Punishing my family by making them go

OP, you say your older kids are interested in real stuff, why dont you pick up some books on the history of Walt, The World, etc. That may make them more agreeable to going. That being said, that is a lot of people trying to walk around a park together. You may want to carve out some time for the older kids (adults really), to go be on their own. If they've never been to Disney World, they have no idea what to expect and what things adults can enjoy there. To them it probably seems like a kid place only.
 
This trip sounds like the 10th circle of hell. Especially for the adult children (and 2 of them are legal adults) who don't want to go, but are being compelled to because they are free child care and transportation.

OP, this trip is for you, and, maybe for some of your younger kids. It is what you want, it's your dream. Your adults aren't interested. You have some sort of guilt for not doing for the older kids from your 1st marriage what you are doing for the younger ones, but you will have to let that go. You can't force someone to like and enjoy what you like and enjoy, and it is unfair to use your older children to care for your younger ones. They are your responsibility, not theirs. (and I have a big family 6 kids, my oldest are 20, my youngest is 20 months, the 1st 2 have a different bio father than the other 4)

...and for the poster that suggested that because the OP controls the purse strings she controls every aspect of her ADULT children's lives, that is just about the worst idea I have heard. This type of manipulation is exactly what causes adult children to separate themselves from their family of origin. You help your children to the best of your ability because it is the right thing to do to help them become independent, productive, happy adults. You don't do it to use it as leverage against them.
 
I know we all have different family dynamics, so I am not getting how you make an adult go?

I was thinking the same thing. I've always loved Disney and would never have turned down a trip. But I can't see a scenario where my parents could have forced me to go on a trip that I didn't want to go on when I was 20. I would have simply said "no" and that's really the end of the discussion.
 
I was thinking the same thing. I've always loved Disney and would never have turned down a trip. But I can't see a scenario where my parents could have forced me to go on a trip that I didn't want to go on when I was 20. I would have simply said "no" and that's really the end of the discussion.

This. We're planning a big family trip to Europe next summer--an all-out fancy one, hitting London, Paris, and Rome. My DS20 doesn't want to go--he doesn't like heat and crowds, and he's just not that interested. I would very much like him to go--as a mom, I feel bad that we're going to be enjoying this fabulous trip, and he'll be home, caring for the pets. But, it's HIS choice! As he pointed out, 12 days listening to his siblings bicker is something he can do at home for free. And he's got a point there.

To the OP, who seems to have run off, your older children are not your drivers/childcare workers/sherpas. They are young adults who don't want to spend their one-week break driving across the country and caring for siblings.
 
This. We're planning a big family trip to Europe next summer--an all-out fancy one, hitting London, Paris, and Rome. My DS20 doesn't want to go--he doesn't like heat and crowds, and he's just not that interested. I would very much like him to go--as a mom, I feel bad that we're going to be enjoying this fabulous trip, and he'll be home, caring for the pets. But, it's HIS choice! As he pointed out, 12 days listening to his siblings bicker is something he can do at home for free. And he's got a point there.

To the OP, who seems to have run off, your older children are not your drivers/childcare workers/sherpas. They are young adults who don't want to spend their one-week break driving across the country and caring for siblings.

I always begged my parents to go to Europe when I was younger, they never bit. They can't deal with long flights. Truly different strokes for different folks.
 
If you want a Disneyworld trip, go..... but why take your adult children who are against the idea. If you really desire a family vacation why not find someplace that would appeal to everyone. When our oldest was younger we dictated our trips but as she got older we included her in our planning. She is the oldest of four and has more trips to Disney under her belt than I care to admit but she is not a Disney nut.(Like her mom)There are so many places you could go... Some great National Parks, white water rafting, hiking, caves, sand dunes, all of which can be seen in a tent. It took me years to understand that not all people get the Disney thing. I spent a year planning a dream trip to Disney for my best friends family. When they returned the kids said Cedar Point is more fun, I couldn't believe it. Needless to say they have not returned. Sorry but I'd leave them home or find a different place to go.
 


