Proper wedding etiquette-not attending.

[QJ411]

It's true, in the NYC region, it can be a bit higher. They are holding their party on Park Ave. and I think it must be at least over $150 per plate. But who knows right now.

I have been considering getting a gift instead. They're not registered and yes, she did give DH and I a monetary gift for our wedding (she attended my wedding).

My parents and sister were also invited as a family but they're only giving $60 (they won't be able to attend either, they'll be on the cruise w/ us). Do you think $60 is too little? Or should I bump it to $100 for them?

Good grief....

 

[carole88]

I would go with $100. I lived in Long Island and I believe gift giving tends to be higher in the NE. If your budget can afford it, I say go with the $100.

 

[kadaten]

Originally posted by DWhittles
I have a question in a similar vein...
I've been married for 5 years and my son is 9 1/2 months old. I had a bridal shower and a baby shower. None of my husband's cousins gave me a gift or attended either event. My husband's aunts did all the gift giving.
Now all of my husband's cousins are getting married and I feel that turn about is fair play. Should I have to give a gift along with my mother in law? I think that since I didn't get gifts from them, I shouldn't have to give them.
What do you guys think?

Have you considered the age of the cousins then and now?

When we got married, we were the first in our generation in my family, and second in his to get married. All our cousins had their names on their parents' gift cards, they did not send separate gifts.....they weren't yet married or living a full life of their own yet, so they were included in the family present. Come to think of it, my maid of honor didn't either. She was in her first year of grad school, so her name was included in her parents' gift. Didn't bother me in the least.

9 years down the line, 2 other cousins have gotten married, and YES, we gave them gifts. Why? When they got married (one this year, and one 3 years ago) we were older, had jobs, etc. and could send our own gift. We have gone in on some family gifts, but by sending our share....not just by having our names added to the card.

Just make sure you take into account their age/station before you decide to leave them off your list. However, if they've established a "we don't do gifts" tradition between the families, you don't have to break it....