Thursday, August 3
Went to work, Wesley in tow. Mark left early for a meeting, halfway between where we live, and where we were going (where I grew up). At noon, Wesley and I headed home to load the car. We then stopped by the bank, Kroger and Wendy's. As we passed through the town where Mark was having his meeting, we waved at his car in the Cracker Barrel parking lot. We arrived in my home town. Visited with my mom for a while at her office. She conveniently forgot to tell us that my dad was at home. Mark arrived. We went to the house. Mom finally got home. Mark and I had plans to go out to eat, then to see PotC 2. We left Wesley in their care, and set off.
We had dinner at this little Italian place where, actually, we had our first date, on my birthday, 11 years ago. It wasn't as good as it used to be. But it was better than it was last year. On the way to the theater, we checked several places for new shoes (sandals) for Wesley. No luck. On to see the show. Which, unfortunately, we didn't think was great. The first was much better, IMHO. Arrived back home, where Wesley was already in bed. Chatted with the parents for a few minutes before we all went to bed.
Friday, August 4, My Birthday
Before I begin, let me say a great big thank you to all of you for your birthday wishes, cakes, cookies, beer, and beer-carton hats. Oh yeah, and the fireworks! My parents have dial-up. Not only is it excruciatingly slow (I'm talking 9 minutes for my email to load), but I didn't want records of where I'd been on their computer, either. My dad knows a LOT about computers. Much more than I do. And I'd really prefer to keep it a "secret" about our crazy friends on the DIS boards, and the fact that Wesley has been to WDW 15 times. That they would not understand is quite the understatement. So, to all my wonderful Viking friends, thank you. It made my birthday bearable. And even sort of fun!
So I was up around 7:30. My parents are early risers. They did not pass that gene on to me. But at 7:30, up I was. Wesley was already up, also. Tailing my dad everywhere. He LOVESLOVESLOVES his Pop. Pop is pretty much up there with Aurora and Phillip. So around 9:30, my dad finally remembers that it's my birthday. Uh huh. TWO HOURS after I got up. Mom had gone to work. Mark finally got up and moving. We decided to go back out today and search (again) for new shoes for Wesley. We started with chili dogs from the pool hall in Mark's hometown. This is usually a pleasant experience. Not today. Wesley was in some sort of foul humor. He whined and moaned and complained. Then he began kicking me under the table. This kind of behavior is not only not tolerated by us... he has never done that before. Did not go over so well, with either of us. By now we were all in a foul humor. But we pressed on. There are lots of little nice (expensive) shops downtown. One of them is a teacher supply/toy store. It's new. And it sells Thomas things. Wesley wanted a new train, badly. He was not getting a new train. ESPECIALLY given the way he'd been acting at lunch. So we departed the store, and Wesley had himself a mini temper tantrum. Again, this was not greeted kindly by us. We had...ummm... *words* with him, and he straightened himself out. We looked at several more places (still on the shoe quest), but I was stressed out and not feeling well, Mark was mad with Wesley, and Wesley was quieter (but still pouting) and exhausted. Finally went back to my hometown, where we bought Wesley a pair of
Crocs (which he really wanted... but the 8/9 was too small and the 10/11 is really too big. He got the 10/11 anyway. So far he seems to like them very well.)... Then we returned home.
My sister and BIL were due to arrive any moment. Plus, we had a whole passel of cousins coming in, at some point. When my sister and BIL finally arrived, I began drinking. They have that effect on me. Some of the cousins (the obnoxious ones) arrived. I continued drinking. Then came dinner. My birthday dinner, if you will. I was somewhat aggravated already because my mother didn't bother to make a birthday cake. She farmed it out to my sister, instead. My sister does not cook nearly as well as my mother. Of course, from age 9 to age 29, I had NO birthday cake. She was always too busy taking care of reunion stuff, and making OTHER cakes. Anyone have the name of a good therapist?? Horsey, dear?? For some reason, she decided to make one for my 30th. She's made one in the years since then, however. I have no idea why. We finish dinner, and get ready for cake. And presents. My mother has already left the table. My dad is getting his camera ready. And his video camera. My mother tells him to hurry, because she has a lot to do. I was pissed off, quite frankly, and told her that I was sorry my birthday celebration was causing an inconvenience for her. She sat down after that, and didn't say too much more. The second the last present was opened, she left the table again. Because, after all, she was very busy. The kicker is that my sister also got presents. From my parents. Nicer ones than I got, for my birthday. Her birthday was in May. My parents were at her house in July, and had already celebrated her birthday. But there you go, the story of my life. Late that evening, more cousins arrived. These are cousins I actually like. And then it was time to go to bed. My birthday "celebration" was over.
