Public Service Project, Help Bill Plan His First Race

[windwalker]

Have you forgotten so soon? I am already known in YARC-dom (a title bestowed by you) as Prince of Unusual Pleasures (it's the whole smelling the inside of the brand new running shoe thing, but we won't get into that here. )

No Dude this is beyound that. The brotherhood is made up of those "YARC" members who have taken "You ain't right to the level of an art form".

It's a super double secret society that Lily keeps a watchful eye on. We believe that the world needs chaos.

Evil panda

 

[windwalker]

Bill, I am so glad you decided on clothes for your race! Afterall, the real point of clothing is to absorb the sweat and keep it from splattering the gators and giving them a craving for you!

I really don't think the world is ready for an unclothed Bill scampering through the woods. That would definately have the little TNT Honnies in therapy for quite some time.

Besides all that pointing and laughing is distracting.

Evil Panda

 

[Honeibee]

Bill -

In the interest of camaraderie and team spirit, make sure you compliment all the ladies you see who are really pushing themselves. Comments such as "Nice buns, honey!" or perhaps "That singlet sure looks great on you. I'd like to see it on the floor" or even "All that heavy breathing is getting me excited!" will really endear you to your fellow racers!

 

[nepatsfan73]

Thanks everyone. A couple of quick questions. While I'm zig-zagging, bumping and politely yelling at people to get their butts out of my way (realize that this will only be about the first 100 feet of the race or so while I am pushing it as fast as I can until I burn out and suck wind the next 4 miles or so), is it alright to chop block, elbow smash, body slam and/or reverse pile-drive anyone in my way?

Also, seeing how someone mentioned it is cool in Florida at night, I'll probably also wear some gloves (I remember Bill Rogers often wearing them when running the Boston Marathon). If I have to fight some women's boy friend after using some of the Queen's friendship-building, pick-up lines, does road race etiquette reguire that I drop my gloves before fighting or can I leave them on?

 

[jeanneg]

Bill -

In the interest of camaraderie and team spirit, make sure you compliment all the ladies you see who are really pushing themselves. Comments such as "Nice buns, honey!" or perhaps "That singlet sure looks great on you. I'd like to see it on the floor" or even "All that heavy breathing is getting me excited!" will really endear you to your fellow racers!

Gee, I hope I run next to someone like that.......haven't heard comments like that in years....and years!

 

[klh-or]

Admittedly, I've never done an event in Florida, but something I think is very worthwhile to consider is this: A Gator Lure. Think about it. If you are being chased by a hungry reptilian aggressor, isn't that a sure bet for a PB? (PB = personal best, not peanut butter...a whole other subject.) I'm thinking along the lines of a fishing pole rigged up to your wrist sweat band and then flung over your shoulder. That way, if you are using your arms like a proper athlete, there will be some back and forth motion of said lure, creating a very attractive moving target for the gator(s). Bait? I did some research on this. Alligators eat everything from little frogs to wild hogs. I'm an animal lover, so I'm thinking a string of mechanical toads, liberally basted in Gator Gitter, croakin' like crazy. Picture these little dudes bobbing like crazing at the end of that fishing pole creating a multisensory delight for any cold-blooded Florida gator. Snap! Snap!

Really. I'm totally good with you trying out my idea before I head south for the 1/2 in January. My gift to you. Let me know how it works out and any modifications you'd recommend.

Karla

 

[Steffwalks]

Bait? I did some research on this. Alligators eat everything from little frogs to wild hogs. I'm an animal lover, so I'm thinking a string of mechanical toads, liberally basted in Gator Gitter, croakin' like crazy. Picture these little dudes bobbing like crazing at the end of that fishing pole creating a multisensory delight for any cold-blooded Florida gator. Snap! Snap!

Since I am married to a serious fisherman, (Bass Pro sends a get well card if he hasn't place an order within 4 weeks of the last one) I would suggest using Uncle Josh's Pork flavored Frog baits. You could actually string several of them together! What could be more irresistable to a gator than frogs that smell like hogs!!!! What a deal. And instead of the reel sized pole, you could just use a Pocket Fisherman, and uh,... carry it... in your uh....pocket! Then you won't have that pesky 40 lb test to get tangled up in.

At least, that's the improvements I would suggest......besides the little froggy baits are only $3.99 each!

 

[nepatsfan73]

Since I am married to a serious fisherman, (Bass Pro sends a get well card if he hasn't place an order within 4 weeks of the last one) I would suggest using Uncle Josh's Pork flavored Frog baits. You could actually string several of them together! What could be more irresistable to a gator than frogs that smell like hogs!!!! What a deal. And instead of the reel sized pole, you could just use a Pocket Fisherman, and uh,... carry it... in your uh....pocket! Then you won't have that pesky 40 lb test to get tangled up in.

