Question about who to invite to DD's 6th birthday party

[roliepolieoliefan]

I invited appr. 14 kids to DD's 6th birthday. All of them live on our street and she plays with them all the time or occasionally and has been invited to their birthday parties. Two exceptions, a boy DD went to pre-school with last year and a little girl that DD specifically requested to invite from her kindergarten class.

Thats all we were going to invite. Her party is at a mini Dave and Busters place and is $16.00 a kid, includes everything, but I'll need to buy extra tokens and food for the parents and family who attend.

Today DD got an invite for a birthday party for a girl in her class not invited to the party. Now I'm thinking should I invite all the girls. That would be 8 more kids. I just sent out the invitations. The party isn't for 3 more weeks and actually the invite DD got today is for the weekend before DD's party.

School just started 3 weeks ago BTW. Would you invite the girls from her class or leave it like it is? THX!

 

[Hannathy]

I always invited all the same sex from their class when they were that young. I think you are going to feel funny all year when she gets invites from her class and she didn't invite them because I think most kids do invite kids from their class.

How is she going to feel going to that party knowing the next weekend that little girl that was nice to her Isn't going to be going to her party. And kids talk that little girl will know she didn't get invited. Did you invite any girls from school? because you know she will get invited to parties from class.

 

[MSSANDRA]

This is always hard. Do you invite any girls from her class?? If not, and money is tight, I think you are ok. If you invited some of them and can swing it, it is nice to invite them all. It is so early in the year that it is hard to know what the birthday "trend" is going to be. If you choose not to invite the girls from class and she gets a lot of invites this year you could always do a non-birthday girls party later on.

 

[ireland_nicole]

imo, parents are not expecting that food and tokens will be provided to them or to any siblings they might bring with them (unless you've specifically invited the sibs, and then I would). Personally, I'd invite the girls from the class. It's a good social opportunity for your DD class wise, and prevents hard feelings later. A lot of the kids probably won't be able to make it anyway, but I think it's better to ask if you can.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'd invite the girls, especially since you only invited one girl from her class. I make sure that everyone who attends my children's parties know a few other kids there, especially at a party like yours, where they tend to pair up in groups of 2 - 3.

 

[Amanda V]

My DD's 7th birthday party is on the 26th. She is very social and with school, Girl Scouts, gymnastics, friends from the neighborhood, family friends etc-we would have to invite 50 kids to include everyone. I think it is a good lesson to teach my daughter that while she is friends with a lot of pople, we can't afford to have EVERYONE at her party. She needs to choose the people she wants to celebrate her birthday with. (We have allowed 12 for her roller skating party this year). I also have a rule that if we are invited to a child's birthday, it has to be someone I know my daughter has a relationship with, not just someone in her class. We politely decline those invitations. I think it is fine to leave your guest list as is and not invite all the girls just for the sake of inviting them.

 

[deva]

I think it is fine to leave your guest list as is and not invite all the girls just for the sake of inviting them.

 

[3doodlebugsmom]

I think your guest list is fine. I don't see inviting one girl from the class as a problem. Feelings get hurt when you invite say 6 out of the 10 girls in the class.

 

[seashoreCM]

I saw a general rule once (Ann Landers?) whereby if you invite more than 50% of the class you have to invite everyone.

Except I think that is is OK to specifically not invite (1) kids who overtly don't get along* with your child and (2) kids who were invited and did not decline in advance and did not show up. I don't know how to work this into your invitation list although the simple safe way is to invite fewer than 50%.

If another kid invites your kid and your kid having a party is not inviting said other kid, then your kid should seriously think about declining, with advance notice.

Disney hints: http://www.cockam.com/disney.htm

* You can invite if you wish to in order to give one more chance to make friends.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think your guest list is fine. I don't see inviting one girl from the class as a problem. Feelings get hurt when you invite say 6 out of the 10 girls in the class.

