Question about not going to dinner!

[Goofy Girl]

We have thought, on several cruises, that we would just skip a dinner or two (especially the formal ones - we're not the dressy types), but we always get the feeling we are letting the dining staff down if we don't go to dinner in the dining room. Anyone else get that feeling? Any good suggestions on how to handle it?

Thanks!

 

[Cruisin]

I think that the servers we have had in the past genuinely looked forward to seeing us each night.
One felt bad that our 16 year old girls left Parroy Cay before the "show", because he thought they would have enjoyed it very much.
I wouldn't let the dress issue keep you from going to the dining room for dinner if I were you. Dress in the best appropriate clothing that you have ( and don't worry if it is not really formal) and go and enjoy your dinner.
Otherwise I guess you could just try to explain to your servers why you will not be there for dinner the next evening. I think you will find that they will tell you to come anyway and not worry so much about it.

 

[webray]

Hubby and I pretty much decided...we probably wouldn't eat in the dining room any on our next cruise...we would have Palo and room service..and some of the other treats up on deck. There is just so much food...we have to draw the line somewhere.

 

[alexandrew]

I never buy into the feigned disappointment of the servers when a family member i.e. DS7 and DS2 does not show up for dinner...Servers are great, efficient, funny, charming et al, but cmon, do you really think deep down they care if you show up?...They care about $....and the more chances for them to shine, the better the chance you will give them more $....

 

[Goofy Girl]

Thanks for the reality check alexandrew!

I am sure you are right, but I do buy into it! Just call me gullible, I guess!

 

[Cruisin]

alexandrew
Of course the servers want to serve you well to get their tips, that is their job after all.
But fortunately, I am not quite as cynical about the whole thing as you are. I felt that the servers we had really wanted to make our cruise experience special and did all that they could to do that for us.
We were also not pressured about the "excellent" reporting on the comment cards that a lot of people have reported.
I guess that I am with you, Goofy Girl, I am just gullible in thinking that sometimes people actually enjoy doing their jobs.

 

[SeaSpray]

alexandrew:

I am pretty cynical, I think. And I'd be inclined to agree with what you said, and was about to post my comment to say so. But then I remembered Mario. Mario is a waiter on Royal Caribbean's Nordic Empress (their smallest ship). Several years ago my brother and SIL had Mario as their waiter, and they remembered how friendly and efficient he was. When we all cruised this past summer, we happened to see Mario several times in the dining room at breakfast and lunch and we even requested his table one time. My brother spoke to him and even though Mario didn't quite remember him (several years had gone by), Mario went out of his way to make sure we had good service at ALL of our meals. He was quite an outstanding waiter! He wasn't overly "gushy" or fawned over us, but he was VERY friendly, funny, and extremely efficient which is what matters most to me. He asked who our regular dinner servers were and asked how the service was. Our servers were OK, definitely nothing special. When I mentioned this to Mario during the course of the conversation, I had no idea it'd go any further than that. Well, apparently Mario mentioned something to OUR waiter, (who's name, incidently, I don't even remember), because from that night on, he gave us noticeably better service, especially ME. LOL And I was not nasty or anything in what I had said to Mario, I just made some basic observations and told him that I wished we had him as our regular waiter.

Anyway, my point is, Mario DID care about the service we got that week, even though he did not benefit financially from it. So I dare say that there are other cruise line servers who would also care about the level of service their guests receive.

I can only hope we get a server like Mario on our future cruises, no matter which cruise line

 

[alexandrew]

I have no doubt that the servers enjoy their jobs and like making us passengers happy...and also strive to do the very best - however, I simply just don't believe that they are truly disappointed when when we aren't at dinner one particular evening - I'm realistic, not cynical....This is not a negative comment toward the dining staff at all...

 

[Carol36]

We had a great dining staff on Carnival Glory last August! They laughed with us, at us, made jokes, and we even cancelled our supper club ressies on the last night. We felt that they were genuine and thoroughly enjoyed us being there and making us happy.

Carol36

 

[The4OfUs]

Our servers got VISIBLY choked up on the last night, as DS and DD handed them notes telling them how much we'll miss them...and DS and I cried. So I don't agree in the LEAST about it being an act, we didn't find that at all. And we went back up to Palo's to say goodbye to our server there, and all 3 gave us email and contact info, and we will be getting in touch.

We did Palo's on Mexican night, and after went back down, as they had saved the lei's for us...all we did was tell them we wouldn't be there. DS was sick one night and DH stayed in the cabin with him, and they sent some rolls and such back with me...they were simply amazing, all we did in terms of not showing up was communicate with them.

The Head Server...eh...HE struck me as a bit "put on"...but we didn't have a single problem, so he didn't interact with us much, which was fine. But our 2 servers? AWESOME.

