Question for the Ladies... tubal ligation

[I*heart*MickeyMouse]

Ahhh, now we're onto insults, are we??

Not necessarily insulting anyone specific, but yes it's an insult - no different than my husband being insulted for not wanting to get the procedure done. but given all the info I've read it just doesn't seem as bad everyone is making it out to be. Again, more risky than the vasectomy yes totally. Risks in and of themselves from the anesthesia, sure.

 

[scrdofbugs]

I had it done about 10-11 years ago when I was like 25ish. DH and I were certain we were done having children so my Gyn dr was okay with it. I had it done outpatient at the hospital. They did it laprosopic (however you spell it). I have a tiny little scar in the wrinkle of my belly button. I had some bad gas pains where they pumped up my stomach but other than that I don't remember much pain. I think I had it done on a Thurs or Fri and I was back to work at my desk job on Monday. I couldn't lift anything for a little while but other than that I was good to go. My periods have always been heavy when I am not on birth control pills so that part was the same. I loved not having to worry about anything!!! We decided that my DH wouldn't do the snip snip either. I am 100% happy with our choice!! Now, on the other hand I am facing Uterine Cancer at 36. I go to the oncology dr tomorrow to find out about what hysterectomy I will need. So if anyone out there is "fluffy" and had an abdomial hysterectomy, please let me know how it was. Thanks!

 

[I*heart*MickeyMouse]

I had it done about 10-11 years ago when I was like 25ish. DH and I were certain we were done having children so my Gyn dr was okay with it. I had it done outpatient at the hospital. They did it laprosopic (however you spell it). I have a tiny little scar in the wrinkle of my belly button. I had some bad gas pains where they pumped up my stomach but other than that I don't remember much pain. I think I had it done on a Thurs or Fri and I was back to work at my desk job on Monday. I couldn't lift anything for a little while but other than that I was good to go. My periods have always been heavy when I am not on birth control pills so that part was the same. I loved not having to worry about anything!!! We decided that my DH wouldn't do the snip snip either. I am 100% happy with our choice!! Now, on the other hand I am facing Uterine Cancer at 36. I go to the oncology dr tomorrow to find out about what hysterectomy I will need. So if anyone out there is "fluffy" and had an abdomial hysterectomy, please let me know how it was. Thanks!

Bless your heart for taking time to post on my thread with all you are going through!! I (obviously) haven't had a hysterectomy but did have a csection and I have a bit of an "apron belly"... My ob wasn't the least bit concerned with it, it didn't seem to get in the way... They moved it and did the incision underneath it. It healed really well, the post partum nurse showed me how to place some thin gauze over the incision staples so they wouldn't get rubbed and irritated. In a bizarre way I think having that "apron" helped my incision not be in pain, putting the slightest pressure on the area. (they have you put a pillow on your belly and apply pressure to the incision area for a while to ease the pressure when standing up or moving around in bed or laughing - ouch laughing hurt even with the pillow though lol!!)

anyway, i'm not even sure if this is the kind of "fluffy gal" info you were looking for, just thought I'd share in case it is :0)

 

[scrdofbugs]

He admittedly knows a vasectomy is much safter than a TL but still is not willing to have one.

Having a vasectomy is a 5 minute procedure. Having a TL is MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY. IMO, it's a no-brainer.

Not to start any arguments but it is not MAJOR surgery. I have had 3 MAJOR abdomial surgeries (hernias, exploratory for tear in intestine and c-section) and I also had my TL. It is minor outpatient surgery sure there are risk but I was also under when my wisdom teeth were cut out and that was WAY more painful than TL.

My hubby didn't want to have V and I was not going to make him. I didn't mind having the surgery becuase it was a couple hours in the hospital then I rested the weekend and was back at work on Monday. I think I couldn't pick anything up for a little while but it was 10-11 years ago so I am sure things are different now. I also only paid a copay for outpatient surgery. It was not much but every insurance plan is different.

