Quarantine and chill and kindness chatty clubhouse: Jump in and join the conversation! All is welcome!

[easyas123]

Good morning to you all -

Nothing on the agenda today and I'm getting tired of being tired, bored and sitting at home doing nothing! In truth though I'm glad to have this week to "do nothing" as I think my body needs it, even if my mind if fighting it. We've already decided to go out & about tomorrow, get out of the house - do a spot of shopping we need to do, maybe go out for lunch. Friday we will have our family holiday meal, a mish-mash of things including veal parm and crab bisque and chocolate peanut butter cake.

He's sleeping right now. He feels worse at night - the too hot/then too cold thing that makes it hard to get comfortable, but he wasn't feeling too bad yesterday afternoon, so I hope today is also better.

Ah yes, my husband experienced similar, he had several nights in a row where he was sweating like crazy. It seemed to be the beginning of him feeling better for longer during the day. Hopefully your son has the same experience., and it's quick to leave him.

as we head to WDW for New Years!

Have fun! Where are you staying? We head down at the end of January for a few nights at WL.

Welp I'm not sure what I'm going to get into today. I might take down the decorations inside the house. It involves hauling a lot of stuff up one or two fights of stairs and then into the attic so it may be a slow go. I think I'll set a goal of getting everything up to the second story and ready to go up in the attic. They can be put away at another time this week, plus I think I'll leave the outside lights up thru this New Years weekend. Speaking of New Years-

QOTD - Do you have any New Years plans or traditions?

We...do not. We don't usually go out - we aren't anti-going out, more like to lazy to make the effort and it seems a chore to stay up to midnight as we aren't night owls So for us it will be a evening like most others. We don't stay up and watch the ball come down or anything, although I enjoy seeing the early reports of fireworks and celebrations in time zones ahead of ours, that gives me a taste of the celebration before I'm in bed and asleep hours before midnight! We don't have a traditional New Years Day meal either, although my MIL does and she is aghast every year when she finds out we aren't eating whatever it is she deems good luck to eat. We've been trying to get to the movies since before Christmas though, so New Years Day might be a good day to go to the movies if we find something we want to see.

Ok - it's after 8 so I should make the effort to change out of pajamas and do something around here. Of at least start thinking about it. Have a good morning everyone.

 

[footballmouse]

Good Tuesday morning everyone!

Wow, I have missed a lot! I haven't been on since last week. I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas. I had all the kids over Friday for our Xmas. Cooked way too much food. Everyone liked their gifts, our dog Carly couldn't wait to get her gift. She laid by the tree all afternoon because she knew where her gift was . Our other dog, Boomer, could care less.

I worked Saturday and Sunday nights from 7p-7a and I ended up picking up Friday night from 12a-7a. I figured all the kids would be gone by then and work was offering a bonus if you picked up so I figured why not. Yesterday I was exhausted so I just sat around . I watched a documentary on Amazon Prime, Lula Rich. It's about the founders of the clothing LuLaRoe and how it was actually a pyramid scheme.

QOTD - I work until 7 pm on New Year's Eve so I'll just come home and hang out at home. Probably be in bed by 10. New Year's Day my sister is having a Xmas get-together with all my siblings and my aunt so I'll be going over there in the afternoon. I have to bring a $15 gift for a game. I have a feeling this is going to be hard to decide on, I need to find something that a male or female would appreciate. I'm already stressing out over this .

I'm back to work today but working from home all week. Making tacos tonight. I got my shingles vaccine yesterday. So far, I'm not feeling sick, just a sore arm. Getting caught up on laundry, dishes and cleaning today . Hope everyone has a great day.

 

[Judique]

Good morning all!!

Nothing to see here. Day ahead is just cleaning up inside and out. Nothing new.

Hope all have a peaceful and healthy day!

 

[tazdev3225]

Good morning everyone.

Prayers for all those dealing with Covid. My priest's wife was positive the day before Christmas and now he has it as well as their 2 daughters. They were both vaccinated but Omicron seems to be a strain that bypasses the vaccine. I feel bad for them because the oldest daughter's birthday is today and they had plans to go to Disney on Ice. They very kindly offered the tickets to me, so I will be taking 4 of my grandkids to it. We will be masked appropriately.

I am still working on pictures from my trip. I took close to 4,000 so it has been a chore. I will do a mini trip report later this week, with a few pictures of course.

