Puppy scratching daughters face...

[Deb in IA]

Your daughter must stop manhandling the puppy immediately. If this doesn't happen, the problem will only get worse and worse, and ultimately, something really bad will happen.

You should also go to puppy training classes, if you haven't already done so. And take little 5 year old too. She needs to learn how to behave appropriately with the dog.

 

[PinkRhombus]

I agree, that if a child has been taught to treat living beings with respect, then they should know better by 5. However, we can't expect anyone to necessarily instintually know this by 5, if they have not spent any time around dogs or cats and been told as a toddler to "play gently". Some kids have the innate knowledge, others do not. As a teacher, I have worked with many young children who would not hurt a bug, and many other young children who can not yet make the leap of "animals have feelings, too" without being taught by adults. It's a gross generalization to say that every 5 year old should know to play nicely, if we don't know the child's background with animals.

ITA!!!!


OP. Please read this:

http://www.hsus.org/hsus_field/firs..._animal_cruelty_what_parents_should_know.html

Get rid of the dog NOW. And get your daughter into counseling. Someone has exposed this girl to this type of behavior in some sense. They don't pick that up on their own. People that abuse animals do the same to people.

 

[mommy22pumpkins]

thanks for all of your concern and responses. I take all of it with a grain of salt because I am an animal lover myself and this is actually our third dog. We have a 13 year old boxer/lab mix and a 12 year old beagle who dominate the house and are very spoiled babies who are very content and well cared for and loved. As is our newest addition.

The dangling her over the banister was an isolated incident and she is normally very sweet with her and carries her around like a baby. But I thnk initially she thought of her as a stuffed animal as she looks just like one! But I am teaching her that she is a living breathing creature. and trust me I was extremely upset with the *incident* and once she realized how upset I was and what she did she was very remorseful and knew she was wrong. I think she may even be a bit jealous of the attention the puppy gets from me and the rest of the family. So I am going to focus on paying more attention to her to hopefully relieve some of this jealousy/resentment.

I have told her she is not to touch or hold the puppy unless I am right next to her and she has been good about this. Shamrock is a very sweet dog but by no means innocent either. She bites and jumps on our older dogs all day long and even attacked the Beagle for trying to eat her food They have taken quite a bit of abuse from her as well. They are scared of a 6 pound puppy and I have to admit I have been as well when I have tried to play with her and she is being too aggressive and biting my hand or leg and doesn't stop when you say no! And I am nothing but gentle with her so I know she needs discipline as well.

And I understand she is a puppy and biting is a part of playing so we end the game as soon as she starts to bite to teach her this is not acceptable either. I understand why Shamrock may have felt the need to scratch her face to get away but we have two other dogs who have we have never had any issue with. I understand this is partly due to her small size and I do look at it as an opportunity to teach my daughter respect for all creatures and the responsibility and satisfaction of taking care of a pet. They did not bond as well as I would have liked.

My son on the other hand who is 7 is very gentle and sweet by nature and thinks she is the cutest puppy in the world. She sleeps with him every night and he is a big strong kid but he holds this puppy like she is a baby and is so sweet with her it is really touching. I would hate to take her away from him as he is really attached to her and loves taking care of and playing with her.

As does my daughter now that she realizes she could really hurt her if she is not gentle with her. I tell her to treat her as if she were a baby because that's what she is. And she won't pick Shamrock up without me being in the room now and says *see mommy I'm being gentle* so I think she is starting to understand what is expected of her. I also stress if she wants to get down and pulls away she needs to let her go. I think sometimes she wants to be affectionate and does not realize it is not wanted or she is holding her too tight. So as I said they are being supervised 100% of the time now so I don't think we will have any more issues.

thanks again for the advice and take care!

 

[FayeW]

ITA!!!!


OP. Please read this:

http://www.hsus.org/hsus_field/firs..._animal_cruelty_what_parents_should_know.html

Get rid of the dog NOW. And get your daughter into counseling. Someone has exposed this girl to this type of behavior in some sense. They don't pick that up on their own. People that abuse animals do the same to people.

