Really Really Sad...please help

[PEANUT1]

My family is in the midst of some pretty devastating news about my father's health. My hubby and I have had our first DVC trip for about 6 months. I just don't know if I am going to be able to go or if I will have to shorten our trip. Right now we are scheduled to go for 12 days. I even hate to think about something so silly as a trip, but I am a planner, so I need to plan.

My question is....we have like 35 days to go unitl our trip, what can I do?
I think 150 of the points I am using (2006 points) must be used on this trip or we lose them totally. Our UY is October

What about the rest of the points? can I cancel the reservation, and use the points to book a new vacation in a few months. If I can do this, when must I do it by?

the other thing I am thinking is that if I do decide to go on the trip, am I a horrible daughter for even considering it?

I am so overwhelmed right now...I can't even believe this is happening. My mom lost her mother exactly one year ago and her brother right before that. I don't know how she can handle my father being sick now.

Thanks for listening and helping....I love the DIS boards

 

[jcanary]

As I do not know how bad your dad is but what about turning the trip into one that your dad and mom could come along if he is able. You could shorten your trip and get a larger villa. It will create a lot of wonderful memories for everyone. If you dad is too ill to travel I would see about shortening the trip and just use up the 06 points and cancel the rest and see about banking the 07 points. It sounds like you will not be comfortable going so do what your heart says to do.
Best wishes and prayers are coming your way.

 

[PEANUT1]

thanks for the reply...he is too ill to travel right now. He is in the process of being worked up, but the diagnosis is pretty certain. He will probably need chemotherapy and maybe surgery. This is all very new and some of these treatments may not happen immediately.

I just wasn't sure if I even had the option of changing the trip.

 

[Figment2]

Since 35 days from today is in October, I'm going to presume that the 2006 points you reference were banked into your 2007 use year. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

If that is the case, you can cancel and you'll have until Sept. 30, 2008 to use those points.

Sorry to hear about your Dad.

Cyn

 

[Chuck S]

With an October use year, is your trip entirely after October 1, 2007, using some 2006 points, or does your trip start in September?

If your trip starts in September, those 2006 points will be lost.

If your trip begins after October 1, 2007, you will not "lose" the points, but all the points used for the trip (the banked 2006 & the 2007 points used) will go into a holding account, available only for DVC reservations made 60 days or less prior to arrival. Any points in holding can not be banked, even the 2007 points.

EDIT: Holding account is assuming you cancel/modify less that 31 days from your reservation. If you change earlier than 31 days out, points, including the banked 2006 points, will return to the 2007 use year for future use.

 

[dvc_john]

My question is....we have like 35 days to go unitl our trip, what can I do?
I think 150 of the points I am using (2006 points) must be used on this trip or we lose them totally. Our UY is October

If your trip is in 35 days, that means it's in October.
And your UY is October.
That means any 2006 points used for that trip are banked points and are good from Oct 1 2007 to Sept 30 2008. So you shouldn't lose any points.
The only real question now is if you cancel less than 30 days out, the points will go into holding account status.

 

[fkj2]

Depending on your dates in October, I would think you could modify the ressie and drop some of the days before your points go into holding. That's 31days prior to your arrival.

More importantly, you're not a horrible daughter for wanting to enjoy your first DVC experience with your family. I'd cared for an infirmed mom for many years without taking time to care for myself, and then finally did schedule myself 4 days or so to "get away." I hope that by the time you're ready to travel, your dad will be at the point where you can go and unwind a little from the stress. Until you've dealt with handling family illness, you don't really appreciate all the pressure that builds.

I hope things go well for your dad; for your entire family for that matter. Life often presents us with difficult challenges but no easy answers. Take care of yourself so you can be there for your folks should the road become more difficult.

janet

 

[PEANUT1]

i'm not sure if they were banked, but I guess they were. This is our first DVC trip and we had the 2006 points when we made settlement in the spring.

