PTSD + Disney World

[DizFan101]

I suffer from PTSD and it's hard just to get out of the house many days w/o fearing something is going to happen. I used to be able to just get up and do whatever my mind comes to it. But now it's hard because I wasn't a huge people person to begin with but now it's hard to get out the door.

I am tired and feel achy. I used to be able to walk like a half mile 2x a day and now I can't even walk around the block w/o fearing something will go wrong.

I remember the good old days when I was just able to talk to strangers w/o fear and able to get up out the door of the hotel room w/o having to think what do i want to do today on vacation w/o thinking i could be doing something else.

I miss going to Disney World but I just don't enjoy anything as I used to. It used to be a special time w/ my mom and I but now it just seems all horrible. B-cause I can't phanthom going w/o her to Disney without thinking about the good old times, instead of the enjoy ment of being in Disney World at the time.

I used to set my tv to anything Disney related but now I just don't care. I have seen them a lot but i used to enjoy them so much that I didn't care that I saw them 2-3-4x. But I realized that i wasn't doing much with my life and getting no where just thinking about Disney and wondering about the future. It was like I always had disney on my mind. LOL.

But now how do I deal with Disney World? The beginning problem was that i couldn't deal with death so i stayed clear of the haunted mansion (still do). But it's just not enjoyable. "Disney not enjoyable? Phish Posh.. lol."

I have been seeing a therapist but nothing has come from it. I know death comes to everyone sooner or later but I just can't help thinking about it.

 

[krisnme]

I wish I had some answers for you, you seem to be in a bad place mentally and I hope your therapy is helping to give you answers. I am sorry WDW is no longer a happy place for you and I hope that one day you can visit again without any pain. Just wanted to send a hug and say "hang in there" I hope things get better.

 

[Heluvsme]

DizFan, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder seems like only a portion of what might be going on. Please go see a doctor, tell them your thoughts about depression and death. There are things that can be done to bring back the joy you used to feel, medication can help, and when combined with therapy you can overcome depression and PTSD.

If you can't see a doctor, at least make a phone call to a depression hotline, or call a family member who might be able to help. You're breaking my heart, I really am worried about you... You know we're all here to listen to you if you feel like talking about anything.

 

[bookwormde]

This may sound funny, but try to find a therapist that is really into Disney.
It does sound like you have an overlay of depression, so making sure that is being properly manages is important.
As for WDW if you find someone you really trust (adn who deserves that trust) going with that person would be ideal.

 

[DizFan101]

DizFan, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder seems like only a portion of what might be going on. Please go see a doctor, tell them your thoughts about depression and death. There are things that can be done to bring back the joy you used to feel, medication can help, and when combined with therapy you can overcome depression and PTSD.

If you can't see a doctor, at least make a phone call to a depression hotline, or call a family member who might be able to help. You're breaking my heart, I really am worried about you... You know we're all here to listen to you if you feel like talking about anything.

I was recently in the hospital for an allergic reaction which I never had before. . My throat decided to close up and I was rushed to the hospital at 1am. Long story short, they took blood sample and urine test and nothing abnormal came back. I thought there would be something suggesting it was something wrong with my thyroid since I seemed to have many of the symptoms. But it came back normal...along with the urine test...Normal. it smells more horrible then usual, but that could just be me. lol.

This may sound funny, but try to find a therapist that is really into Disney.
It does sound like you have an overlay of depression, so making sure that is being properly manages is important.
As for WDW if you find someone you really trust (adn who deserves that trust) going with that person would be ideal.

The thing is, therapy seems to be making the problems worse since I have to go over the things again. Talking about it makes it more real... I quit so many things in the past and I just opened up like I wear my emotions on my sleeves these days and it just doesn't have that emergency stop button or a power off button. I cry out of the blue. It's 10:50pm. I'm 25 years old, I know i am "young" to most people but I feel old because I just want to sleep but i'm scared to sleep because my dreams are better then my life and it makes me feel worse when I wake up.