Saturday, August 5
This day is always a stressful one. Not for everyone, but for me. And really, I guess, for my sister, too. And my dad, of course. Because when my mother is stressed and anxious (which is most of the time), everyone "close" to her gets to experience it to the extreme. Of course, I always want to say to her, Plan ahead! The reunion is the same day EVERY year! Do things in advance! I do not know how in the heck she manages to cater things so successfully. Thank God I live 2 1/2 hours away now, is all I can say. The ACTUAL reunion is the least fun part of the weekend. At the reunion are people that I don't know, and don't really care to know. Last year, a girl I went to high school with showed up. Turns out, we're 2nd cousins or something. But I didn't know that for 32 years. Weird, huh? The fun part is AFTER the reunion. That's when all the "cool cousins" (the ones we've always been closest to) come back to Mom and Dad's for a huge cookout. Well, it's fun if you can stay out of Mom's way and not get roped into doing anything. And let me also say here that I am NOT lazy. (Unlike SOME people in my family, like my sis and bil...) But I do NOT work well with my mother. Or maybe it's that she doesn't work well with others. At any rate, I try to avoid the kitchen when I'm there. So I hung out with one of my favorite cousins, and swore her to secrecy, and told her all of our awesome Disney stories. She was suitably impressed, though she, herself, has NEVER been to WDW. My very favorite cousin is her son. He and I are only a month apart in age. We have always had a great time together. Normally, we have to leave on Saturday night, to get back for church on Sunday. But this year, we were in separate cars. So Wesley and I were staying an extra night. I was looking forward to spending time with my fave cousin.
We had dinner, Mark left, and Wesley took off to play with his favorite cousin. My mother had 6 siblings. Her father had 6 siblings. HIS father had 10 siblings. We have a LOT of cousins, okay? And to explain the familial relationships here would boggle your mind. Like the fact that my parents raised half of my mom's siblings... therefore, I was raised with them more as siblings than as their neice... and even though I'm technically the first born, my personality is very much that of a middle child. You haven't SEEN dysfunctional til you meet my family. But I digress.
I'm in the dining room with a bunch of cousins, my aunt, and my grandmother. Who is technically not a part of this family (my grandfather's side), because she and my grandfather (now deceased) divorced 39 years ago~that being the primary reason my parents took over the care of their children. But now that she gets on better with her children (the mother-child awkward relationship has a long history in my family), she comes. Well, that, and my grandfather is deceased. And now comes the highlight of the weekend for me. My aunt is telling us that my grandmother had been sick for several weeks. Many tests were run, but nothing was conclusive. My aunt determined that my grandmother, who loves to be outside working, had been overdoing it, and getting too hot. My grandmother assured us that this was not the case. She had not been working too hard, she stayed in the shade, she did not get too hot. To which my aunt replied, Well, you shouldn't have been out there ho(e)ing around! I cracked up. No one else did. So I laughed on the inside. For a long, long time. Sad, isn't it, that this was the highlight? My favorite cousin had been up since 4am, and wasn't feeling well on top of that. So he went to bed at 10pm. I knew his wife had, but I didn't know he had. Then I got stuck in a convo with another aunt, who tends to think she is correct (and therefore, YOU are WRONG) about everything. That was an excruciating experience. I finally got out of that one, and eventually everyone decided to go to bed.
Sunday, August 6
Another highlight of the weekend is always my mom's breakfast. High strung she may be, but she CAN cook. Breakfast was enjoyed by all. And then comes the worst part: everyone leaves. All at once. My fave cousin left, and I had gotten to spend a grand total of about 15 minutes talking to him. I was sad about that. But maybe we'll meet them somewhere during the year, so we don't have to deal with the whole family while we're trying to visit. Anyway. The rest of my day was spent listening to my BIL tell everyone how superior he is to my husband, how superior his conference is to our conference, how my husband's salary is "too high", and if we were in HIS conference, no way would my husband make "that much". Did I mention that he and Mark USED to be best friends?
I actually was having a good conversation with my dad, and of course Wesley did not want to leave Pop. And then when we finally did leave, they called to say we'd left our cooler, so I had to go back and get it.
I should end by saying that my family isn't altogether horrible. But my mother does not handle high-stress situations well. At all. And unfortunately for me, my birthday has always, always come at a high stress time. Throw in an Eddie Haskell of a brother in law, who lives to make himself look better, and to put my husband down... just never adds up to a good time. We do get on fairly well when it is JUST us and my parents (without sis and bil around). And things are ALWAYS much better if they come to our house. Because I plan ahead, and have things done, and there is much less stress involved in the whole thing. This does not change the fact, of course, that my sister has always been treated better than me (she is the baby, after all), and that ANY encounter with my family is still somewhat nerve-wracking on my end... I think next time I go to the doctor, I will ask him about an anti-anxiety pill, to be reserved for family visits. I think things might go better for ALL of us!
If you are fortunate enough to have a close-knit, happy family, be thankful. If you have a screwed-up, dysfunctional family, I'd love to commiserate with you. If only we had a free weekend... we'd be off to WDW to make up for the injustice of the past weekend!!