Question for those who've had trouble conceiving (back from the dr 1/21)

[Heidict]

Hugs to you Tina, I know how difficult this can be. We were TTC for 5 years before I got pregnant, now 4 years after the birth of our daughter there doesn't look like there will be a baby brother or sister for her.

I have PCOS, plus during the HSG they discovered that I had 1 blocked tube AND I had polyps in my uterus. So, that was 3 things that were preventing me from getting pregnant, or at least making it very hard. All I could think about was all the money that I wasted on the Pill before I got married. Oh, if I had only know.

It's a process and a frustrating one at that, but be patient and try not to let it stress you out. Yeah, I know, easier said then done. You have gotten some great advice here, I don't think I can add anything that hasn't already been said in regards to what to have the doctor look for. Let us know know it goes.

 

[dicar123]

We had trouble conceiving DS#2. I had had Norplant removed, and six months later, nothing. Because my periods were regular I had assumed I was ovulating, but I wasn't. It took a few more months for the Norplant hormones to work their way out, but by that time we had found out that dh had a few problems.

I was also on a bit of a time schedule. Dh planned to leave the Navy and we didn't want to leave with me pregnant. I conceived in the very last month we were willing to try! After two failed IUI's, we were pretty surprised. Our son was 3 weeks old when dh moved to his new job.

Good luck! It can be a lot of anxiety, but they are worth it

 

[Goofycampers]

I had trouble conceiving my first. I ended up going to a reproductive endocrinologist and he found that I had an ovarian cyst that had ruptured -I had no idea. Anyway he cleaned up the scar tissue and I was pregnant within 2 months. I now have 3 great kids. Good luck, sometimes it just takes time but I would definately see someone that can help.

 

[Disney Doll]

My husband and I have talked about how far and willing we want to go with this and know our limits.

This is a very good idea, because infertility treatment is very easy to get "caught up" in and before you know it has taken over your life, sucked away all your money etc.

There are people who may disagree with what I am about to say, but I always told DH that, since most of the "stuff" was happening to me, that I'd let him know when I had enough or when I thought it was beginning to affect our marriage and our life together. He was OK with that. We did a whole gamut of fertility stuff, at great expense to us (our insurance didn't cover a whole lot) but we both were OK with that.

The point at which we stopped came when the RE told us that we should try an egg donor. up to that point, we were OK with some pretty in-depth interventions as long as the sperm and egg were coming from us. When the discussion came up to introduce a different "person" into the mix, we felt that, for us, it was a little too much like forcing the hand of God, a little too much like standing at the top of a slippery slope. Again, this was OUR opinion and I make no judgement about anyone else an their choices.

So as you go through this process, if it becomes a long process, these sorts of decisions and discussions will arise. You can and will live through this, you will come to an acceptance of what God, nature, the universe, whatever entity you believe in, has in store for you. And your life will be good.

 

[quentina]

I have been there.....best advice I can give is positive thoughts. Attitude goes a long way when dealing with this.

First thing.....hubby needs to be tested.

Do not spend thousands of $$$$ without getting him checked first. He is one test, you are many.

Find a good specialist. I went through 6 doctors before I found the one I felt comfortable with.

I also recomment the clear plan easy monitor. You pee on a stick every day and it monitors ovulation. They sell it at pharmacys however; you can get it on ebay for cheap ( around 179 new).

Good luck....pm me if you want to talk/vent. I can give you some other things to look for/feel for....TMI for this board.

Kim

 

[Lindsay22]

I have not been thru this, but some friends have and wanted to offer a hug.

 

[quentina]

I agree with all of this post.
My HSG was painful, but fascinating too.

For whatever reason, I got pregnant the very next month. My OB at the time said it's an undocumented phenomenon of the HSG

My doctor called it a lube job....I had 4 of them before someone said take 4 advil prior to the test. Amazing, no pain!

 

[JerseyJanice]

I wish you lots of luck.

I suffered with secondary infertility and never did find what went wrong with us. With my son, I got pregnant in the second month of trying. Carried without complication and delivered a beautiful, healthy, perfect baby boy a week past my due date.

When he turned 2, we started trying for #2. Over the course of the next 5 years, I suffered 3 miscarriages and never did have another baby.

The bottomline--I just really believed that if I was meant to have another child, it would happen.

It didn't. We gave up hoping a few years back. (I'm 47 now and my son is 13.) Sometimes I think I should have treated it more aggressively. Sometimes I think it worked out for the best. I don't know.

