Quarantine and chill and kindness chatty clubhouse: Jump in and join the conversation! All is welcome!

[Canadisney Fly]

When I reread the post early this morning, I saw "dog," too, Lynn.

Don't get me started on the whole refusal-to-accept-that-I-need-reading-glasses rant!

I did take a walk today and it was warm and sunny. I saw a butterfly and heard the birds in the trees. I will miss that when I go to the condo but I hope the wooded areas where the walking path winds around the complex will have lots of birds and little critters running around.

Keep finding those moments - they're fleeting at first, but they grow longer with time.

Please fellow Quackers..I need prayers for my sister in law and niece.

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you and your family. I have had so much loss over the last decade, but I found that the ones that are a shock were the hardest to process. My dear BIL wasn't feeling well, came home from seeing the doctor, and then died in front of my MIL - 48 years old. Those phone calls that begin with "are you sitting down?" Gah - I'm crying just thinking about what you're all going through.

How did you even go about meeting new people, the thought of online dating also makes me want to hide under the covers.

It's OK to hide under the covers until you feel whole. You're the better person, and once the pain/shock/betrayal begin to diminish, beautiful things will grow. I had these scorched earth images of my life when my marriage ended, but slowly a new landscape has begun to emerge. Different, but in some ways, more beautiful. Now that I've dealt with all the "business" (separation agreement, financial fallout, keeping my career on track, getting my son through Grade 10 calculus ) I'm starting to think about the possibilities again, but through a different lens. Time heals - have faith in that.

Canadadisney - I'm sure the story of your coworker wasn't supposed to be funny, but it made me laugh. Just imaging the entire ordeal had me laughing.

She's like a sister -we've known each other since we were two. Every time she tells the story, I laugh so hard that my face hurts!

And yes, you are right, they should follow his wishes for cremation.

Agreed. Thank goodness he expressed his wishes - the hardest is when you have never had those conversations, and then have to make the decisions. When my mum passed and I had to make all of the plans, I realized that I wouldn't want my son to have to agonize over "what to do with the ashes" - so I bought the niche next to my mum, wrote down some answers to the tough questions that I had to address with my mum's passing, and hopefully have taken some of that stress away for when he's in the same situation.

For me it's being crowds and traveling.

...and I booked a trip to WDW for August! Yep - I can't even ride down the street without thinking everyone is going to kill me with their car door - this trip's a bit of a wild card! I just booked all the ADRs and took the plunge to buy some Cirque tickets - no turning back now so I'm starting to be excited. My team at work just had a few positive COVID cases - we still wear masks at work, so thankfully I didn't get it, but with so many getting sick and it passing quickly, it no longer feels like there's a wolf at the door waiting to take me down.

Have a wonderful week - I hope you all find those moments that make life beautiful.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

A ton of love and extra prayer to each of you! I have truly been so touched by all that has already been said this morningBeautiful Things a choir anthem I sung several years ago that I pray brings about some added peace to each of you this morning.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you. (Isaiah 43:2 NKJV)

Pm-ing several of you

 

[KingLlama]

Randoms...

- The "Buffalo Jack" Kroger-brand sliced cheese is an absolute revelation. My newest go-to.

- Saw a live performance of "Hamilton" last night. It deserves all the acclaim it's gotten, but after the first 30 minutes or so it really loses steam with me. The second act was a bit of a chore. But great performances all the way around.

- I can't remember a stretch of heat like this in June. July/August? Definitely. But June is usually firmly planted in the 80's. And next week is even hotter, apparently. I'M SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU, AL GORE.

- What I'm listening to these days...a whole lotta classic Disney park loops, Tyler Childers, and some jazz piano (Bill Evans, Thelonious Monk, etc.)

- I just can't bring myself to go to bed early. Even on nights when I know I should, I can invariably find a ballgame on(especially those being played on the west coast) that keeps me up until 1 or later.

- I'm too old to understand bitcoin, and I'm perfectly okay with that.

Did I do this right?

 

[lynxstch]

Funeral arrangements made. Against what she really wanted, she agreed to have him cremated as he wished. Other SIL was there with us and also agreed that she should. Funeral Home is taking care of everything, BIL's supervisor already started the paper work where he worked for his pay, insurance, 401 K etc. Sister in law now has to get herself to SS and do whatever she needs to do to get spousal support I think it's called..and she has to get with Medicare and add Parts B and D, as she will have no health insurance come the end of the month,,or maybe July, they weren't sure

Its 90 degrees outside. I just finished mowing the lawn. Liking the riding mower much better now that I figured out the override thing so I didn't have to shut the blades up everytime I went in reverse. Their operators manual says turn the key to the right, past the start position and press the yellow triangle. That's not right,,lol..you have to turn it to the left and then press it. Mowing went much faster.