 

[scrdofbugs]

Bless your heart for taking time to post on my thread with all you are going through!! I (obviously) haven't had a hysterectomy but did have a csection and I have a bit of an "apron belly"... My ob wasn't the least bit concerned with it, it didn't seem to get in the way... They moved it and did the incision underneath it. It healed really well, the post partum nurse showed me how to place some thin gauze over the incision staples so they wouldn't get rubbed and irritated. In a bizarre way I think having that "apron" helped my incision not be in pain, putting the slightest pressure on the area. (they have you put a pillow on your belly and apply pressure to the incision area for a while to ease the pressure when standing up or moving around in bed or laughing - ouch laughing hurt even with the pillow though lol!!)

anyway, i'm not even sure if this is the kind of "fluffy gal" info you were looking for, just thought I'd share in case it is :0)

Yes! It is exactly what I was looking for. I too had a c-section but it was 14 yrs ago!! I was smaller then still a little fluffy but I had a healing prob at my 6-week check up so that keeps running through my mind as I approach this surgery. thanks for the words of incouragement!!
I think you will be fine with the TL. I really had no problems from it at all. My daugher was about 3 or 4. The gas pains hurt but that was it. I came home from the hospital. took a pain pill slept it off. I think I rested on the weekend and was fine Monday. Good Luck! You will be fine!! I never once doubted my TL!! It is wonderful never having to worry about pregn, BC pills or anything!

 

[nessz79]

There was a thread very similar to this one maybe a year or two ago and the same thing happened. It turned into this big debate where a couple people almost seemed mad at the OP and her DH for opting for a TL instead of a V.

The OP already said that it was a decision they agreed upon. She doesn't have any feelings of resentment towards her DH and probably doesn't need anyone continuing to belittle her DH's devotion to her.

 

[I*heart*MickeyMouse]

That is why I am not nervous about getting a tubal... I was put under for my four impacted wisdom teeth and it just doesn't worry me. The risks with a tubal lie in the anesthesia, NOT the surgery itself and I truly believe that is why so many women are against it. They think it's this huge huge surgical procedure when it really is not. To each her own. As someone else posted there's more of a risk of dying in childbirth than there is of dying during a TL.

Thanks nessz79

 

[tlbwriter]

I guess because it's a foreign concept to me that my husband would make me go through major surgery

I may have read her post wrong, but I didn't see anything that said he was "making" her have the surgery. Sure looks like she's doing it of her own free will.

 

[brymolmom]

That is why I am not nervous about getting a tubal... I was put under for my four impacted wisdom teeth and it just doesn't worry me. The risks with a tubal lie in the anesthesia, NOT the surgery itself and I truly believe that is why so many women are against it. They think it's this huge huge surgical procedure when it really is not. To each her own. As someone else posted there's more of a risk of dying in childbirth than there is of dying during a TL.

Thanks nessz79

True, more risk in child birth. And if there was a less risky way for the dh to do that- I'd be on board for that too!!!

I don't think people think it's bad that your dh is afraid of the procedure or insulting him for that...I think it's more that he's OK with your going under and taking that big of a risk when there is a much easier less risky way to do it. For him to make this decision with you is well...very different for many of us whose dh's would never allow that type of risk for us. It's like him letting you take a bullet instead of him jumping in front of it.

 

[tlbwriter]

I don't think people think it's bad that your dh is afraid of the procedure or insulting him for that...I think it's more that he's OK with your going under and taking that big of a risk when there is a much easier less risky way to do it. For him to make this decision with you is well...very different for many of us whose dh's would never allow that type of risk for us. It's like him letting you take a bullet instead of him jumping in front of it.

Taking a bullet? Seriously? Talk about hyperbole.

To me, it's more like... someone has to go to Walmart. Neither of you wants to do it (because you're both sane, rational people ). It will be harder for you because you have a headache. But he has a crippling fear of going to Walmart, so you do it for him. Because you love him. Because even though you know going to Walmart isn't going to hurt him, you don't want to ask him to do something that really, really frightens him.

Really, people keep saying he should "love you enough to do this for you," and no one notices or cares that she loves him enough to do this for him. Why the knee-jerk reaction? Why automatically jump into lecture mode and say "this isn't what I would do, so it must be wrong for you as well?"

 

[brymolmom]

Taking a bullet? Seriously? Talk about hyperbole.

