Question for parents regarding MySpace

[WDW Poly Princess]

My point behind the bad media is that they blame the site for the problems- that kids are getting into trouble with predators because they use MySpace. The problem isn't the site at all, but kids not knowing basic internet/life safety skills. If I actually saw a news report that said "Parents, this is the kind of thing that is going on, this is what you can do to monitor it, these are the things that you need to explain to your kids, etc.", I would be really impressed, but I'm yet to see anything like that.

Tons of kids have blogs/online journals for example. If someone wanted to find a kid to take advantage of, it would be just as easy for them to collect info from them from their journal, use it to "befriend" them, and go that way.

Xanga, for instance, is really similar to MySpace, but I have never heard it mentioned in the news. Shouldn't parents be just as educated about that? Or OkCupid? I'm afraid that by putting so much emphasis on the "evils" of one site, it gives parents tunnel vision- "Okay, my kid doesn't have a MySpace, so I don't have to worry."

Dr Phil actually did a show the other day about women who have "met" men online, fallen in love with them, and sent them thousands of dollars (the men claiming they needed $ so they could come visit the woman, have a lifesaving operation, etc.). The show sent out investigators who discovered that the photos that the men sent to these women were of male models, and that the men were leading on many, many women at once.

It seems crazy that anyone would be silly enough to believe what these men were telling them, and to actually send money, but it happens. The women were lonely, and really wanted to believe that they had found someone, so common sense went out the window. So the question is, if grown women are falling victim to internet scams, how can we protect children from the same thing?

I got off on a big tangent there, but all I'm trying to say is that one internet site is not the problem- the overall lack of education about internet safety is.

 

[MELSMICE]

Don't parents see their teen on the computer and ASK exactly what they're doing?

Unfortunately, I think there are some people that don't.


Disclaimer - I'm not talking about specifically about anyone that responded on this thread - I am talking in general.

 

[Soccermom-Cheri]

And one more thing, and I really don't mean to be rude, but how in the heck do parents not know about things like myspace? I keep hearing and reading about parents saying that they're glad the media reports on things like myspace and other internet activities. I'm not saying they shouldn't be reporting on these things because they definitely should, but how can you live with a teenager and not already know about myspace, chatrooms, IMing, etc.

Don't parents see their teen on the computer and ASK exactly what they're doing?

I live with a teenager ...DS has 2-3 hours of homework, golf lessons, family time and chaperoned face-to-face friend time, and is only allowed to IM one friend 400 miles away (in my presence). There isn't a whole lot of computer time (yet) - the computer is in the kitchen BTW.

I asked him about all of this and he said, "sure Mom, I've heard of it. It's no big deal. XXX showed it to me at his house." That's why I had never heard of this. I wonder what else he's seen at XXX's house

 

[ChrisFL]

My point behind the bad media is that they blame the site for the problems- that kids are getting into trouble with predators because they use MySpace. The problem isn't the site at all, but kids not knowing basic internet/life safety skills. If I actually saw a news report that said "Parents, this is the kind of thing that is going on, this is what you can do to monitor it, these are the things that you need to explain to your kids, etc.", I would be really impressed, but I'm yet to see anything like that.

Tons of kids have blogs/online journals for example. If someone wanted to find a kid to take advantage of, it would be just as easy for them to collect info from them from their journal, use it to "befriend" them, and go that way.

Xanga, for instance, is really similar to MySpace, but I have never heard it mentioned in the news. Shouldn't parents be just as educated about that? Or OkCupid? I'm afraid that by putting so much emphasis on the "evils" of one site, it gives parents tunnel vision- "Okay, my kid doesn't have a MySpace, so I don't have to worry."

Dr Phil actually did a show the other day about women who have "met" men online, fallen in love with them, and sent them thousands of dollars (the men claiming they needed $ so they could come visit the woman, have a lifesaving operation, etc.). The show sent out investigators who discovered that the photos that the men sent to these women were of male models, and that the men were leading on many, many women at once.

It seems crazy that anyone would be silly enough to believe what these men were telling them, and to actually send money, but it happens. The women were lonely, and really wanted to believe that they had found someone, so common sense went out the window. So the question is, if grown women are falling victim to internet scams, how can we protect children from the same thing?

I got off on a big tangent there, but all I'm trying to say is that one internet site is not the problem- the overall lack of education about internet safety is.