QOTD - New Year's was always a "religious" holiday for my family. I say that because I always prayed to the Mummer's gods for a good parking place. Now an explanation for those not from the Philadelphia area. In 1901 the first Mummers parade was held, and it grew from those humble roots. It was a HUGE thing in South Philadelphia where I was born and spent a good deal of my childhood.

My family was always involved in the parade on both sides. 2 of my uncles on my dad's side are in the Mummers Hall of Fame. Uncles on my mom's side also went out "marching". My mom sewed costumes for one club for a few years to make some extra money. The parade is not your typical parade. There are several divisions: the Jokers - these are usually wenches and satirical groups who dance and have a good time. They are known for making fun of anything political. The Fancies are as their name suggests. They have elaborate costumes and planned routines. Then there are the string bands, and there are at least a dozen clubs with everyone rooting for their favorites.

When I was a teenager I always went back to my roots on New Year's Eve and stayed at my grandmother's house. I babysat my cousin for quite a few years so that helped convince my dad to let me go down. New Year's Day was always visiting all the relatives and FOOD! It was a huge insult not to eat at each and every house you went to. There was a standard joke about a man who came to eat at one house and no one knew who he was. It was just a huge open house. The traditions carried on even as my grandparents and great aunt passed away. We just had my mom's sister left but her partner was never a fan of the traditions and tried for years to get my aunt to stop it. We all brought food and ate but we also went to what we considered the "Real" parade. After the traditional march down Broad Street, the clubs would come back to their roots in South Philly and march again. Sadly, things changed over the years. The people became more entitled and rude. A couple of years ago, before the pandemic, my aunt said No More! We came out of her house to a drunk man urinating on the side of her house in front of the grandkids. I understood why but I am saddened that my younger grandsons and LJ will never know their roots and the fun we had.

We have replaced that with a gathering at my mom's house. There is still the same open house and FOOD! It's not the same in many ways but yet it is, if that makes sense. There is still the connection of family and friends. I miss the old days and keep those who have left us in my heart, especially on New Year's Day.

Now the food is something else. In the old days my grandmother had ham and Pepper Pot Soup. You had to tell her that she made the best soup. Then we went to my great aunt's house. She had Lentil soup with the little hot dogs and German spaghetti. I did not like the soup since I had gotten violently ill after eating it once. The spaghetti was something else. The pasta was cooked in the tomato sauce, and the meat sauce was separate. It had onions that cooked all day and were still somehow almost raw. Somehow I choked it down so as not to insult her. My Gram was the best. She made the only chicken soup I would actually eat, I hate chicken soup. She also had kielbasa, I LOVE kielbasa, and Chrusciki. I miss those days. My mom still has a huge assortment of food: meatballs, ham, sausage, kielbasa, salads, desserts, and whatever else people bring. January 2nd is the day of Pepto Bismal for me. My stomach does not like me eating all of those foods and yet I cannot help myself.

Oh well I am back to my pictures. Have a nice day.

 

[lynxstch]

QOTD--
We do nothing for New Years Eve. I will be in bed long before midnite, as usual. Dinner that night will be our traditional Shrimp Scampi with a salad.

New Years Day, the tree comes down while watching the Rose Bowl. Everything else will be down and put away by Friday, and the last night for the outdoor lights to be on will be New Years Eve.

Dinner on New Years Day has to be pork and sauerkraut, a tradition of Mr L's, what was never mine until I moved here, lol

 

[easyas123]

New Year's was always a "religious" holiday for my family. I say that because I always prayed to the Mummer's gods for a good parking place. Now an explanation for those not from the Philadelphia area. In 1901 the first Mummers parade was held, and it grew from those humble roots. It was a HUGE thing in South Philadelphia where I was born and spent a good deal of my childhood.

Mummers Day parade was a big part of my childhood, too. Thanks for bringing back some old/good memories for me!

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Good morning.

Out early to pick up a book on hold at the library and pay the property taxes. Stopped in Aldis for Half and Half because I was right by it. Shelves looked very well stocked.

Only other plan today is a COVID test, just because. We were to DC and church and around the kids and plan to see DS and his wife again Friday so thought it was a good idea.

Could use some prayers here. DS just tested positive (via home kit) for covid.

Hope he is better soon.

but I enjoy Herrs products and once I passed a sign saying they gave tours.

They do give factory tours. Not sure if they are during COVID. I have only been once with one of the kids on a school field trip. DH, who has lived here his entire life, has never been.

But when you pay someone for a job, you expect it to be done totally

Exactly. Very annoying.

Nothing to see here.

I always prayed to the Mummer's gods for a good parking place.

