Proud Of My Daughter: Advocating At Gyno

Oldest DS and DIL have been together since their first year of college and neither one of them ever wanted children. DS went to have a vasectomy and no one would do it until he turned 30!
Men should really be as concerned about this as women.

It boggles my mind that either husband or wife should have to sign off on something that another person wants to do to their own body. That is not the doctor, insurance, or the government's business.
 
I had younger DD via C-section and had my tubes tied right afterwards. The surgeon also wanted my husband’s consent and said it was required by his own and the hospital’s liability/malpractice insurance. The same applied when he had a vasectomy a few months later. This was 32 years ago.
My doc was unable to perform a tubal on my request as part of my second section 27 years ago because the Catholic hospital would not authorize the procedure. He also told me he personally would not perform one in my situation at my age during delivery because of the risk of something happening to the baby and my then being unable to have another. Apparently he had a patient this happened to and watching the family's heartbreak really took a toll on him. While it wasn't ideal for my situation I could understand where he was coming from on a human level and appreciated the fact he genuinely cared about his patients and wasn't trying to impose his will on me. He would have performed the procedure a year or so down the line in a surgical center if I wanted to go forward.

My husband ended up having a vasectomy shortly after our second daughter was born so that I wouldn't have to undergo another substantial procedure, and I had to sign forms attesting to being informed and consenting to his procedure.

Ironically when DD was about a year and a half I had to have a hysterectomy because of issues I was having. My doctor was shaken because of my age and tried to resolve the issues short of surgery, but was relieved that, surgery or no, DH and I both were done having children.
 
I had asked for an ablation for issues I was having and because you can still get pregnant and it would not be good, my gyno told that she wouldn't do it unless DH got a vasectomy. I said that he would not (he does not do well with medical stuff) and that she could tie my tubes and she said no he had to have it done. My sister had an ablation after her husband at the time had a vasectomy. They are now divorced and she is seeing someone else and has to be back on BC to not get pregnant. I was pissed when I left and got a new Gyno that is awesome. She removed my tubes and tried to do the ablation (found out that I have a thin uterus and it poked though so couldn't be done). When asked about what else I could do she said hysterectomy. She has been asking about this for a few years with my issues but I always wanted to avoid it. She really listens to me and does what I am comfortable with and what I want to do.
 
Men should really be as concerned about this as women.

It boggles my mind that either husband or wife should have to sign off on something that another person wants to do to their own body. That is not the doctor, insurance, or the government's business.
I think any acknowledgements Doctors require are created by lawyers to try and protect Doctors from lawsuits. While it is unlikely a Doctor would lose a suit for doing a sterilization procedure without the consent of their partner, it still would be expensive to defend.
I think it is a personal decision. I am 180 degrees out from you, it boggles my mind that a spouse would not want their spouse to be involved in every aspect of their life. But, that is what is right for my wife and I.
 

I think any acknowledgements Doctors require are created by lawyers to try and protect Doctors from lawsuits. While it is unlikely a Doctor would lose a suit for doing a sterilization procedure without the consent of their partner, it still would be expensive to defend.
I think it is a personal decision. I am 180 degrees out from you, it boggles my mind that a spouse would not want their spouse to be involved in every aspect of their life. But, that is what is right for my wife and I.
Excellent point. In this litigious society we live in, unfortunately doctors have to be worried about who may sue them. And yes, it can be very costly to just be involved in a lawsuit (time, money, etc.), regardless of who wins.
 
I had severe hyperemesis during my pregnancy and had to get a feeding tube put in my chest (only after a surgeon intervened when I got gallstones at 29 weeks). When I had to have an emergency c-section, I was arguing with the OB after my daughter was born, demanding she tie my tubes or take those suckers out because after that pregnancy there was no way on earth I was giving birth again. She refused saying at 29 I was too young (this was in 2006).

My husband didn't need any convincing getting a vasectomy, he offered to do it and had to get it redone because the first time didn't take.

We tell our daughter that if she wants siblings, we'll get pets.
 
Excellent point. In this litigious society we live in, unfortunately doctors have to be worried about who may sue them. And yes, it can be very costly to just be involved in a lawsuit (time, money, etc.), regardless of who wins.
I know more than one person who got angry with their auto insurance company for offering a settlement......"Go Away" money in a case that they had zero liability in. It is all the bottom line. Moving forward in court would cost at least $100,000, paying $20,000 to settle the case saves $80,000.
 
I know more than one person who got angry with their auto insurance company for offering a settlement......"Go Away" money in a case that they had zero liability in. It is all the bottom line. Moving forward in court would cost at least $100,000, paying $20,000 to settle the case saves $80,000.
I've unfortunately been involved in a couple of situations at work where HR was concerned the other person might sue. They told me that even though we were "in the right" and had a solid case, they wanted to avoid litigation at all costs because it would still be costly (time and money) to even have to produce documentation, be deposed, etc.
 
