Reclining your airplane seat with someone behind you: rude?

[Jen D]

When I first started flying as a kid, I always reclined my seat the first chance I got, regardless of whether someone was seated behind me. Later I read it was rude and I stopped, and realized I don't like it much either if someone in front of me puts their seat in my lap. Now I never recline my seat unless the seat behind me is empty. Am I being overly solicitious? After all, why would the airline make them recline if you weren't supposed to do this? I notice many well-bred looking people recline their seat into my lap regularly, so maybe I'm just a sucker to keep my seat straight.

Is there an ettiquette guideline here? Calling Miss Manners!

 

[JulesMom]

I recline my seat. I have a lot of back problems and it hurts if I sit up straight for too long.

I don't mind someone reclining in front of me

 

[beattyfamily]

I know what you mean. I do not recline because I know how it feels when the person in front of me reclines. It makes it a tight squeeze depending on the airline. Delta it's a very tight squeeze and when we flew AA last week, it wasn't as bad.

Are they rude? I think not but I wouldn't do it. That's just me.

 

[inkkognito]

I started a similar thread a while back and was amazed at how many people responded. I had read that a higher percentage of women than men "let" the person in front of them recline, and I wondered how you could prevent them.
I usually have to recline because otherwise I have severe neck pain for several days after a flight (I have problems on the right side of my neck and shoulder). But I try not to recline all the way unless there are a lot of empty seats. If there are, I reason that if the person doesn't like me reclining, they can always move (no one ever has). Just my own weird "rule!" We usually don't get reclined into because we always try to get exit rows, and the seats in front of those don't usually recline. I figure that it's my "right" to recline, but within the boundaries of common courtesy...if someone with a basketball player build was seated behind me, I would have mercy!
Barb
Visit the Platinum Castaway Club at: www.castawayclub.com

 

[Chip 'n Dale Express]

Originally posted by inkkognito
I figure that it's my "right" to recline, but within the boundaries of common courtesy...if someone with a basketball player build was seated behind me, I would have mercy!

A wonderful point. A little common sense, some courtesy, and some good judgement can go a LONG way to making your flight (and the person's behind you) an enjoyable one.

 

[baileybrad]

With the small amount of room that is available for one's legs on most coach flights, I would never recline my seat onto the person behind me's personal space. If the seat is unoccupied that is another thing entirely.

I am sorry for those that have physical issues if they are not able to recline their seat. I am 6'4" and when flying last week I had the person in front of me recline their seat on me without a word. It was a 2 1/2 hour flight from Cleveland to Ft.Lauderdale. I had a wonderful time on a full flight. It has been a long time since someone had done that to me so on the return portion of the flight I just made sure that my knees were firmly wedged against the seat in front of me. Sure enough, the person tried to recline the seat but there was no where for it to go. That is how "someone can stop" a seat from being reclined.

I do not wish to generalize but if pressed I would say that it is very inconsiderate to recline your seat on the person behind you. I am not sure how you weigh a stiff neck against another's lack of legroom.

 

[4greatboys]

I dont mind if they recline--although there really isnt much room. What I do mine is when the person is doing all types of gymnastics to make the seat go even futher back. Im only 5'3--short legs so I dont take that much room. On our 7 hour flight from Hawaii I had a rather large man leaning back and pushing and puching to get the seat to lean even farther back. Im sure he could feel my breath on his head. The flight attendant walked by and saw this man lying on top of me and told him to put his seat back up. God bless the flight attendant

 

[texmom]

I will not usually recline my seat if there is a person behind me, unless I am trying to sleep in which case I might recline just a bit.
But if the seat is empty I just do what I like.

I don't mind if someone in front of me reclines a little, but it does make it hard when they recline all the way, especially as I am usually traveling with my three kids and am always having to lean forward or sideways to help one of them with something.

I try to teach my kids the Golden Rule and to just do what they would like the other person to do for them. I find that usually works pretty well

 

[Eeyore1954]

Originally posted by texmom
I try to teach my kids the Golden Rule and to just do what they would like the other person to do for them. I find that usually works pretty well

Wow, you are a terrific mom!! I know that if I were sitting behind you, I would be forever grateful! BTW, I completely agree with you.

 

[erikthewise]

I prefer not to recline my seat, and if the person in front of me reclines a lot, I must either also recline or live with just enough space to inhale and exhale.

I don't like to recline because I don't like to impose upon the person behind me, and also because I prefer the upright position.

I vividly recall one flight where there was a woman with an infant on her lap behind me, and the man in front of me slammed his seat all the way back as soon as he sat down, as if it were his "right" to do so. I was so angry I didn't trust myself to say anything to him, so I was trapped in a very small space for the duration of the flight.

If you want to recline more than one "notch", it would be polite to ask. If you have a medical condition, please explain.

 

[Chip 'n Dale Express]

Maybe I'm just flying the wrong airline... (Or rather, the RIGHT one)...