Dinner is going to be burgers and devilled egg potato salad and maybe fries. Walmart was busy, Aldi's was even busier. Lots of peanut butter on the shelves this week,,but I happened to pass by the sanitary products for women section on my way to the garden shop, and there now seems to be a shortage of tampons? Yikes! Glad I am way way way past that stage!

Stay cool everyone

 

[lynxstch]

Randoms...

- The "Buffalo Jack" Kroger-brand sliced cheese is an absolute revelation. My newest go-to.

- Saw a live performance of "Hamilton" last night. It deserves all the acclaim it's gotten, but after the first 30 minutes or so it really loses steam with me. The second act was a bit of a chore. But great performances all the way around.

- I can't remember a stretch of heat like this in June. July/August? Definitely. But June is usually firmly planted in the 80's. And next week is even hotter, apparently. I'M SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU, AL GORE.

- What I'm listening to these days...a whole lotta classic Disney park loops, Tyler Childers, and some jazz piano (Bill Evans, Thelonious Monk, etc.)

- I just can't bring myself to go to bed early. Even on nights when I know I should, I can invariably find a ballgame on(especially those being played on the west coast) that keeps me up until 1 or later.

- I'm too old to understand bitcoin, and I'm perfectly okay with that.

Did I do this right?

Yes you did it perfectly! I would love to see Hamilton live. I would love to see any show live these days. My bucket list is Phantom, Wicked, Lion King, and Hamilton..maybe some day

Glad to have you posting with us on this thread. If noone told you,,we call ourselves the Quacker Family, and all are welcome!

 

[flyingdumbo127]

All are welcome indeed, King Llama, good to have you.

dear Lynn.

Continued prayer please for my cousin Steve in TX. He's so frustrated right now, understandably. The "long term Covid" diagnosis seems to be an "out" of sorts by the doctors. He's still going through a whole lot trying to find the true underlying cause to his health issues. He and his wife are of good faith which makes all the difference. As you can imagine they've both been through the wringers.

Dad appointment prayers tomorrow would be much appreciated, too.

Thank you, dear friends. I hope all of you are having a good afternoon.

 

[Judique]

Yes you did it perfectly! I would love to see Hamilton live. I would love to see any show live these days. My bucket list is Phantom, Wicked, Lion King, and Hamilton..maybe some day

Glad to have you posting with us on this thread. If noone told you,,we call ourselves the Quacker Family, and all are welcome!

I've seen 3 of your 4. Haven't seen Wicked.

 

[Kirby]

Randoms...

- I can't remember a stretch of heat like this in June. July/August? Definitely. But June is usually firmly planted in the 80's. And next week is even hotter, apparently. I'M SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU, AL GORE.
Do you remember back in 2011 when Japan got hit by a major earthquake? Shifted Japan about eight feet. I've always thought that something that major could cause a change in climate. Images released by NASA show Japan's northeast coast before, left, and after flooding from the quake-induced tsunami. (CNN) -- The powerful earthquake that unleashed a devastating tsunami Friday appears to have moved the main island of Japan by 8 feet (2.4 meters) and shifted the Earth on its axis.Apr 20, 2011 I've also heard that Tornado Alley has shifted. Tornado Alley, which typically refers to the area in the Plains and Midwest where tornadoes are most frequent, may be shifting geographically. Tornado Alley may be shifting from the Great Plains of the Midwest to the Mississippi River valley, according to an article from AccuWeather.May 2, 2022 I don't know whether all of this is due to Climate Change or earthquakes but something is definitely going on.

Did I do this right? You did great!

Yes you did it perfectly! I would love to see Hamilton live. I would love to see any show live these days. My bucket list is Phantom, Wicked, Lion King, and Hamilton..maybe some day
I got to see Wicked on Broadway in 2008. It was wonderful!

Prayers continued for your cousin and wife.

DH had to go to Lowes for some supplies for work tomorrow. He called me and said that they must have gotten a shipment of plants in because there were so many. He has been bitten by the gardening bug. Wants to get more rose bushes and fill up every spot. He is having so much fun. I like roses but not everywhere. I would like some variety. So I told him that the spot he wanted to plant can't be seen from the street and since we planted new bushes close by, I wanted to wait until next year and see how everything goes. He was a little disappointed but understood.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I saw Phantom on Broadway. I prefer the movie.