We always enjoyed watching the Mummers Parade on TV. It used to be on all day on either 17 or 29. Now lucky to find any of it and usually online.

New Years Day, the tree comes down while watching the Rose Bowl.

I love the Rose Parade. The band are the best.

QOTD - Do you have any New Years plans or traditions?

No real traditions. We don't like to be on the roads so if we do go to dinner, we are home early. This year we are going down to DS's house early in the day to see their tree, etc. He has to work the next morning so it will be an early night. We do like to watch Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper on TV.

In the past, like 20+ years ago, we would go across the street to the neighbors house one year and they would come here the next. The kids could play and we could have a nice meal and company and drink and only have to walk home. They divorced and moved and the kids grew up.

Time to try to accomplish something.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Good Morning Everyone,

Prayers continuing for your son PollyannaMom and yours as well Snowysmom! I am also so sorry Lynn your stepson had Covid twice, how awful! Taz Dev, good to see you again! I'm truly sorry to hear also your priest and wife are battling the plague, too. This does seem to never end My cousins who were boostered also had a terrible reaction to those shots and were very effected for a couple weeks by them. I also keep hearing of those who get sick despite having had all 3 shots. I continue to pray daily for a kind end to this mess once and for all!

My night shirt says it's arriving today by 10pm but it's not "out for delivery" yet. I hope it will be later and that it does show up today. If not, it'll come tomorrow.

Srill way too cold here for me. Summer please come soon, lol I told dad we will have an extra Summer celebration when it does arrive!

QOTD - Do you have any New Years plans or traditions? Dad and I will be baking our sugar with a few chocolate chip cookies on Friday so they'll be already to enjoy on New Year's Day. I'm not a night person at all so will be in bed and I pray asleep too well before midnight. For my grandma, who LOVED the Rose Parade, I'll watch a little of it on Saturday. I think I've mentioned seeing one time years ago at a library about an hour from me, in Burbank so on the way to Pasadena, Rose Parade framed pictures in a hallway. The Disneyland Christmas Fantasy parade is more of my parade preference especially in terms of length. I am not parade watching patient at all. I hope those of you who are, truly enjoy it

Have a good day friends. I'll come back later.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

@tazdev3225, Fun to hear about the Mummers! I was hoping to hear about your trip, too!

@PollyannaMom, have been for your DS! Hope he feels better soon! Prayers for all dealing with illness and sadness.

@easyas123, Don’t overdo it! Even though you feel ok, your body needs to rest after having Covid!

My PCR was negative. DD is still not doing a lot better. Got some test results back overnight that explain some things. Now she’s coordinating with her PCP and Occupational Health for when she can go back to work, which is daunting. Nobody returns calls, everyone is so busy. She is stressed out dealing with this when all she wants to do is sleep! (And it’s stressing me out a bit, too!)

DS and I are in disagreement about his getting the vaccine booster. He doesn’t really want to get it. We usually get along very well but this caused a little spat yesterday. I hate how this disease comes between families. It’s his decision to make.

Was thinking that for New Year’s we would just do some appetizer type things. I have a running list in my head, but am going to think more about it over the next few days and talk to DH about it. DD was supposed to go away for NY’s but that has been cancelled (due to Covid/Omicron numbers in our area) in addition to her not feeling well. I’m hoping to have a very quiet night.

Haven’t heard anything back about the dog I applied for. And WalMart.com never fulfilled my XMas card order, even though I paid for it. I wrote out labels for cards and all. Not sure whether I should send them still or what, if I can even get them. Aggravating.

QOTD: DH and I had NY traditions before we had kids. We used to go away to the same place every year, and loved it. When kids were growing up we had parties at friends houses on a rotating basis, and then a NY Day splash in the ocean. Of course, I had to work many of those NY’s so sometimes it was DH that took the kids. But they always had fun. I don’t think we’ll get Chinese food this year as we had it for XMas night this year (since we celebrated the next day). I saw these asparagus wraps on Instagram that have been on my brain so I was thinking about something like that.

Enjoy the day, everyone!

 

[AuntieMe3]

Good morning all...its cold here this morning. Weather app says 43° but feels like 36°.... feels colder than that to me. Only supposed to get to 45 today and that's the high for the week. Brrrr. It was super windy again last night and felt like it was just blowing through the house. Felt so nice to climb into bed last night under our warm comforter. I don't know what I did to my back but oh man it hurts. DH said it might be a pinched nerve or something but my lower back, left side is really giving me trouble. If I'm standing, not even very long, I'll get a sharp pain in my back and then my left leg feels like it's falling asleep or kinda numb and I even feel a little weak on that side until I sit down and then it feels better. I've been trying to stretch it out in bed but then I feel like I have a charlie horse and my leg feels like I can't fully extend it. Started Christmas Eve but each morning it feels fine and then starts hurting as the day goes on but this morning it's already bugging me and I haven't even tried to do anything except feed the dogs. I need to call about an appt for that today.