If you want a Disneyworld trip, go..... but why take your adult children who are against the idea. If you really desire a family vacation why not find someplace that would appeal to everyone. When our oldest was younger we dictated our trips but as she got older we included her in our planning. She is the oldest of four and has more trips to Disney under her belt than I care to admit but she is not a Disney nut.(Like her mom)There are so many places you could go... Some great National Parks, white water rafting, hiking, caves, sand dunes, all of which can be seen in a tent. It took me years to understand that not all people get the Disney thing. I spent a year planning a dream trip to Disney for my best friends family. When they returned the kids said Cedar Point is more fun, I couldn't believe it. Needless to say they have not returned. Sorry but I'd leave them home or find a different place to go.

I think the honest answer is that she needs their help. She can't handle the rest of the trip without her adult children's back up. So she is trying to force them to go.
 
Check out the Disney World Tips forum, thread - Help make a list of magical extras. Several items looked interesting and were free, a food tasting at Boma at Animal Kingdom Lodge for instance. There are also some things that your older children could do with the younger, again, free, the Animal Explorers book, you could make it s competition. Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom, is something other than rides and parade to do. You can check it out on WDW website. Not sure if the Easter Eggs will be hidden at Epcot when you are there but again something to do other than ride rides. Hope you have a magical trip!
 
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Sorry, not scared off, slightly offended by some.. but whatever ;) been super busy! Hi guy who says I don't have 9 kids! So, in trying to read and respond to all the comments...
My older children don't mind helping with the younger...in fact the oldest boy LOVES spending time with my 2 year old. My oldest daughter going says shes excited to go on rides with my 9 year old..etc..they are a great help and realize we will appreciate their help..and not free child care. Wow.
I thought about just taking the little ones but decided to turn it into a family vacation. I am completely expecting the older boys and possibly girl to hate it, but if they end up wanting to go back all the better, I would love to go again! (To take my daughters family....I think, considering we haven't gone yet, we might all decide we hate it. Hehe)
We have asked them if there's anything they would like to do, shown them videos, websites, anything I can think of..
As far as the drive, we went on a road trip to Indiana a few years ago(sadly because my older kids grandmother was not doing well) with babies and did fine. Granted we werent going through exhausting days at parks but the drive itself is no biggie. We have camped a week at a time, taking hours to get there..I'm not jumping -completely- blind into this.
Also, again, this summers trips were based around my oldest son and older kids(camping/hiking/state and national parks/cultural) so I dont think "forcing" him/them to go on our family vacation based on the younger kids is unfair(wink people who say I am being unfair and controlling LOL)..oh yes, and actually we hadn't expected the older kids to drive but thank you for trying to make it sound like I am using my children instead of trying to take my family somewhere ..awesome.
Yes the older kids have their own tent.
Anyways..I'm actually not that into going to Disney, in fact I have been anxious about the whole trip. So not really a dream trip for me, living in a land locked state, I would rather go to the beach lol!
So yes, the trip is more for my younger children, I tried to give some details on my older kids to give an idea of their mindset, didn't realize I would get trashed for it. I was thinking the seasoned Disneyers might have some great suggestions to make it more fun for my older kids..thats all I was looking for! Thank you for the people who gave actual suggestions!! =)
 
OP..... this is an interesting thread. It all comes down to an awkward title (which is probably not accurate 100%) and people judging how your family works together. I think if everyone in your group is willing to give it a try, then go for it. It may be awful,it may be great. It will likely be memorable.I'd say any road trip with that many kids and grown kids would be anyway. My advice? Go into this expecting that the older ones will be 'meh' about most of it, and the younger ones will love it. There's a lot to see and do everywhere, even if (for some teens and YA) that means lounging around the pool doing absolutely 'nothing' on some days. plan you park days loosely,and allow the group to split up a bit if needed so everyone can see things they might be interested in. Treat it like regular camping,only with a side of exciting theme park days thrown in there for some fun. And it's ok that Mom has fun too..... as a mom, I know that I do enough for my family that once in a while I expect them to do things with me that I enjoy,it's reciprocation,it's being a family. (I also grew up going on vacation with my mom,as I was the helper older kid with a bunch of younger sibs. I enjoyed those trips,we all had fun)
 
I apologize in advance for being negative (again) about your trip, but I'm still seeing things in your posts that are still throwing red flags for me:

...I am completely expecting the older boys and possibly girl to hate it...