 

[dwelty]

I think I can speak well to this since I am going thru the exact same thing.

My Mom was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer a couple of years ago. She was doing well, but about a year ago things started going down hill. We had planned a trip with her and my dad to WDW Dec 16th thru the 22nd. On December 2nd, she had to go back into the hospital. I was ready to cancel but she said we should go ahead with the plans whether she could go or not. Well it turns out that she had a good spell and could go. We had a great time on our trip.

We had another trip planned for the end of March 07 (Just my wife and the kids) on march 10th 2007 we had a meeting with her Doctor who said the tumor had spread and he only gave her 3 months to live. We were devistated and cancled our trip.

Toward the middle of April, she started doing much better, and was feeling like her old self. We quickly booked at SSR for the first week in May, and I took the wife and kids for the week. It was really good for us to leave reality, even if it was just for a week.

My Mom is still with us today, but I feel her time with us is drawing to a close as she has gotten bad again. However, I am really glad we took the trip like we planned. It was good for our family.

The thing with cancer is that it is an up and down ride. With Chemotherapy, it fights the cancer and you get a reprieve for a little while. I would keep the Ressies and decided a few days before it is time to leave. He might be doing better then.

My prayers are with you, my mom is only 59, I know what you are going thru.

 

[PEANUT1]

thank you so much everyone. My dad is 61 and was in great health. He went into the hospital for something else and they found spots on his liver and colon. After MRI it seems pretty evident that he has colon cancer that has spread to his liver. This is such a shock bc he had a colonoscopy less than 2 years ago so I don't understand how he could have developed this so fast. I am a nurse and sometimes knowledge is overrated. My mom is in denial which I understand. They haven't actually said it is 100% positive, but they can't say that until all of the biospy's are in. But....MRI's are pretty conclusive and the Doctor is pretty sure. She said it looks like liver metastities with the colon being the point of origin. I am just in shock.

 

[isyt]

No one really can tell you what to do to make you feel like you made the right choice. I know my mil was sick for 3 years and in the hospital most of it. Hubby and I kept some vacations and cancelled some depending what was right at the time for us. All I can say that my thoughts and prayes are with you guys !

 

[DisneyBride'03]

Well I do not consider myself a DVC expert ..yet....My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2005..went in for something else and they found it.
She is doing fine now and is approaching her 70th bday in April.
She did have chemo for 6 mths...the news is so paralyzing at first...she is doing better than ever. I realize everyone's condition is different...however, do you know when chemo will begin?
My mom was diagnosed in Jan..we had a trip planned to Mexico in March and we still went. She wanted us too.
I wish your family well..perhaps shorten your trip or try to change to a larger accomodation status to use up those pts. Good luck and know there is nothing you can do except be supportive for your parents.

 

[theostwalts]

Too new to DVC to offer any advice on points, but you and your family are in our prayers.

 

[LakeAriel]

My 17 year old son won a battle against a stage 4 cancer in 1994. Chemo, radiation and going away to college all helped him defeat his cancer. He needed his college degree, after all, he was going to live! I say plan ahead as though he will be Ok. He will! A positive attitude goes a long way.
I would wait until you have all the details. Sometimes the chemo doesn't make you feel really ill until after a few treatments. You are a nurse. You know liver cancer is grim but with new treatements every day he can be with you for many years..Keep planning that way, and best wishes to you all.

 

[drag n' fly]

I am so sorry your Dad and your family are facing this right now. I am new at the DVC thing and am still collecting information before we buy. You bring up an extremely important point. What kind of policy (if any) does DVC have regarding last minute cancellations due to family emergencies?

I really hope you are able to work things out and maintain your points. One day at a time....

 

[justjudy]

I really don't have any advice as far as the points are concerned; I just wanted to say how sorry I am about your Dad and send prayers for your entire family.

