Question for parents regarding MySpace

[MrsPete]

Oh, Chris: I think the Chatrooms have been around for awhile BUT I think with the inception of MYSPACE it just opened up allot more opportunities for underage youngsters/teens to come in contact with predators. Once again their innocence and naivete got them hooked up with people they should not be associating with at all.

I think this is truthful.

We've always had creeps in our society who've been on the prowl for young kids. The internet has been a boon to those low-lifes: chatrooms, MySpace, people like this will use whatever they can to find kids. MySpace just makes it easier for them. MySpace certainly isn't the only way they can find naive young kids, but it absolutely a tool that they can use.

 

[MrsPete]

What a wonderful comparison. My space is no better/worse than any other internet site (including the DIS). If parents are doing their job correctly by monitoring their children and teaching their children about the dangers of on line predators, then there isn't a problem.

I absolutely agree that parents must teach their children how to use the internet safely. It's going to continue to be a part of their lives, so to avoid it altogether because something bad might happen is going to be harmful in the long run.

The problem with MySpace is that it gives that false sense of security. Kids have the idea that nothing bad can happen to them there. Many of them who'd never give out too much information in a different area "let their guard down" on MySpace.

 

[MrsPete]

It no longer goes by age. Anyone, at any age, can set their MySpace page to private.

Nope. And you read my original post wrong. Those were two separate items in a list, not connected topics.

 

[MELSMICE]

You go through someone else's webpage -- you just click around a few times until you find the person you're looking for. My students were arguing about it in class one day, and they demonstrated how to do it. In a matter of minutes, one girl was able to access several pages that other students declared were "private". The other students were amazed that their sense of security was so completely false.

I'm seriously wondering if those pages were really private that they accessed.

If I go through my own MySpace page & then click on to one of my DD's (which are private, but they are one of my "friends") I can see who all their friends are. I can click through to any of their friends that don't have a private page. However, if I click on a friend that is set to private I can not get through to that friend.

If I log on with one of my DD's e-mail & password I can then click through to any of their friends. If I get to one of their friends pages I can not click through to those friends that are private. Anyone that is not private I can gain access to.

I am not aware of any other way to get to a private page unless you are listed as their friend or have access to someone else's password info. I have asked my DD's & their friends & they don't know of another way either.

Could you ask your students if they will share the information they have on how to achieve getting to private pages? As a parent whose DD's have their pages set to private I would be very interested to have this information.

Also, it would seem to me that MySpace is falsely advertising that pages can be set to private.

 

[EeyoreFan1]

I AM a Teen; and I dislike myspace. I don't plan on having an account, I think you can set your account to private, but I'm sure there's some way to hack into it. It's just not a good idea.. And I'm against it.. Not willing to take that risk.

 

[momrek06]

We've always had creeps in our society who've been on the prowl for young kids. The internet has been a boon to those low-lifes: chatrooms, MySpace, people like this will use whatever they can to find kids. MySpace just makes it easier for them. MySpace certainly isn't the only way they can find naive young kids, but it absolutely a tool that they can use.

ITA

 

[disneygals]

That is an even bigger problem...parents UNAWARE of MYSPACE(and all the other sites out there) to even begin with...then not aware that their kids might be even on the site..and parents not realizing they even need to talk/discuss/warn their youngsters/teens about all that there is out there on the internet. Hopefully, more and more schools will inform and educate the children and parents today at their school meetings and open houses all about the internet and internet safety.

This is exactly why the "media hype" was a good thing. It let parents know that it was out there and to stay on top of it!

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I am also on it and both of my kids are on my friends list. My space is bad if it is used bad. The only people on our friends list are people that we know. Its what is put on your profile that attracts the bad. If you are careful about what you post, its like everything else out there. My kids are 19 and 17 so they aren't that young, so maybe that is why my opinion is what it is.

 

[momrek06]

This is exactly why the "media hype" was a good thing. It let parents know that it was out there and to stay on top of it!

Exactly ...this is why I posted yesterday about this NOT being a situation where the "media just wants a story" as another poster stated...(wdw poly princess) said.."apparently the press will do anything for a story"...PLEASE MEDIA, PLEASE PRESS continue to report the alleged problems with MYSPACE and incidences involving predators and young teens....it just might help a parent that is unaware of the dangers of some of these internet sites and chatrooms.