Then don't bring them! Disney's not cheap and as I posted earlier, taking a college student during their spring break on a trip they don't want to go on doesn't sound like a good idea to me. Sometimes they just need that week to decompress, and they deserve it.

...I thought about just taking the little ones but decided to turn it into a family vacation. ...

Then I'd just take the little ones. If you feel you can't handle just the little ones, then I'd consider going sometime when the older kids schedule isn't so tight.

...As far as the drive, we went on a road trip to Indiana a few years ago...with babies and did fine...

It isn't summer and Florida isn't Indiana. While it hopefully won't be an issue, keep in mind that driving from Colorado that time of year always has the risk of running into winter weather.

...Also, again, this summers trips were based around my oldest son and older kids(camping/hiking/state and national parks/cultural) so I dont think "forcing" him/them to go on our family vacation based on the younger kids is unfair...

It is unfair since you're taking him/them out of the only break in 16 weeks. Speaking for myself, college was no picnic...the workload can get pretty intense and I wouldn't rule out that he may have school work that needs to be done during that week. Couldn't you just go after the college year is over?

...Anyways..I'm actually not that into going to Disney, in fact I have been anxious about the whole trip. So not really a dream trip for me, living in a land locked state, I would rather go to the beach lol!...

Wow. I'd say go to the beach, then.

I hope you figure it all out. There's just so much effort in time and financial investment to do a trip to Disney. You've got 11 folks going and it sounds like a good number of them, yourself included, are probably not going to enjoy the trip the way it should be. Its giving you anxiety, the older kids don't want to go and the time frame is really tight for a trip that long. I admire that you're doing it for the little ones, but maybe it would be better to go when everyone has the time and hopefully everyone is looking forward to the adventure.
 
I apologize, too, for being cynical but I really could not even wrap my head around driving with that large a group when a good number of them seem to be just "meh" about going. Let alone camping with a baby - just not my style and I have no experience.

That said, given that spread in age and the preconceptions that some of your older ones have, there's a good chance they won't have a great time, or they'll let their preconceptions keep them from having a great time. Maybe if you go into it with that approach then any joy or fun they do have will feel all the more special.

You didn't want people telling you not to go, so I won't, but I'd try to build in some time, maybe after the little kids are sleeping, for your older kids to do adult things on their own. If there's another parent (didn't say if you have a SO/DH/DW going) around, maybe you could have them stay at the campground with the younger kids one night while you go out with the older kids to Epcot or Disney Springs, and definitely let them have some time to just chill if they want too. Really the best way for everyone to have some enjoyment is to make sure that everyone gets some time to do what they want, without the whole group having to do everything together.

Finally, you said in one of your early posts something along the lines of being "worried about sickos" - for yourself? your older kids? younger kids? what would you expect to do differently at WDW that you wouldn't be doing at home or on vacation anywhere else? Is there something specific you're concerned about?
 
I got curious about tent camping at Ft. Wilderness... you might want to check this out, even though it sounds like you're pretty experienced with tent camping: https://**************.net/2010/11/23/review-the-campsites-at-disneys-fort-wilderness-resort-p4/
 
Sorry, not scared off, slightly offended by some.. but whatever ;) been super busy! Hi guy who says I don't have 9 kids! So, in trying to read and respond to all the comments...
My older children don't mind helping with the younger...in fact the oldest boy LOVES spending time with my 2 year old. My oldest daughter going says shes excited to go on rides with my 9 year old..etc..they are a great help and realize we will appreciate their help..and not free child care. Wow.
I thought about just taking the little ones but decided to turn it into a family vacation. I am completely expecting the older boys and possibly girl to hate it, but if they end up wanting to go back all the better, I would love to go again! (To take my daughters family....I think, considering we haven't gone yet, we might all decide we hate it. Hehe)
We have asked them if there's anything they would like to do, shown them videos, websites, anything I can think of..
As far as the drive, we went on a road trip to Indiana a few years ago(sadly because my older kids grandmother was not doing well) with babies and did fine. Granted we werent going through exhausting days at parks but the drive itself is no biggie. We have camped a week at a time, taking hours to get there..I'm not jumping -completely- blind into this.
Also, again, this summers trips were based around my oldest son and older kids(camping/hiking/state and national parks/cultural) so I dont think "forcing" him/them to go on our family vacation based on the younger kids is unfair(wink people who say I am being unfair and controlling LOL)..oh yes, and actually we hadn't expected the older kids to drive but thank you for trying to make it sound like I am using my children instead of trying to take my family somewhere ..awesome.
Yes the older kids have their own tent.
Anyways..I'm actually not that into going to Disney, in fact I have been anxious about the whole trip. So not really a dream trip for me, living in a land locked state, I would rather go to the beach lol!
So yes, the trip is more for my younger children, I tried to give some details on my older kids to give an idea of their mindset, didn't realize I would get trashed for it. I was thinking the seasoned Disneyers might have some great suggestions to make it more fun for my older kids..thats all I was looking for! Thank you for the people who gave actual suggestions!! =)