I always fly Southwest... I'm 6'2", with a large frame... Not a small person by ANY means... I've always had plenty of legroom to actually STRETCH out... and even when the person in front of me reclined, I still had plenty of room... Maybe I've just lucked out with Southwest's newer planes?

 

[Eeyore1954]

Originally posted by erikthewise
I vividly recall one flight where there was a woman with an infant on her lap behind me, and the man in front of me slammed his seat all the way back as soon as he sat down, as if it were his "right" to do so. I was so angry I didn't trust myself to say anything to him, so I was trapped in a very small space for the duration of the flight.

Been there!

I've never admitted this to anyone before, but here goes: It was a flight from SF to Chicago -- a little over 4 hours plus ground time. This fellow did the same thing. Several times, I asked if he would sit up just slightly, so I could read my book. (Also, I didn't want to count the freckles on his balding head!) He refused, even when the flight attendant asked -- after she saw me literally pinned into my seat. (His seat was forced back beyond the normal recline position - I think he may have broken it by pushing on it so hard.) When lunch was served, I asked again if he would sit up. He refused. The flight attendant ask him to sit up. He refused. Finally, I pushed his seat into an upright position so I could eat. Bad move on my part.

Before I finished (but who can finish an airline meal!), he forcefully re-reclined back, slamming my not-so-empty tray into my lap. After doing some clean-up in the galley, I climbed back into my seat (not an easy task as his head was practically in my lap now).

I had a small hand-held fan (battery-powered) which I dipped into some water. Pointing it Mr. Recliner's balding head, I made a sneezing noise and turned on the fan at the same time. A small mist of water hit his head and he immediately un-reclined his seat. Of course, I apologized profusely (trying to sound appropriately contrite), explaining that I could not reach my handkerchief in time because he had me pinned down.

The remainder of the flight he sat straight up.

 

[Chip 'n Dale Express]

Oh, that's evil...

I LIKE!!!

 

[goofy4tink]

We must remember the spray fan trick next trip!!! My dh is 6'4". Last time we traveled we had a lady recline as soon as we took off. Poor hubby got slammed in the face with his paper! He was pinned too. After about an hour he was digging his knees into her back and jiggling them back and forth. She finally hrrmphed and sat up, with a lot of attitude. Maybe we should be flying SW from now on. PanAm had a lot of room but they're not an option anymore. So, in answer to your question....no, we never recline. Unless the seat behind is empty.

 

[CarolMN]

I don't recline unless the seat behind me is empty, either. I hate having the person in front of me recline all the way and will not do it to someone else. There's something about having a stranger's head almost in your lap that really bugs me.

I have diabetes and it is not good for me to sit without moving/stretching my legs every so often. Fortunately, this usually isn't a problem. There are some airlines and some plane types where recliners do not bother me at all. I only remember one occasion that a recliner in front of me posed a problem. I think his seat was broken. Of course the plane was full, too. I asked him (very graciously, I thought) to please not recline. He refused. After that, I admit I crossed and uncrossed my legs more frequently than usual and made sure to bump the back of the seat each time. I know it bugged him, but he never said anything. He put the seat up for meal service and didn't recline it afterwards.

I agree that this is an area where the Golden Rule and common courtesy can go a long way to making things more pleasant for everyone!

 

[miko]

You actually do not need the fan and water. If olane is equiped with individual a/c vents, just point it as far forward as possible towards the "intruder". This usually gets their attention!

 

[travelgoddess]

I absolutely hate it when people put their heads in my lap. I will ask them nicely to put it back up, and most will. If they don't I will
cough alot, it usually works.

 

[tlens]

I totally think it's rude. I actually believe planes should be made without reclining seats.

Once my daughter who was 20 months was seated in her own seat and the lady in front reclined all the way back. I will not let my daughter touch the seat in front of her (even the tray) so as to not disturb the person in front (I'm a parent who cares if my child bother others) but I gave up trying with this lady and if my daughter hit the seat...too bad. She didn't give me a fighting chance.

(I know I'm going to get flamed but it's my opinion.)

 

[dcedwards]

My DH is large,also. He typically doesn't have a problem with the person reclining their seat. When he sits down he also puts his knees against the seat. Typically after trying 3 or 4 times they give up and figure the seat is broken.

I, too, am a parent that cares and don't like my DS to touch the seat ahead of him, at any point in the flight. However, if it is reclined way back it makes it difficult to stick with this. There is limited room anyways and when one puts their head in my son's lap....well... stuff happens...as they say. But, I still try to control it a bit ... apologizing and explaining that with the seat back there just isn't much room. Most people get the point and we all have a nice flight.

I love the fan and water trick with the sneeze. That was priceless.

We don't recline unless the seat behind us is empty.

 

[shamrock30]

I don't recline my seat. Maybe I'm just unlucky, but I'm often stuck with the person in front of me reclining fully for the whole flight. I think this is rude, especially on a flight to Europe. I'm not very tall, but it's still uncomfortable and it makes the meal trays almost unusable.