Recommendation Letters For College

Christine

DIS Legend
Joined
Aug 31, 1999
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32,567
Hey, high school parents, I have a question.

My son is a junior in high school and we just got a 6 page packet from his guidance department regarding obtaining letters from teachers for college.

My daughter was not given this--she just had to fill out a form which stated which teachers she wanted a letter from.

Part of this is a questionnaire that my son has to fill out about himself.

Then I got a six question survey (to be answered in a paragraph form--they weren't one word answers), regarding things I feel/think about my son.

I suppose this is all to help the teacher craft a good letter.

On one of the questions I am just stumped: What is my son's most outstanding personality trait and provide an anectdote or story about it?

Well, I have no ideas as to a story so I guess it will be blank. This is after they've asked me what his five personality traits are, what sort of significant improvements I've seen in him over his high school years, and host of other questions.

So, is this something that most kids have to do to get these letters? It seems odd to me since he has a good relationship with two of the teachers he will ask for letters from.
 
Sounds like you need me to say "Good Luck!" lol, I've never heard of such a thing but, times, they are a'changing!

We homeschooled so I did not have to fill anything out like that. DD did get letters of recommendation for several things required for college but, of course, those were by people who knew her well enough that we did not need to describe her to anyone. ;) I do understand that it has to be hard to *know* hundreds and hundreds of kids well enough to be writing letters for them though!
 
Ugh, I hated those forms. We used to make a copy and my DH would do one, and I would do one, and then I'd take the best of each and do a final one.

I guess it's just to give personal insight into your child, having lived with him his whole life. Kind of like the way DH and I got each other's input.

Our form went to the guidance department...whether or not any teacher's actually referred to it, I don't know. All of my kids chose teachers they had close relationships with. One that my DS used for a reference he had gone to Haiti with, and goes out to breakfast with every so often when he's home from college. But I still think that some of our insight/opinions as parents could've helped write a solid letter.
 
Yes, we got these forms and they were a pain. You may find it easier to ask your son's friends and other people who know him well to give you some ideas. It may give you a different perspective. Teachers will generally "parrot" what you write (sorry, but it's true-they have too many to write to truly individualize these) so these forms are important.
 

Yes, we got these forms and they were a pain. You may find it easier to ask your son's friends and other people who know him well to give you some ideas. It may give you a different perspective. Teachers will generally "parrot" what you write (sorry, but it's true-they have too many to write to truly individualize these) so these forms are important.

Unfortunately I only have until Thursday to fill this out. Yeah, I'm going to have to ask my mom (his grandmother) if she remembers any good stories about him.

I pretty much got the forms filled out except for that part. I had no idea about these types of forms. I was telling my neighbor, this morning about them. Her daughter is a year behind my son and my neighbor said "Shoot, al my 'stories' are going to be bad ones." :rolleyes1
 
No - can't say I filled those out for either of my kids. How exactly does that work?

-----

Memo from Guidance Office:

Dear English Teacher <Fill in Last Name>

Student ____________ has requested a recommendation letter in regards to his upcoming college applications. Our records indicate a B+ in your Junior Literature class and an A- in 3rd Year Composition. In case you are unable to recall exactly this particular student, we have attached a thorough packet of just how wonderful his Mom views him.

Thank You
The <Blank> High School Guidance Department
 
No - can't say I filled those out for either of my kids. How exactly does that work?

-----

Memo from Guidance Office:

Dear English Teacher <Fill in Last Name>

Student ____________ has requested a recommendation letter in regards to his upcoming college applications. Our records indicate a B+ in your Junior Literature class and an A- in 3rd Year Composition. In case you are unable to recall exactly this particular student, we have attached a thorough packet of just how wonderful his Mom views him.

Thank You
The <Blank> High School Guidance Department

HA!! Exactly...And don't forget, my son has to give a self-assessment too, so it's also on how wonderful he thinks he is. I then had to provide five adjectives to describe my son. I guess those will be peppered throughout the letter.

Actually, I sort of get why they do it. Some kids might be in a very large high school and, in those cases, your teacher might only barely know you. So it would be help. My son has about 100 kids in his graduating class and is only going to ask for letters from the teachers that he feels he has a good relationship with.
 
I've never heard about those questionnaires for the guidance department. I've gotten them from individual teachers and hate filling them out. Write too much and you sound like a braggart, write too little and you sound like an uninvolved parent.

My husband is a high school teacher, and he spends many hours writing recommendation letters. He doesn't use a form letter or copy and paste from previous years. He won't agree to do letters for students he can't honestly recommend.
 
Yes, we had to do this too. My daughter had to write a self-assessment and we had to fill out a questionaire. It was a pain and I'm glad it's over! Our girl is heading off to college in August!
 
IMO if the teacher/person doesn't know the student well enough to write a letter of recommendation about them without all that info, Do they really know them well enough to be writing that letter?

That really defeats the intent of the letter as far as I"m concerned.

The people my DD had write her letters didn't need that info they had their own.
I wouldn't do it, if my DD hadn't made enough of an impression on the people for them to write a letter without that info then that isn't my problem and she shouldn't be asking them.
 
