RANT: I don't care if you want to sit next to your kids on the airplane

[kaytieeldr]

Generally someone that "demands" something is not described as "passive aggressive", that would just be "aggressive". Without further clarification, we're left to fill in the blanks of what actually led to the interaction posted.

You interpret how you want, I'll interpret how I like.

Passive aggressive would be something like, "you need to change seats with me because my daughter _______ (gets airsick / talks nonstop / cries for hours on end when she can't see me...)". And the tone in which it's presented.

 

[CPanther95]

Passive aggressive would be something like, "you need to change seats with me because my daughter _______ (gets airsick / talks nonstop / cries for hours on end when she can't see me...)". And the tone in which it's presented.

That's giving someone an order and a reason for it. Telling someone they need to move from their seat is definitely aggressive.

Passive-aggressive would be more along the lines of saying, "Well, most people would want a parent and child to sit together" or speaking to their child, "Honey it's OK, some people are only concerned with themselves and have no consideration for others"

 

[Vicki926]

My daughter and I flew Newark-Orlando in November.
They asked for parties of 2 or more to volunteer to sit (together) in the exit row, I guess they had a little kid sitting in the exit row.
My dd is 16, so we walked up and said we'd switch.
Someone had already switched, so we sat back down.

They called us up again and asked if we could switch to 2 seats not together. I wasn't thrilled, but said ok.

It ended up that the seats we switched to were extra legroom, with plugs, do that was nice.

On the flight back, we were in our seats on the plane and the FA asked us to move to 2 separate seats. I said, we moved for someone on the flight down, I'd rather not move this leg if we don't have to.
She said that was fine and moved on.

I don't have a huge issue with moving, now that my kids are older and fine sitting alone, as long as it's not a middle seat, it's just, I booked early to make sure I got seats together, I don't see why their lack of planning becomes my issue.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

It is not always lack of planning I remember when I flew to Colorado having to switch airlines at the last min, not a problem as long as I had a seat but point being is they can plan all they want and they might have to switch airlines at the last min

 

[bookgirl]

If I'm by myself, I might move, but honestly as I fly SW I pay the EBCI so that I can enter and get a window seat (I actually like sitting near the wing) because 1. That's where I am the most comfortable and 2. I do not tend to get up once I'm seated and would prefer not to have to get up so another can go in and out. So probably I would not switch especially if it required me to give up my preferred seating choice. If I got another window I'd probably switch, I might for an aisle but on SW the only people who usually want to switch are middle seats. Drinks would not entice me as I never use all my free drinks anyway, and I hate honey roasted peanuts and I'm allergic to the wheat crackers/pretzels. I doubt even a voucher would convince me to take a middle seat.

The only time I'd absolutely refuse is if I'm traveling alone with my mom, she trumps your kid. She's 73, a nervous flyer and would freak out if she were alone. I'd sympathize, but she is more important to me than someone else's problem and that's just the honest truth.

 

[lpereira]

I have to have a specific seat on an airplane. If I cant get it I dont fly. It is why I will never fly Southwest. No seat assignments. There is literally no way in the world I will get on a plane if I cant have my seat. So I will never change with someone. I have volunteered to be bumped before with the caveat I get my seat on the next flight.
My daughter has flown international solo since age 5. So I'm not sympathetic to the I need to sit with a child argument.

Funny thing about people and assigned seats. My daughter and I have season tickets to a few different theaters in town. One time we arrived to find the people who had the seats next to us had invited friends and sat them in our seats (third row, middle). They thought my daughter had no business being at that particular play and had claimed our seats. Them offered us side balcony in the back seats. Uhm no. You can move voluntarily or I can go get an usher.

 

[Disney Khaleesi]

I have a lot of flight anxiety and do not like to fly. I can manage it well but I feel a lot more comfortable with my dad there. Have I been separated from him? Yes. Have I flown alone? Yes. But I still prefer to fly sitting next to someone I know. Some kids are able to fly cross-country at five years old, others are not. You never know. We typically fly Southwest but pay for early boarding so we can get the window and the middle seat somewhere near the front. But, my dad likes to be helpful and is willing to be bumped/moved if need be.