Nonsense! She is a child who maybe quite literally "doesn't know her own strength". She is abusing the dog by playing inappropriately with it, but she just needs to be taught how to interact properly and to learn to respect the dogs space and personal boundaries. She needs to be allowed absolutely no physical contact with the dog unless one of her parents is with her so they can teach her to touch him gently.

OP, we crate trained both of our dogs and would leave the door to the crate open when they were not using it so that they could go inside if they wanted to. Our children were taught that the crate was not to be used to punish the dog(s) and that they were NEVER to reach inside and remove the dog. The crate was the dog's safe place and she needed to be able to retreat there when she needed to.

 

[metime]

I don't think the 5 year old is at fault at all. It doesn't seem like the parents have respect for living things or the OP would have been concerned about her child abusing a puppy.

It is the paretns who have no concern for the well being of the puppy and have the odd expectation that it should be treated like a toy or stuffed animal. If the parents don't care about the puppy that isn't the fault of the 5 year old she is only handling the puppy that way because no one around her is teaching her how to handle it.

It didn't start with the 5 year old, it started with ill informed adults who have little concern for well being the puppy.

 

[Disney Doll]

If you're going to take advice with a grain of salt, then why on earth would you ask for advice?

 

[MushyMushy]

thanks for all of your concern and responses. I take all of it with a grain of salt because I am an animal lover myself and this is actually our third dog. We have a 13 year old boxer/lab mix and a 12 year old beagle who dominate the house and are very spoiled babies who are very content and well cared for and loved. As is our newest addition.

The dangling her over the banister was an isolated incident and she is normally very sweet with her and carries her around like a baby. But I thnk initially she thought of her as a stuffed animal as she looks just like one! But I am teaching her that she is a living breathing creature. and trust me I was extremely upset with the *incident* and once she realized how upset I was and what she did she was very remorseful and knew she was wrong. I think she may even be a bit jealous of the attention the puppy gets from me and the rest of the family. So I am going to focus on paying more attention to her to hopefully relieve some of this jealousy/resentment.

I have told her she is not to touch or hold the puppy unless I am right next to her and she has been good about this. Shamrock is a very sweet dog but by no means innocent either. She bites and jumps on our older dogs all day long and even attacked the Beagle for trying to eat her food They have taken quite a bit of abuse from her as well. They are scared of a 6 pound puppy and I have to admit I have been as well when I have tried to play with her and she is being too aggressive and biting my hand or leg and doesn't stop when you say no! And I am nothing but gentle with her so I know she needs discipline as well.

And I understand she is a puppy and biting is a part of playing so we end the game as soon as she starts to bite to teach her this is not acceptable either. I understand why Shamrock may have felt the need to scratch her face to get away but we have two other dogs who have we have never had any issue with. I understand this is partly due to her small size and I do look at it as an opportunity to teach my daughter respect for all creatures and the responsibility and satisfaction of taking care of a pet. They did not bond as well as I would have liked.

My son on the other hand who is 7 is very gentle and sweet by nature and thinks she is the cutest puppy in the world. She sleeps with him every night and he is a big strong kid but he holds this puppy like she is a baby and is so sweet with her it is really touching. I would hate to take her away from him as he is really attached to her and loves taking care of and playing with her.

As does my daughter now that she realizes she could really hurt her if she is not gentle with her. I tell her to treat her as if she were a baby because that's what she is. And she won't pick Shamrock up without me being in the room now and says *see mommy I'm being gentle* so I think she is starting to understand what is expected of her. I also stress if she wants to get down and pulls away she needs to let her go. I think sometimes she wants to be affectionate and does not realize it is not wanted or she is holding her too tight. So as I said they are being supervised 100% of the time now so I don't think we will have any more issues.

thanks again for the advice and take care!

Sounds like you did a complete 180 from what you posted last night. If you have it so much under control, why did you post for advice?

I get the feeling you didn't like the blunt responses you've received and are now backpedaling a bit.

