child the night before so they do not get scared.I think running for coffie only takes a few minutes and would not be abuse.

 

[Porphyro]

It's the same in Ohio! My Kids are all grown and I never left them alone until they were well over the age of 12! It was more 14 LOL.

Actually, it isn't. My sister in law is a social worker and we had this conversation just a little while ago in relation to my kids. It comes down to whether the child could reasonably take care of themselves for the time involved. So, for example, a five year old could never be left alone - but a seven year old could be a latch key kid if it was for a short time.

 

[PollyannaMom]

...Have you read Free-Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy?...

I was wondering if anyone had mentioned that yet! I just discovered the website the other day, and I have the book on hold at the library. I'm excited to read it.

I definitely think kids today would be shocked to compare what (little) independence they have with what we had at the same ages. - They're so much "older" than we were in some ways, but so much "younger" in others!



OP, my particular DS (same age) would be uncomfortable waking up alone in the hotel room, but as far as the time and distance you would be gone, has handled that much perfectly well at home. (I've walked to a neighbor's house to take care of their pets while he stayed home watching TV.) So while I wouldn't do it yet, I don't think you're crazy for asking.

 

[M-J's Mommy]

Am i being over protective here?

No, absolutely not. There are way too many weirdos out there, Disney World or not.

 

[FloridaPixie]

I would be honestly be just as cautious at WDW as I am at home--I probably would not let my daughter (she's now 3) stay in the room alone until at least 12 or 13. And no way would I let her walk back to the room alone until she's 16 or so--there's just too much in the news now about bad stuff happening to kids, even young teens.

Crime happens at WDW too . . .just a couple of years ago there was a story in the news about a man who was attempting to molest a small child in the Boardwalk/Swan/Dolphin area near some bushes. I think the parent didn't realize the child was not with the sibling or something like that, and the child's older brother is the one who found her. I don't remember the details but remember seeing it on the Today show and in the papers (I live in Florida.)

I think it's best to err on the side of caution--better that than be partially responsible for something terrible happening to your precious children!

 

[Poohbug]

As posted before, this would really depend on the child.

I started out by carefully instructing my oldest exactly what he could and could not do when I was out of the room. Then I tested him by going to the end of the hall and getting a coke out of a machine. The room door was in view except for the 20 sec. it took to get the drink. I would also knock on the door to make sure he did not open it. After testing him multiple times, I felt confident he would follow instructions and felt comfortable taking clothes to the laundry room on our last trip when he was 9 yrs old.

I would now feel comfortable leaving him for about 10-15 min. while I did an errand. I would not be able to do it while he was sleeping tho. I need to make sure that he gets his instructions and knows exactly what is expected of him before I left. He is usually watching TV the whole time and has been great so far. If for some reason he decides to disobey my instructions in the future, I will stop leaving him alone.

 

[Don Disney]

I agree...you have to start with something and I think waiting until your child is 15 or 16 to have any responsibility is just setting them up to be way to dependent on others for everything.They have to start to trust themselves and feel secure doing things on their own....I do not think running down to grab a cup of coffie is a big deal.

And while you are getting coffee,what about the CREEP thats been watching you for 3 days? Hypothetically speaking.

 

[kevschickee]

And while you are getting coffee,what about the CREEP thats been watching you for 3 days? Hypothetically speaking.

I agree. I wasn't left alone until I was 14 and you know what I am a happy, secure and very independent wife and mother. IMO people tend to let their kids be too independent and when something happens it is everyone elses fault and not the parents.

 

[santa's surpriz]

This thread has gotten a lot of feed back. I am single parent and have to leave my dd6 home alone 2x. Both were quick, but I work out a bank and as a manager I am first to be called when the police respond to a alarm. I have to go up to the bank and do a walk thru with an officer. 9/10 times it is a false alarm, but I am so scared that if it was not and there were bank robber having her there is more of a threat and can put her into a hostage situation. I call a neighbor that we both trust on the way to a bank to check in on her in 30 minutes and to call my mom if I am not back by then bc something may have happened to me. So far she has stayed in my bed watching TV, no problems.

You know your kid better than anyone, you would never do anything that could potentially put them in harms way. I would recommend taking an extra cell phone that has prepaid minutes. Save your cell phone number, only yours. It helps bc they do not have to fumble thru numbers in memory.All they have to do is hit call. If they get scared or need something they can call you. I do this with my dd and it works well.