I am not sure if OP mentioned the age of the child. This would be dependent on that, and where the woman was sitting. I don't know why the woman did not approach someone she was sitting by to switch with her child, because that would have been my first instinct.

We were flying home from Disney World in 2014 and two members of our travelling part were sitting next to a young boy who had been separated from his sister. They were flying alone. They were both young-ish, I'd say 10 or 11 for the girl and 7 or 8 for the boy? The woman who was sitting in the window seat next to my dad refused to move her seat with the girl (who was also in a window seat) so we could shift over and allow the two to sit by one another. It ended up being a really uncomfortable flight for everyone and the flight attendants tried to get the woman to move or find two passengers who were willing to move and nobody would. We still talk about how unreasonable that woman was.

I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. There are a lot of circumstances that go into this and that would alter my decision to move or not.

 

[kugelette]

My "motion sick" kid barfs on almost every flight. If we get bumped to another flight and not seated together, and after having spoken to the people at the gate, we're still separated, you are more than welcome to sit next to him if that is your preference. I'd love to have a flight where I can take a nap and not worry about crying, vomit, rapid clothing changes, and the consideration of the passengers around me.

 

[jevs]

I buy EBCI with SWA and are quite happy to sit at the back - check luggage in. Of the many flights we took last year myself and my three kids always managed to be seated together.

However, on longer flights with other airlines I think there should be allocated seats due to paying through the nose for international flights being able to sit where you want should be a given.

 

[Allison]

I have a lot of flight anxiety and do not like to fly. I can manage it well but I feel a lot more comfortable with my dad there. Have I been separated from him? Yes. Have I flown alone? Yes. But I still prefer to fly sitting next to someone I know. Some kids are able to fly cross-country at five years old, others are not. You never know. We typically fly Southwest but pay for early boarding so we can get the window and the middle seat somewhere near the front. But, my dad likes to be helpful and is willing to be bumped/moved if need be.

I am not sure if OP mentioned the age of the child. This would be dependent on that, and where the woman was sitting. I don't know why the woman did not approach someone she was sitting by to switch with her child, because that would have been my first instinct.

We were flying home from Disney World in 2014 and two members of our travelling part were sitting next to a young boy who had been separated from his sister. They were flying alone. They were both young-ish, I'd say 10 or 11 for the girl and 7 or 8 for the boy? The woman who was sitting in the window seat next to my dad refused to move her seat with the girl (who was also in a window seat) so we could shift over and allow the two to sit by one another. It ended up being a really uncomfortable flight for everyone and the flight attendants tried to get the woman to move or find two passengers who were willing to move and nobody would. We still talk about how unreasonable that woman was.

I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. There are a lot of circumstances that go into this and that would alter my decision to move or not.

Respectfully, it doesn't sound like you did so for the woman involved.

 

[LiveYourLife]

My "motion sick" kid barfs on almost every flight. If we get bumped to another flight and not seated together, and after having spoken to the people at the gate, we're still separated, you are more than welcome to sit next to him if that is your preference. I'd love to have a flight where I can take a nap and not worry about crying, vomit, rapid clothing changes, and the consideration of the passengers around me.

LOL! Because we haven't ever heard that before.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I thought I quoted, but it is not showing up--someone a few pages back asked how people feel abut parents who refuse to sit by their kids, so here is my answer:

I do not like parents who do not take care of and/or control the behavior of their children on a plane(or otherwise in public, but especially in the tight confines of an airplane).
I have all the patience in the world and loads of sympathy for a parent who is TRYING but cannot calm a baby, toddler, preschooler on a flight.
But, I have almost none for the parent who ignores misbehavior, or who comes unprepared with no entertainment or snacks for the child, etc.
IMO, 95% of the time a school age child ought to be able to handle sitting on their own on a flight, with a bag at their feet that contains entertainment items and snacks/water (buy some once through security, or bring an empty bottle through and then fill on the other side) and some basic instructions from their parents on how to behave, how to get help if needed, etc Then, a parent can always check in when seatbelt signs are off to be sure all is well, etc.

