question about being responsible for underage alcohol consumption

[laurajetter]

My mom is throwing a surprise birthday party for my 18 yo sister. She will be holding the party at a restaurant and got a deal where it's a fixed price per person and they have a choice of 5 different menu items, and soft drinks, iced tea and coffee are free.

She was telling me about it over the phone then commented that if anyone orders alcohol that she won't pay for it and wants them to understand that they have to pay for it. My gut reaction was that she shouldn't allow anyone to get alcohol at all. She said, "Well I don't know if some of her friends are over 21 or not" (the roommate is coming up with the guest list)

I just thought that if someone older gets alcohol it just seems harder to keep track of if any of the underage kids are getting anything, and if they did, my mom could get in trouble for 'letting' them get it. She seemed to think that who is she to tell them (the drinking age ones) they can't order alcohol; they are in a restaurant, and if they order it and pay for it she doesn't feel it's her place to tell them not to.

I just don't like the idea but wanted to find out from you all what the ramifications are of an adult hosting a party at a restaurant and the older kids having drinks in the presence of minors...is that okay or am I right to worry?

 

[GEM]

Won't the restaurant card anyone who orders alcohol? Especially if they look young enough to be remotely questionable?

 

[Mermaid02]

Since they are in a restaurant and the waitstaff is serving the drinks and being paid by the different patrons for the drinks... I believe the restaurant is responsible and I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[mudnuri]

It would be the bartender's responsibility to make sure that it was a person of legal drinking age consuming the drinks, not your mom.

I bartend- and while it's not 'illegal' for those under 21 to be in my bar, we have a set policy that you can not be in the bar if you are under 21...to totally eliminate this problem. It's my bartender license, and the bar owners operating license on the line-

Brandy

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

It is the restaurants responsibility. At least she is letting them know that she is abdicating her responsibility it is fine. But isn't it possible there are guests over the age of 21 that will be there.

 

[laurajetter]

Won't the restaurant card anyone who orders alcohol? Especially if they look young enough to be remotely questionable?

Ha, don't know why I didn't think of that! I guess I was just thinking of it as if she were hosting a party in her own home or something, but you're right, I guess the wait staff would take care of that.

 

[Hillbeans]

Could they do some sort of wristband procedure?

I would imagine the wait staff would be responsible for carding the minors and your mom should speak with the restaurant manager about really sticking to that policy.

 

[VioltePrincess]

at my daughter's sweet 16, where 90% of the guests were in high school, I decided not to serve alcohol to the adult guests. I told the bartender that I knew she wouldn't serve underage drinkers, but that I was nervous that the kids might get drinks anyhow. I just didn't want there to be any question about who was responsible, so I didn't serve it at all...and all of my adult guests understood.

 

[MScott1851]

The restaurant should be responsible for the verification of age, just like they are the rest of the time with all their other patrons. Not sure why this would be different?

I mean when I was still 19 or 20 in college, plenty of my friends were over 21. We weren't segregated at restaurants or dinner parties to protect the hosts. The wait staff carded people who ordered, and that was that. Wristbands or handstamps aren't usually used unless it's a nightclub setting with tons of people milling about and dark corners, etc.