Now knowing that your youngest has grown up with dogs in the house, my opinion is stronger than ever that she needs to be watched very closely.

 

[RadioNate]

The dangling her over the banister was an isolated incident and she is normally very sweet with her and carries her around like a baby. But I thnk initially she thought of her as a stuffed animal as she looks just like one! But I am teaching her that she is a living breathing creature. and trust me I was extremely upset with the *incident* and once she realized how upset I was and what she did she was very remorseful and knew she was wrong. I think she may even be a bit jealous of the attention the puppy gets from me and the rest of the family. So I am going to focus on paying more attention to her to hopefully relieve some of this jealousy/resentment.


My son on the other hand who is 7 is very gentle and sweet by nature and thinks she is the cutest puppy in the world. She sleeps with him every night and he is a big strong kid but he holds this puppy like she is a baby and is so sweet with her it is really touching. I would hate to take her away from him as he is really attached to her and loves taking care of and playing with her.

As does my daughter now that she realizes she could really hurt her if she is not gentle with her. I tell her to treat her as if she were a baby because that's what she is. And she won't pick Shamrock up without me being in the room now and says *see mommy I'm being gentle* so I think she is starting to understand what is expected of her. I also stress if she wants to get down and pulls away she needs to let her go. I think sometimes she wants to be affectionate and does not realize it is not wanted or she is holding her too tight. So as I said they are being supervised 100% of the time now so I don't think we will have any more issues.

thanks again for the advice and take care!

I guess my question is why are your kids holding the puppy and carrying it around at all??? It ISN'T a toy or a 'baby.'

Maybe this dog doesn't like being manhandled all the time.

I think the kids need to leave the dog alone in general and maybe it's behavior will improve when it doesn't always feel like it someone is going to be messing with him.

 

[hipchickie]

well she did do a 180, but she did say that she told her daughter that she is not allowed to touch the puppy unless supervised.

Frankly, it sounds like all of your dogs could use a little training and discipline. It has been my experience that people who call their dogs "Spoiled" really mean ill behaved dogs who don't obey and have no idea who the alpha is.
Take some time to do some training before that little puppy gets any older.

 

[metime]

If you're going to take advice with a grain of salt, then why on earth would you ask for advice?

Because she thought everyone would agree that this 6 pound puppy is just a bad egg. She obviously didn't expect anyone would fault her on not providing a safe environment for the puppy and her daughter.

 

[mommy22pumpkins]

Metime. What good do you think it does to respond to a request for help and advice with an attack on parenting and accusing someone of lack of concern for the puppy's wellbeing. I wouldn't have posted on her looking for advice if I wasn't concerned. If you were concerned about the puppy or anyone involved's well-being you would be helpful and offer insight and not just down me and my attempt to get some support/advice. Please do me a favor and don't try to help anymore because you have failed miserably!! What good do you think will come from your post??
I won't be reading any further posts so please do not reply unless you have something supportive to say. I won't be reading anyway so sorry to the posters who had good intentions and did try to help. I really appreciate the good hearted people on this board who are actually concerned and offered constructive advice. It is much appreciated but to all the others who just want to point the finger and put someone down get a life and find somene else to put down!!!

 

[CherylDan]

I don't think the 5 year old is at fault at all. It doesn't seem like the parents have respect for living things or the OP would have been concerned about her child abusing a puppy.

It is the paretns who have no concern for the well being of the puppy and have the odd expectation that it should be treated like a toy or stuffed animal. If the parents don't care about the puppy that isn't the fault of the 5 year old she is only handling the puppy that way because no one around her is teaching her how to handle it.

It didn't start with the 5 year old, it started with ill informed adults who have little concern for well being the puppy.

Sounds like you did a complete 180 from what you posted last night. If you have it so much under control, why did you post for advice?

I get the feeling you didn't like the blunt responses you've received and are now backpedaling a bit.

Now knowing that your youngest has grown up with dogs in the house, my opinion is stronger than ever that she needs to be watched very closely.