I had asked for an ablation for issues I was having and because you can still get pregnant and it would not be good, my gyno told that she wouldn't do it unless DH got a vasectomy. I said that he would not (he does not do well with medical stuff) and that she could tie my tubes and she said no he had to have it done. My sister had an ablation after her husband at the time had a vasectomy. They are now divorced and she is seeing someone else and has to be back on BC to not get pregnant. I was pissed when I left and got a new Gyno that is awesome. She removed my tubes and tried to do the ablation (found out that I have a thin uterus and it poked though so couldn't be done). When asked about what else I could do she said hysterectomy. She has been asking about this for a few years with my issues but I always wanted to avoid it. She really listens to me and does what I am comfortable with and what I want to do.
Wow...it is just astonishing to me that ppl. think it's okay and that Dr.s do not respect an individuals right to do what they feel is best for their own body. It's really disgusting honestly and seems so archaic. I think if ppl. knew this and it was somehow part of marriage vows ppl. may think twice about getting married. NO ONE should have any say so over what I do with my or what my husband does with his. Sure, I'm sure in most cases most ppl. would talk it over with their spouse, but that is between the 2 married individuals and is no business of anyone elses and if 1 spouse wanted/needed to make that decision on their own, the that should 100% be their right.

So sorry you had to go through that.
 
The part that I never understood with this was it could be fatal if you get pregnant after an ablation. Why wouldn't they want the person getting the ablation make it so they couldn't get pregnant. I get that it is an easier procedure for the guy but that is still not keeping the female from getting pregnant. As the case is with my sister right now. The logic just didn't make sense. I also think this doctor did not want to do the ablation because I was in my late 30's. She just kept saying I was too young. My mom agreed when I told her since you wouldn't get symptoms is you got uterine cancer.

I am just glad that I found a doctor that is so much better. I found this one because the OBGYN I was seeing refused to see my daughter when the ER said she had a cyst. She didn't take pediatric patients. So her pediatrician recommended this one. Come to find out after 2 doctors in the ER and a visit to the pediatrician, the OBGYN found the problem. It was not a cyst. She pulled her stomach muscles. She was also the one that found DD's clotting issue. She has been the absolute best. She has a very tell you how it is personality but is so nice and really gets to know you. We have tried everything to help with my periods and now BC isn't really working. She has been the one to recommend a hysterectomy (a few times over the years) but would give me the other options as well. She knew I wasn't ready for that yet. I am now as nothing is working any longer. When I finally made the decision she sat with DH and I for about 30 minutes to answer all of our questions. I had a full page typed for her of our questions (we didn't want to forget any when we got there).
 
Wow...it is just astonishing to me that ppl. think it's okay and that Dr.s do not respect an individuals right to do what they feel is best for their own body. It's really disgusting honestly and seems so archaic. I think if ppl. knew this and it was somehow part of marriage vows ppl. may think twice about getting married. NO ONE should have any say so over what I do with my or what my husband does with his. Sure, I'm sure in most cases most ppl. would talk it over with their spouse, but that is between the 2 married individuals and is no business of anyone elses and if 1 spouse wanted/needed to make that decision on their own, the that should 100% be their right.

So sorry you had to go through that.
The sad thing is, women who are single have been told they need their father or other male next of kin to sign off on this.
 
My impression is wondering if the law treats spouses as pets where our owners can sue because we can't decide for ourselves.
I don’t think getting a spouse’s “permission” is a law anywhere, but rather insurance company requirements or hospital/doctor policy.
 
I think any acknowledgements Doctors require are created by lawyers to try and protect Doctors from lawsuits. While it is unlikely a Doctor would lose a suit for doing a sterilization procedure without the consent of their partner, it still would be expensive to defend.
I think it is a personal decision. I am 180 degrees out from you, it boggles my mind that a spouse would not want their spouse to be involved in every aspect of their life. But, that is what is right for my wife and I.

Having them be involved in such a decision is very different then a doctor or other 3rd party asking for their permission to perform the procedure.
 
Having them be involved in such a decision is very different then a doctor or other 3rd party asking for their permission to perform the procedure.
No argument there. But apparently I am not the only one who had a Doctor want the spouse involved. So not unheard of.
 
No argument there. But apparently I am not the only one who had a Doctor want the spouse involved. So not unheard of.
Definitely not unheard of. While I do not agree with needing spousal approval for such things, I am glad to see that doctors are also asking for the wife's "permission' as well. It is well known that doctors will ask for the husbands approval before performing female sterilization procedures.
 
I don’t think getting a spouse’s “permission” is a law anywhere, but rather insurance company requirements or hospital/doctor policy.
You think it was preference behind the policy? I figured it was to prevent lawsuits from the spouse but I guess the idea people just liked it that way works too.
 
You think it was preference behind the policy? I figured it was to prevent lawsuits from the spouse but I guess the idea people just liked it that way works too.
Where did what you quoted say "preference" anywhere?
 
Where did what you quoted say "preference" anywhere?
OK, so if law doesn't drive policy and preference doesn't drive policy, then what is it your inference tells you drives the practice gathering spouse input? I'm open to anything either wants to share and am quite curious at this point, inference can go anywhere so I hope it is interesting.
 













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