Random invitations

[SleepyMom]

We received a graduation announcement in the mail yesterday, with an invitation to attend the reception as well, and did not have a clue who it was

Just wondering about others and the random invitations you have gotten over the years, what is the most out there/unexpected one and how long did it take you to make a connection on how you knew the person?

I texted DH and asked him if he knew the girl and he didn't. The return address is a very small town about 20 miles from the small town DH grew up in. He semi remembered the last name as one he knew in HS (he graduated in 1983).

DH called his sister (she still lives there and being a small town, everyone knows everyone ) and she at least knew the dad of the girl, so we were starting to narrow it down a bit. The dad was older than DH and friends with one of DH's brothers, and DH figured out he had given him a few rides back and forth to college. They have not spoken in any way since 1985ish.

This morning I was thinking about it some more and realized I might know the mom of the graduating girl too! Double connection!!! I think she might be the younger sister of someone I knew wayyyyyy back when I lived in said small town too. I don't remember her name, but as I said I was friends with her older sister. I haven't seen or spoken to her sister in close to 20 years.

So, we got an invitation from a girl that her dad was friends with a brother of DH's 25 years ago, and I knew her Aunt 20 years ago. We've never met the girl, and had no idea about her in any way since we haven't lived in that area for over 20 years and I am guessing she is 17 or 18 years old.

Sooooo..... what is the right amount to gift her with?

 

[indimom]

I felt bad about the graduation announcement we got last week. DH came home from work and saw the card and a picture of a young man lying on the counter and asked me "Who's That?"

It was his nephew.

They live in Oklahoma, we've only met the three oldest of the five kids and that was like 14 years ago. (And this is the first picture we have ever gotten from them.) So, yeah, we couldn't recognize our own nephew from his picture. (We did know the name, though....)

 

[cruisnfamily]

When DH and I were getting married 20 years ago, his mom gave me a list of relatives to invite. They were some random aunts & Uncles & cousins and others. Well one couple sent the invitation back to us saying we must have sent it to the wrong "Mr and Mrs Doe" because they did not know us. I called DH's mom and indeed it was the correct Doe's so she got right on the phone with them and told them it was her son and boy were they embarassed as they certainly knew his mom! They didn't end up coming though. Lol!

 

[Liberty Belle]

I got a shower invitation in the mail yesterday and at first had no idea who it was for. The RSVP had a last name that are friends of DH's family, so I did a little research and discovered it was for the fiancee of DH's cousin.

 

[SleepyMom]

Indimom... I could see us getting invitations from some family members and not knowing them... DH has several relatives we don't see, and there are a few on my side I wouldn't know either.

We've also gotten invitations from people we didn't know, but they were hosting the party for someone we did know, so it took a few minutes to figure it out. This time though it is just too random, we've never met the girl and although DH knew who her dad was (after a reminder from his sister) he wasn't friends with him and has not spoken to him in 25 years and I knew her Aunt. I really don't understand why we got this invitation.... well, actually I do, but it still seems so random

Our youngest DD is graduating next year, wonder if we should send them an invite

 

[prettyblueskies]

DH got one a while back and had no idea who it was for, it was even from out of state (a state, where to his knowledge, he has no friends or family). So we asked his parents and his sisters, not only did they not know who it was for, but none of them got one, same with his grandparents. It was really random and we never did figure out who it was...

Anyway, are you even going to this? I think because this is such a distant relationship (if you can even call it that) you don't need to give a lot unless you're feeling particularly generous.

 

[Sugardimples]

I wouldn't give anything.

 

[Kirby]

I wouldn't give anything.

I agree. I can't imagine why in the world they would have sent you an invitation to begin with. It just reeks of "let's see how much we can get" to me.

 

[rie'smom]

My dad is a retired attorney but when he was practicing-
People he never knew would send graduation announcements. My mom would go through them and throw away the ones that were from people they didn't know. She'd have him check his client list first just to be sure.

 

[Poohforyou]

I wouldn't give anything and wouldn't even admit to anyone that I actually got the invite if a follow up was made. That's just a gift grab of epic proportions.

 

[daisyduck123]

Everyone we know is probably relieved that we aren't sending out announcements for DD16's graduation next month. I honestly look at them as a gift request.