Well, since you are not interested in any advice, and somehow the problem of you allowing your daughter to abuse this poor puppy has miraculously resolved itself over night, I sincerly hope, for the sake of the puppy, that you mean it when you say you are supervising her. Oh, and by the way, not that you care or anything, but that problem you cited about the puppy jumping and biting on your older dogs, and attacking the Beagle?!?!? Yeah, sounds like you've got it all under control.

 

[metime]

Metime. What good do you think it does to respond to a request for help and advice with an attack on parenting and accusing someone of lack of concern for the puppy's wellbeing. I wouldn't have posted on her looking for advice if I wasn't concerned. If you were concerned about the puppy or anyone involved's well-being you would be helpful and offer insight and not just down me and my attempt to get some support/advice. Please do me a favor and don't try to help anymore because you have failed miserably!! What good do you think will come from your post??
I won't be reading any further posts so please do not reply unless you have something supportive to say. I won't be reading anyway so sorry to the posters who had good intentions and did try to help. I really appreciate the good hearted people on this board who are actually concerned and offered constructive advice. It is much appreciated but to all the others who just want to point the finger and put someone down get a life and find somene else to put down!!!

With so many people ripping on the 5 year old I pointed out that it didn't start with the 5 year old. It is not ok to blame the kid. It is the adult who is supposed to be supervising?

The part where the OP thinks the dog has no excuse is the one factor that shows a complete disregard for the fact that it is a puppy. Animals don't need an excuse to be an animal but people really should take a presonal look when they put kids and animals in the situation when one or the other is getting hurt or is "rough".


The 5 year old and the puppy are blameless.

 

[PinkRhombus]

Metime. What good do you think it does to respond to a request for help and advice with an attack on parenting and accusing someone of lack of concern for the puppy's wellbeing. I wouldn't have posted on her looking for advice if I wasn't concerned. If you were concerned about the puppy or anyone involved's well-being you would be helpful and offer insight and not just down me and my attempt to get some support/advice. Please do me a favor and don't try to help anymore because you have failed miserably!! What good do you think will come from your post??

Eh.....no....I don't think that Metime has the problem.


I have a 4 and a 6 year old and neither of them would think it appropriate to dangle their pets over a railing. They know it is wrong NOW...without them having to do it first and being told it's bad after the fact. Scaring a pet and treating them like a stuffed animal is not age appropriate behavior for a five year old. So somehow this child has missed this lesson.

I still stand by my statement about having her talk to a counselor.

 

[hipchickie]

locked in 3.....2.......1

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Thank you Cheryl Dan for your very compassionate and insightful response. How dare you say I don't care. Who do you think you are. and who made you the expert on this situation. I think it was a mistake to ask for advice from people who know little more about this than I do. My hope was that I would get some support in what I was already doing which is correcting my daughter and teaching her how to handle Shamrock gently and appropriately. Which is what I have been doing. I don't claim to have the situation under control but I am taking steps to make the situarion better but obviously you don't want to hear that. Then you would have no reason to berate me which for some reason you seem to enjoy doing.

Maybe we should take her to a shelter and have her put to sleep. How many people do you know that want a puppy in this economic disaster that we are all living through. That's a great solution but one I am considering due to all of your insenstive and unkind remarks. Maybe we should take a puppy out of a loving home with kind owners who are trying to figure out a way to improve the situation and find a way to make it better. Yes that would probably make you all happy. Maybe that's the solution. Thanks for helping me see come to this conclusion you all have been so helpful.

I think that supervising your daughter and teaching her is the right thing to do.

 

[honugirl]

Like Cesar says, "rules, boundaries, and limitations" should go for both the puppy AND the child. I would heartily recommend his videos and his books for you and your family so you can understand what it means to be a pack leader.

How much exercise does the dog get? Does it ever get walked? I would bet it probably needs more exercise throughout the day. I swear people think that small dogs don't need any exercise and figure it gets enough running around the house all day.