QOTD - Do you have any New Years plans or traditions?

For the last few years we've had our really good friends and their kids come over. We have lots of snacks and drinks, and Karaoke. It's a lot of fun.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Good morning all...its cold here this morning. Weather app says 43° but feels like 36°.... feels colder than that to me. Only supposed to get to 45 today and that's the high for the week. Brrrr. It was super windy again last night and felt like it was just blowing through the house. Felt so nice to climb into bed last night under our warm comforter. I don't know what I did to my back but oh man it hurts. DH said it might be a pinched nerve or something but my lower back, left side is really giving me trouble. If I'm standing, not even very long, I'll get a sharp pain in my back and then my left leg feels like it's falling asleep or kinda numb and I even feel a little weak on that side until I sit down and then it feels better. I've been trying to stretch it out in bed but then I feel like I have a charlie horse and my leg feels like I can't fully extend it. Started Christmas Eve but each morning it feels fine and then starts hurting as the day goes on but this morning it's already bugging me and I haven't even tried to do anything except feed the dogs. I need to call about an appt for that today.

That sounds a lot like a herniated disc. DH has been dealing with those for years, same symptoms. Usually they do an MRI to diagnose exactly where it is, then they offer corticosteroid injections to help lower the inflammation that causes pinching of nerve. (DH also had minimally invasive surgery to remove part of the herniation.) When discs rupture, the fluid that is between the vertebrae hardens and presses (pinches) on the nerves going down to the legs. It’s different for everyone, but heavy lifting or tripping on something can cause this to happen, especially as we age, unfortunately. I hope you can find some relief. Many people find some relief with ibuprofen while waiting for results to come in, but it has to be taken round the clock in correct dosages in order to help. (Like 600-800mg every six to eight hours.) Ibuprofen helps with inflammation. You can also take tylenol but that doesn’t help with inflammation. Good luck with it. Ugh.

 

[dazedx3]

Loved reading about everyone's holiday. Ours was very nice, all of our kids and grandkids were here. Our Ds was supposed to fly out on the 26th but his flight was cancelled. That turned into quite the hassle and turns out he was unable to get another until the 31st. I feel bad that he is missing so much work unpaid.

The grandkids were so much fun this year, especially the 3year old. We don't see them real often, but she kept running to me and giving me great big hugs. Made me so happy, I teared up a few times. One of the days she crawled up on my lap and took a nap, sooo sweet!!

Every year, I think I am cutting down on the work and food, but once again it was way too much. I made notes and will try to do better next year.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Pea and much continued prayer for your DD!. How very frustrating to still feel up in the air about what is going on It is so sad how Covid has caused rifts between family and friends. I will just say the vaccine and booster, IMO, is a personal choice. I am, of course, so sorry it caused trouble between you and your DH. You certainly need more CALM right now not extra stress! prayers to work out, too, my friend. You please take care of yourself and get some rest! Thank you as always for your kind and thorough health advice to us all.

AuntieMe3, big prayers for you as well for answers and to feel better fast! I've been freezing all day practically here. WAY too cold for Socal. Please stay warm and well.

Aww, God Bless your DD, Dazed! Kiddos seem to know just when we need extra love and cheer, don't they?

Night shirt came and should be just fine

Hugs to all for a bright and warm afternoon!

 

[easyas123]

Finally - I accomplished something.
I ordered 3 pairs of flip flops. I love flip flops, BUT I need a flip flop that can bear up to being walked in all day. A substantial supporting one. I had a type that Columbia put out, went thru a pair every year. But they do not make that design or one like it anymore, so I'm on the hunt
I ordered 4 different pairs. I'm hoping one of them works for me, if not I'll go back and do some more shopping I guess.

I also need a new jacket/lighter weight coat suitable for 45-60 weather. I've got my eye on one at Talbots and Lands End (who - by the way-is having a unreal sale at moment) if I can't find one while shopping in person tomorrow.

Dinner is going to be dealers choice- I'm tired of cooking and tired of leftovers. Tomorrow will be a needed food refresh and fridge clean out!