 

[Tiffer]

Yup, my DD has had one since she was 9. She is a very responsible girl. Quite frankly, she was so interested in getting one, now she rarely ever even goes on it. It is set to private and other users need to e-mail and ask permission to join her "friends" and vice versa. Then she has to run it by me before she accepts. I have her password and randomly check it as I do with ther e-mail acount.

Ther is nudity and obscenity everywhere, not just My Space. I don't think she see's anything inappropriate on mysapce b/c of the way we she uses it.

I think you have to know your kid and their level of responsibility. Alot of people jump on the no My-Space bandwagon without realizing that you can have control, it's not necesarily a free for all, if you don't want it to be.

 

[cruisnfamily]

You go through someone else's webpage -- you just click around a few times until you find the person you're looking for. My students were arguing about it in class one day, and they demonstrated how to do it. In a matter of minutes, one girl was able to access several pages that other students declared were "private". The other students were amazed that their sense of security was so completely false.

You do need a little bit of starting info: a certain high school, a certain area, or someone else's name, but it is very possible and very easy to find a private page.

We've done this again and again. I believe you are talking about a bug that existed a while back that has long ago been fixed.

I know all that info about the private pages I've tried to access, I've found their pages on their friends pages, I've clicked and clicked...no, there is no way to view a private page. If there is, could you please post step by step directions as to how to do it because I'd love to be able to.

 

[cruisnfamily]

The problem with MySpace is that it gives that false sense of security. Kids have the idea that nothing bad can happen to them there. Many of them who'd never give out too much information in a different area "let their guard down" on MySpace.

This is why I monitor my child's myspace (as well as those of many of her friends). No personal info is allowed including pictures of the kids in school uniforms, city they live in, etc. As a matter of fact, according to my DD's page, she lives in Tajikastan or some such place, her birthday is not her birthday, her name is not her name, ....you get the picture. We're very careful.

 

[tinkersmama]

That is an even bigger problem...parents UNAWARE of MYSPACE(and all the other sites out there) to even begin with...then not aware that their kids might be even on the site..and parents not realizing they even need to talk/discuss/warn their youngsters/teens about all that there is out there on the internet. Hopefully, more and more schools will inform and educate the children and parents today at their school meetings and open houses all about the internet and internet safety.

That's not a myspace problem, that's a parenting problem.

 

[MELSMICE]

If there is, could you please post step by step directions as to how to do it because I'd love to be able to.

I just asked this a few posts back also.

I would also like step by step instructions. MrsPete, could you please ask your students how this is done?

I just asked my oldest DD, again, if there was any possible way to get to a private profile & she said that as far as she knows, there is not.

You can see their home page, but you can not click through to their actual profile.

 

[momrek06]

That's not a myspace problem, that's a parenting problem.

Ohh, absolutely this is definitely a situation where the parents need to learn/educate/inform themselves about the Internet and what is out there that our kids should and should not be exposed to on a daily basis.

But you have to admit...it was not until incident after incident involving young teens and predators who met THROUGH the site MYSPACE that so many parents/teachers/law enforcement DECIDED to let parents know what is out there our kids are looking at regularly.

It seemed to be a common ground of MYSPACE that was always in the News. I realize there are chatrooms out there and have been out there...but you did not see police on the Nightly News talking about a particular chatroom instead it seems to always be MYSPACE that is mentioned. Very sad!

Like I said before, I have friends that are on MYSPACE and allot of people use the site VERY appropriately...it is the predators that are making the bad name for MYSPACE.

 

[tinkersmama]

Ohh, absolutely this is definitely a situation where the parents need to learn/educate/inform themselves about the Internet and what is out there that our kids should and should not be exposed to on a daily basis.

But you have to admit...it was not until incident after incident involving young teens and predators who met THROUGH the site MYSPACE that so many parents/teachers/law enforcement DECIDED to let parents know what is out there our kids are looking at regularly.

It seemed to be a common ground of MYSPACE that was always in the News. I realize there are chatrooms out there and have been out there...but you did not see police on the Nightly News talking about a particular chatroom instead it seems to always be MYSPACE that is mentioned. Very sad!

Like I said before, I have friends that are on MYSPACE and allot of people use the site VERY appropriately...it is the predators that are making the bad name for MYSPACE.