Anyway, if I were in your shoes now, I'd find a good doctor and put myself in his/her hands and hope for the best. I don't think I would oppose as many treatments as I did when I was going through this. For example, I wouldn't take any fertility drugs--not even Clomid--because I was afraid of multiples. I didn't think that was something I could handle so I wouldn't do it. Of course now, I regret that decision.

Whatever happens, I wish you all the best. I'm sure you'd make a fabulous momma, and I really hope it happens for you.

 

[Kronk's girl]

I am one of the people on the TTC thread (I think you have popped in there before).

We have no kids and have been trying for 15 months. First, my husband was tested (mobility/count etc.), he is apparently in the clear. I just did all the blood tests that people previously mentioned and I am going in for my results next week. I am pretty sure they won't find anything wrong there and the doctor told me that too. So I'll see if he wants to do more tests or jump to clomid- I would think he would do more tests (maybe my tubes are blocked?). We are hesitant about the clomid, but we might give it a try later. We also talked things over a long time ago, and for us, clomid is our limit. If that doesn't work out we are going to keep trying on our own and then decide what to do if it still never happens.

This was all just with my regular ob/gyn. I brought him a year worth of temping charts. I have long cycles, but we are sure I am ovulating. We ordered a ton of ovulation sticks online in bulk for pretty cheap.

Best of luck with your journey. And thank you to your DH for your service to our country

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

Tina,

Have you been tested for PCOS or thyroid problems? The very first step I would make is to locate a reproductive endocrinologist. S/he will not only help you with fertility issues, but also any endocrine problems that could be causing you to not conceive. I would ask for a full blood work up to test for PCOS because they'll check for hormone levels in your blood stream: FSH, LH, Estradiol, TSH, Prolactin, Progresteron, T3, T4, DHEAS, insulin, SHBG, testosterone, etc...

I have PCOS and am currently beginning to chart. It's important to know if I ovaluate or not, so I was advised to have 1-2 mos of charting plus my blood work results for when I make an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). That way I'm not wasting time by waiting until s/he tells me to do it. Most likely, because of the pcos, I will have to go a few rounds on clomid.

I was trying to think how to word my post but this one just about sums up what I wanted to say. Please don't be offended but I can tell from your photo that you're a 'larger' lady - I'm one too so please don't take it the wrong way - and this can be one of the major indicators for PCOS. Especially if you have problems losing weight. Other symptoms include irregular mestruation, facial hair growth and acne. If you have any of these other problems then I'd request a blood test and ultrasound which helps with this diagnosis.

We decided to try for a baby when I was 30 (even though I'd known about the PCOS foir some time by then)but decided early on that we'd only go as far as medication if there were problems - ie no IVF etc....I'd seen a friend go through this and didn't feel I'd be able to cope. Anyway by the time I reached 34 and nothing had happened we went to the doctor and he referred us to the fertility specialist. The week before we were due to see him I suddenly went off coffee and a work colleague suggested I might be pregnant (no-one knew we were trying!) and I took a test that day and the rest, as they say, is history. My DD is now 9!

 

[clovergirl5]

Just wanted to share my story.....

1st pregnancy--just happened, ended up m/c at 12 weeks

2nd pregnancy--tried for 6 months...dd13

3rd pregnancy--tried for 12 months...dd10

4th pregnancy--major surprise!(had a 10week old when I found out)...ds9

5th pregnancy--just happened...dd6

6th pregnancy--tried for a few months, ended up m/c at 9 weeks

7th pregnancy--a total of 2 yrs. trying, still nothing after previous m/c.

After 2 years of trying and having a m/c in that time, went to my OBGYN. He started me on progesterone (because my basel body temp was on the low side) and had me go get my thyroid checked. All this time I had become an expert on charting basel body temp. every single day. After my thyroid was checked, it came back very off--I had hypothyroid (underactive). Once I started the thyroid meds and progesterone, I was pregnant within a month of that initial obgyn appt. The result is dd3. My thyroid was the whole issue. Even if its off a little bit, it can affect ovulation.

Just thought I'd throw my story in there. Thats my first thought to tell someone when having fertility issues. Its something thats easily fixed too.
Good luck....I send you lots of babydust! I know how hard and upsetting ttc can be. Hang in there.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Good luck tomorrow, Tina.

One thing I had that I didn't see mentioned here was an endometrial biopsy (sorry if I missed it). ETA remembered I had a hysteroscopy also.