Exactly, and my problem with it isn't the fact that the information is on the news, it's HOW they say it, as if MySpace is ONLY for predators to use, etc. then Im considered strange by my co-workers because they dont have all of the facts about the site and only go by what they hear on the news.

 

[luvflorida]

My point behind the bad media is that they blame the site for the problems- that kids are getting into trouble with predators because they use MySpace. The problem isn't the site at all, but kids not knowing basic internet/life safety skills. If I actually saw a news report that said "Parents, this is the kind of thing that is going on, this is what you can do to monitor it, these are the things that you need to explain to your kids, etc.", I would be really impressed, but I'm yet to see anything like that.

Tons of kids have blogs/online journals for example. If someone wanted to find a kid to take advantage of, it would be just as easy for them to collect info from them from their journal, use it to "befriend" them, and go that way.

Xanga, for instance, is really similar to MySpace, but I have never heard it mentioned in the news. Shouldn't parents be just as educated about that? Or OkCupid? I'm afraid that by putting so much emphasis on the "evils" of one site, it gives parents tunnel vision- "Okay, my kid doesn't have a MySpace, so I don't have to worry."

Dr Phil actually did a show the other day about women who have "met" men online, fallen in love with them, and sent them thousands of dollars (the men claiming they needed $ so they could come visit the woman, have a lifesaving operation, etc.). The show sent out investigators who discovered that the photos that the men sent to these women were of male models, and that the men were leading on many, many women at once.

It seems crazy that anyone would be silly enough to believe what these men were telling them, and to actually send money, but it happens. The women were lonely, and really wanted to believe that they had found someone, so common sense went out the window. So the question is, if grown women are falling victim to internet scams, how can we protect children from the same thing?

I got off on a big tangent there, but all I'm trying to say is that one internet site is not the problem- the overall lack of education about internet safety is.

I completely agree!

 

[Pugdog007]

You go through someone else's webpage -- you just click around a few times until you find the person you're looking for. My students were arguing about it in class one day, and they demonstrated how to do it. In a matter of minutes, one girl was able to access several pages that other students declared were "private". The other students were amazed that their sense of security was so completely false.

You do need a little bit of starting info: a certain high school, a certain area, or someone else's name, but it is very possible and very easy to find a private page.

As several others have already asked of you, I'd like step by step instructions of how to do this. I think you are mistaken and are talking about a problem that has been corrected. If you are clicking through and seeing more than name, location, age and a picture, that page is not set to private.

 

[sha_lyn]

You go through someone else's webpage -- you just click around a few times until you find the person you're looking for. My students were arguing about it in class one day, and they demonstrated how to do it. In a matter of minutes, one girl was able to access several pages that other students declared were "private". The other students were amazed that their sense of security was so completely false.

Nope, doesn't work. Tried going to DS's page and clicking on his friends. I tried it logged in as myself, and not logged in at all. I could not view the page of anyone who is et to private.
Nnnow OTOH, if I were logged on as DS then of course I could view their page, since they have DS set as one of their friends. Perhaps that is what MrsPete meant.

 

[MELSMICE]

Still wondering if we can get step-by-step instructions from MrsPete. Hopefully, you are asking your students today how they can do this.

 

[MrsPete]

I'm seriously wondering if those pages were really private that they accessed.

If what I saw was a case of ONE STUDENT whose "private" page was accessed, I would discount it. I would say that student had made a mistake when creating the page, or that student had at some point "given permission" to the student who was demonstrating . . . but it wasn't just one student. In my classroom, the girls who were showing us how to get to private pages accessed SEVERAL DIFFERENT people's pages. I don't believe they ALL made the same mistakes.

I believe you are talking about a bug that existed a while back that has long ago been fixed.

My students did show me these things LAST school year, but if there was a bug once . . . plus that's not the only concern with the site.

Still wondering if we can get step-by-step instructions from MrsPete. Hopefully, you are asking your students today how they can do this.

I'm not at school today, but I can't ask my students for an at-school demo. That website is "blocked" from our school's server now, and it can't be accessed from school computers any longer. Whether you love or hate MySpace, you have to agree that this is a good thing: it's a "play space" and has no business being utilized during the school day.

Here's how they did it: They'd start with their own pages, then they'd click around from friend to friend until they found the pages of the girls who swore their pages were "set to private". Believe it or not, but I saw it with my own eyes, and I saw the reactions of the girls who believed their pages were genuinely "private". They were shocked.