 

[Snowysmom]

Lynn I am glad your SIL decided to follow her DH's wishes. It is important to follow a loved one's wishes. She will not regret doing that. The administrative tasks are daunting but you need to take it one day at a time. I would write out a schedule of what I would do each day. One day I called Social Security and made the appointment for spousal benefits. For that you do need to make an appt and for me, it took several calls to get one. I had a phone appt but maybe now offices are open. His company should be helpful with getting the 401K settled and other issues. I would just say to not overschedule and do too much in a day. It can be so stressful. My heart goes out to her.

Flyingdumbo127 I will keep your Dad and your cousin Steve in my prayers.

Bobbiwoz Hope your appt goes well.

Frog First of all you are good enough and more. What your husband did does not reflect upon you but upon him. Everyone sees that. It looks like you are moving forward slowly and more importantly, being there for your kids and making them your priority. My therapist recommended a book called It's OK that you're not OK. Great book about grief and how to work with it. I am also reading some other books that I researched on Amazon. Some are hits and some are misses which I just donate. I do journal. I have one notebook full and working on another. Chris and I would talk about what to do if and when one of us passed. Chris always told me that he would want me to find someone else so I would not be alone. He put it as someone to take care of me but he meant emotionally not to do things for me or financially. I politely declined. This is not remotely on my radar screen. I miss him so much I doubt it will even be an issue. I have a good friend who lost her husband several years ago. She really wants companionship. She has been on match.com. She tells me about her dates and guys she met. It has been a mixed bag. One guy is slowly divorcing his wife, another guy lied about his age, and another guy got angry when she broke off their dating. I am not sure it is worth all that. I prefer a drama free life. She is 70 so these are guys who are in the 70s. I am not sure how it is for other age groups. I am sure it is different for younger people and probably better. I do know some younger people (40s and 50s) who met their current spouses online and are very happy. So, it can work out.

Have a nice evening.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Thank you all so much for your prayers.

I've never seen any Broadway musical. I used to work at Musical Theater camp at church. I enjoyed seeing the kids perform

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Another day has slipped by.

DH and I went on a 3 1/4 miles hike this morning. It was in Fair Hill so included hills. When went because this is the time of year that bobolinks nest. We did see one. And we saw our goose family.

Tomorrow is doing the laundry and seriously getting going on packing.

@Pea-n-Me , as usual, your post made lots of good points.

Got to get some Confined Space training documents together,

My friend , John Rekus, wrote THE book on confined spaces.

For me it's being crowds and traveling.

I am a little concerned about our Disney trip but not so much the vacations at the beach in rental houses.

About crowds, it is really affecting the pandemic babies. Kids born in 2020 get easily overwhelmed by crowds, I have seen it happen to Carter.

Lil Joe will be gone for 42 days and Lou Lou for her first two week visit.

That must be so hard on their mom and you.

- I'm too old to understand bitcoin, and I'm perfectly okay with that.

@KingLlama . I too have no interest in Bitcoin or NFTs.

Speaking of NFT, one year in college, they used NFT as part of the grading system. Instead of getting a failing grade, you would be given NFT, "Not for Transcript", which all the students called, "Nice F%%%ing Try." That is all I think of when I hear NFT,

My bucket list is Phantom, Wicked, Lion King, and Hamilton..

I have seen Wicked on Broadway and Lion King in Baltimore. After watching the movie, I have no interest in Phantom.

Lynn I am glad your SIL decided to follow her DH's wishes. It is important to follow a loved one's wishes. She will not regret doing that.

Agreed. Before my mother passed, she told me to bury her with her wedding ring on. When she died, the funeral director gave me a bag with her rings and I didn't think much of it. 8 years later, I don't know what to do with the ring and regret that I didn't follow her wishes.

My therapist recommended a book called It's OK that you're not OK.

I read It's OK Not to Be OK, but I think it is a different book. It was for a study at church.

@lynxstch , so sorry about your BIL. What a shock to the family.

Last night I was having a nightmare. Sometimes I talk in my sleep. I was yelling "Help Me! Help Me!", until DH shook me awake. He said he had to shake me several times and I kept yelling. Scary for him.

I tried to find a different picture but couldn't. @flyingdumbo127 your picture reminded me. This was my dog Raleigh.




Nothing on TV so guess I'll read. Good night.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Your picture is adorable, Carol! It's a ton better than the one I found because you took it and it's of a faithful Quacker dog. Raleigh was so cute. Smart, too!

Dad's bookmark came and it is adorable I would absolutely recommend This on Amazon. It's costly and took a while (I ordered it on May 30th and it came through the mail today) so order it well in advance.