If it has those other issues with the other dogs, I would recommend a trip to a good trainer and an animal behaviorist. If it bit at the beagle, it has food aggression issues and those need to be taken care of immediately. You should be able to take away a dog's dish, toys, etc. without being bit and that goes for any dog, even a puppy.

 

[hipchickie]

Maybe we should take her to a shelter and have her put to sleep. How many people do you know that want a puppy in this economic disaster that we are all living through. That's a great solution but one I am considering due to all of your insenstive and unkind remarks. Maybe we should take a puppy out of a loving home with kind owners who are trying to figure out a way to improve the situation and find a way to make it better. Yes that would probably make you all happy. Maybe that's the solution. Thanks for helping me see come to this conclusion you all have been so helpful.

How did I miss this gem
Are you really threatening to kill a puppy because anonymous posters on a board were "mean" to you?

 

[si-am]

Thank you Cheryl Dan for your very compassionate and insightful response. How dare you say I don't care. Who do you think you are. and who made you the expert on this situation. I think it was a mistake to ask for advice from people who know little more about this than I do. My hope was that I would get some support in what I was already doing which is correcting my daughter and teaching her how to handle Shamrock gently and appropriately. Which is what I have been doing. I don't claim to have the situation under control but I am taking steps to make the situarion better but obviously you don't want to hear that. Then you would have no reason to berate me which for some reason you seem to enjoy doing.

Maybe we should take her to a shelter and have her put to sleep. How many people do you know that want a puppy in this economic disaster that we are all living through. That's a great solution but one I am considering due to all of your insenstive and unkind remarks. Maybe we should take a puppy out of a loving home with kind owners who are trying to figure out a way to improve the situation and find a way to make it better. Yes that would probably make you all happy. Maybe that's the solution. Thanks for helping me see come to this conclusion you all have been so helpful.

So you are considering taking the dog to a shelter because of the unkind remarks in the thread? That doesn't even make sense as an idea.

But probably the dog would be better off in a shelter because some loving family would probably snatch a cute puppy like yours right up in an instant. And they probably wouldn't allow it to be abused by a kid.

Sorry OP. But you came here looking for advice and I didn't really see anyone on here doing anything other than trying to offer sincerely helpful advice.

(And, also, you're the one who said you didn't care when you said you were reading these posts with a "grain of salt." Which is an expression that means you don't take it seriously.)

 

[Scurvy]

Thank you Cheryl Dan for your very compassionate and insightful response. How dare you say I don't care. Who do you think you are. and who made you the expert on this situation. I think it was a mistake to ask for advice from people who know little more about this than I do. My hope was that I would get some support in what I was already doing which is correcting my daughter and teaching her how to handle Shamrock gently and appropriately. Which is what I have been doing. I don't claim to have the situation under control but I am taking steps to make the situarion better but obviously you don't want to hear that. Then you would have no reason to berate me which for some reason you seem to enjoy doing.

Maybe we should take her to a shelter and have her put to sleep. How many people do you know that want a puppy in this economic disaster that we are all living through. That's a great solution but one I am considering due to all of your insenstive and unkind remarks. Maybe we should take a puppy out of a loving home with kind owners who are trying to figure out a way to improve the situation and find a way to make it better. Yes that would probably make you all happy. Maybe that's the solution. Thanks for helping me see come to this conclusion you all have been so helpful.

Wow, you are really overreacting. Your first post did not paint the picture of a loving home with kind owners - maybe you should go back and read it and see if you can understand why we all reacted as we did. Sorry you didn't like the advice. If you weren't willing to consider advice that didn't agree with you, an internet message board probably wasn't the best place to ask for it. Most of us were truly trying to help you make things better and keep you from making things worse. From the things you've posted, it sounds as though many of us do know quite a bit more about dogs than you do and you sound like you could use some help with the subject. If you aren't willing to listen to us, maybe an obedience trainer would be more helpful.

If things have really gotten so much better since last night, that's great. I admit I am shocked to hear that you have other dogs, since your OP didn't sound at all like something a person familiar with dogs would have written.
I hope that your puppy isn't forced to defend herself any more. Good luck to her!