 

[Snowysmom]

@Pea-n-Me I hope your DD can destress a bit and get the rest she needs to feel better. It is frustrating when people don't call back. They need to think about how they would feel if it were them waiting for a call back.

I saw my therapist tonight. She thinks I am moving in the right direction but some days I would disagree. On Sunday after I brought the gifts to my younger Ds's house I had a meltdown in the car on the way to my house and then to older Ds's house. I suddenly got really angry at Chris for not calling the doctor back when I asked him to in the Spring and summer. He was noticeably slowing down on our walks and needing to stop to take a break. On our vacation in NH the kids and I noticed he was not keeping up with everyone. He said it was just age and it was hot out. I suggested a few times that he see the doctor abut he said no, he did not want to go down the road of tests etc. I believe he was developing heart problems. I was yelling at him in the car and my language was not good. I just kind of snapped because I thought of having to bring the gifts over to DS's house myself after having a Christmas day partly by myself. I yelled at him for at least an hour and actually wore myself and my voice out. I told him that if he saw the doctor and got treated he may have been with us for the holidays. I told him he made a really bad decision. The therapist asked how I felt after doing that and I thought it actually relieved some stress and made me realize that he was responsible for his own decisions. I am now sad to think that if he had seen the cardiologist that maybe he could have been with us. Woulda, shoulda, coulda. It is part of the process. My emotions are all over the place. I mostly just miss him incredibly. I can't wait to get the pillows and quilt made from his shirts. I will be hugging the pillows tight. I did finally cancel the Disney trip for May as I know I can't go myself. That was difficult. I booked a hotel in North Conway for 3 nights as I already have the time off in May so I may as well go somewhere and chill a bit. I am going to ask my really good friend to go with me. I hope she will. If not, I will go myself.

For a treat I just bought myself a winter coat on Land's End. It was a really good sale price and a warm coat. Since I walk alot it will help keep me warm.

Have a good night.

 

[easyas123]

@Pea-n-Me I hope your DD can destress a bit and get the rest she needs to feel better. It is frustrating when people don't call back. They need to think about how they would feel if it were them waiting for a call back.

I saw my therapist tonight. She thinks I am moving in the right direction but some days I would disagree. On Sunday after I brought the gifts to my younger Ds's house I had a meltdown in the car on the way to my house and then to older Ds's house. I suddenly got really angry at Chris for not calling the doctor back when I asked him to in the Spring and summer. He was noticeably slowing down on our walks and needing to stop to take a break. On our vacation in NH the kids and I noticed he was not keeping up with everyone. He said it was just age and it was hot out. I suggested a few times that he see the doctor abut he said no, he did not want to go down the road of tests etc. I believe he was developing heart problems. I was yelling at him in the car and my language was not good. I just kind of snapped because I thought of having to bring the gifts over to DS's house myself after having a Christmas day partly by myself. I yelled at him for at least an hour and actually wore myself and my voice out. I told him that if he saw the doctor and got treated he may have been with us for the holidays. I told him he made a really bad decision. The therapist asked how I felt after doing that and I thought it actually relieved some stress and made me realize that he was responsible for his own decisions. I am now sad to think that if he had seen the cardiologist that maybe he could have been with us. Woulda, shoulda, coulda. It is part of the process. My emotions are all over the place. I mostly just miss him incredibly. I can't wait to get the pillows and quilt made from his shirts. I will be hugging the pillows tight. I did finally cancel the Disney trip for May as I know I can't go myself. That was difficult. I booked a hotel in North Conway for 3 nights as I already have the time off in May so I may as well go somewhere and chill a bit. I am going to ask my really good friend to go with me. I hope she will. If not, I will go myself.

For a treat I just bought myself a winter coat on Land's End. It was a really good sale price and a warm coat. Since I walk alot it will help keep me warm.

Have a good night.

Wow. I can feel so much thru your words. It's sounds rough, brutal and almost to much to imagine, but I think the yelling match you had with your husband was probably very therapeutic for you. And good for you. For YOU. You may not realize it, but you are providing so many of us with a bit of knowledge we will internalize and forget we even have until needed, even if we don't realize it, so thank you.

And yes, Lands Ends does have some good deals right now

 

[Dead2009]

Found out that over 40 people have tested positive for COVID at work today and knowing that the company isn't cleaning the store like they say they are...it makes me wonder whether or not it's good to even think of going to work right now.