 

[inkkognito]

Speaking of tips, I would like to recommend that even if you don't go to dinner one or two nights, you still give the full amount of the suggested gratuity rather than deducting for the nights you skipped. Don't flame me, people...that is just my personal recommendation. But we always give at least the recommended amount, even when we go to Palo.
Barb
Visit the Platinum Castaway Club at: www.castawayclub.com

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I remember on our last night on the Wonder DD#2 (8) decided to stay in the club--Alun and Gavin both asked about her, and the next morning at breakfast told her they'd missed her. Maybe it was Alun's dreamy scottish accent, but I believed every word of it! The kids also loved it that by the second dinner they were known by name and preferred beverage (chocolate milk for DS, of course!)
Robin M.

 

[WDWLVR]

Lots of good advice and I agree with most of it.

I think the servers care that they are making you happy and to that end if you told them you weren't coming to dinner because you didn't want to dress up I think they would encourage you to come anyway. If, however, you told them you weren't coming the next night because you were going to Palo, or staying in port late, or maybe wanted to try something different as a family I think they would be happy for you and encourage you.

As alexandrew states that care comes from wanted to do the best job they can to get the best tip they can. I don't think it is an act or you would see through it. I do think that the servers have a great gift of being caring getting to know their families they serve so well.

Last, and in my opinion, most important. If you do skip some nights don't skip on your tip to your servers. It was your choice to not go and be served by them. They work too hard to be stiffed on the tips.

Bottom line the servers are talented, gifted, and caring. Enjoy their service and get to know them as individuals. Tip them well, but if you want to do something else a night or two to make your cruise right for you then do it!

 

[SeaSpray]

Originally posted by inkkognito
Speaking of tips, I would like to recommend that even if you don't go to dinner one or two nights, you still give the full amount of the suggested gratuity rather than deducting for the nights you skipped. Don't flame me, people...that is just my personal recommendation. But we always give at least the recommended amount, even when we go to Palo.
Barb
Visit the Platinum Castaway Club at: www.castawayclub.com

I agree with this 100%. We will have the tip money put aside even before we cruise and we will only add to that amount for good service, not take away. In all honesty, even if our service was just "ok", I would not tip any lower than the recommended amount. This is their salary, so to speak, and unless the server was extremely rude, I'd still pay the basic amount to them. I know it can't be easy to do their job, and I truly appreciate a good waiter/waitress, and tip accordingly!

 

[natdencro]

As the mother of a Magic Server, I need to just air my opinion: Yes, of course the Servers are keen to get good tips:
(Basic pay is appalling on ANY cruise ship!)
HOWEVER,they do the job because theyCHOOSE to do it!They LOVE to see you folks having a good time. My daughter constantly is on the "look out" for various items to show guests: ie: magic tricks, gifts for the children, stickers, pins and musical "instruments" (for parades) - all of which come out of her hard-earned money. Nothing upsets the CM's more than having people whinge about their cruise problems: most of which are self-inflicted.
Yes, of course you dont have to go to dinner EVERY night, but PLEASE let your Server know, if possible, as they will spend at least an hour at your sitting, wondering if you will be turning up late for your meal.(Thus making things hard for them setting up for the next sitting, or late finishing their shift). This happens on EVERY cruise!Courtesy costs nothing!And thank you to everyone,despite not attending every night rotation dinner, still pay good tips. Servers dont expect great tips, but a little appreciation makes such a difference to those who work 90hrs a week, 6months a year, 7 days a week (No days off). If you are not happy with your Server or the service, then speak to your H. Server. The Servers WANT you to do it: they ALSO dont like CM's who let Disney down!
Happy cruising!
Nat

 

[Jillie]

And I can assure you that Nat's daughter Gemma, who was our server this past April, did not disappoint. She and her assistant Andras were fabulous and deserved every tip they got. A very hardworking pair and so good to us and all of our children!! We tipped above the recommended tip and it was well deserved.

 

[Goofy Girl]

I personally feel that even if I didn't go to any meals at the dining room, I would give them suggested tip. They show up every night prepared to serve me - if I don't go, that should not impact their pay....
Just my thought....

 

[MrsPete]

I don't think you should feel compelled to go to dinner every night -- or any night, if you so choose. It wouldn't be my choice, but it's also not my business where you choose to eat! There are plenty of non-rotation dining choices.

I do agree with the others, however, that you should still tip the servers. They are there, prepared to serve your dinner every night. Plus they work at the buffets at breakfast and lunch, and you'll benefit from their efforts there.

 

[eye R.N.]

I can understand alexandrew POV but our experience is in direct contrast. We happened to meet our server one morning at Topsiders when it was just DH & I having breakfast. He enquired after the children (by name) and when he was told our son was still in bed (with a magraine) he came back with a plate of fruit and bread from the buffet line, for us to take back to our son. Frankly, our waiter was more thoughtful than I was at that moment. And he was about to leave to go see his own family so I know there were other things on his mind.

Now for the question. I have routinely added phone cards to our tip envelopes and for the folks serving the Tea. Are these appreciated by the wait staff? I know the couselsor's enjoy them, or at least that is what they tell me.

 

[Horace Horsecollar]

Just another comment about tipping anyway... When you tip your dinner servers, you're indirectly tipping for breakfast and lunch service -- even if though you normally have different servers at those meals. Your tips to your dinner servers the are for the work they do all day, and your breakfast and lunch servers get tips from their dinner table guests.