I don't like hearing it was "her" problem or "his" problem. What I learned on my trek is that it's a "couple" problem. The infertility specialist whose book I read when I was going through it (sorry, can't remember his name) explained that sometimes if a man or woman was with another person, he or she may well not have a problem, because one person in that (other) relationship might be "super fertile" and that might be enough to help one partner that's "sub fertile", if that makes sense. Often you have two people together that are sub fertile and then it's hard to conceive. (In contrast, two super fertile people are those you hear about conceiving at the drop of a hat, lol.)

Additionally, men's sperm counts have been shown to go down at times of stress. They know this because of studies of sperm donors, who are often medical, law, other high pressure collegee students. They check sperm counts and have shown that at exam times, sperm counts drop, and at non exam times, these same men's sperm counts go up. No joke. Something to think about in terms of your military husband who is facing deployment or other stressful military situations.

As for PCOS, it is something that many women have but aren't aware they have. It's a hormonal syndrome that affects all body systems, not just reproductive systems. Unfortunately, information about it is pretty sketchy, still - you'll read and hear all kinds of things, some of which may or may not be accurate, even within the medical community (though it has gotten better in recent years). Hence, I think that asking to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist, or even an Endocrinologist (which might be easier to obtain in the military) will help ascertain if this might be something that applies to you. Please look into it because it can negatively affect your long term health if not treated. You might even want to do this with an eye toward your baby making but take it up with your primary care as a general health concern. (I have yet to find a good link which explains it accurately so I'm not going to link.)

If hated when people told me to relax. I AM RELAXED DAMMIT! I'm saying this as a joke, but what *is* mainstream now (that I know many of us here can relate to) is that there is a mind/body connection in re to infertility, and getting the mind to a good place will only be helpful. You can probably find a lot about this online. Finding support through others going through something similar helped me a lot (though there is the caveat that if they conceive and you don't, that's hard too). Will be thinking of you and hoping that you can find a way to achieve your dream.

 

[rie'smom]

Tina, ask for a Total T3 /4 thyroid blod test My SIL had trouble getting pregnant and her family doc did just the regular thyroid test which showed no problems. Another doctor did the total T3 T4 and she was hypothyroid. She started on Armour thyroid and was pregnant w/in 1 month. This wasa after trying for 3 years!

 

[LisaNJ25]

For me with child #2 it was losing weight. I was on atkins and lost 40 pounds in 2 months and Bamm was pregnant. Still had lots more to lose and that came to a hault. Now 10 years and 4 kids I am back on it again.

There are 7 years between #1 and #2. Although we did not want them that close since I was 18 with the first. For years it was well if it happens it happens. It took years to happen.

It was very common on thew low carb message boards I was on.

 

[bumbershoot]

I thought I was too old for booty calls but I guess once a month for almost the rest of this year, I'll be flying to see my husband.

Then you really have to get a handle on your cycle, and figure out when the best timing is for your booty calls.

Another vote for this book!

Me too.

My OB at the time said it's an undocumented phenomenon of the HSG

It's about time they document it, don't you think?

My husband and I have talked about how far and willing we want to go with this and know our limits.

I do have the book mentioned. It just confused me more after reading it and mostly grossed me out lol. I'm telling you that trying to get pregnant is NOT sexy

Good to know you're having those talks. They are hard, but from watching friends, it's harder if you do NOT have the talks. DH and I check in every so often. We're very natural-minded, even though DH is choosing to do some western medical things right now, and we have to make sure we're both on the same page. If we're not, we have to let the other one know.

We still don't know if there's something going on with me. DH found out that he has some problems, and it all started with a diabetes diagnosis. He had a drastically high blood sugar reading after being sick one weekend. The urgent care doc made him an appt with the family doc side of the clinic. The family doc was an idiot. Directly contradicted the specific type of diagnosis the urgent care doc had done. So I got the names of some endocrinologists. We self-referred (which we can do...sorry you cannot).

This guy helped hubby out, and was amenable to toss in some extra blood tests while they were working to figure out the exact type of diabetes DH had. Found out that he has a prolactinoma, which means he has the "nursing mother" hormone being made by his pituitary gland. And that has caused his testosterone to plummet. This is NOT helpful when working to make babies.

So he's having treatment for the prolactinoma, and the endo got our insurance company to understand that HCG will help his body make testosterone, while not actually causing full-on infertility (as taking testosterone would). So he's taking that that, to treat the side-effects of the prolactinoma, and it's covered by insurance (omg thank goodness).

Taking 3 injections a week is a bit much for a natural-minded person! But since it's for the side effects, and it's increasing his testosterone, he says that that alone is worth the pain of the injections.

So it's interesting, the different journeys we take.


