Random invitations

[Poohforyou]

Around here pretty much everyone has a party for graduation. I know it is not common in all areas. The announcement is usually an invite to the party, they are not gift grabs. People just call them announcements, not sure why.

But an invitation would have to include date, time & place of party. An announcement just says the kid graduated or will be graduating. Announcements are fine to send to close family and/or friends but beyond that it's a gift grab.

 

[luvsJack]

Mom and I always get a few graduation invitations from kids we don't realize we know, they are from the kids that attended our day care. 90% of the kids we had will attend the same high school and live in our community. Most send us invites but we don't always remember who they are.

 

[ilovemk76]

We have never gotten a random invitation. I feel so left out.

 

[Pamlur]

When I was in high school, a few hundred years ago, I was walking across campus and suddenly, one of the best looking boys in school was walking beside me, with his arm around my waist, and chatting away. Hmmm....

A few days later, my grandmother (who was quite wealthy) told me she had gotten a graduation invitation from "xyz"; yeah, my sudden friend. I told her to throw it away.

I heard later that guy ended up becoming a gigolo in Vegas, but he didn't get a gift from my grandparents. One stroll across a high school campus doesn't dent their checkbook.

 

[Suellen]

Never gotten a graduation announcement and have never sent them nor heard of anyone around here doing it. Seems like a strange thing to me. We know who our family is and how old they are and when they graduate high school.

We did have a party for me when I graduated... but it was all close family.

 

[cinabug]

I teach at a high school in a very small town. Here you are actually invited to the graduation, since it is open to all. The kids almost always invite you to a reception as well.

As a teacher I get enough invitations that I have rules about what I give for gifts. If it's a cousin, and yes, I've taught my little cousins over the years, I give good amount. If it is a kid who worked with me on the yearbook, I give a good amount. For all others, If they enclose a picture, I give them a relatively small amount. If they enclose no picture and just send the announcement, I give an even smaller amount. I give the cards at graduation and skip any parties that aren't for relatives. One year, when I was on maternity leave, I missed graduation, and I never got around to giving any gifts. I bet the kids didn't even notice. As I recall, I would have given up most of my graduation gifts and money to avoid having to write all those thank you cards.

In the case of the OP, I would send a token amount, just in case there is a connection that isn't clear, maybe $10. If that is a burden, I would skip it all together. Even if people send the invitation in an effort to "gift-grab," I doubt many keep a tally of the success in the endeavor, much less make the effort to hold a grudge against those who didn't send a gift.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

We got a random wedding invitation to one of DH's cousins that he hasn't seen or talked to at all in at least 10 years. It came with 4 "Registered at X" cards. The wedding was 500 miles away. We sent back the RSVP card no, and that's it.

 

[golfgal]

I never considered them as "tacky". I just don't care for them, & didn't order any for my DD16. IMO, they are a total gift grab, as someone previously called them.

I figure, if we're friends with a particular family, then we ALREADY KNOW that their child is graduating & don't need an announcement to tell us that.

A previous poster said that around her, announcements are included with invitations to a party. Well that's different. An invitation is inviting you to a party. Totally different than just receiving an announcement telling you something you would already know if you are friends with someone.

I agree that just an announcement is tacky but like I said earlier, in this area of the country, most people send an invite to a party as the "announcement"-they just call them announcements still. Sending them to people you don't know, even if they are a relative, is not appropriate.

But an invitation would have to include date, time & place of party. An announcement just says the kid graduated or will be graduating. Announcements are fine to send to close family and/or friends but beyond that it's a gift grab.

That is exactly what is sent around here. Most people send a photo greeting card type announcement-picture of the graduate with an invite to the Open House (typically) party. People still call them announcements because I don't know why. I think in the past 20 years we have gotten ONE traditional "announcement"-the ones that look like a wedding invite-but it also included a card with information about the grad party. I don't know that we have ever gotten just a straight "announcement".

The announcements that are sent around here are usually something like this:

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...a=X&ei=LNuqTZ69PKTo0QGds5nFAQ&ved=0CD8Q9QEwAQ

 

[MrsPete]

I wouldn't give anything and wouldn't even admit to anyone that I actually got the invite if a follow up was made. That's just a gift grab of epic proportions.

Ditto. You had to work at figuring out who the girl is -- and you're still not certain? Nothing.

People just call them announcements, not sure why.

