Question to mothers:

[Southern4sure]

Originally Posted by beautybelle
But anyway heres another question for ya. Have any of you after having your first child thought to yourself "How in the world could I love another baby as much as I love this one?" This is something else Ive had running through my head.

Honestly, the thought never entered my mind. Motherly love is a mighty powerful thing. You dont know where it comes from but it is there welling up each time you look into your childrens faces.

I have two boys 6 yrs apart. I planned this. I do not wish I had them closer together. It has been the best thing for me personally. Two children is enough for me. I come from a family of 7 kids, my mom had a home daycare for awhile and then she was a foster parent for years. Our home was the neighborhood hangout so kids from all ages were always around. There is 20 years difference between my older bro and my youngest sister.....personally I cannot fathom this but I guess it worked for my mom. I hope things work out for you are blessed with another child.

Good luck!

 

[The Sorrentino's]

I know im wearing out my welcome but when I had my first little boy I had zero insurance and now I have Anthem but no maternity. How will that affect me? I mean will my reg insurance cover anything at all? or will I have to pay everything again?

If your health insurance doesn't pay for OB/GYN then you're stuck with all of the bills. Medical issues vs. no OB/GYN insurance. If I were in your situation I wouldn't know what to do. You should call your insurance company to make sure that it's true.

Cadence

 

[Holly]

My oldest is 12 and my youngest two are 2 (plus I have twi in between). The age difference does present certain challenges, but nothing unsurmountable. Best wishes with whatever you decide!

 

[littledreamer7]

I just wanted to add that I have an 8 and 6 year old and we are thinking of adding another to the bunch and my 2 would just love them on the other hand - I was from a family with a brother 2 yrs older than I and then 2 that are 10 and 12yrs younger. I loved them as if they were my own - benig a girl. I took them everywhere with me and have been extremely close to them my whole life - they are now 19 and 17 and I can not imagine us not staying close forever and in reality it has been good for my mom b/c they talk with me about stuff they never would mention to "parents:- it has even come in handy now that my kids are born and them being teenagers - my kids adore them and vice versa - so think in time when your oldest has kids the youngest will be the right age to have all the enegy to be the fun "uncle" LOL

angie

 

[southtexasmom]

My children are 13, 9, almost 2 and we are expecting a new baby in November. My oldest is a lot of help with the 2 year old, they are very close. I never planned on having my children so far apart in age but that is the way it worked out for us and I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[tinker-kyle]

adding my two cents too ...
my DD will be 8 this summer ... after years of saying "one is fun"
DH and i have decided to have another ... and assuming everything is working in these 35 year old ovaries ... the age span will be approaching nine years
i'm not worryed about the gap so much ... DD is very good with babies more so than her friends with siblings ... i think she appreciates them more b/c she doesnt have one (yet) i think she will be very excited.
mostly we want this baby for us ... not so DD "has" a sibling but more so we all have another member of the family ... someone to take to WDW!

how your kids react to one and other isnt something you can plan ... or count on

my older brothers are 20 months apart and dont really see each other except at holidays ... my DH has a brother 10 years older that he talks to nearly everyday ... go figure

 

[Heather Smith]

I have a 22 yo, a 7 yo and a 5 yo. Eldest sure was jealous when number 2 was born and wouldn't speak to me for about a week. I went out of my way to make sure she didn't feel compromised in anyway. I never asked for childcare, she just had to continue with her normal household chores, and I never added more because of the baby. She was in high school and I still packed her lunch just so she could feel special.

She's now about to graduate college and volunteers to watch them and wants them to come spend a week with her each summer (she's about to be a school teacher and will have summers off). She now adores them and calls just to talk to them, but those first few years were shakey. She has already stated if anything happens to us, she wants to be their guardian.

I wasn't young when I had #1, I was old when I had #2 and #3 (25, 40 and 42). I was lucky on those last two -- no problems at all.

Good Luck with whatever you decide, just remember clock probably has a couple more years on it.

 

[stahshee]

WOW you all make me feel normal dd 12 says she is not going to have kids becuse you never get to do any thing. 12 yr old gets along good with her sisters 8,4,and 2. dd 12 and 2 year old are really bonded. I know for my own experence it was hard going from 1-2 from 2-3 and 3-4 no prob! however im done!

 

[Jackie0824]

I have an almost 11 yr and an almost 6 yr old, and a 10 month old. I love the 5 yr age difference between each one. I love having one baby at a time. When my oldest was in Kindergarten, I had a baby at home. When my 2nd started Kindergarten, I have my new baby at home.. I like giving the new babies individual attention during the day. Its worked out well. There is really no jealousy between them. The 2 older ones really do love their new baby sister.

 

[txgirl]

I have an almost 11 yr and an almost 6 yr old, and a 10 month old. I love the 5 yr age difference between each one. I love having one baby at a time. When my oldest was in Kindergarten, I had a baby at home. When my 2nd started Kindergarten, I have my new baby at home.. I like giving the new babies individual attention during the day. Its worked out well. There is really no jealousy between them. The 2 older ones really do love their new baby sister.

I really liked this too! It helped me appreciate that small window of time that passes so quickly!

 

[rt2dz]

I haven't read all the posts, but...

My kids are all fairly close in age. I have DS4, DS16 months, and will have DS#3 in 3 months. HOWEVER, my younger brother is 8 years younger than me, with none in between and my sisters are 7 and 5 years older than me. My mother had a very difficult time getting pregnant and staying pregnant.