If it took the media putting a bad light on myspace for parents to talk to their children about myspace, then so glad it happened. But I also do not think that it should take someone else being a victim before a parent talks to their child. I talk to my DD4 about strangers, mean people, and good touch and bad touch now, so if, God forbid, anything should ever happen to her, she knows what to do.

But, back to myspace being in the news. When the internet and chatrooms first came out, there was a huge buzz about chatrooms and predators. Now that myspace is out there, the buzz is about that. I want to protect my child and my family (I watch my cousins's myspace pages) but I am not going to forbid them to do things that they like. If we kept our children away from anything that would possibly put them in the hands of a predator, then they wouldn't even be allowed to go outside. You just have to teach your kids how to be safe and recognize trouble. To be able to do that, you have to have communication with them and monitor them.

 

[Soccermom-Cheri]

This is exactly why the "media hype" was a good thing. It let parents know that it was out there and to stay on top of it!

Exactly. I try and stay on top of the computer world and I had never heard of Myspace (or Facebook, or ..) until the news. We watch our children as closely as we can, but they are out of our sight for many hours of the day, don't tell us everything (no matter what you think) and new internet things crop up faster than we can keep track of. I hope the media lets me know about all of this stuff and I'll make up my own mind what I'll allow.

 

[luvflorida]

First, the "set to private" thing is a joke -- it takes about five minutes to figure out how to get around that.

Count me in as another one who would like the step-by-step procedure for getting around the private setting. I just don't believe it's possible.

DD16 has a myspace account and I have absolutely no problem with her having one. Now, is she allowed to do whatever she wants on myspace? Absolutely not. I AM HER PARENT AND IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO MONITOR HER ONLINE ACTIVITIES. Her myspace is set to private. The only people who have access to her page are the people she allows to have access to her page. She knows that her dad and I can ask, (and we do), to see her page any time we want. She has no problem with this because there is nothing there that we shouldn't see. There is nothing inappropriate. Many times she is calling one of us to come and see what she's done to her layout or to see something she's added to her page. There are no secrets and there is nothing to hide.

Most of daughter's friends also have myspace accounts and they link to each other's pages. Yes, you can access someone else's myspace page through another account, but ONLY if it is NOT set to private. If it's truly set to private, the only thing that anyone else can see is a photo, if they choose to put one up, location, which in many cases is not the location where they really live, and age, which may or may not be their real age. For awhile, my daughter had her age set at 99. The point is, if the page is set to private, NOBODY can access the page UNLESS the person has allowed that person access.

It is none of my business if other parents do not allow their teens to have access to myspace. However, it bothers me when parents don't have all the information necessary to make an informed decision, and instead will take everything they hear at face value. Yes, I know some teens have gotten themselves in trouble on myspace and I know there are sex perverts and predators searching through myspace, but teens have gotten themselves in trouble in a lot of other ways and sex perverts and predators are everywhere, not just on the internet. And, again, if your page is set to private, NOBODY can contact you unless YOU want them to.

I've said it again and again. It comes down to PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY and OPEN COMMUNICATION with your teen. I don't believe it is irresponsible to allow your child/teen to have a myspace account, but it IS irresponsible not to know what they are doing on myspace, or any other online activity. Parents, as well as teens, certainly need to be informed and educated about internet use.

 

[momrek06]

I've said it again and again. It comes down to PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY and OPEN COMMUNICATION with your teen. I don't believe it is irresponsible to allow your child/teen to have a myspace account, but it IS irresponsible not to know what they are doing on myspace, or any other online activity. Parents, as well as teens, certainly need to be informed and educated about internet use.

ITA ABSOLUTELY ...could NOT have said it better myself. This is exactly where I was thinking and going whenever I spoke on this Thread re: MYSPACE.

Parents: You really need to keep those lines of communication OPEN-WIDE!!!
For your child's well-being and safety and for your sanity!!!

 

[luvflorida]

And one more thing, and I really don't mean to be rude, but how in the heck do parents not know about things like myspace? I keep hearing and reading about parents saying that they're glad the media reports on things like myspace and other internet activities. I'm not saying they shouldn't be reporting on these things because they definitely should, but how can you live with a teenager and not already know about myspace, chatrooms, IMing, etc.

Don't parents see their teen on the computer and ASK exactly what they're doing?