Waiting now for Terri to come. Late for us but she insisted she was in the neighborhood at a meeting anyway. At least I do have a summer napkin surprise for her and a 2023 calendar that she said she could use.

Sweet dreams to all!

 

[dazedx3]

Storms tonight, our electricity was out and just came back on after 2 hours. So thankful it did because I can’t sleep without my c-pap machine. Sweet dreams to all of you!

 

[theluckyrabbit]

Thank you! Not sure if I will get to go, didn't want to go into all that DD is going through right now on that thread....

If you have any questions that you don't feel comfortable asking on the DL board, please ask here. I (and the other DL Quackers) can try to find answers for you.

 

[Kirby]

The GK's are gone, it is so quiet around the house. I could have sworn I heard Lou Lou walking down the hallway a little while ago.

If you have any questions that you don't feel comfortable asking on the DL board, please ask here. I (and the other DL Quackers) can try to find answers for you.

Thank you! I do have a question. The hotel I would be staying at is not far from DL but not walkable. DS and I would not rent a car so getting there would be by Uber/Lyft. How hard would it be to get the same when I leave DL to head back to the hotel?

 

[theluckyrabbit]

...

Thank you! I do have a question. The hotel I would be staying at is not far from DL but not walkable. DS and I would not rent a car so getting there would be by Uber/Lyft. How hard would it be to get the same when I leave DL to head back to the hotel?

It should be very easy. Which direction will you be coming from (Harbor side or DLH side)?

There is a small pick up/drop off lot on Harbor, right by the entrance to the DLR property. If you get dropped off there, it is about a 3-5 minute walk to bag check, then right on to the park gates! For the ride home, go back to the same lot and wait for your ride.

From the DLH side, there is a small pick up/drop off lot on the north side of the hotel, between the hotel and the Lilo parking lot. If you use this lot, you will go through bag check by the DLH and walk through Downtown Disney (DTD) to get to the park gates. (I will double check for you whether this lot is still in use -- most people use the Harbor side lot.)

Some photos from Google:

Harbor side pick up/drop off lot:

 

[frog3101]

Hello to all Quackers. Thank you all for your responses and words of encouragement.

@Kirby Please tell your daughter I sure am thinking about her, Lou Lou and Little Joe. You also, but man, 42 days? That is nuts. I'm not sure I could handle that. Her lawyer sounds awful, I'm sorry she doesn't have someone who is a better representative for her and the kids. I'm sure switching at this point is not an option for many reasons, but man, she deserves better.

@Judique Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. It is so hard as the deeper we get into this the more I think he's been in contact with her for the past 6 years. I think I posted before, but he had an emotional affair with her about 6 years ago and she's always been the one he looks up when we are having a fight or in a "dark spot" in our marriage. She worked for a place my husband and his parents frequently patronized and I have even met her. My in-laws adore her and they've also been friends all these years. My in-laws and I have never gotten along well as I wasn't the right "type" for my husband and they never wanted us to marry. They are delighted he is seeing her. My mother-in-law even pulled my oldest aside and tried to justify it to her. I admire you for being able to say you are not interested in a relationship. It's too soon for me to even say if I'd ever even want to date again. I def. don't think marriage would be in my future again. But, deep down, I know I'm a person who wants a "person". I thought my soon (let us hope it is soon) husband (I hate the term ex for some reason, even before this mess started) was my person, but I guess not. Or maybe he is and I'm just not his. Ugh.

@dazedx3 Thank you also. I'd bet the farm that he has no regrets. He will have no real repercussions from whatever happens. He's already so much happier as his parents and him and the girlfriend are all best friends and his mom has picked right back up in taking care of him in areas that he needs help. They are very co-dependent...a red flag I chose to ignore because I was so in love. His life really isn't going change much, his parents have very deep pockets and he will be fine no matter what I get in the settlement. Nobody has the nerve to tell him to his face or his parents that he is being a total a@@ and he has stated he doesn't care if he is the a@@ of "our town name here" because he deserves to be happy. The only thing that may be different is he will be getting to see or spend more time with the kids. He is a great financial provider but is also a workaholic. And to the maximum extreme. His work has always come first, followed by his parents (they work together) and then me/the kids. He is not an involved parent on any level. I have taken all the kids to all their dr., dentist, eye, therapy and other appointments with the exception of one time and that was just this past fall. I have attended as many school and activities as time allows and drive them or find someone to drive them if I am busy running another child to another activity. He has always been too busy. He has never attended one parent/teacher conference and has only attended Christmas plays and 1 softball game, and that was only 1 game and only about half of it. I do think he has also attended one school concert when our oldest was in kindergarten. He has only once taken an overnight trip/vacation with us and that was when our oldest wasn't even 2. He's never had all 4 kids alone for longer than a few hours. He prob changed under 25 diapers total with 4 kids. I don't think he has ever gotten up to clean up puke or change soiled sheets. He gets annoyed when the kids are sick because then he worries he may get sick. Oy, sorry for the major vent there.