About the book...I know your comment was jokey...but...being pregnant, having baby, nursing baby, having baby throwing up on your, wiping poop from butts, dealing with rotavirus poop...all NOT SEXY. Read the book more. If the picture of the lady with the "fluid" on the tissue bugs you, cover it with a postit. You gotta read it, understand it, and apply it to your situation, your body. Because with small windows, it is BEYOND vital that you know when your window is.

There are people who may disagree with what I am about to say, but I always told DH that, since most of the "stuff" was happening to me, that I'd let him know when I had enough or when I thought it was beginning to affect our marriage and our life together. He was OK with that. We did a whole gamut of fertility stuff, at great expense to us (our insurance didn't cover a whole lot) but we both were OK with that.

That's us, too.

I don't like hearing it was "her" problem or "his" problem. What I learned on my trek is that it's a "couple" problem.

...but what *is* mainstream now (that I know many of us here can relate to) is that there is a mind/body connection in re to infertility, and getting the mind to a good place will only be helpful.

I think that's very individual to each couple. For us, DH is the one that knows he's got the problems, and he REFUSES to let me call it "our" problem. He doesn't think it's fair to me. I'm fine with that...I like to be specific. I call the beloved children of my dad and stepmom my half brothers and sister, because that's what they are. I love them dearly, just as much as my full brother, but we're still only related through one parent. Anyway, what works for us might not work for another couple (which is fairly common inside of our relationship). But not everyone has to call everything we and our, and it can be OK.

It's so mainstream it's part of a local clinic's program!




Tina, get DH tested first. OK that's not possible since your appt is coming up. But he needs to find out about himself asap.

FWIW, DH went to that same clinic I linked to above, and the analysis was charged to insurance at $100. So that's the amount they charge. Even if you had to go OOP on that, that's not horrible. And whatever clinic you went to might have a discount for paying up front. It's worth asking around.

I do have to wonder why your primary is so weird about giving you referrals. Is she in a program where referring is bad, and counts against her (some insurance plans are like this). It would get expensive to see others OOP...seeing just anyone else, and then if need be seeing an RE OOP, but if you're not getting anywhere with this person, and you can't switch easily...it might be worth thinking about. Only you know your money situation, of course.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I think that's very individual to each couple. For us, DH is the one that knows he's got the problems, and he REFUSES to let me call it "our" problem. He doesn't think it's fair to me. But not everyone has to call everything we and our, and it can be OK.

Well first, you appear to have a very generous and caring husband. More often I hear it the other way around.

I took care of a 75 year old woman last week who insisted it was "her" problem [that she and her husband were never able to bear children]. This, with no testing whatsoever. Her rationale was that he came from a large family and all of his brothers and sisters were able to have children. She spent a lifetime blaming herself.

While yes, of course each couple is individual, according to this author and specialist, it is as I described it above: usually a couple's problem. I think this is the healthiest way to look at it, but to each his own. I offer it as something that perhaps can be helpful to couples going through this.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Tina- first of all .

Have you thought about the sympto-thermal method of natural family planning? My church is going is requiring me to take the class as part of my marriage prep and I have heard that it is just as good for helping women conceive as it is for preventing pregnancy when done right. It uses a variety of indicators to determine when a woman is fertile. It might also help you pinpoint problem areas in your cycle.

 

[si-am]

Tina- first of all .

Have you thought about the sympto-thermal method of natural family planning? My church is going is requiring me to take the class as part of my marriage prep and I have heard that it is just as good for helping women conceive as it is for preventing pregnancy when done right. It uses a variety of indicators to determine when a woman is fertile. It might also help you pinpoint problem areas in your cycle.

This is pretty much charting, which she said she was already doing.

Didn't really help me very much, honestly.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Sorry. I'm not familiar with a lot of stuff- just trying to pass on what I had heard.

 

[locolala]

Tina, I'm almost 100% certain Tricare will cover the RE. I know they have one at Bethesda, which is where I get all my prenatal care. I know of a ton of ladies who've had Tricare pay for the basic infertility treatments, and that if you go to Walter Reed, they have a program where you can get IVF done at a very very low cost. I can pm you the info if you want me to. I'm fighting Tricare right now about sending me to a specialist who knows all about my genetic condition, and I think I'm going to win it.

Lilly, I know you asked about why she doesn't see a gyn on a regular basis, with Tricare you see your primary care doc for everything, even routine gyn stuff. If you're having problems they put in the referral to Gyn. Even when you get pregnant you have to have a referral, so you have to go pee in a cup for your PCM, then they put in a referral after you get a positive.