I am, and always have been, very close to my oldest sister. My little brother and I are fairly close. But I know it was very difficult at times on my mom. We were all into things at different stages. She says the hardest part was family vacations and splitting time between all the different activities. She really wishes we were closer in age. Both my sisters were out of the house in college by the time my little brother was 3.

Basically, we were never playmates. But us girls did help a lot with our little brother. And my oldest sister was part sister, part friend, part mother. She has always been someone I could look up to, depend on, and go to without the usual hangups of a close in age sibling or parent-child relationship. On us, I never think their was a hindrence. It was just the way it was. No big deal. Besides, once you hit adulthood, those age differences mean absolutely nothing. Babyhood is such a short time, and really so is childhood. You'll deal with your kids through their childhood, but your children will spend most their lives in adulthood.

It's different things for different people. I thought 3 years was perfect. But the older DS#2 gets, the more I wish my older boys were closer in age. DS#3 was kind of an opps (planning him, just not for another year), but I'm beginning to like the fact that they will be so close in age (and interests). Whatever the age difference, I think it works well for each family. If you want the baby, I think you should go for it; it will work out in the end.

Think of the positives too. You won't have multiple college educations to pay for at once. You can relish each moment of babyhood and childhood for each child.

 

[MrsDude]

I need some advice or input or whatever. Im 33 and I have a son whos 8, well Ive been tossing around the idea of having another baby for some time now it took a while for me to decide because of medical problems but I mentioned that in another thread a little while back. But anyway, is there any mothers out there who can give me input on having kids so far apart? Are they close? Is the oldest jealous? Im a little concerned over the age difference. (I have got to be the biggest worry wart ever!)

DS is 14 and DD is 4, and I would not have done it any other way. DS absolutely dotes on DD and DD ADORES DS. It also makes the carpooling easier...DD is just getting into activities, while DS is close to being able to drive to his own activities. ETC. There is no jealousy at all, and DS lets DD "boss him around" a little.

 

[TNKBELL]

I haven't read thru the whole thread yet, I just wanted to add that my little brother and I are 8 years apart and I absolutely loved helping my mother with him and to this day we are close! I'm sure everything will be fine! Aside from our faith the greatest gift we could bestow on our child is a sibling.

 

[pigget74]

Well, we thought our family was complete, but I guess God had other plans. My DD will turn 11 on Sept. 24, the baby is due Sept. 17th, and my DD will turn 8 on Sept. 5th. I guess you could say that we like the month of December . We are also building our house, which we had to add another room--at least we found out before the slab was poured. My Brother's kids are each 6 and 7 years a part. 17, 11, and 4. He said that they would not have it any other way.

 

[Disneyonmymind]

and it's a great age difference, at least for our family. My oldest DD started praying every night for a little sister or brother and I was starting to think it wasn't going to happen, but, lo and behold, her prayers (and ours) were answered. Big sister is so great with her little sister, I don't know how I managed when she was a baby and I had no "helper". Oldest DD shows no jealousy (little sis has some, though, lol). She's very responsible and old enough to understand about babies so there doesn't seem to be any rivalry on her part. To be honest, I hate the bickering that close-age kids are prone to so maybe this is the best arrangement for me, although it's not what I planned, I am thrilled and grateful every day for my beautiful girls.

Jackie

 

[tiggersthebest]

My children are not that far apart but I can give you the persepective from someone with a sister 7 years younger and another one 10 years younger. I get along well with both siblings. Growing up the youngest one had a very special place in my heart because I became her protector-I adored her!!! With the other one not as much, but honestly I also believe it is a personality thing more than anything else. I wouldn't trade my siblings in for anything - (although once my brother and I discussed selling one to get trip money..... ) Seriously, I think it would work out just make sure to let the older one feel really special. Good Luck!!

 

[Jen D]

My dd is 6.5 years older than her little brother and so far we love it. She and her little brother have a real love affair going... they adore eachother.

And yes, when dd was my only child I thought I couldn't imagine feeling that much love for another baby.... but you will. It's amazing. And when you're caught up in that older child world, you forget how amazing babies are. You'll love having a baby again.

I think the jealousy issue is not so great as the older kid gets more focused on school, their friends, their hobbies...

Good luck!

 

[DOINGDISNEY05]

I need some advice or input or whatever. Im 33 and I have a son whos 8, well Ive been tossing around the idea of having another baby for some time now it took a while for me to decide because of medical problems but I mentioned that in another thread a little while back. But anyway, is there any mothers out there who can give me input on having kids so far apart? Are they close? Is the oldest jealous? Im a little concerned over the age difference. (I have got to be the biggest worry wart ever!)

Hello,
I have three children. My oldest son is 22 my daughter is 21 and my youngest son is 6 years old. Talk about age difference I was 35 when I had my youngest. It was the best pregnancy, no problems. It is hard to go back to bottles and diapers after 15 years but you just do what needs to be done. I can say this for my older kids they LOVE their little brother and they enjoy watching him grow up. They are closer to him than they are with each other. He has been a blessing to our family...

 

[beautybelle]

What an encouraging post. Well hubby and I started last night to actively try for another little angel. I have to admit that Im very excited AND I think I found an answer to our insurance issues too. Its not the greatest but I was on the computer and come across something called the maternity card so I called them and it sounds like it may be something we can use. So that makes me feel even better. Im just getting so excited now that we've actually made a decision. Just think another little child to introduce to Disney magic.

 

[beautybelle]

You all will have to show me that last post when you see me on here complaining about tossing my cookies every morning, noon, and night and Im saying "Tell me again why I did this?" LOL