I am so nervous around people. Today i just sat in Barnes and Nobles being miserable just trying to adjust to being around people in general, which I used to be good at because I'd be in my own world it seemed and was happy doing any job (closing envelopes, putting labels on envelopes, etc.) I found everything joyous and happy. But now It's like I hardly want to get out of bed because i'm so tired but at the same time I want to get out side and do things. I also want attention but at the same time, i want to be left alone... ARGH. So freaking confusing.

on the better note, the scale said i dropped 5 pounds out of the blue. only good thing...

 

[bookwormde]

I think you are confusing therapy with your current therapist. Dwelling on the negataive sitting in an office, is not good for anyone.

You need to find a therapist who does real world work or has someone that they work with, very much like an OT to identify and build on successes and opportunities.

It is not easy to find the "good ones" but they are out there.

I am an aspie so I know what it is like to struggle in the social world, but was fortunate to be spared most of the trauma that many aspies experiance.

 

[Bete]

there may be support groups that could help. Maybe, your therapist or doctor would know a good group to join.

This may sound silly, but I almost joined a support group when my almost 16 year old beagle dog had to be put to sleep. My vet had a list of a few places. They met once a month, but a few were weekly. I was having horrible thoughts and feelings; because, it was my decision to put her to rest. She was in great pain. I got lucky and I found a shelter dog to adopt very quickly and it snapped me out of this mood. My new dog is a blessing to me. It made the road much easier to travel. I still think of my other dog, but I'm much better now.

Anyway, I shared this for two reasons: for one to try a support group, but also, you may want to consider adopting a pet even a cat. A dog's unconditional love can't be beat.

This will not lead to an immediate result regarding Disney, but it should help in the long run.

You do probably have to reach out to someone like your father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, or a cousin. If they are not close by try calling them and really talking to one another. If there isn't much family then reach out to a friend.

Finally, you may want to consider more schooling. Get your mind busy with other things. There's so many degrees now that you get doing on-line you don't even have to go to out too much to get one these days. Join a club of some sort or get more involved with church or volunteer work.

 

[gilesmt]

I am sorry that you are struggling. I and my ex and one of our children have PTSD, each of us suffer differently, of course we all got it from different reasons and we all have different gene pools. My ex got it from Vietnam, I from a abusive childhood and an adult abduction, my daughter from a single incident which seems weird to an adult but I guess can really effect a child, when we moved into a relatively safe neighborhood in Tacoma,WA and was there just two days, the police came from a neighbors fights (maybe gangs), a gun was found in the trash, that's all and my daughters whole life changed, it took me 4years as a single mom to sell the house and get out, nothing else happened but at her age 8 it was traumatic and she has PTSD.

Anyway, we all have the depression you seem to have at times. It does get better with age and with internal help. Please find a therapist that is not a therapist that dwells on the events that gave you PTSD, none of us feel that is helpful, we actually feel more and more tramatized when we have to talk about it. Find a therapist, who believes in finding why you may be scared now, relate it to your past and find solutions from there. Example, I was terrified of people, when I meet them I physically got sick to my stomach, shake, even past out a few times, to sit and talk about the abuse did nothing to help. But to have a therapist say, okay let's go back in your brain and think of the act, how did you feel, okay, (never having to bring up and talk about the abuse, just brought a mental image for a second of the abuse, but a lot of the feelings) then asked to bring those feelings into why I felt them to day when I meet someone. Though that the therapist over time would help with things like boundaries, and relaxation techniques and slowly, I learned to realize I had boundaries, I could tell people I meet to back up, to close, or unsafe do not become friendly. I could also relax, tell mysel that I was not in the deep dark he'll of my past, that I was in today, I was in control, I was safe.

It took a lot of work, but thankfully my ex and I both made it through, your age is a factor also, we suffered more throw our 20's and 30's some because it was all about talk therapy then, others because of chemistry in your brain at that age, our daughter is fighting it more now in her twenties. If you can fight your way threw two walks a day, do so we would all tell you the fresh air, the strength you build up and the ability for your brain to actually be tired and relax will make a huge difference. If you run into people and your not ready, walk when people would not be out, like 5am or 9pm, as long as it is a safe neighborhood. Walk a mile each time.

Hope this helps, others have been there. I may have missed something, if you have lost your mother, try a grief counselor group also, this may help with that.