Well, it could be a problem if this girl doesn't know anyone - it's very hard to get to know the other in 1 1/2 hours, especially at this age.

 

[ccgirl]

My DD has been going through this for a few years now as she has always been in full time pre-school, kindergarten, and now 1st grade. She does not invite everyone in the class whether they are just girls or not. There are 30 kids in the class and 15 are girls. She can invite a total of 10 children, including school friends, friends outside of school, and cousins. There were parties last year that she went to but she didn't invite them and vice versa. It is a good life lesson for her to learn that she won't get invited to everyone's party and doesn't need to invite everyone to hers. Everyone has their own budget for the party and a budget is a budget. We have to mail the invitations home, can't send them to school and the children get reprimanded if they talk about the party at school. I say leave it the way it is.

 

[2binak]

I think it is fine to leave your guest list as is and not invite all the girls just for the sake of inviting them.

She can invite a total of 10 children, including school friends, friends outside of school, and cousins. There were parties last year that she went to but she didn't invite them and vice versa. It is a good life lesson for her to learn that she won't get invited to everyone's party and doesn't need to invite everyone to hers.

and This is how we plan to handle DD's parties as she gets older. To me, a party is a time to celebrate with those closest to you.

OP - I also agree that parents and siblings of those invited should not expect you to pay for their food & tokens unless you specifically invited the parents & siblings to the party.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

:

OP - I also agree that parents and siblings of those invited should not expect you to pay for their food & tokens unless you specifically invited the parents & siblings to the party.

I don't plan to pay for siblings. There are way more than enough kids without worring about siblings.

I don't plan on paying for tokens for parents and siblings. But since this party includes my DH's and my familys also, I will be buying extra food. But that is the least of my worries because the food at this place is pretty cheap.

I'm still not sure what to do. Since DD is so young I hate for their to be hurt feelings if the subject of DD's party does come up at school.

 

[DisLaw]

I also have a rule that if we are invited to a child's birthday, it has to be someone I know my daughter has a relationship with, not just someone in her class. We politely decline those invitations.

Really? I have a friend who always used to do this too and we used to "argue" about it all the time. We have a rule in my house that when someone takes the time to invite you to a party then you attend unless you have a previous commitment. Sometimes at such a young age it is hard to say who they have a relationship with! I know most kids are thrilled to see any of their friends at the party, no matter how close friends they are.

But to answer the OP I know how hard it is to deal with these invites. For me, I usually end up inviting all the girls in class to avoid any hurt feelings. I do not include the whole Girl Scout troop though! I see how it can get out of control!

 

[eyeheartgoofy]

I would just leave it and not worry about her classmates.

Last year, in the first grade, my DD had her birthday party one week after school started. We sent invitations out about 2 weeks before school started, so there wasn't really any way of knowing who would be in her class. DD just invited 6 friends - 4 from her kindergarten class, a neighbor and a family friend. As it turns out, one of the girls we did invite from her K class was also in her first grade class. I just told DD to not mention her party at school so nobody in her class felt bad for not getting an invite. Since only one child in the class was invited, there wasn't a whole lot of party gossip going on in the classroom - it's not like there was a clique of girls who got invited and another clique who did not.

Throughout the year, DD got invited to several birthday parties. One of them was for a boy who invited the entire class, the others were for girls who invited all the girls in the class. Not once did anyone mention not getting invited to DD's birthday party in September.

This year, we did invite all the girls in DD's class plus 2 other friends ... DD is in a looping classroom (same group of kids and teacher for 1st and 2nd grades), so we knew all of the girls who would be in her class and were able to mail invitiations before school started. We had it at Chuck E. Cheese and 14 girls were in attendance. The kids were as good as gold, but that was plenty!!! I can't imagine having the 20 or so kids you might be looking at if you invite the rest of the girls in the class!!! I am glad we were able to invite all of the girls this year b/c DD was so excited, but it really wasn't a problem last year when we only wound up with one kid from DD's class at the party.

So, don't worry!!!