It is not the not sitting with the child that can be a problem--it is the ignoring the child'S poor behaviour--possibly even expecting it (as in all those parents who say "fine, have fun with my kid who will not shut up and will spill their drink on you") that is.
Yes, every child will push buttons once in a while and none are perfect angels, but the odds of a decently well behaved kid, who has been expected to handle a flight in a reasonable fashion, being a brat to the stranger next to them seem pretty low to me.

My "motion sick" kid barfs on almost every flight. If we get bumped to another flight and not seated together, and after having spoken to the people at the gate, we're still separated, you are more than welcome to sit next to him if that is your preference. I'd love to have a flight where I can take a nap and not worry about crying, vomit, rapid clothing changes, and the consideration of the passengers around me.

If your child is routinely so miserable when flying that he cries and is unable to even control his stomach enough to barf in a bag and not all over his clothing--and this happens every time, why do you keep putting him through those flights? Poor kiddo.

 

[tasha99]

If you're routinely dealing with vomit in a closed space like a plane, I'd avoid flying till he or she gets over it.

 

[CPanther95]

If someone told me to "have fun with their kid that gets sick frequently", I'd spend the whole flight telling the kid how irresponsible his parents are and giving them advice on how to get away with whatever they want as a teenager.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

If your child is routinely so miserable when flying that he cries and is unable to even control his stomach enough to barf in a bag and not all over his clothing--and this happens every time, why do you keep putting him through those flights? Poor kiddo.

For some parents, their vacation is more important than their poor child being so upset and sick.

 

[disney4us2002]

For some parents, their vacation is more important than their poor child being so upset and sick.

That's not fair. The poster you are quoting did not say she traveled for vacation. Perhaps she does. Or perhaps she travels with the motion-sick child to visit a non-custodial parent or perhaps they are a military family and have to travel to new locations they are stationed at.

My motion-sick kid didn't actually get sick on planes but he was pretty miserable in cars and school buses. I couldn't very well give up cars and buses til he was 12ish and outgrew it, lol.

 

[Gracie09]

My "motion sick" kid barfs on almost every flight. If we get bumped to another flight and not seated together, and after having spoken to the people at the gate, we're still separated, you are more than welcome to sit next to him if that is your preference. I'd love to have a flight where I can take a nap and not worry about crying, vomit, rapid clothing changes, and the consideration of the passengers around me.

There is an easy solution for that, if your kid vomits, I press the little button above me and summon the FA who will wake you from your nap to care for you child and clean the area. Although it is likely if I am traveling by myself that I will sleep through the whole thing as I tend to fall asleep before we even push back from the gate on planes (at least when I am traveling without my kids). Its a gift.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

And maybe Mom is just selfish. Especially since she said that she would be taking a nap if she didn't have to sit next to him.

Like the others, if I ended up sitting next to a kid that cried and barfed for the entire flight, and Mom was a few rows away sleeping, I would take great pride in telling said child what an awful mom he had.

 

[robinb]

And maybe Mom is just selfish. Especially since she said that she would be taking a nap if she didn't have to sit next to him.

Like the others, if I ended up sitting next to a kid that cried and barfed for the entire flight, and Mom was a few rows away sleeping, I would take great pride in telling said child what an awful mom he had.

... but don't forget that would be after you refused to move when she asked to change seats so she could be there to take of him.

 

[Gracie09]

... but don't forget that would be after you refused to move when she asked to change seats so she could be there to take of him.

She doesn't know why someone would say they couldn't switch. They could very well be sitting next to someone who needs assistance. Besides, if I was separated from my child, who was young, I would not simply take a nap, I would be trying to keep an eye on them to make sure they did not need assistance and that they were behaving. I would even get up a couple times in the flight to make sure they didn't need anything like the bathroom etc. You don't get to wash your hands of your responsibilities because the seating arrangements did not work out in your favor.