To me, it's more like... someone has to go to Walmart. Neither of you wants to do it (because you're both sane, rational people ). It will be harder for you because you have a headache. But he has a crippling fear of going to Walmart, so you do it for him. Because you love him. Because even though you know going to Walmart isn't going to hurt him, you don't want to ask him to do something that really, really frightens him.

Really, people keep saying he should "love you enough to do this for you," and no one notices or cares that she loves him enough to do this for him. Why the knee-jerk reaction? Why automatically jump into lecture mode and say "this isn't what I would do, so it must be wrong for you as well?"

Because sane, rational couples IMO would make the decision together that poses the least risk and would be by far the most likely to leave their children with two parents at the end of it. In the Walmart example, both couples would have equal chance of getting into a car accident and dying - thus, yes, very nice for the one without the fear doing it. But if the husband was going to be able to beam there (yes, like star trek) with zero chance of an accident, but dw had to take the car and the risk involved, THEN I would think it strange, even with this fear of the dh - for them both to opt for the wife.

But, I will admit I am in the minority a lot - most people, I find, have an 'it won't happen to me' mentality, and sometimes I envy it. Even with facts and statistics, they never think that they will be that individual. Perhaps it is due to experiencing the death of a parent at a young age (not sure what the statistics were on his death - but small to be sure) and having a good friend die just standing up a couple feet on a ladder to adjust his Christmas lights (I'm thinking way low likelihood too) in a freak accident that I know it can and HAS happened to my loved ones...so I tend to be firmly in that court. That if you can avoid being put in a situation to be even a small likelihood, that you should do everything you can to do so.

But, you're right, OP has every right to do whatever works for her. And I hope that all goes well...

 

[MaumeeMom]

A c-section is major abdominal surgery, and I was laid up for a good week and a half. I've been assured to be up and about within a couple of days... it's hardly "major" surgery if I can be up and about in a couple of days, imo.

Why the hell are people so up in arms about ME wanting to get the tubal done over my husband getting the V? I just don't get it. It's not like he's forcing me to get it done against my will... I don't buy the argument "you had the babies let him close the factory" - that's bull. I wonder if the people who are all up in arms are misinformed about what a TL actually entails?

ETA - I have read the following on many, many different websites during my research.

http://women.emedtv.com/laparoscopic-tubal-ligation/recovery-from-tubal-ligation.html

After your tubal ligation, you will likely feel tired and want to rest. However, the next day you should be able to get up and move around. Many patients are able to go to work the day after their tubal ligation, and others may be ready in two to three days; however, everyone's recovery from tubal ligation will differ. -the earliest most doctors will allow you back to work after a c-section is 3 weeks; and driving is not allowed for 1 week after a section.

In any case, you should not participate in any strenuous exercise or heavy lifting for at least a couple of days. You should expect to see your doctor for a follow-up visit about two weeks after laparoscopic surgery. -After the section, I was told to not exercise (I jog and powerwalk) for 4 weeks and to avoid stairs for a week!

Sorry folks, I'm just not seeing the TL as being "major" abdominal surgery. More involved, complicated and risky than a V, sure. Need to be put to sleep, which in and of itself involves risks totally separate from the TL, sure.... But totally not "major" and I gotta wonder if some women are just whimps and don't want to get the tubal done themselves?

No most of us are not misinformed; some of us have had personal experiences which have not turned out well.

I'm definitely not a wimp. I've been in constant pain for months. I will most likely have to go in for another repair. I'm not trying to talk you in or out of anything but to give you an honest report on what happened to me.

There are risks with any procedure. The chances of you getting an infection with a TL are higher than a man having a VS. That is just a fact. Please do not jump on the people who have given you an honest opinion just because it wasn't the one you wanted to hear. Please remember you are the one who put this out there to begin with.

A TL is not as easy as some websites make it sound. The best resource is your doctor. I hope that you and your husband go in together and speak with him or her so that you both can make an informed decision.

Good luck OP.

 

[tlbwriter]

No most of us are not misinformed; some of us have had personal experiences which have not turned out well.

And the OP knows other people IRL with personal experiences which did not turn out well. Surely she's allowed to take them into account as well as yours?