An invitation and an announcement aren't the same thing:

An formal invitation is worded "_____ invites you to ______ event."
An announcement is worded "______ announces _______ event."

Some schools hold BIG graduations and students are allowed to bring as many guests as they like. Other schools -- usually because of venue -- hold much smaller events, and students are only allowed 2-3 guests each. Thus, schools tend to provide "announcements" because they aren't really inviting everyone. We'll send them only to family and close friends who'll actually attend the party -- and I won't be insulted if they don't want to go to the graduation itself. Ours is a HUGE circus of an event, and parking is difficult.

Technically an annoucement is mailed on THE DAY OF THE EVENT so people do not mistake it for an invitation. For example, some people who are getting married out of town (and, thus, aren't inviting anyone except immediate family) send announcements so people know they've been married. However, people tend not to recognize the difference between invitations/announcements today, and graduates tend to send announcements more on an invitation-timeline, meaning several weeks ahead of time; of course, this further blurrs the line between invitations/annoucements.

Announcements never require a gift -- they're just informing a person of an event.
Invitations are a little more "serious", are usually sent only to friends who'd really attend, and usually mean a gift.


Personally . . . when my first graduates next year, we'll send out homemade cards -- anyone who knows me would expect that -- that'll give her graduation date/time and invite people to a lunch (maybe dinner -- don't know the time yet) on the same day. So it'll really be an invitation. We will not buy the school's butt-ugly announcements.

 

[SleepyMom]

As a PP said, sending announcements (open house invitations basically) is very common around here, I actually plan to send them next year for our DD (an announcement of her graduation with an invitation to her party), but only to close family and maybe a few friends that would be coming anyways. I can't even imagine DD sending to anyone she never has met, that was a casual friend of DH and I over 20 years ago

I am still undecided as to what to do with this invitation. I literally know nothing about this girl, what if I send a gift and then find out they are 8 younger siblings who will now be sending invites for the next 10 years, am I obligated to send to them as well because I did their older sister?

If it was family I wouldn't even question it, but someone so out of the blue? I will send a card at least, not sure what I would even write in it and decide as it gets closer about adding a gift.

Love this line from Pamlur!!! One stroll across a high school campus doesn't dent their checkbook.

 

[AndreaDM]

I sent out announcements for my daughters' graduations, but WITH a party invite and a senior picture. I would never send an announcement if we weren't hosting a grad party, and we made sure to have very nice parties with a full catered meal, open bar (for the adults of course), and some backyard games set up for all the kids. Only very close friends and relatives were invited, no casual acquaintances.

DH always gets a few every year, he has seasonal high school and college kids that work for him and will send him party invitations. We rarely go because of time issues, but usually send a card with a $20 gift card to pizza hut or subway, something we know poor college kids will appreciate.

 

[golfgal]

Ditto. You had to work at figuring out who the girl is -- and you're still not certain? Nothing. An invitation and an announcement aren't the same thing:

An formal invitation is worded "_____ invites you to ______ event."
An announcement is worded "______ announces _______ event."

Some schools hold BIG graduations and students are allowed to bring as many guests as they like. Other schools -- usually because of venue -- hold much smaller events, and students are only allowed 2-3 guests each. Thus, schools tend to provide "announcements" because they aren't really inviting everyone. We'll send them only to family and close friends who'll actually attend the party -- and I won't be insulted if they don't want to go to the graduation itself. Ours is a HUGE circus of an event, and parking is difficult.

Technically an annoucement is mailed on THE DAY OF THE EVENT so people do not mistake it for an invitation. For example, some people who are getting married out of town (and, thus, aren't inviting anyone except immediate family) send announcements so people know they've been married. However, people tend not to recognize the difference between invitations/announcements today, and graduates tend to send announcements more on an invitation-timeline, meaning several weeks ahead of time; of course, this further blurrs the line between invitations/annoucements.

Announcements never require a gift -- they're just informing a person of an event.
Invitations are a little more "serious", are usually sent only to friends who'd really attend, and usually mean a gift.


Personally . . . when my first graduates next year, we'll send out homemade cards -- anyone who knows me would expect that -- that'll give her graduation date/time and invite people to a lunch (maybe dinner -- don't know the time yet) on the same day. So it'll really be an invitation. We will not buy the school's butt-ugly announcements.

I know that-but it is what it is. Everyone still calls their Open House Invitations sent out for Graduates "Graduation Announcements". Around here the announcement means 'come eat some ham sandwiches with us"