I also grew up in a single parent household, I was a good kid but was left alone often starting in the 4th grade. My dad did not have a choice, he had to keep his job. Our neighbors always checked in on me. I was responsible and grew independent, self relaint and take crap from no one...

 

[mmcphee]

Every kid is different. It would never even occur to me leave my oldest in a hotel room by herself for any reason, she'll be 8 in September. I also wouldn't leave her at home alone either. If you child is used to being home alone then vacation wouldn't be any different. But I wouldn't use vacation in a strange place as a test case.

 

[kevschickee]

This thread has gotten a lot of feed back. I am single parent and have to leave my dd6 home alone 2x. Both were quick, but I work out a bank and as a manager I am first to be called when the police respond to a alarm. I have to go up to the bank and do a walk thru with an officer. 9/10 times it is a false alarm, but I am so scared that if it was not and there were bank robber having her there is more of a threat and can put her into a hostage situation. I call a neighbor that we both trust on the way to a bank to check in on her in 30 minutes and to call my mom if I am not back by then bc something may have happened to me. So far she has stayed in my bed watching TV, no problems.

You know your kid better than anyone, you would never do anything that could potentially put them in harms way. I would recommend taking an extra cell phone that has prepaid minutes. Save your cell phone number, only yours. It helps bc they do not have to fumble thru numbers in memory.All they have to do is hit call. If they get scared or need something they can call you. I do this with my dd and it works well.

I also grew up in a single parent household, I was a good kid but was left alone often starting in the 4th grade. My dad did not have a choice, he had to keep his job. Our neighbors always checked in on me. I was responsible and grew independent, self relaint and take crap from no one...

I am sorry but you leaving your 6 year old alone for any amount of time is wrong. Flame me if you want but I think it is awful and I would have no issue with calling the police on you. She is 6 for gods sake. Take her with you if you must

 

[robinb]

And while you are getting coffee,what about the CREEP thats been watching you for 3 days? Hypothetically speaking.

IMO that kind of "Beware!!! There's a pedophile behind every corner!!!!!" paranoia just fuels irrational fears. In reality, children who are abused, kidnapped, etc are usually the victims of people they know. Not just some random creep .

 

[crisi]

And while you are getting coffee,what about the CREEP thats been watching you for 3 days? Hypothetically speaking.

He rapes me in the alley?

Why are my children more at risk as children than they are as teenagers or young adults?

 

[kevschickee]

He rapes me in the alley?

Why are my children more at risk as children than they are as teenagers or young adults?

IMO children think differently and aren't as strong as a teen or young adult. We need to remember children are not little adults

 

[CLR4321]

It really depends on if you think your DS is mature enough to be left alone. If he woke up, would you trust that he will behave and be emotionally ok with being alone? When I was 8 I started babysitting my younger brother and sister for a couple of hours here and there while my Mom did stuff around town. I had rules to follow of course, and was ok with it, and of course was responsible enough. Have a good trip!

 

[santa's surpriz]

I am sorry but you leaving your 6 year old alone for any amount of time is wrong. Flame me if you want but I think it is awful and I would have no issue with calling the police on you. She is 6 for gods sake. Take her with you if you must

Take her to bank that is potentially being robbed where she could be taken hostage, shot, or kidnapped??? she is safer staying put where a neighbor can guard my door and I have a system in place if somethiong should happen. There actually was in intruder with a gun that was fired when I got a security call a few years back. Luckily, my mom was visiting and she stayed with her. I always thought how lucky was I, what would have happened if I had her with me? I will NEVER take my child to potentially dangerous situtation that could get her injured or worse. I make choices, you may not agree and do not have to. I am not making a choice to leave her alone to go out and get a cup of coffee. There is a difference. Both may only take 15 minutes but present different situations. I wold choose take my child to get a cup of coffee, however I would choose not take my child to bank robbery. I don't have the luxury of a husband or a sitter I can call in the middle of the night. The call comes once maybe twice a year, if I cannot get a hold of an employee I have to. I am more inclined to trust a younger child that will is more interested in watching Disney channel, rather than a pre-teen or teen that may make a mad dash for the liquor cabinet. Sorry, I have a bad day and my buttons pushed all day.