 

[I*heart*MickeyMouse]

No most of us are not misinformed; some of us have had personal experiences which have not turned out well.

I'm definitely not a wimp. I've been in constant pain for months. I will most likely have to go in for another repair. I'm not trying to talk you in or out of anything but to give you an honest report on what happened to me.

There are risks with any procedure. The chances of you getting an infection with a TL are higher than a man having a VS. That is just a fact. Please do not jump on the people who have given you an honest opinion just because it wasn't the one you wanted to hear. Please remember you are the one who put this out there to begin with.
A TL is not as easy as some websites make it sound. The best resource is your doctor. I hope that you and your husband go in together and speak with him or her so that you both can make an informed decision.

Good luck OP.

In my first post I clearly said "vasectomy is not an option for us" yet the vast majority of people chose to ignore that and throw in their opinions about my husband's loyalty and devotion to me based on the fact that we BOTH decided that I would be the one to go through a procedure.

Yes, we will both go in to talk with my doctor when the consultation is scheduled. I will bring him because this is a joint effort, this is getting done for both of our enjoyment and family planning. If she says something that changes his mind then he and i will have another sit-down and decide for sure what to do. (eta: But I don't think that will happen, don't hope it will happen, don't expect it to happen. If it does, it does. I don't really think she'll say much to try and sway him kwim? But whatever... )

I am sorry you are in constant pain (from a tubal?) and I welcomed every single piece of advice pertaining to the tubal. I will take everything into consideration. I asked for the good and the bad stories. The only thing I did not want to hear was anything about a vasectomy because I said from the get-go it's not an option.

I will never say that general anesthesia is 100% safe, but I am NOT in the least bit scared about it. I'll probably have butterflies before going in, but I am not going to live my life being paranoid about every little thing that could potentially happen to me. There are MUCH MUCH MUCH more risky things that we all do on a daily basis.

I am NOT one of those people who say "it will never happen to me"... I am very much a realist. But with limits and within reason. I won't text and drive, I would never try illegal drugs growing up... you get the picture. But IN MY OPINION this is not one of those kinds of situations.

 

[DisneyDizzy]

I'm wondering why your doc won't re-prescribe the pill? I'm 37 and mine was all too happy to give me either the bc patch or the pill. There's no extra side effects, unless you're a smoker...at least as far as I can tell...

I'm 37 and had a blood clot while on the pill. So I can't take the pill ever again. Bummer. We just had a baby. After a whole bunch of misadventures, my husband got the big V.

OP, my OB recommended the Essure procedure. It's done in the office, one day of recovery and is permanent. I was scheduled to have it done but had my appendix rupture. After 2 weeks in the hospital 4 weeks after giving birth to a preemie in the NICU, I sent my hubs to the doctor! Figured I'd done enough already.

I would have no reservations about getting the Essure procedure. My friend had it and was back to work that afternoon. You can google it.

 

[brergnat]

The mortality rate for a tubal ligation is a lot higher than for a vasectomy (4 in 100,000) but it's still not "pretty high," at least not by my standards. BTW, it's less than the mortality rate for pregnancy - if she announced she was going to get pregnant, would you tell her she has a "pretty high risk of death?"

I was not referencing the procedure itself, but the GENERAL ANESTHESIA. Talk to any anesthesiologist and he/she will give you the risk of cardiac arrest or stroke on the table. It's a lot higher than 4 in 100,000...

There is a baseline risk. Then, for every pound a person is overweight, that risk goes up. For every health condition (known or unknown) that person is dealing with, the risk goes up.

The bottom line is, being put to sleep is dangerous. No matter what procedure is being done.

 

[tlbwriter]

Because sane, rational couples IMO would make the decision together that poses the least risk and would be by far the most likely to leave their children with two parents at the end of it.

No. Sane, rational couples do not always make the decision that poses the least risk. If they did that, they wouldn't have children at all. They would never drive on vacation. They would never own a house with stairs. Sane, rational couples look at the odds. They weigh the risks vs the benefits. In this case, the odds of something going wrong with the TL, while larger than something going wrong with the Big V, are still very small. Small enough to be considered safe. And the benefit is that the OP is emotionally ready, willing, and able to take this step, while her DH is not.