 

[Dean]

I am truly sorry and wish him the best. I can't tell you what to do, wouldn't even try. But I did want to point out that the 30 day window counts to the first day of the reservation, not the day in question. So if you want to shorten your trip, you have to use day 1 to count from. Say your first day is 35 days from now and your last day is 7 days later. Once you get to 30 days from the day of arrival, any points freed up by a change would go into holding status.

 

[kato0627]

I too do not have any advice for you, I just wish you the best right now. On a brighter note, your girls are beautiful. Prayers to your family. Also, we are neighbors, I am in Marlton!

 

[PEANUT1]

thank you to all for responding....on a strange note, my dad had a colonoscopy today that was negative. We still don't know what is going on in the liver. They still think metastatic disease so a liver biopsy is on tap for tomorrow.

about the trip, my hubby and I decided to put off any decision until the last minute. We wil just have our points put in holding if we have to. I am still hoping we can still go..even if we just shorten it. I am amazed by the kindness of strangers. Thank you for your thoughts and well wishes.

 

[BroganMc]

This is such a shock bc he had a colonoscopy less than 2 years ago so I don't understand how he could have developed this so fast. ... I am just in shock.

Parents. Just when you think they are eternal rocks they go and scare the daylights out of you.

Forgive the veteran humor but reading your posts I feel like adding to the "been there, felt that" chorus. My mom scared the daylights out of me when I graduated college by revealing she had breast cancer (Stage 4). Just when I thought she was "cured" seven years later, she turns up with Stage 5 (metastatized to the lymphnods and lungs). Then came the 5 years of chemo-circus where we were paralyzed, then up, then down, then not bothering to expect what we'd be tomorrow.

The one thing she taught my family was how to live. And that was her rebounding from the cancer diagnosis to say she was not taking it lying down. She fought like hell, put up with all manner of treatments and managed to beat the inevitable twice as long as all the predictors said. Yes, I did lose her eventually but not before she turned my family into travel gypsies who looked for the next adventure out of state. What that woman put up with to travel... she once spent her chemo after effects driving cross country from East Coast to the Rocky Mountains.

Then just when I thought my family had settled into some semblance of normalcy (after my mom had passed), my dad decided to go scare us. We had a two week trip planned for Disney when he goes in for a physical. He turns up a previously unknown heart condition and requires emergency triple bypass. Healthy as a hog he was too. Next came the prostate cancer and yet through it all he followed my mom's example. They can try to kill him but they'll never stop him living.

We did cancel that one Florida vacation since it was to occur during his heart surgery. Our weeks were through Interval International though but I think the rules are the same. We got a doctor's note and were able to get his week back. We rescheduled for 6 months later and had a blast. Oh and my dad is still around (75 years old, with a mohawk hairdo and rebellious spirit to match) and still traveling. He just got back from a 10 day jaunt to London and is going on a 16 day jaunt to Orlando next month. His doctors say he's one hard bugger to kill.

Seriously, I know this is all hitting you like a ton of bricks at the moment. Cancer is never a fun word to hear, but it's not the end of the world. Even if it is just a game to extend one's odds rather than fix it forever, the whole family can benefit from a shaking of the priorities. Like my mom taking her diagnosis as a signal to stop "waiting for tomorrow" and start enjoying today.

Practically speaking, you have until 31 days out from the beginning of your reservation to cancel without penalty. If you're worried about losing points, then call MS and talk to a supervisor about your predicament. Often times they are very understanding to families in distress. They may be able to let you extend the banking on your points or reschedule for larger accommodations at another time.

As to if you should go, it really comes down to what you are most comfortable doing. It'll take a couple weeks for your dad's doctors to come up with a complete evaluation and treatment plan. And it'll probably take as long for you to wrap your mind around it all. But whether or not you go on this vacation won't affect his cancer.

Probably the best thing you can do is remember to tell him you love him, often. Talk, listen and just be part of each other's worlds. God will decide the rest.

Good luck to you and your family!