It was especially easy for them because they all go to school together, and they know who's friends with whom; however, a stranger who wanted more information on people could poke around and figure out such information. The web of friends isn't exactly hard to trace, and if everyone gives just a little information (Ohio State Rules! on one page, "We beat the Vikings last Friday" on another page, "our town just instituted a curfew for teens" on another page . . . a stranger who's motivated can put these things together and pinpoint their location). They popped around from page to page, and the other girls were declaring long and loud that what they were doing was simply impossible -- though it was right in front of their eyes.

 

[cruisnfamily]

Here's how they did it: They'd start with their own pages, then they'd click around from friend to friend until they found the pages of the girls who swore their pages were "set to private". Believe it or not, but I saw it with my own eyes, and I saw the reactions of the girls who believed their pages were genuinely "private". They were shocked.

This can't be done. Try it at home and see for yourself. It doesn't work.

Unless.....if the girls who's site's were private were on the friends list of the ones doing the clicking, then of course they can see them because they are "friends". But someone who is not on the friends list of a person with a private page cannot see their page.

 

[MELSMICE]

Here's how they did it: They'd start with their own pages, then they'd click around from friend to friend until they found the pages of the girls who swore their pages were "set to private". Believe it or not, but I saw it with my own eyes, and I saw the reactions of the girls who believed their pages were genuinely "private". They were shocked.

This can't be done. Try it at home and see for yourself. It doesn't work.

Unless.....if the girls who's site's were private were on the friends list of the ones doing the clicking, then of course they can see them because they are "friends". But someone who is not on the friends list of a person with a private page cannot see their page.

I agree with cruisnfamily - unless all of us parents are total morons & every kid is pulling the wool over all of our eyes, it can't be done.

I have been on MySpace numerous times - you can't access a private page.

I realize that your students can't show you how they do it at school, but maybe they could give you some written instructions. I'm sure they could do this at home & write it down for you. The way you have described does not allow you to access a private page - unless, of course, those girls were lying & their pages really weren't private. Maybe they thought they were private but were not set properly.

This is something that concerns me because, as I said before, my DD's pages are private & if the security of MySpace really isn't secure, then there are alot of people out there being dupped into believing something that is false.

 

[sha_lyn]

Originally Posted by MrsPete
Here's how they did it: They'd start with their own pages, then they'd click around from friend to friend until they found the pages of the girls who swore their pages were "set to private". Believe it or not, but I saw it with my own eyes, and I saw the reactions of the girls who believed their pages were genuinely "private". They were shocked.

I tried it 2X over the weekend. both logged in on my account and not logged in. It does not work unless I am Logged in as DS and click on his friends that are set to private. Heck even when I get clickable email notices that one of my friends have posted, I have to log in if they are set to private.

 

[sha_lyn]

The way you have described does not allow you to access a private page - unless, of course, those girls were lying & their pages really weren't private.

Yep either they were lying (which I've know a few to do so. One mom finally went out and bought security software to block her DD from my space. The girl was inviting strangers to meet her at the bowling alley. Turns out good old mom had set up an account pretending to be a teenage boy. The DD invited "mom" to be her date)
or the girls were set as friends of the ones logged in.

Another thing that just occured to me. Since it was a public computer, probably on a network, it is possilbe that people were not logging out. If they were still logged in then you could view their accounts, or those of their friends list.

 

[MELSMICE]

Another thing that just occured to me. Since it was a public computer, probably on a network, it is possilbe that people were not logging out. If they were still logged in then you could view their accounts, or those of their friends list.

That could be, although I thought you still needed the password.

 

[sha_lyn]

That could be, although I thought you still needed the password.

I believe it would depend on how long it had been since they signed in. I know I don't have to put in my password everytime, if I'm hopping in and out of the site checking on things

Also MrePete said it was last yr. It is very possible that Myspace has shortend the amount of time an inactive account stays logged in. It would also depend in the software running on the computers, such as those that automatically input usernames/passwords.
I bet a lot of the kids didnt' think about the fact that they weren't on their home computer. Heck I know I've done that at my mom's or sisters. I'd click save passwords etc. I recently had to help someone on a yahoo group straighten out their account. Her sister (who is an MD BTW very bright person) was using her computer and accidentaly changed her password . The MD didn't realize that when she was on her sis computer that it it was logged into the sis account and not the MD's.