In the Walmart example, both couples would have equal chance of getting into a car accident and dying - thus, yes, very nice for the one without the fear doing it. But if the husband was going to be able to beam there (yes, like star trek) with zero chance of an accident, but dw had to take the car and the risk involved, THEN I would think it strange, even with this fear of the dh - for them both to opt for the wife.

But you are changing the analogy. You are ignoring the fact that the husband has a crippling fear of doing what you suggest. The way you phrase it, the "beaming to Walmart" is what he's afraid of. And since the risk of an accident if the wife drives to Walmart is so small, what's wrong with her choosing to drive?

But, I will admit I am in the minority a lot - most people, I find, have an 'it won't happen to me' mentality, and sometimes I envy it. Even with facts and statistics, they never think that they will be that individual. Perhaps it is due to experiencing the death of a parent at a young age (not sure what the statistics were on his death - but small to be sure) and having a good friend die just standing up a couple feet on a ladder to adjust his Christmas lights (I'm thinking way low likelihood too) in a freak accident that I know it can and HAS happened to my loved ones...so I tend to be firmly in that court. That if you can avoid being put in a situation to be even a small likelihood, that you should do everything you can to do so.

Believe me, I understand "this happened to me" fear. But the fact is that most people didn't lose their parent at a young age. Most people don't die from standing on a ladder. And most women don't die from a TL. It's hard to get past that, but you can't live your life constantly muttering "OMG, this is going to kill me." Nor can you insist that others must live their lives that way.

 

[tlbwriter]

I was not referencing the procedure itself, but the GENERAL ANESTHESIA. Talk to any anesthesiologist and he/she will give you the risk of cardiac arrest or stroke on the table. It's a lot higher than 4 in 100,000...

There is a baseline risk. Then, for every pound a person is overweight, that risk goes up. For every health condition (known or unknown) that person is dealing with, the risk goes up.

The bottom line is, being put to sleep is dangerous. No matter what procedure is being done.

The mortality rate for TL is 4 in 100,000. That's the statistic. It doesn't say "Oh, but another 100 or so die from the anesthesia." This is the risk from the entire procedure, anesthesia and all. It may be lower than the average risk from general anesthesia because patients are generally young and healthy. After all, that average includes people having open heart surgery, organ transplants, etc.

 

[MNfamilycruiser]

I'm 37 and had a blood clot while on the pill. So I can't take the pill ever again. Bummer. We just had a baby. After a whole bunch of misadventures, my husband got the big V.

OP, my OB recommended the Essure procedure. It's done in the office, one day of recovery and is permanent. I was scheduled to have it done but had my appendix rupture. After 2 weeks in the hospital 4 weeks after giving birth to a preemie in the NICU, I sent my hubs to the doctor! Figured I'd done enough already.

I would have no reservations about getting the Essure procedure. My friend had it and was back to work that afternoon. You can google it.

Yes - I am going to second this AGAIN!! Since it hasn't been commented on.....
Really - provides the same result as the TL - but WITHOUT the surgery/anesthesia.

I went by myself, to the doctors office - the whole thing including the "recovery" time was less than 90 min. "Recovery" was resting in a chair for 20 minutes.

I got up, went shopping, went and worked at my kids school for 2 hours and then came home.

 

[brergnat]

The mortality rate for TL is 4 in 100,000. That's the statistic. It doesn't say "Oh, but another 100 or so die from the anesthesia." This is the risk from the entire procedure, anesthesia and all. It may be lower than the average risk from general anesthesia because patients are generally young and healthy. After all, that average includes people having open heart surgery, organ transplants, etc.

Yeah, now try researching how the mortality rate increases when the patient on the table is overweight.

If a patient is overweight (and I have no idea if the OP is, but just in case), that risk QUADRUPLES. That's because fat absorbs the anesthesia gases, making it less effective, so MORE needs to be used to receive the desired "knock out" effect. I have a good friend who is an anesthesiologist. He says that overweight patients are his worst nightmare. They are very difficult to calibrate properly, and he says the entire surgery is so much more stressful for him. Many, many patients are required to lose weight prior to a surgical procedure for this reason.