To defend the teachers (not a thing I often do ;)), in DD's school they teach 5 periods (at least) and have at least 30 kids in each class, with some classes topping out about 40. It really is very hard to write something substantive for each child without some sort of template. DD's class had about 500 graduates with 98% going to college. DD asked for her recommendations after second semester Junior year...too much after that, the teachers just can't write anymore and start turning students away.

I know these forms a a pain, but they really help the finished product.
 
To defend the teachers (not a thing I often do ;)), in DD's school they teach 5 periods (at least) and have at least 30 kids in each class, with some classes topping out about 40. It really is very hard to write something substantive for each child without some sort of template. DD's class had about 500 graduates with 98% going to college. DD asked for her recommendations after second semester Junior year...too much after that, the teachers just can't write anymore and start turning students away.

I know these forms a a pain, but they really help the finished product.
While I understand what you're saying, not all classes are 100% seniors. In our high school, that seldom happens. So even if it were to be a class of 35 (which doesn't happen often) only about 20 of them would be seniors..if that.
It's part of a teachers job to write recommendation letters. It's not my job as a parent. I have no idea what my dd is like in school, what her attitude is like, what her in class work ethic is...I would hope it was all good, but that isn't always the case.
For guidance to send out 'homework' for the parents, so that the teachers can craft a better letter of recommendation??? Sorry, not cool. Our kids do make sure that each teacher they ask is given a list of all their activities..in and out of school...so that they can include those things if they wish.
My dd chose her old English teacher...who had taken over the Asst Principal job...so I'm sure she had more than a bit on her plate! It was especially nice that this same woman ran a workshop on college essay writing..which dd did.
The kids are told, in junior year, to choose their teachers carefully and to ask them to write the letters of recommendation early in the fall of senior year. Each teacher figures out how many letters they can handle. The kids that wait too long??? They have to go with second and third, and sometimes fourth choices!!!

I would be really annoyed if I had to write up something that dealt with my child's personality and such. Sorry, that's just not my job. We did have to do a short parental overview..but it took about 5 mins. And to be honest?? I didn't put much into it. If the teachers my dd chose couldn't write an honest and accurate letter for them, then she should have chosen better.
 
OP, I would put as much time and effort into filling out the forms as you hope your son's teachers will put into writing the letters (and encourage your son to do the same). Surely, there are some traits or attributes about your son that you'd like colleges to be aware of. Take advantage of this opportunity to sell those points.
 
A plague on the head of those that require letters of recommendation! :mad:

Some teachers and staff work at large school districts with tons of kids that they are in contact with and it is difficult to come up with a glowing letter of accomplishments when the student may be hardly known. The same is true of college professors that have large classes.
 
OP, I would put as much time and effort into filling out the forms as you hope your son's teachers will put into writing the letters (and encourage your son to do the same). Surely, there are some traits or attributes about your son that you'd like colleges to be aware of. Take advantage of this opportunity to sell those points.

Yes, I have done that. What I can't come up with is an anecdote or story that demonstrates his most outstanding personality trait.
 
My ds got that packet also. I finally filled the parent sheet out this past weekend, it's due May 30th. But it was really hard considering he doesn't care about his trig, chem or us history classes. He's planning on going to auto mechanic's school after high school and knows he doesn't need those classes for life. What I wanted to write on the sheet I definitely couldn't.
 
My school does not ask the parent to fill them out but the student.

They are very helpful if you have to write a number of letters.

I wrote almost 30 letters for my students for this year's seniors. I am already getting these forms for next year's seniors.

It is very difficult but I try to make each letter as special as the student. It takes a long to write a good letter.
 
I don't see why parents are asked to fill out these papers, nor do I understand why your guidance office would keep them. That, it seems to me, would lead to 2-3 teacher recommendations all citing the same "story". If I were the reader, that would catch my notice -- and not in a good way. Plus, I don't see how I as a teacher could "work in" a parental-type story, something that I myself didn't witness. It just sounds odd.

Some of my students -- always my better students -- come to me with "resumes" that summarize their high school experiences. That's helpful. I think 1-2 of the guidance counselors push this idea, but none of the ones I see are standardized, so I think they're suggesting it and students are doing it on their own. I've never had any idea that parents helped with them.

However, as a teacher, I do have a form that I require my students to fill out before I'll write a recommendation for them. I write loads of these recommendations each school year, and although I usually have plenty to say about the student in my own classroom and I usually know who plays a school sport or is in the band or on the school newspaper staff, I often do not know whether he's a good math student, whether he's in the National Honor Society, whether he's active in clubs outside school, what he plans to study in college, etc. Here's what it includes:


Student's full name. Perhaps I've called the student Trey Smith, but the university knows him as William James Smith III. I would hate for a student's paperwork to be mixed up, or for him to lose his opportunity because of such a small detail.