 

[dazedx3]

Snowysmom.... I'm so glad you are able to be so honest and real. I would be angry too. I am angry also, my DH (Kris, also) would not be going through his cancer if he had quit smoking when I begged him to, so many times. But, we all have our vices and struggles. I once told him I would never forgive him if he got sick as a result of his smoking, I since told him that it's not true. But part of me will be angry, when he leaves me alone. I wish none of us would ever have to go through this unbearable pain. I'm so sorry, and I can only imagine what you are dealing with. I do think your therapist is right,, you are moving through the grief. It's going to take time, and it will always be with you, but at varying degrees.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

@Pea-n-Me I hope your DD can destress a bit and get the rest she needs to feel better. It is frustrating when people don't call back. They need to think about how they would feel if it were them waiting for a call back.

I saw my therapist tonight. She thinks I am moving in the right direction but some days I would disagree. On Sunday after I brought the gifts to my younger Ds's house I had a meltdown in the car on the way to my house and then to older Ds's house. I suddenly got really angry at Chris for not calling the doctor back when I asked him to in the Spring and summer. He was noticeably slowing down on our walks and needing to stop to take a break. On our vacation in NH the kids and I noticed he was not keeping up with everyone. He said it was just age and it was hot out. I suggested a few times that he see the doctor abut he said no, he did not want to go down the road of tests etc. I believe he was developing heart problems. I was yelling at him in the car and my language was not good. I just kind of snapped because I thought of having to bring the gifts over to DS's house myself after having a Christmas day partly by myself. I yelled at him for at least an hour and actually wore myself and my voice out. I told him that if he saw the doctor and got treated he may have been with us for the holidays. I told him he made a really bad decision. The therapist asked how I felt after doing that and I thought it actually relieved some stress and made me realize that he was responsible for his own decisions. I am now sad to think that if he had seen the cardiologist that maybe he could have been with us. Woulda, shoulda, coulda. It is part of the process. My emotions are all over the place. I mostly just miss him incredibly. I can't wait to get the pillows and quilt made from his shirts. I will be hugging the pillows tight. I did finally cancel the Disney trip for May as I know I can't go myself. That was difficult. I booked a hotel in North Conway for 3 nights as I already have the time off in May so I may as well go somewhere and chill a bit. I am going to ask my really good friend to go with me. I hope she will. If not, I will go myself.

For a treat I just bought myself a winter coat on Land's End. It was a really good sale price and a warm coat. Since I walk alot it will help keep me warm.

Have a good night.

First a Christmas must’ve been such a difficult time for you, especially with the Covid situation with your son, and you plans changing, etc. Anger is one of the stages or phases of grief, so completely normal to feel that way and probably good to get it out. It also means moving from the denial stage (though one can go back and forth between stages on the continuum). I’m glad you have your therapist to talk this out with, getting her was surely a good move. I still can’t help but think that losing your Mom when you did also makes this loss more stinging. The feelings toward a mother and a spouse are so visceral. A little more reading https://dying.lovetoknow.com/coping-grief/dealing-anger-stage-grief

I also agree with @easyas that your posting this may help others. I spoke to my Dad the night before he died, just hours before, really. He told me he had a ”really bad cold”. I suggested going to the doctor’s, and he told me he would in the morning if he didn’t feel better. Needless to say, morning never came for him. He died of a heart attack during the night. I was in nursing school at the time and didn’t have the knowledge and experience that I have now, but as a diabetic, he probably didn’t feel classic “chest pain”, and shortness of breath and congestion were likely signs that should’ve been heeded. But he didn’t know, and Mom didn’t know, and none of us realized. As you said, coulda woulda shoulda. What happened, happened. But I have used that information to help patients over the years by telling them not to wait until morning if something feels off. I also think talking about it here is good as it does help other people who are reading. Sure, it may be a false alarm if you’re seen and it’s nothing. But on the other hand, it could save a life. And that could help give meaning to what happened to our loved ones.

My SIL has had some of these same thoughts, as well, looking back. There were some subtle signs that perhaps should’ve been heeded, but BIL was a stubborn man and he did what he wanted to do. This is the case for so many! When I am counseling patients and families we address this, lol. Ultimately, though, we mostly agree that we can’t force people to do things they don’t want to do, and that we’re not always in the driver’s seat on the bus of life. It doesn’t lessen the pain, but at some point, hopefully it helps us come to acceptance. Not just acceptance of the passing, but of the circumstances around it that we couldn’t change.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

we all have our vices and struggles

Truer words were never spoken.

And realistically, we all forgive eachother for these things all the time, don’t we? We have to, or we wouldn’t be able to live with eachother and continue to love eachother, etc.

The reality is that, none of us are perfect.