We haven't received any this year, thankfully.

 

[golfgal]

Everyone we know is probably relieved that we aren't sending out announcements for DD16's graduation next month. I honestly look at them as a gift request.

We haven't received any this year, thankfully.

Around here pretty much everyone has a party for graduation. I know it is not common in all areas. The announcement is usually an invite to the party, they are not gift grabs. People just call them announcements, not sure why.

 

[aprilgail2]

I felt bad about the graduation announcement we got last week. DH came home from work and saw the card and a picture of a young man lying on the counter and asked me "Who's That?"

It was his nephew.

They live in Oklahoma, we've only met the three oldest of the five kids and that was like 14 years ago. (And this is the first picture we have ever gotten from them.) So, yeah, we couldn't recognize our own nephew from his picture. (We did know the name, though....)

When DH and I were getting married 20 years ago, his mom gave me a list of relatives to invite. They were some random aunts & Uncles & cousins and others. Well one couple sent the invitation back to us saying we must have sent it to the wrong "Mr and Mrs Doe" because they did not know us. I called DH's mom and indeed it was the correct Doe's so she got right on the phone with them and told them it was her son and boy were they embarassed as they certainly knew his mom! They didn't end up coming though. Lol!

Why the heck would you even send them out to people you don't normally see???? Ohhh yea---silly me--- gifts--send gifts--the more gifts the better....

Everyone we know is probably relieved that we aren't sending out announcements for DD16's graduation next month. I honestly look at them as a gift request.

We haven't received any this year, thankfully.

Around here we don't get many at all- got one or two from out of state relatives but most people i know consider them tacky and wouldn't be caught dead sending out a gift request (or "announcement" as some like to call them)

 

[onelilspark]

I only put our first names on our Save the Dates when we sent them out (and they had our picture.) I wondered as I sent them out, "I hope everyone will know who 'Kelly & Geoff' are!" Then I realized that if I wouldn't be inviting them to my wedding if I didn't.

How bizarre. And I would not send a gift. If you had to do that much detective work, it seems gift grabby to me.

 

[cruisnfamily]

Why the heck would you even send them out to people you don't normally see???? Ohhh yea---silly me--- gifts--send gifts--the more gifts the better....

I will respond since you quoted me and I am offended by what you have said above. I did not send those unknown relatives an invitation in order to get more gifts. I sent them because my fiance's mother gave me a list of people to invite that were important to her. Obviously she was not important to them. But I did not know that, I was honoring her wishes to invite people that were important on her side of the family and she just wanted these people to attend, it was not about the gifts.

 

[Planogirl]

So is it tacky or not to send announcements? I remember quite a discussion about this some time back.

I would say that it is at least tacky to send one to someone you barely know.

 

[daisyduck123]

So is it tacky or not to send announcements? I remember quite a discussion about this some time back.

I would say that it is at least tacky to send one to someone you barely know.

I never considered them as "tacky". I just don't care for them, & didn't order any for my DD16. IMO, they are a total gift grab, as someone previously called them.

I figure, if we're friends with a particular family, then we ALREADY KNOW that their child is graduating & don't need an announcement to tell us that.

A previous poster said that around her, announcements are included with invitations to a party. Well that's different. An invitation is inviting you to a party. Totally different than just receiving an announcement telling you something you would already know if you are friends with someone.

 

[Planogirl]

Some people might see a graduation party as a gift grab too but I agree myself. I never really minded announcements either but I do see less and less of them.

 

[indimom]

I had to come back to comment that I doubt the nephew's announcement is a gift grab. I think they were just following tradition by sending an announcement to all close family members and 'technically' we are close. There was an invitation to a party enclosed, but we won't be able to attend.

 

[cruisnfamily]

I had to come back to comment that I doubt the nephew's announcement is a gift grab. I think they were just following tradition by sending an announcement to all close family members and 'technically' we are close. There was an invitation to a party enclosed, but we won't be able to attend.

We'll be sending graduation announcements to all of our close relatives. Close being defined as Aunts/Uncles/Grandparents/Good family friends. They will include a senior photo of DD. Everybody does know she graduating but would expect to receive the announcement and photo and wonder why they didn't get one if we didn't do it.