At least, that's the improvements I would suggest......besides the little froggy baits are only $3.99 each!

Should I also chum the course with blood and fish parts? That should probably have all the gators out, ready and looking for some good eats by the time you 13Kers come through.

 

[klh-or]

Good ideas, indeed, Steffwalks! Pork PLUS frogs? Perfect! Important to rig up some sort of "voice" for our little froggie friends, though. Perhaps if Bill follows above recommendations to tank up on lots of beans pre-race then, well, never mind. I'm pretty set on the full-size rod, though, because I think the to-and-fro motion of the wrist attachment will be critical. Once this prototype has been created, just imagine the opportunities to advance the design to produce an entire LINE of these gizmos! I'm getting misty just thinking about the possibilities!

 

[windwalker]

I'm getting misty just thinking about the possibilities!

Is that all it takes! Thinking of all the money I wasted on candy and flowers. I should have just showed up with a pork frog.

While we are tromping through the forest our boy Bill with have all the hot ladies getting misty. Maybe we are giving him to much information here.

Evil panda

 

[Steffwalks]

Bill wrote:

Should I also chum the course with blood and fish parts? That should probably have all the gators out, ready and looking for some good eats by the time you 13Kers come through.

Bill, this was an invention for you! There is absolutely no reason to cut us in, at this time!

klh-or Wrote:

I'm pretty set on the full-size rod, though, because I think the to-and-fro motion of the wrist attachment will be critical. Once this prototype has been created, just imagine the opportunities to advance the design to produce an entire LINE of these gizmos! I'm getting misty just thinking about the possibilities!

Perhaps you're right about the pocket fisherman. It seems like a cheap gimmick anyway, and we would ONLY want quality! Never did trust Ron Popeil, anyway.

 

[windwalker]

Bill this is kinda cutting edge, but I have an Aussi friend who does ultra races. He swears by peanuts and sardines. He carries a zip lock baggie full of sardines and loads his pockets with the peanuts. He says the energy jolt from the sardines has to be experienced to be believed.

He also sticks a magnet up his, well that's not important here, that is for pros only.

Evil Panda

 

[nepatsfan73]

I can understand the magnet if racing closer to one of the Poles (North or South, not a person from Poland WWDave ), but do you think it will help in Florida?

By the way Dave, is it true that most people from Kentucky have pecans. You know, an empty can you keep in the car in case you have to relieve yourself.

 

[Big Vic]

I can understand the magnet if racing closer to one of the Poles (North or South, not a person from Poland WWDave ), but do you think it will help in Florida?

By the way Dave, is it true that most people from Kentucky have pecans. You know, an empty can you keep in the car in case you have to relieve yourself.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

[ultramickeymouse]

I can understand the magnet if racing closer to one of the Poles (North or South, not a person from Poland WWDave ), but do you think it will help in Florida?

By the way Dave, is it true that most people from Kentucky have pecans. You know, an empty can you keep in the car in case you have to relieve yourself.

 

[windwalker]

I can understand the magnet if racing closer to one of the Poles (North or South, not a person from Poland WWDave ), but do you think it will help in Florida?

By the way Dave, is it true that most people from Kentucky have pecans. You know, an empty can you keep in the car in case you have to relieve yourself.

Naw that's the Tenn rednecks. We use helmets from that Foxboro, Mass football team. Can't recall their name. New England Pinatas I think.

Evil Panda

 

[Duanerice]

Bill, you have already received invaluable information. People would pay a great deal of money to get this advice. Here are a couple of other tidbits to add to your list:

Always run near someone that is faster than you. This way when the gators attack, they can out run you and you can be the hero for taking one for the team!

Also, remember the moon is very bright in Florida. Very, very dark sunglasses are a must, especially at night on some of the back roads.

enjoy,
Duane

 

[corinnak]

Excellent pre-race advice all around, but now we need to take a moment to talk about a serious subject: Spit.

All that hydration is important because everyone knows, you can't maintain adequate spit without adequate hydration. When you are preparing to spit, be sure to bring the loogie up with maximum volume in your throat. CLHHHHHH! This intimidates those runners around you. Then, spit to one side or the other in as elegant an arc as possible. Two points for hitting a fellow racer wearing a hat, three points for a racer not wearing a hat. At the end of the race, you can trade these points in for bagels and cut up oranges.

I'm glad you are going to have a camelback filled with spirits. Might I suggest coupling that with a couple of aquapods full of orange juice, the pulpy kind? That will give you that extra burst of vitamin C, which everyone knows helps with digestion.

You are going to do so great!!!

 

[jeanneg]

Remind me not to run anywhere near Corinna......

 

[ultramickeymouse]

Bill: Don't forget to carry a large metal pole. T-Storms are hitting here now and with that burst on energy from a lightening strike, you will have energy all day and night

I am on ME bus and just arrived at WDW