@Bianca and Bernard Hope your are healing up okay and are not too sore. It amazes me how you can get so stiff after a fall. Thank you for sharing your story also. I'm glad that you were able to find happiness and get out of an abusive situation. My husband is verbally and emotionally abusive, but thankfully has never physically touched me or the kids. NOT that the other is ok, but I feel so for anyone who has to or has dealt with that kind of abuse.

@lynxstch Yeah for finding Mr. L and doing something for yourself. I'm so happy it has worked out for you. I'm also sending more hugs and good thoughts for your sister-in-law and your family. Trying to decide on what is "right" has to be very draining for her. I'm sure she is thankful she has you and Mr. L. to lean on.

@footballmouse Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you had to deal with that and seems sometimes still are dealing with it. I hope when the time is right and you are really ready you find just the right match for you.

@Pea-n-Me Thank you for your kind words. I'm so glad you have never had to go through this and you have been blessed with a happy marriage. I would not wish this on anyone, not even him or the girlfriend.

On a slightly funny note, I'm really annoyed that I have yet to see anything come from this "divorce diet" I hear about. I had been assured I'd lose weight like nobody's business...um I think I'm down maybe 3 pounds. Boo

My oldest continues to struggle. She along with her brothers went to work with their 4-H cows today. The drama (that is too long to explain here) continued and she was upset when she came home. She tried to talk to her dad about how she feels about some things and he basically told her that it will all be ok and she just needs to get along with her brother and everyone has to get along. (pot have you met kettle?) She told me tonight that the boys are the favorites to her dad and that he probably doesn't even care about her sister because she isn't into anything he likes and that means he doesn't care about her. She said she is only one step up from her sister and that's just because she has animals for 4-H and helps with other chores. How heartbreaking. She told me she doesn't want to ever sleep at her dads and that she'd rather be in foster care than have to be with either of us while all this "crap" is going on. She asked to write a letter to my attorney and said even though she knows her opinion doesn't count she still wants someone to know how she feels. My husband also told her tonight that when she spends the night he will help her get her room **** and span. He is really concerned about how clean her room is. I'd say it looks like most 13 year old rooms. lots of clutter but not really dirty.

My oldest son decided to stay there tonight and it about crushed me. I know it's going to happen but it felt like he was choosing his dad over me. I know they should be able to see him, and since we have no legal custody agreement in place I can't really say no. I just want to scream that how can you think your dad is so great when he is a lier and cheater and treats you like a hired hand instead of his kid. UGH.
Clearly I have some thoughts and emotions that need to come out tonight. Thank you all for "listening".

I started the Children in the Middle online class tonight. There are videos and little quizzes and then a "final" test. Have to get an 80% to pass and get 3 chances. Not sure what happens if I don't pass in the 3 chances, I didn't read that far. All this hoop jumping and back and forth is for the birds. My attorney is wonderful and has a reputation for being a "bulldog" but she def comes at a price and I hope my well doesn't go dry before this gets settled.

Tomorrow the older two have to go help in the AM. I was hoping to make a Target run with my daughter but I'm not sure how that will go over with him. She wants to get her chores done and get home. I'm guessing his mom will have lunch for them and she isn't interested in seeing her at the moment either.

Kids are in the middle no matter how hard one tries to keep them out.

Ok, I should prob try to catch a few hours of sleep so I can face tomorrow. I need to call the bank and change my address, again (a long story for another post) and make a list as to what I need to get when I finally make it to Target.

 

[frog3101]

Apparently a lot of posting happened while I wasn't looking...adding a few more thoughts.

@Snowysmom I'm glad to hear that you are reading books and journaling. I had to smile a little when you were telling me about your friend. I really don't thin 70 is old, but I had to think about how men just don't ever seem to grow up, I mean lying about your age and all at that point in life...what is the point?

@Canadisney Fly Thank your sharing your story. It helps every time I read about someone who has made it to the other side and is doing well,

@KingLlama WELCOME to our little community. Hope you stick around.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Good morning.

thunderstorms came through at about 4:30 am and lasted til 6. There was no going back to sleep.

@frog3101 feel free to unload here. I am sorry that you are being put through this. I have nothing to offer as I’ve been married for almost 38 years so luckily have not gone through this.

Today and tomorrow are for getting ready for vacation.