ID numbers or other information the school wants on every page; this is fairly rare, but some schools want the student's date of birth (or an application number) to appear on every page. Again, competition is tight, and I don't want to disqualify my students for such a piddly reason. When readers are faced with hundreds of letters, they do sometimes toss candidates for trivial things like this.

When is this recommendation due? I need a week to write a first letter for a student -- I may not be able to get to it this very evening, and sometimes I sit down and find that I just have nothing to say. Usually the next day I am in a more prolific mood, and I do better -- I don't work well with a "I should've asked you sooner, but it's due tomorrow" request. Once I've written a first letter, I save it in my computer, and often I am able to pop out a second letter (which is the first letter tweeked for a different school) in short order.

Is this letter for university admission, for a scholarship, or another purpose? I need to say clearly "This student will succeed in your university, and I give him my highest recommendation for admission" or "This student is an outstanding candidate for this scholarship". Or whatever's appropriate.

Name/address of school/scholarship program. You'd be surprised how many students ask me to write recommendations, yet they don't have this basic information ready for me.

Am I to fill out a form, write a letter, or both? Before I started using this form, students'd ask me to write them a recommendation, and after I'd written a letter they'd "discover" that a form was supposed to be enclosed in the envelope. Really, about half the students who ask me to write recommendations are rather clueless on how to ask for a good letter, and they don't give me good guidance on exactly what their school wants.

What traits should I emphasize in this letter? This is more about scholarships, though it can matter for admission letters too. I need to know whether this scholarship is looking at pure academics, whether it wants students who've demonstrated leadership in community service, or something else altogether. If they're looking for needy students with leadership experience, I may write a pure-gold letter about the student's academic prowess . . . but it won't help him. I have had students tell me that I can google the scholarship and find out for myself. Uh, no. You tell me the point of the scholarship, and I'll say as many good things as I can about you within those parameters. If you're not willing to do the homework, you're going to get a generic letter.

What should I do with the letter? Sometimes I'm to mail it to the school myself (if so, give me an addressed, stamped envelope), other times I'm to return it to the student in a sealed envelope, and other times I'm to give it to the student's guidance counselor. Admissions lettters are fairly standard, but scholarships vary widely. As I've already said a couple times, I'd hate for my students to lose their opportunity to win because I sent the letter to the wrong place.

What do you plan to study in college?
What do you plan to do with that degree?
Why are you well-suited for this?


What classes in high school have particularly prepared you for your college work?

What is your GPA?


Then I have a chart that asks about the clubs/sports in which they've participated in high school. Outside school. And I ask about leadership positions. Again, the reasons are evident. Often I know who's been on the school newspaper staff, but I don't know who's served as an officer in ROTC.

Have you worked during high school?
Where?
How many hours?
How many hours?
What are your responsibilities
What have you learned from this experience?

Volunteer / community service?
It's best if this is something ongoing (i.e., helped with Vacation Bible School for the last five years), and it's best if it's not just something that was required for a club. Today's teens are expected to have been involved in community service; if they aren't, it will absolutely hurt their chances at scholarships.

Have you experienced any significant challenges in high school? Sometimes I'm surprised to learn that the student is going into special ed because she's worked with a handicapped sibling at home, or that the student's father has been away in Iraq for long periods of time.

What other information would be useful for this recommendation?


This form helps me write good letters of recommendation for my students. Yes, I know them -- as students in one class. The more information I have, the better I can help them. Lately my students have been asking me to fill out the Common Application Recommendation Form online. Personally, I prefer to write a good letter and mail it in, but I do see the appeal of the online form. The student can see whether I've done the form, and he can forward it on to another school without bothering me to write another letter.

If I could emphasize one thing to younger students -- those who aren't yet asking for their letters -- it'd be that they should aim for a well-rounded high school career. I have seen straight-A, loads of AP classes students turned down in favor of an A-B student who had lots of leadership experience in addition to good grades. I'm not saying sacrafice the academics; I'm saying don't let academics be the whole ballgame. I find it hard to write a recommendation for the student who has nothing but academics.

One more thing: When your child asks a teacher to write a letter of recommendation, always have him or her write a thank you note. So few students do this, and showing gratitude is a nice concept to instill in your child, especially in this overly-entitled generation. The teacher spends at least an hour "above and beyond" the classroom to write these letters, and a thank you is much appreciated.
 
My school does not ask the parent to fill them out but the student.

They are very helpful if you have to write a number of letters.

I wrote almost 30 letters for my students for this year's seniors. I am already getting these forms for next year's seniors.

It is very difficult but I try to make each letter as special as the student. It takes a long to write a good letter.

ITA. I wrote 68 letters this year. Also, parents, do not email and ask a teacher to write a letter for your child. Your student needs to find his/her teachers and ask them if they would be willing to write a letter of rec. Then, they need to hand the teacher the prepared "brag sheet" and inform the teacher when it is due.For rising seniors, right now would be the perfect time to ask and supply the packets. Letters written in the slower pace of summer are always extra nice.
 
. I've never had any idea that parents helped with them.

In our particular school, there are forms for both parents and students to fill out and only a very few questions overlap.
 














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