I have read your update. When you asked the older ones what they wanted to do, based on the videos you showed them, what did they say?

You fully expect your boys and possibly your daughter to hate this trip, yet you are hauling them along, so do you have a backup plan if they really are miserable? I have been on a trip where one adult hated it, yes...hated Disney. DxDDP, Club Level at the Grand. And she was miserable. Day one, day two, even day three were okay, but by day eight even I was ready to strap her into IASW and would not have looked back. I am warning you that even someone who is trying to hide misery can take the wind out of everyone's sails.

I am still trying to understand a family trip to Disney when no one but the youngsters even wants to be there. I would take the whole family to the beach and be done with it.
 
Sorry, not scared off, slightly offended by some.. but whatever ;) been super busy! Hi guy who says I don't have 9 kids! So, in trying to read and respond to all the comments...
My older children don't mind helping with the younger...in fact the oldest boy LOVES spending time with my 2 year old. My oldest daughter going says shes excited to go on rides with my 9 year old..etc..they are a great help and realize we will appreciate their help..and not free child care. Wow.
I thought about just taking the little ones but decided to turn it into a family vacation. I am completely expecting the older boys and possibly girl to hate it, but if they end up wanting to go back all the better, I would love to go again! (To take my daughters family....I think, considering we haven't gone yet, we might all decide we hate it. Hehe)
We have asked them if there's anything they would like to do, shown them videos, websites, anything I can think of..
As far as the drive, we went on a road trip to Indiana a few years ago(sadly because my older kids grandmother was not doing well) with babies and did fine. Granted we werent going through exhausting days at parks but the drive itself is no biggie. We have camped a week at a time, taking hours to get there..I'm not jumping -completely- blind into this.
Also, again, this summers trips were based around my oldest son and older kids(camping/hiking/state and national parks/cultural) so I dont think "forcing" him/them to go on our family vacation based on the younger kids is unfair(wink people who say I am being unfair and controlling LOL)..oh yes, and actually we hadn't expected the older kids to drive but thank you for trying to make it sound like I am using my children instead of trying to take my family somewhere ..awesome.
Yes the older kids have their own tent.
Anyways..I'm actually not that into going to Disney, in fact I have been anxious about the whole trip. So not really a dream trip for me, living in a land locked state, I would rather go to the beach lol!
So yes, the trip is more for my younger children, I tried to give some details on my older kids to give an idea of their mindset, didn't realize I would get trashed for it. I was thinking the seasoned Disneyers might have some great suggestions to make it more fun for my older kids..thats all I was looking for! Thank you for the people who gave actual suggestions!! =)

Since you are in CO, couldn't you more easily drive to CA? Spend a day or two at Disneyland/California Adventure and the rest camping by the beach? Camping, shorter drive, beach, Disney
 
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Since you are in CO, couldn't you more easily drive to CA? Spend a day or two at Disneyland/California Adventure and the rest camping by the beach? Camping, shorter drive, beach, Disney

That's weird, how did my quote from my thread end up here, on someone else's unrelated thread?
 
That's weird, how did my quote from my thread end up here, on someone else's unrelated thread?

I someone hits the "quote" button, but does not insert the quote on that thread, and then heads over to another thread and hits the "Quote" button on that thread, all saved "quotes" are pasted into that response. It has happened to me several times. I start to respond, get distracted and then when I return to the DIS I forget that I have something saved.
 

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